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Remind me?


Luna-

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Joy. What's that...? :(

It was nice to be in the company of my daughter, I love her very much. The restaurant was ok. I did some sewing on her machine the day she had to go back to work, with some fabric she had bought me, and made a quilt top. I was exhausted after the long sleepless overnight trip home and it took a few nights to get back to normal. But I am back down again, the only good time is when I can go to sleep and just escape it all. Thank heavens that comes around once a day. Tomorrow term starts again and I feel nervous about it. Being so alone is bad for me but I dread going out. I have to go and buy food today, it seems like a mountain. and I can't seem to pull myself together. Getting out of bed is such a hurdle. I know that is pathetic, And then I get depressed about that.

I'm sorry I don't have better news. :(

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Thanks for replying, finding.

I have to wait, probably 2-3 weeks to see if the med will help. If not, I'll phone her and let her know as I am on a low dose. But I have to wait it out first. I saw my therapist 3 days ago. He keeps me going with his compassionate little pep talks, when I feel as I do.

I have never seen that kind of braiding. The Japanese are SO good with art and craft, there always seems to be something new from them. Although it is probably the case that these things are traditional and we just haven't heard of them before.

My daughter gave me a Moleskine notebook. I have decided to draw and paint in it. I have done two pages so far. I have bought so many art materials over the years that have been little used. So now I will use them.

But always, just behind me, is the worry about not having work and what will happen to me as I get old. The shadow of the future on the present. It is really the umbrella worry.

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I'm sorry I don't have better news.

I'm very glad you have got some good news :). For instance, it was nice to be in the company of your daughter, you have done some fine activities you usually don't do, you came home safely, ...

Drawing in the Moleskine notebook reminds me that last year, one bookstore (the one we prefer the most ;)) in our home city made a "competition/contest": People who have drawn something in their Moleskine notebook (they sell those in their bookstore) could take a photo of it and send it and then the best 3 pictures were chosen and the authors won a new Moleskine notebook. (That bookstore sometimes does such "contests", mainly for amateurs photographs.) It was interesting to view all those photos of pictures... I'd like to see yours :o ...

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Wow, that is a beautiful picture, IJ, thanks. I think I will include this as a picture to copy.

That sounds like a great competition, Lala. And you are right, all those positive things are true... OK, I will show you a few things, just don't think they are Art, ok?

I am really just playing with my art materials. I can't paint or draw, but when we were small we didn't let that stop us. So I am not letting it stop me now. I am enjoying being back in play-school. Oh dear, these pictures have turned out so big!

Gel pens, fineliner felt tips, and coloured pencils:

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Coloured pencils:

003_zps901fdcc7.jpg

Pastels:

004_zps9a6b99eb.jpg

I still have a child's watercolour set and acrylic paints to play with. and another set of smaller pastels, these ones here are large playschool size and very stubby.

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Wow! Thank you for sharing!! :)

One doesn't need to "know paint or draw in the classical sense" and still can make beautiful things. I mostly apreaciate your colour choices which always give the image a special ... how to call it in English?? "Vibration", enegry?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Kind of you to ask, Lala. I am still not out of this depression, but I am slogging along, taking it day by day. My new AD was doubled a couple of days ago, so I am hoping to squeeze a bit of help from that. I have lost interest in the course I am studying, but I am still doing it, going to at least finish first year. I did well enough in the June exam to be able to afford to do less well in Nov and still pass. My outlook on life is still pretty dismal and I can't seem to get enthusiastic about anything.

But I guess I am OK. Not thinking about ending it all anymore.

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  • 5 months later...

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