Not sure what I'm looking for

[Someday]

by signing up here. Maybe I just need to vent. Like a lot of guys here I don't mind too much about my erect size (5 inches). But my flaccid size (1 inch) is what has bothered me my entire life. I don't even like looking at myself in the mirror. For a tall guy at 6'5 though, 5 inches just doesn't look right. I'm not a virgin but have limited experience with women going into my late 30's. Women always expect tall guys to be hung and that's part of my hesitation to get back out there. I can remember in high school we'd have the option to take communal showers after gym or after practice. I did it one time and never again. I would always skip the shower and just be the smelly guy for the rest of the day. Even when I had to get a physical to get cleared to play sports by the doctor, I remember her smirking a little bit. Growing up, I always had the mentality that I had a micropenis. Eventually I found out that because of my erect size I don't fall into the mirco category.  But nobody really sees your erect size, they always see your flaccid. Not to toot my own horn but I consider myself (and have been told numerously) that I'm a good looking guy. College educated.

On the outside, I seem to have it all going for me. But nothing could be further from the truth. Growing up I knew when girls were flirting with me. I knew when they were showing interest. Maybe I'd take them out once or twice, but I never pushed it further. Some of my friends have even called me out on being gay. Which isn't a bad thing, btw. People constantly ask me how I'm still single, or what's wrong with me. I usually respond jokingly like "you don't even know." Most of the time I'm pretty good at keeping myself busy to keep my mind off of things. I work a lot and on top of that I like to workout a lot and and hang out with my single friends. So usually it's not on my mind. But every now and then the loneliness does creep up on me. Usually it's when I see a couple out together having a good time. Sometimes I even despise the guys that I see out with beautiful women. Even though they've never done me any wrong. My confidence has never been high. Usually when my friends go out to the bars/clubbing to go troll for girls, they ask me to come along. I usually come up with some lame excuse involving work the next day even though I'm off that day. I feel like if I had a normal penis my confidence would be through the roof. Reading through the topics it's nice to see I'm not the only one with this problem. Anyways, thanks for listening.

[YOTH]

Glad you shared, sometimes you do just have to vent. I've had a similar experience myself, check my old post 'A short story' I think it's called, it's the same shit different wrapper. My flaccid cock can be almost non existent sometimes, especially if I'm cold, hot, stressed etc. I know guys have it worse size wise and it's quite possibly the shittest thing in life to have to deal with, but being small flaccid can leave you in the same boat as you never take a chance or see a relationship to the next level. I got lucky when I met my missus, she's very understanding and tactful and has never used my hang ups against me. I'm 5.5 but that's fully erect so who knows what I'm batting with on the night, just depends on how horny I am. But I know that 3rd wheel feeling all too well, people paring off while you're left with the slow witted girl who lost an eye playing Pogs when she was 12 so wears a Pikachu patch and keeps asking if you collect Pokémon even though you said no the first 5 times. And you're right, the gay thing shuts people up, if they a think you're gay, they don't pressure you to date girls. It's tricky, but love is the only answer, you have to find it or fall in it or something. Good luck, brother ☮?

[RonaldU]

You can read my story called 'feeling like a freak', it's pretty much the same as you regarding flaccid size shame and low self steem.

It's horrible sometimes...