CBT reframing

[rosequartz]

Can anyone help me to re develop the CBT I had, when I have effectively dismissed and disjointed myself on each learning episode as rubbish and only good for foolish people who believe all they hear, when the real truth of life is nothing like what CBT teaches. I know those CBT teachings are still within my somewhere but in the day to day life, they no longer work. If I see someone and they make me feel cold, it is not because I am assuming, it is because spiritually they are cold as just one example.

How can anyone be positive about life when all hell has broke loose around them and life is anything but good.

How can people not critisize when they have standards that many people try and infridge upon.

As for being responsible, when you can barely get through the day, how can anyone be responsible.

Would love to hear others views if you have had CBT

Just some of the things CBT taught me, that I have dismissed as rubbish in my older years. The worst one of all was making people feel that they had to be independant, we are not all made of the strong stuff and some of us need surrogate parents to help us for example.

Am I just not connected to my own qualities, as one therapist put it, or am I going mad.

[Guest SomethingOrOther]

Hi rose,

I didn't have CBT, but I suppose the CBT-way to do it would be to make a list of the reasons why CBT is rubbish and then evaluate the accuracy of your arguments. :eek:

I don't think CBT is necessarily about making you feel good about your life, it's in my opinion a method to give you a more realistic view. It's a means to change things, not a substitute for change.

[rosequartz]

Hi, thanks for responding, I was beginning to think that no one here wanted my contributions. CBT may be a method of making changes I guess, but it has left me confused and I am negative about it. To evaluate CBT would not always work in the main, as I can see both sides of the story.

[IrmaJean]

Hello, Rose. There are many different methods of therapy. The key is finding which works best for you. I didn't specifically have CBT though this was a part of my therapy. I have found it to be useful, though more useful to me personally after having come to understand the deeper reasons behind my thoughts and behaviors. That is what works best for me. I agree that it isn't all about creating a positive view, but more giving different views a chance. Challenging your beliefs. Have you tried other kinds of therapy?

[rosequartz]

HI Irma

Yes I have tried many kinds of therapy, but what I really need is how to live in the world in a practical sense, ie get on with people, and do good things for myself which I do try and do. But also find some interest in anything would help. I suffer with depression and it does not go away, no matter what I do, living with my daughter has helped me, but now she is wanting her independance and is hardly at home ,so I find I am getting depressed a lot again.

I guess CBT is good for young people stuck in certain things, but the older we get the more realistic we want to be and it does not work then. Getting on with therpaists I find hard as I find that most try and trick you and not help you realistically, that is so aggravating.

[malign]

Rose,

I think it's a fundamental misconception to think that CBT isn't "realistic" and depressed thinking is. CBT is meant to counter your own negative self-talk. It's not meant to make you falsely positive, just not as completely negative as one tends to get, when depressed.

So, for instance, if your original thought is "Nothing ever goes right for me," the counter-thought isn't "Everything is going to go right for me"; it's "Some things go right for me." It would be hard to see that last thought as unrealistic.

Perhaps it would help you to select one or two of your own thoughts, as examples of how CBT has failed you.

[rosequartz]

Hi Malingn

CBT has failed me in the past, thinking about being positive has failed me too, the question is how to discern with common sense what you should be positive about and what you should be cautious or negative about. For instance my child banged her head as a baby falling down the stairs.

I foolishy was positive and said to myself she will be OK, but I did not discern that I should not have done that and should have taken her to hospital, she had a bump the size of an egg on her. My mother said I shoud have took her, but I was being positive. Is just one example.

It's like people are brainwashed by CBT when all they really need to learn is common sense.

[Guest SomethingOrOther]

Yes, but CBT isn't about believing that nothing bad is ever going to happen, it's about figuring out which bad things are likely to happen and which aren't, and how much you know about it at all.

What happened, when you didn't go to hospital?

[rosequartz]

I think that when I had CBT I went into a false world and that's why I was affected so much. CBT is very dangerous and should be given only to the right people, not everyone. At the very least it should be expained properly, I just had the feeling that I had been brainwashed and I reckon I had been. Some psychologists out there are just not to be trusted. I have found it necessary to undo all of the teachings she gave me and the only way I could do that was to remember what I used to be like, and that has been hard, I still do not know if I am in myself but for years I felt that I was no one. And now, I am finding that the person I used to be is no longer acceptable in this world, so I must change again I feel as I do not get on with many people at all really, they always find something to pick on me for, and short of loosing my temper I find I must deal with them in a professional manner and have no idea on how to do that, so I struggle with it daily.

I never took my daughter into hospital then, but years later I took her to the doctor and told the doctor she was in an early puberty at 6 years old. The doctor asked me if she had a knock to the head, I then realised I should have taken her to the hospital when it happened. I still think of it, and how I failed my daughter, that's not the only way either.

[Guest SomethingOrOther]

Well, I won't argue against the existence of incompetent therapists.

It might have been a good idea to go to a hospital to have things checked. But you're daughter already had the knock on the head, so would the doctors have done anything helpful there? Was that a later development they could have foreseen and prevented?