Jump to content


- - - - -

Here's my story, life with a small penis.


  • Please log in to reply
62 replies to this topic

#1 Frank

Frank

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 102 posts

Posted 07 September 2012 - 05:02 AM

Hi,

My 5 1/2" penis has totally destroyed my life.  I'm in my early thirties and have only had two relationships and the occasional encounter with a prostitute.. No wife, no ex-wives, no children, nothing. I first realized that I was inadequate around  age 12-13..and, of course, this inadequacy made me fear intimacy with women. I grew up in a neighborhood full of girls, most of whom  tried to sleep with me at one time or another--- but I always managed to slip away. And while my friends were out  discovering  girls and enjoying their youth, I was all alone in my room smoking pot and watching television. Sure, I'd occasionally meet up with my friends...but when the conversation  turned to women, or when a social situation arose in which girls were involved, I'd always get out of there. At the age of 14 an overly-aggressive chick pursued me until I gave in. Several months into the relationship she tried to put it on me and I could'nt perform out of fear (I was scared to take my pants off!). Needless to say---end of relationship. So, I turn 16 and discover 20 dollar prostitutes..and then at the age of 18 another aggressive female entered my life. She pursued me (or, shall I say, stalked me) until I gave in and we had a relationship. So, she pretty much pushes me into intimacy--- and the sex was horriblel--sorta like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. But, she claimed that she was in love....wanted to have my baby and get married. Sooooooo--being young and  dumb (and totally in love)--I impregnate her..and then she aborts the baby a month later and starts sleeping with someone else. So I start smoking crack. Sure, I understood the dangers but honestly didnt care. I felt hopeless.  I embark on a crime spree and crack binge that lasted several years. Eventually,  my life-style caught up with me and I was sentenced to 6 years in prison. So, I go to prison and sober up, join Narcotics Anonymous, see a psychologist, lift weights, practice meditation daily for several years and I'm at the top of my game! Felt great! And then I get out of prison and reality smacks me in the face. And here I sit--a socially mal-adjusted un-employed loser with no viable job-skills nor previous employment history..and scared to death of women. The pain is becoming unbearable. Simply seeing an attractive women or bumping into an old friend  out with his children or girl-friend is enough to send me into paralyzing bouts of depression. It's very sad. I'm a very attractive guy (or at least thats what the chicks have always told me). The thoughts of what could have been ....and the memories of all the chicks whom have tried to seduce me in the past are killing me.On a positive note, I hav'nt relapsed on crack cocaine..but then sometimes I wonder if there's really any point in staying sober. I mean, if I can't have a wife or children of self-esteem or any of the other things that normal men have...whats the point? But I'm going to stay sober for a little while longer and see if I can turn this thing around... it all seems so hopeless though.  Anyways,  I figured I'd come here and talk to you guys. As with my addiction, just being able to talk about this issue with someone whom can relate makes it a little better. Thanks.

#2 lifeless existence

lifeless existence

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 390 posts

Posted 07 September 2012 - 06:11 PM

Welcome to the forum. I'm in my mid-30s and also socially bankrupt and unemployed after being out of circulation for a while. I wasn't in prison but I completely gave up on everything for many years and now I too lack job skills and employment history. My penis is just slightly smaller than yours. I didn't realize that I was inadequate until later in my life. I knew that I was smaller but I didn't think it was that small and I definitely didn't think it was inadequate. I was aware that the women I had been with didn't make a sound or show any signs of enjoying sex with me and that worried me greatly (not to mention they all dumped me). But I still didn't think my size was all that bad. Then I started hearing and reading things women were saying about size and sexual enjoyment and that's when the true reality of the situation hit me. I know there are some women for whom size isn't a major factor in their enjoyment of sex and we're fortunate to have a couple of them posting here, but judging from what I've seen, heard, and read, these women are few and far between.

I know exactly what you mean about seeing women and especially couples in public. It hurts so much to see what you can't have. It's unbearable for me too.

#3 Jessie

Jessie

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 1,280 posts

Posted 07 September 2012 - 11:06 PM

thoroughly,
So sad to read your post.

I should tell you that I am way smaller than you and have had 4 proper relationships and have just returned from a date with someone that will hopefully end up as a 5th.

LE is right in that women that really don't care are a minority but if you are patient enough they are out there- we have 2 currently posting on this site.

If you are able bodied and (from what you say) attractive then you tick a whole bunch of boxes. Keep at it.

I got 2 numbers in a single night at speed dating. Have you a friend that could go with you?

ps 5.5 is only 0.5 under the average. Hell- I would pay a lot of money to be that length.

pps if you don't mind me asking - whats your girth?

#4 Frank

Frank

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 102 posts

Posted 08 September 2012 - 02:27 AM

Thanks for the replies. Sucks being us, huh?

Jessie:  My girth is what's killing me..hav'nt really measured it fully erect, but it's pretty bad. I've got one of those dreaded "pencil dicks", lol.

And I'm not really interested in "speed dating". Naaah, picking up the ladies would'nt be a problem....the problem is finding that minority of women whom don't care about size. Right now I'm not sure if I could endure the rejection that such an undertaking would require----might have to bang 50 chicks before you find the one whom does'nt care! I'm not ruling anything out though--but first I need to focus on regaining some mental and emotional stability so that I don't commit suicide, lol. Yeah, this whole deal of being a thirty-something with a small penis--and being sober!--is an entirely new ball-game for me. I mean, from age 20-26 I really did'nt care because I stayed high on crack and banged prostitutes. And, of course, it didn't matter while I was prison ---but now I'm not sure about what to do with myself. It's also really tough for me because those years of smoking crack created other problems. Sure, I'm "attractive", but I have a criminal record as long as my leg, I wear a partial denture due to the loss of 4 teeth, and I can't even get a job at McDonalds! And what really sucks is that I was approved for a "PELL" grant and had intended to to go to school but never registered because I need to find a part-time job first. So, anyways, school has started without me and now I'm in this jobless limbo and living with my mom---pretty pathetic.

On another note, I recently posted a craigslist ad in which I told the enitire truth, and---believe it or not---I received several replies!  I just laid it all out there---the good, the bad, the ugly. Of course none of these ladies are beauty queens but at least I know that I might not have to die alone. Yeah, I may have to go the ugly-chick route.....It's okay though, they need love too.


Note: just realized that my username is misspelled, lol.

#5 Cece.dedesl

Cece.dedesl

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 325 posts

Posted 08 September 2012 - 04:58 AM

I personally think you have a lot to be proud of. Kicking addiction is tough, you paid your dues to society, you're taking care of your health, you are looking for ways to improve your situation. Big kudos! It's so much easier to focus on our negatives, sometimes you have to embrace and build on the positives.

I was one of those horrible cliches... I got pregnant shortly after I got married. My career was at an all time high but after my daughter was born, my husband and I decided I would stay home and raise our child. I stayed home with her for 14 years, husband left me for a younger woman and BAM! Here I was, no income, single, and worse yet I had a teenage daughter to care for as well.

I tried everything to find a job. Like you, I tried grants for schooling but I always hit an obstacle. Finally, I decided to start my own business. You would be amazed how easy this is now. I took a little hobby of mine, granted it started slow, but I'm now making more than enough to make ends meet. Think about things you can do. Even if it's mowing lawns and parlay that into your own business. Your past won't matter to an employer because you will be your own boss.

I had to start from scratch in my forties with a child. You just have to get creative. Find something, anything, build a foothold and pull yourselves up.

As far as the penis issues, all I can say is there are women out there who don't care. I'm one.... You won't ever find an accepting partner unless you try. If you're having luck on Craigslist, go for it however, I personally don't feel you should have to settle with just anyone just because you feel your penis is too small. May as well swing for the fences. You only live once.

#6 Frank

Frank

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 102 posts

Posted 08 September 2012 - 07:11 AM

Yeah, thanks for the advice. Sure, I'd like to start my own business...but I can't even afford a coca-cola right now!  Seriously though, I need a job, preferably part-time or second shift so that I can go to school by day. Yeah, the PELL grant is pretty much locked-in (I applied as soon as I was released and got the final reply several weeks later)--all I had to do was enroll and I would've started school last month! I need the job first though because I'm on probation and owe like 5 grand in restitution for one of my crimes . Plus I need the cash to provide my own groceries, clothes, etc.

As for your statement:"May as well swing for the fences. You only live once." Well, since you wanna get philosophical....

I'm an agnostic zen buddhist...... and realizing the impermanance of life (and everything else), and understanding the shortness and preciousness of human life are just a couple of things that we do. I try to live in the present,  and to do my best while leaving the rest to the universe ....and I try to do what I do without focusing or becoming attached to any particular results/outcome. This worked well for awhile, and continues to work in some areas of my life even today.  And also I believe (and it's pretty much true) that all things are products of a vast web of interconnected causes and conditions...and that many of the things that make up our lives are outside of our control. For example, no one chooses their race, gender, appearance,  or their sexual orientation (in some cases, at least)....and none of us gets to choose the family, neighborhood, country, culture, religion, or socio-economic class into which we are born (and, obviously, no one gets to choose the size of their wanker, either!). No, we just kinda pop upon the scene, know what I mean? Good, bad, ugly, fat, short--we're dealt our hand and have to choose how to play it. But anyways, what I'm getting at is that on the one hand I understand that this (my life, my circumstances) is simply my "path". There is no other way for me.  It's the life that I inherited (as this is the wanker that I've inherited!) and the role that I've got to play, like it or not. So there's really nothing to be sad about or no need to make myself un-neccessarily miserable because, as you pointed out, "life is short". And ya know, the fact that there's even such a thing called "life"-- and that we're living it-- is absolutely amazing if you set back and look at it for what it is. In the absolute sense, my situation is neither "good" or "bad"...it just "is".  I realize that wanting what you dont have and having what you dont want is usually what's at the root of our problems..and attaching ourselves to impermanent things is also another source of our troubles. Intellectually all of this sounds great and embracing this view of life---along with the meditation---has  truly transformed my life in so many ways.

However, in spite of this liberating view of life that I have---my life still sucks, lol! I mean, being a grown man who's hung like a 10 year old is a complicated situation, to say the least. And then add to this the fact that I've had women hitting on me for most of my life------it's much worse! It's driving me nuts! These feelings of insecurity just re-surfaced after I was released from prison. I thought that I was over it..thought that I had progressed and was ready to accept it and make the best of it. And this has me worried  because I feel like I've done all that I can do to get over it already, but I'm still having issues...makes me fear that this will haunt me (and be a major handicap) for the rest of my life!

But anyways, sorry for preaching and babbling...just wanted to let people know where I'm coming from. Btw, I do reccomend meditation to everyone as it really helps when it comes to dealing with different thoughts and emotions. Won't make your wanker grow, but it can help ya deal with it a little better.

#7 Cece.dedesl

Cece.dedesl

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 325 posts

Posted 08 September 2012 - 07:38 AM

I love your attitude. I agree with a so many things you've said. If you want to get philosophical, life is what you make of it. So many of us make mountains out of mole hills. We become focused on the obstacles instead of the solutions.

We hate ourselves over things we can not change and refuse to recognize what we can change. Hopelessness is a state of mind, not a reality. We can always improve, we can always grow as human beings. If life throws you lemons, make lemonade. A little cliche, but it worked for me.

Do you think I had any money before started my business? I was desolate. I couldn't even feed my daughter. I'm sure, as intelligent as you are, you can think of something that won't cost a lot to get started.

#8 Jessie

Jessie

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 1,280 posts

Posted 08 September 2012 - 02:06 PM

I say measure your girth because you may think its a pencil but may get a pleasant surprise if you do measure.

The ave for a white guy is 4.7-5.3.

Porn can effect the way you perceive things- like anorexia.

Craiiglist- great to hear you got results but be careful- these may be strangers trying to rip you off.

I think your attitude is sound- go for chicks that may be less fickle - try and build some successes.

#9 Frank

Frank

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 102 posts

Posted 08 September 2012 - 08:24 PM

Yeah, I'm careful with the craigslist thing. After weeding through the 70-100 invitations to porn websites and other spam , I've determined that at least three of them are real for sure because I've been chatting with them often in yahoo messenger.....I was in prison with one of these girl's cousin!  And then one of these ladies want's to me at a coffee shop to chat in person...but she's like 44,  married, and her husband is currently deployed to Afghanistan!, Lol, so I'm pronaly going to leave that one alone, lol. Yeah, I've made it perfectly clear that I'm an un-employed loser, so they know that there's nothing to gain from me.

I've also received a good many replies from women offering encouragement.  The title of my ad is something like "Local Loser seeking loser chick", and apparently it caught the eye of alot of women, lol. I tried to inject a little humor into the situation.

Btw Jessie, I'm definitely not in the average range when it comes to girth. Quite a few women have told me that I have a skinny pecker. During those crack years I befriended and received oral from a good many prostitutes. And, naturally, I'd ask them things like, "Is my penis the smallest you've ever been with", etc., and the general consensus was that I have a pencil-dic. Also, the girl who aborted my baby once told me :"You'd be fine if you were just a little bit thicker".  I'll measure it anyways though...I'm curious now.

#10 Jessie

Jessie

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 1,280 posts

Posted 09 September 2012 - 11:54 AM

You'd be fine if you were just a little bit thicker"..... jeez I have had 2 long term girlfriends say similar things-- they had no idea it was like a knife in my heart.

ok you probably are thin- but best measure anyway so you know where you stand for sure.

#11 Cece.dedesl

Cece.dedesl

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 325 posts

Posted 09 September 2012 - 09:36 PM

Guys, I've said this before... Women just want to be satisfied in bed. There is more than one way to do this. You're narrowing your thought processes by thinking you can't satisfy a partner because of your penis size.

You may have to put forth more effort but honestly, men with average or above average penises still lose girlfriends due to lack of sexual satisfaction. So even if you had an average to above average penis it's not the size, it's the overall experience that counts.

#12 Frank

Frank

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 102 posts

Posted 10 September 2012 - 02:15 AM

Yeah, cece , I'm screwed in the experience department too, but thanks for the info.

Jesse: I hav'nt measured yet, but I have question for you (and everyone else).

I seem to have different types of erections. I think that part of my problem here is some sort of blood flow issue or something. For example, sometimes I can be really, really  aroused and feel fully erect, but it's a really skinny erection, but then another time it's much, much thicker, yet I'll be at the same level of arousal with both of the erections...just one's thicker and the other is'nt.

Also, is this common: I can sometimes have an erection and if I'm standing up, the erection is really, really skinny..but then if I sit down and sorta push the erection forward, it's a much, much thicker erection, head is bigger and everything...much wider..but then  I can stand back up and it's back to super skinnyville.  Normal?

#13 Notdoneyet

Notdoneyet

    Member

  • Members
  • 134 posts

Posted 24 September 2012 - 04:24 PM

If you know you are smaller than average, the very last thing you want to do is ask if you're the smallest a girl ever experienced.
Focus on using whatever you have and let her worry about whether she's getting what she wants.
There's not a damned thing you can do to change it, (in spite of reports to the contrary in regards to exercises) so concentrate
on making things as good as you can for YOU.
If, after your efforts, she complains you're too small, tell her to wrap some meat around it.

#14 Frank

Frank

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 102 posts

Posted 24 September 2012 - 05:50 PM

So if im interpreting you correctly, basically what your saying is that since I'm stuck with what I have, I should simply go out and shamelessly enjoy myself without concern for what the ladies think about it? Lol, I like your attitude , and I've thought about taking this approach before. I mean, considering the fact that we'll all be dead in a few decades, ultimately it doesn't really matter when ya think about it, huh?

But there's still some problems-----the lack of confidence creates performance anxiety issues. I mean, during previous encounters it was like throwing a hot-dog down a hall-way, which causes performance issues like loss of erection, etc....and then when I look at a chick and just know for sure she's not enjoying it, that also throws me off...and then when I'm finished and know that she hasn't enjoyed it at all, thats a pretty crappy feeling too. And then when she doesn't want to see me anymore thereafter, that sucks too...and then when she tells her friends, that sucks too!

I'd have to cultivate a dont-give-a-sh__  frame of mind to pull that off. Maybe it's something worth trying....

But hey, your suggestion probaly beats the other option--i,e, wallowing in self-pity and maybe killing ourselves, lol. Thanks man.


P.S ...probaly getting the surgery within the next 6 months, lol, so I still have a small sliver of hope....

#15 Notdoneyet

Notdoneyet

    Member

  • Members
  • 134 posts

Posted 25 September 2012 - 01:03 AM

 thouroghlyunhappy, on 24 September 2012 - 05:50 PM, said:

So if im interpreting you correctly, basically what your saying is that since I'm stuck with what I have, I should simply go out and shamelessly enjoy myself without concern for what the ladies think about it? Lol, I like your attitude , and I've thought about taking this approach before. I mean, considering the fact that we'll all be dead in a few decades, ultimately it doesn't really matter when ya think about it, huh?

But there's still some problems-----the lack of confidence creates performance anxiety issues. I mean, during previous encounters it was like throwing a hot-dog down a hall-way, which causes performance issues like loss of erection, etc....and then when I look at a chick and just know for sure she's not enjoying it, that also throws me off...and then when I'm finished and know that she hasn't enjoyed it at all, thats a pretty crappy feeling too. And then when she doesn't want to see me anymore thereafter, that sucks too...and then when she tells her friends, that sucks too!

I'd have to cultivate a dont-give-a-sh__  frame of mind to pull that off. Maybe it's something worth trying....

But hey, your suggestion probaly beats the other option--i,e, wallowing in self-pity and maybe killing ourselves, lol. Thanks man.


P.S ...probaly getting the surgery within the next 6 months, lol, so I still have a small sliver of hope....
Well you did grasp the gist of my suggestion. Let me clue you into the fact that since I split with my ex, I have had numerous ladies
pursue me for long term relationships in spite of my sharing this "deformity" with others on this board. Even after informing them I wasn't looking long term.
What I'm trying to suggest is that this issue isn't insurmountable if both parties offer to cope with it.
IN any event, what works for you may well be the risky surgery. I, myself would never consider it.
Good luck

#16 Thermonuclear Warrior

Thermonuclear Warrior

    Member

  • Members
  • 144 posts

Posted 25 September 2012 - 04:11 AM

Dude, you are as average as can be in terms of length and even slightly above average according to most statistics. The 'social' average is 6 inches but that's not accurate. Don't go through with the surgery. I am about 5.1 inches in length and my thickest girth is at 4.72. I am at the very bottom of the average and most people would consider me small. However, I'm starting to like Notdoneyet's advice. He just doesn't give a shit...and keeps preaching his methods to us and none of us seem to listen.

We're all just meat slabs and in the grand scheme, we're just a fraction of a second on the cosmic scale. I have a similar penis to you and it's honestly ruined my life as well. The anxiety and lack of confidence  are major reasons why I have not progressed as I should have academically, socially, and physically. However, I know there are millions upon millions of people just like us that don't even have these mental issues.

Also, say we were average, in length and width. Do you think that our lives would dramatically improve based on the fact that our penises are longer/wider by a FRACTION of an inch? LIke if I went from 5.1 inches to 5.5 inches, I wonder if I'd even notice? Or if i went from 4.7 to 4.9 around, would I even notice? THe only difference would be peace of mind knowing that I am average. However, being so slightly under average just like you, I am really starting to put this stuff behind me. This is why I haven't even posted on this forum in so long. I've begun to get over this issue and if there is hope for me, there's hope for the rest of you. Any woman that can't be with a man because of his slightly under average penis is a whore and shoudl be sterlized. If i ever hear a nasty remark or I get rejected for being fractions of an inch below average, I won't take offense and I'll probably laugh about it because the reality of the fact is that I got rejected for being fractions of an inch of satisfactory.

#17 Frank

Frank

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 102 posts

Posted 25 September 2012 - 01:10 PM

 Thermonuclear Warrior, on 25 September 2012 - 04:11 AM, said:


begun to get over this issue and if there is hope for me, there's hope for the rest of you. Any woman that can't be with a man because of his slightly under average penis is a whore and shoudl be sterlized. If i ever hear a nasty remark or I get rejected for being fractions of an inch below average, I won't take offense and I'll probably laugh about it because the reality of the fact is that I got rejected for being fractions of an inch of satisfactory.

Glad your getting over it. However, calling a woman a " whore" because she desires something big enough to feel isn't fair. Women desire (and deserve) sexual gratification just as men do, and most relationships are doomed for failure if the couple isn't sexually compatible---either it will end in break-up or she'll find someone on the side who can do what you can't...thats just life.

#18 skynight

skynight

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 765 posts

Posted 25 September 2012 - 01:25 PM

 thouroghlyunhappy, on 25 September 2012 - 01:10 PM, said:

Glad your getting over it. However, calling a woman a " whore" because she desires something big enough to feel isn't fair. Women desire (and deserve) sexual gratification just as men do, and most relationships are doomed for failure if the couple isn't sexually compatible---either it will end in break-up or she'll find someone on the side who can do what you can't...thats just life.
.
Indeed.

The women I have a problem with are the bitches that laugh and mock a guy because of a small penis. If a woman is mature about it and simply desires a large penis then that's her choice and I don't have a problem with that.

#19 Thermonuclear Warrior

Thermonuclear Warrior

    Member

  • Members
  • 144 posts

Posted 26 September 2012 - 12:42 AM

What I stated was a bit of a dramatization. In a more civil sense, a woman that rejects you for having a normal/slightly below average sized penis is not worth dealing with If a woman desires a large penis, then she has mental issues of her own. A woman should in theory be capable of being satisfied by the average sized penis, correct? So if you are 1/2 inch or 1/5 of an inch off from the average, you shouldn't have to worry either. A woman that has this type of desire has mental issues of her own and is extremely superficial.  Women who claim they need a 7 inch penis are limiting their pool of people to a very small percentage of the population. So regardless, the average size will always prevail because the majority of women are not going to reject a man for his average or slightly below average penile length or width.

#20 lifeless existence

lifeless existence

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 390 posts

Posted 26 September 2012 - 03:16 AM

I think a lot of women who reject below average men have been so conditioned to believe that a below average penis is not big enough to provide adequate stimulation, that it then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which only serves to reinforce the conditioning and cement their beliefs. There's also the fact that a below average penis doesn't provide much mental stimulation, which puts us at an even greater disadvantage. We already have two strikes against us before penetration even begins.

I agree with what you said in another thread, Thermonuclear Warrior. This is mostly a result of our incredibly screwed up society. I'd be willing to bet that if it were possible to pair us up with women who hadn't been exposed to all this bullshit, most of them would find sex with us to be satisfactory. Unfortunately, such women don't exist. The cave-dwellers are long gone.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users