YOTH Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 I had a lovely day out today with my son, nephew, mum and partner. For all intents and purposes it was great day. But as a bunch of lycra cyclists drove by, one of them said "It's getting chilly". It's the hottest day for months so it was clearly a joke, and I took it personally. Was it a joke about it being obviously hot with nothing to do with me? Didn't matter, in my head it was sly remark about my bulge. Funny thing was, I didn't really care to the point of being upset, but I found the thought process interesting. I felt like an SJW just waiting to be TRIGGERED. Did he just make a penis remark? He did? Then I'm totally justified in my misery, the world hates me, why do I bother!?! Waaaaah! So, as per usual I started fantasising about smashing him off his bike leaving him and his tight lycra pants full of holes, blood and gravel. Then backing over the cunt for good measure. It didn't even matter if he'd said it, I was just interested in observing how my mind trolls itself looking old hurts and new confirmations of how unfair life is. Just thought I'd share a bullshit stain on an otherwise lovely day. It didn't actually linger or negatively affect my mind long term, but I just thought I'd be honest and share it with yuz. ☮ Obsolete 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obsolete Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 Reminds me of when I was so self conscious that whenever I walked past some girls and they started laughing I immediately thought they were laughing at me, even if they were far out I'm in the distance laughing at whatever. I still catch myself doing that sometimes. It used to mess with me so much that I started to cross the road whenever a group of girls were walking my direction. The worst would be them crossing the road just after I'd just crossed the road to avoid them. That's no way to live. I don't cross the road for anyone any longer. I watch as other people cross the road instead. Only they know why. ?♂️ Griz and YOTH 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griz Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 That's pretty interesting. And it's so true with a thought pattern. To change the mindset is a tough thing to do. I've had to try and change my mind in how I think. Some days I can let things slide while other days the same thing will upset me and I take things in an entirely different context. My mindset has changed a bit since my split with my ex wife. I don't try and let things I can't control bother me. It's worked for the most part, but it took a long time for me to get to how I think today. But even still, I do get back some days about my size issue. YOTH 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griz Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, Obsolete said: Reminds me of when I was so self conscious that whenever I walked past some girls and they started laughing I immediately thought they were laughing at me, even if they were far out I'm in the distance laughing at whatever. I still catch myself doing that sometimes. It used to mess with me so much that I started to cross the road whenever a group of girls were walking my direction. The worst would be them crossing the road just after I'd just crossed the road to avoid them. That's no way to live. I don't cross the road for anyone any longer. I watch as other people cross the road instead. Only they know why. ?♂️ Totally have been there too!! I would always think girls or any group of people were laughing, were laughing at me. If I was with my ex wife I would think people are laughing at me or asking "how did HE end up with her!!" All the time YOTH and Obsolete 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
u.r.what.u.is Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 If they were strangers, how would they even know about your size or your specific anxiety? I really can't imagine that remark being aimed at you. If someone just got out of a pool with swim trunks flat against their crotch, then I would expect to possibly hear that remark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YOTH Posted June 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 @u.r.what.u.is That's my point I think, it doesn't even have to be an actual insult. Half the time I just assume people are funny and quick witted, most people aren't, but that's the mind I deal with from time to time. Griz 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
u.r.what.u.is Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 I get you now. It's just what goes through your mind. YOTH and Griz 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.