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suicidal thoughts-for no actual reason


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Guest ASchwartz

Rubies,

I am joining everyone else in expressing worry and even alarm that you are deeting your posts and for no reason that we can understand except that you must feel very troubled.

Can you tell us how you are doing?

Allan

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Hi Rubies you have been in my thoughts as well. I am sorry to hear it takes so much money that you have to give up groceries for a week to see a doctor. Is there any way to negotiate that with the dr?

I've been facing suicidal thoughts too even as my life conditions got better, but they are not as intense since getting on medication that works better to allow me to step back and see what my real problems are vs. the disproportionately intense feelings I have.

I think I've said this before but your English is impeccable and I would never guess you are not from the US if you didn't say otherwise. Have you ever thought about tutoring or giving English lessons to make a little extra money? That might be too much stress to deal with given the episodes you've gone through so listen to your own intuition. Hope it gets better soon.

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The happy thing is that there's still a bit of me who doesn't want to die and is able to seek help.

Im very happy to hear that also and I hope that voice can grow bigger. Im sorry you dont feel like your getting the help you need. I dont know if taking any medication was working out for you but it may be worth trying again for a short time if your feeling really out of balance. I know starting school again can be very overwhelming and I hope you have supportive people to you there aswell.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Rubies,

Have you seen the psychologist and are you still on medications from the psychiatrist?

You said there are no reasons for your depression but my guess is that there are reasons but you are not aware of them. Please keep us posted. When you report feeling suicidal and stop writing it scares us, most certainly me.

Ralp, how are you?

Allan

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Rubies,

I agree with finding my way about it's being good that you are here again.

Trouble is that you keep on deleting your posts. I am confused about why you feel a need to do that?

Van you try to explain so I can better understand?

Allan

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  • 1 month later...

Hi rubies glad you are still around. :(

You can choose to give up S/I but it's like giving up any bad habit it won't come easy. I'm finding that trying to quit my own bad habits.

Deciding why you want to change and understanding the benefits as well as the costs of both doing and not doing the S/I can clarify what is the obstacle for you to choosing other behaviors. It sounds like you've already identified that S/I no longer works to give you relief and the bad effects are becoming more severe.

You've also identified the need, that is to have some sort of a substitute for feeling tenderness and feeling that someone cares for you. If you can get these needs fulfilled do you think you would still self injure?

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Guest ASchwartz

Rubies,

I am also pleased to see that you are still around here.

Please try not to be too embarassed by the cuts to not get stitches. You are in danger of infection and even worse. The hospitals are well aware of the problem because of the many people who, unfortunately do this.

When you feel like self harm, do you have any strategies to help you feel better?

Allan

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((((((Hugs)))))))))

I believe you are not American, but if you were in US I would say make friends with gay men. They won't sexually harass you for obvious reasons but are quite liberal with hugs. This could be different in your country but I'm guessing there must be some subset of society that brings together those who hug often.

I think it's a personality style thing - some people are more cuddly than others. It's not right or wrong, but one way among many of giving and receiving affection. As humans are social creatures, we need to connect in some way. Just my opinion though.

I'm not sure if this will work but I will try to attach a picture of kittens hugging.

white-and-red-kitten-hugging.jpg

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks Rubies.

I have similar experience with not knowing what to say to people or simply having other things on my mind than most are willing to talk about. I am trying to find people that will have similar things to talk about so we can get along. I really want to be the type of person who can talk to anyone, like in the elevator or while driving, that type of thing. However I am usually deep inside my head and have a hard time following other people. I guess it is something that takes practice.

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  • 6 months later...

Hello, rubies. :) I always have plenty of spare hugs to offer. {{{{{rubies}}}}}

I'm sorry that you've been struggling. :(

I'm not allowed to love' date=' I'm not allowed to think that I'm loveable.[/quote']

Can you think of any reason why some part of you feels this way?

Would it help to hold something tightly in your hand rather than use the noose?

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Hi Rubies! :)

Congratulations for following us over to the new site! I am not quite used to it yet, and miss things that are going on sometimes.

I'm so sorry you are suffering right now :(

One of the most valuable things I have learned in therapy is the difference between thoughts and feelings. You really hit on it when you said,

But it's just some explanation which I tried to create. The feeling just comes without explaining itself.

That's exactly it! We have feelings. Sometimes they are tough to accept or to understand, so our thoughts come up with their version of what's going on, and that is the birth of a negative dynamic that puts a wedge between ourself and ourself.

If we can loosen up our belief in our negative thoughts, just see them for what they are, an attempt to make sense of things when really feelings are just what they are, and sometimes we need to just let them be feelings without letting our thoughts bully us about having them.

Rubies many of us can relate to struggling with negative thoughts that take over. I hope something is easier for you today ! (((( hugs ))))

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  • 1 year later...

Hello Everyone!

I'm curious if some of you can relate to what I'm experiencing now. I feel like I'm vanishing. I feel like I'm being erased, I can't find the self I think I was in the past. I have difficulties with talking because I don't have much thoughts and ideas. In the past I was told that I can write well and now I hardly can write my assignments. In the meantime I was diagnosed with hebephrenia, is this a tipical sysmptom? Does anyone else know this feeling?

I also experience this on an other level because it disturbs me so much. Today I felt like human like figures were encircling me and I felt that they are responsible for my vanished parts. I feel like there were a part in me which is responsible for my self-harming behaviour and also for this horrible feeling which resembles to being robbed. I don't think of it as an other person but I think of it as something other than me sometimes. Can you relate to this?

Have a nice day!

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