dvnJ22 Posted July 15, 2013 Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 I was on another forum and the topic was "meditation". I was trying to bring out how in many cultures mediation can also mean "concretion" or "contemplation". So rather emptying the mind, some traditions say fill it. And that all traditions and forms are equal. Well this posters didn't like it and said I was "stereotypical, narrow minded, and cultural prejudice" I left becuase I didn't want a fight and I already stated my position. I know its stupid but it hurt and I keep obessing over it. I didn't say anything offensive or mean about other cultures and I didn't say anything against him either. I admit I wasn't able to put forth a clear argument, but I have dyslexia and have a hard time communicated wheter writing or talking. One of the reasons I go on there was to improve my communication skills. I'm afraid maybe he's right and I'm unintelligent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLa Posted July 15, 2013 Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 Hello, dvnJ22,I don't know much about cross-cultural contexts of mediation, but what you wrote here makes sense to me. Yes, the word itself has different meanings and who knows, maybe some of the "procedures" are different from what we know as meditation. So, I can't tell you "the facts" (but those can be searched out on the web - if you feel like doing it ), but I can tell you that there's no reason to call you "stereotypical, narrow minded" of say you have "cultural prejudices". What's more important; there's no reason to pay so much attention to people who are rude to you and don't want to understand your point, mainly if it's on-line and so you don't depend on them in any way. Some people are very judgmental, but it's up to us to have appropriate "shields", like an appropriate self-esteem and self-image, to be able to face them without being very hurt. Of course, it's not pleasant to be criticized, but obsessing about it... Is this what you're in fact looking for help with? BTW; I wouldn't guess you have dyslexia - your writing and expressing seems fine in this post! dvnJ22 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted July 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 Yeah I need help with obessing over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted July 15, 2013 Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 I still get set off and hurt by things I read online from time to time. We're all human and it happens. It helps me to focus on myself and what I need during this time. I can only control my part of the interactions and I can only control my responses. How can you take care of you, dvn? It seems like you took the first step by coming here to express yourself. How are you feeling now? dvnJ22 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted July 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 I'm a little feeling better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted July 15, 2013 Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 One thought is that this person basically fulfilled his own description, especially the "narrow-minded" part.You know what your behavior was, dvn, and you know what his was. I know there's a part of many of us that wants to make unpleasant interactions be our fault. For one thing, it offers us the illusion of control: if we caused something, then we can figure out how to prevent it in the future. Sadly, though, the result of any interaction between people isn't caused by any one of them, but by the whole group. Even if one of the people does something unusual, like start shouting, or embracing everyone, the group interaction will depend on the reactions of each participant.You chose to walk away rather than make an unpleasant situation even more unpleasant. So there's a positive aspect to your choice, though I know that some part of you may feel that it was negative, like running away from a fight. Of course, you get to choose how to judge the result. But even if you decide you would do something differently next time, it won't help anything to beat yourself up over the past. We often think it will, that yelling at ourselves over our mistakes will help prevent them from being repeated, but it's not really true. All it does is add insult to the injuries. LaLa and dvnJ22 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted July 15, 2013 Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 You could always compliment him on the amount of inner peace he has obtained with his method of meditating. :-) dvnJ22 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted July 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 I sent a pm apologizing instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted July 15, 2013 Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 That works too. :-)Be the person you want to be. Who the other guy wants you to be is his problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted July 18, 2013 Report Share Posted July 18, 2013 Well if someone online approaches and judges you or says something rude to you just laugh at them because they're shallow minded and don't know you so how can they accuse you for such a thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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