Nightwatch Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) deleted.................. Edited December 13, 2011 by Nightwatch smallstar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted January 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted January 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 13, 2010 Report Share Posted May 13, 2010 And..... I'm curious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 , not good.... what's changed in those 4 months? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 I don't mean to intrude I screwed up too lately and it messed me all up... luckily I'm being very productive at work because of a short deadline so that it helping me not think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 We all have our thing. I'm a smart person, have a good job, good kids, good house, but I can't figure out how to love myself. I talk about it here, to invisible strangers, but in real life I put on a face and pretend. I guess we all do, but lately I'm having a hard time with it. Moods aren't very stable and I come off agressive sometimes - I said a nasty thing to my daughter and really hurt her feelings. I hate it when I do that I'm <edgy> and I don't like it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) ................ Edited May 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 I texted her and apologized, and we are speaking, although she is very cold with me... some lines you should not transgress, even if she was being impatient. It was one of those things you think in your head but should never say to a human being, especially not your kid, it's so harmful... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) ........... Edited May 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) Hi Smallstar, I got really tired and needed to go to bed.... I know you were trying to be supportive . She'll forgive me, we love each other. I just don't like my own anger lately, so I can understand when you say you are angry with yourself and feeling frustrated by that....I want to tell you not to get discouraged about overcoming your addiction, if that is what you want. I have lived a few years and seen many people overcome all types of addictions, heroin, coke, pot, alcohol, cigarettes - long time users too, like 20-30-40 years. And I know some other people who still smoke pot regularly bafter 40 years and are fine with that too. I quit smoking last year after 40 years of addiction, body just would not let me do it anymore. I had agonized over it for 20 years, tried to stop countless times and hated myself for not being able to, and then it just happened...I think anger and frustration with yourself may be counterproductive in your efforts. That just makes me run to my addictions personally. Perhaps you can cultivate an attitude of loving and healing yourself, a gentler approach may make it easier... what do you think? Edited May 14, 2010 by Symora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) I"m sorry to hear that... What are your plans for the weekend, are you going to do anything to try to make yourself feel a little better? Here the sun is finally starting to shine and the flowers are out ... in Canada spring is truly a beautiful thing, and a warm shinning sun sure is good for morale! Edited May 14, 2010 by Symora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 I did actually have a good day. I work for a national museum and we have been in major renovations for 6 years. The grand-reopening celebrations are next week and a colleage and I are organizing the hundreds of volunteers who will be helping out during the 3 days. Lots of work, but also very exciting and joyful.... Just goes to show that when I have less time to think, things can feel a lot better ... I have this <thinking too much problem> ...Are you enjoying your new job? Shopping ... I have mixed feelings about shopping New stuff is always fun, but if I don't find what I'm looking for I can get a little irritable... I have to been in the mood... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 Coworkers can indeed be a challenge... Is there anyone there that you like? It usually makes it a little easier if you can find at least one person to connect with... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 Indeed ... being miserable is not a good option Now I see my work as a way to get me out there, be with people, socialize a little, since otherwise I'm not terribly social. Keeps me in the stream of things, and for that I appreciate my job... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 15, 2010 Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 I think it's OK to be whatever way you want to be. I find that with too little social contact I start getting down... you're lucky if it does'nt do that to you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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