Personal Bill of Rights

[WinterSky]

Perhaps y'all have seen this. It's something I learned but had forgotten and thought I'd share:

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
   
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I cannot meet.
   
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
   
4. I have the right to change my mind.
   
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
   
6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
   
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
   
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
   
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behaviors, actions, feelings, or problems.
   
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
    
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
    
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
    
13. I have the right to feel scared and say, "I'm afraid."
    
14. I have the right to say, "I don't know."
    
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
    
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
    
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
    
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
    
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
    
20. I have the right to be in a nonabusive environment.
    
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
    
22. I have the right to change and grow.
    
23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
    
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
    
25. I have the right to be happy.
    

[WinterSky]

Has anyone heard of Charles Whitfield's book, "Healing The Child Within"? I am not sure if these bill of rights from the previous post come from this book, but this book also has a bill of rights. You can view it from google here. This I also find useful and it has 35 bill of rights.

[silentmist]

Is there a Personal Bill of Responsibilities?

[WinterSky]

Is there a Personal Bill of Responsibilities?

I don't know of one myself. To me, the Personal Bill of Rights is about being human, being assertive, establishing boundaries, and being responsible for ourselves. Why do you feel the need for a Personal Bill of Responsibilities?

Edited November 30, 2008 by WinterSky

[kaudio]

Whenever I encounter a discussion of rights, I am reminded that the distinction of the individual entails the distinction of the collective. Thus, when people possess rights that define the abstract boundaries between individuals and states, the question of how those rights interact with one's community and neighbours must also be answered. Rights also try to describe the bare minimum values that a group of people have established, but the bare minimum does not properly define what it means to be human in society.for ordinary men and women – like us.

So, when a Personal Bill of Rights is fleshed out, I think what I mentioned above is part of the reason why there exists a need to think about a Personal Bill of Responsibilities. The Personal Bill of Rights also alludes to other people, touching on the awareness that the personal is tied with the collective.

Thanks for sharing, Winter. This list is pretty thought provoking.

Edited November 30, 2008 by kaudio

[silentmist]

Hey Winter and kaudio

I'm glad you used the word assertive winter, thats what I was thiking about when i asked about responsibilities. I was thinking of the 'I'm OK, your OK' scenario. I think it was #3 that got my interest

• 
  
  I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
  
  

I think that this one requires some kind of 'ps' note to it like 'as long as it's done with respect' or something like that.

I strongly feel that we do have responsibilities towards others and that rights can only be realised within a culture of responsibility which is what kaudio's post was about.

[IamLove]

Universal principles are summed up by the "golden rule", whatever your rights are they must apply to all. A large portion of society however demands these types of rights but ignore the reciprocal part.... The list of rights brings a quote to mind "To thine own self be true", living true to one's own life concept would require these affirmations. Dr. Phil had a book called "Self Matters" that applied these principles....... Thanks for sharing, it is nice to be reminded of our "responsibilities" to be true to ourselves.....

[Lisa11]

I am not sure if these bill of rights from the previous post come from this book, but this book also has a bill of rights. You can view it from google here. This I also find useful and it has 35 bill of rights.

Lisa11

[finding my way]

Hi Lisa, I've seen your posts on other threads. Welcome to our community. Can you tell us a little more about yourself and what you are going through? Are you seeing a therapist yourself? It sounds like a family member has been going through rough times. How are you doing with it all?

[silentmist]

Why is this thread a 'sticky' one ?

[hell2breakfast]

A few observations:

I think it was Mao who said "rights come out the barrel of a gun" and "there is no such thing as rights, only abilities" I think there is some truth to this, in spite of the tendancy of humans to sugar coat it.

The nature of life is a struggle for existance "right to life, etc." But inevitably, the competition between people leads to some winning and some losing...Example; If I were a "winner" I would not be on this board in the first place. However, I think that we humans would be much happier in the struggle if the pressure of competition (population) were not so great, and if our leaders who are supposed to referee it all were not so preoccupied with winning their own game at the expense of the other players.

Also I think it is important to note that people have different definitions of rights, even within the context of the law/religion. With the "winners" having a different or double standard when it comes to whats fair. Example, a "winner" may justify his mansion by saying he "earned" it on a level playing field as if the field were really level (no such thing) and as if the guy digging the ditch didn't "earn" anything.

It is this discrepancy in the definition of "right" that causes most of the problems IMO Example; in America, practically everyone has their own definition of "rights".....We also have the highest incidence of mental illness in the world, while the rate is much lower in societies that, for whatever reason, have a more or less common view of "right". be it a strict religious interpretation like Islam or a tyranical secular view like China.

Finally there is this..Does a child have a "right" to loving parents? If not then there is really (just as Mao said) no such thing as rights. imho

[Symora]

H2B, what you say is based on a model of winners and losers. But there is also the model of collaboration, which I think it is the model of the future. I heard this fantastic speaker the other night, Jeremy Rifkin, talk about the fact at the very core we are in fact programmed for empathy. His book is called the Empathic Civilization, I think it might interest you.

[hell2breakfast]

H2B, what you say is based on a model of winners and losers. But there is also the model of collaboration, which I think it is the model of the future. I heard this fantastic speaker the other night, Jeremy Rifkin, talk about the fact at the very core we are in fact programmed for empathy. His book is called the Empathic Civilization, I think it might interest you.

You better hope (for the sake of coming generations) that collaboration will be the future of mankind, so far I only see "big Brother" collaborating on how to best profit from the masses (new world order, etc.)

I was unable to find any biographical data on Rifkin, I suspect from the little I could find he is a first born or second born with an older sister, of upper-middle class parents. He is undoubtably brilliant, charasmatic, and driven judging from the number of books he has written and his practically oracle status among the political, if not necessarily the academic, elite.

He does seem to be one of the few who recognize the almost unimaginable changes that technology has, and is bringing to mankind (for good and ill) and brings a message of hope for mankind. My problem with that message is it fails utterly in addressing what I feel is the most important question of all, namely who..or what, will raise the children of the future and will that be reflected in those future leaders BEING more empathetic.

Also, though he sees certain technologies as dangerous, he none the less offers thecnology itself as the salvation of mankind, by changing the way they think and making them more empathetic. Where have I heard this "new age" and "spiritual consciousness" stuff before...The flower children?? Not that those kids of the sixties were malevolent in any way. Indeed their hearts were in the right place, its was their common sense that was misplaced, and we as a society are still looking for it. JMO

Now as for the " winner and loser" model, this is Gods (Natures) decree, not something I cooked up or "discovered" it is at the very foundation of all creation, therefore it encompasses everything else, love, hate, and even sympathy and EMPATHY. So I don't agree with his theory that empathy is at the core of human existance...I probably would if I was subjected to his chasmatic presence face to face, just as anyone listening to hitler was swept away (not saying he is hitler) but from what I have read, I'm not buying the whole hog...maybe just a pork chop, till I look around the farm a little more:cool:

And thanks for the info, I will be looking into this further as time permits as it is right down my ally:)

[Confusedaily]

I never seen these befor. If if known them 19 20 would have stuck. Thank you for posting them :-)

[TheSpotlessPane]

Regardless of whether or not future generations are doomed, or whether or not human beings are naturally more exploitative than cooperative, or whether or not general morality is a social construct, I'm too drained to feel any sense or responsibility for all that. I just want to be happy. And anything that might help me to acheive that achingly difficult goal is something I'm trying to feel grateful to have encountered. I'll leave the rest to the academics, and those who are emotionally stable enough to keep from collapsing under the weight of the deeper questions. I'm not trying to change the world, here, just myself. Seems like a humble enough goal...who'da thunk it'd be so ****ing difficult?

[TooOld4This]

TSP, i sympathize with your thought.  I'd love to be part of the solution to the world's problems, but i don't have enough power for that.

I would settle for just some self-esteem and happiness at this point.