Everything is going wrong

[alissa]

So, I've been having trouble with friendships for some time now. I feel like I can't keep them, only at a superficial level, but when I get close to them, they pull away. Right now I'm in an okay situation with my friends from high school, but only because I don't share anything personal from my life. My best friend is self absorbed and talks about herself all the time, and when I talk about my life she doesn't care, like she just says things like 'oh that sucks' and then goes back to herself. There is this girl in college that is in my friend group and sometimes attacks me for no reason, like today she said I was fake because I laughed at a girl's joke, and the other day she said I do make up like shit (I know, it's stupid, but it still hurts because I feel her maliciousness). Things with my boyfriend are not going well because we've been fighting about petty reasons recently, but ineedy and it's mostly because I act needy and demanding all the time. I don't mean to, but at the moment it is like I can't control myself. On top of it all, my dad has been fired from his job. So i really dont know  how to improve my life. 

[IrmaJean]

Welcome, alissa.

Have you ever read about attachment and the different styles of attachment? This can affect how we interact and respond to others within relationships. Sometimes we're bumping into others' struggles and challenges too, which can complicate things further. I have found it helpful to work on self care. Are you able to listen to your needs when you're feeling distressed?

I hope things improve for you, alissa. I hope you will continue to share if it is helpful to you.

[Victimorthecrime]

Hi Alissa. It sounds like you are going through a rough time now. A lot of us here are.  One thing I wished I had thought about when I was in college is just how transient many of these relationships are.  As I look back I see I invested a lot of time & energy in people who soon disappeared after school was over.  So the moral of the story is to put some more focus on yourself and what the future will hold for you in the next few years.  Don't worry so much about people & their comments. Take it for what it is worth.