What happened?

[ThePetPerson]

At what point did this forum dwindle away to become a place for men to massage each other's ego in the SPS forum?

Even though SPS is a legitimate issue, I have very little respect for a lot of the people on here who post in the said forum as I have noticed they seem to value sex above anything. Most of them seem to be extremely vain and actually have very little respect for women, looking for very superficial women and throwing a lot of derogatory words around.

I'm sorry but this needed to be said. I am appalled. I find it offensive and it is genuinely disgusting.

[Jeep]

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[ThePetPerson]

I am not at all offended, Jeep.

Thank you for your insight. I do not intentionally go to the SPS forum, I simply click on the latest updates. I read these threads because I would like to be able to offer support and positivity and some of the posts are very genuine and earnest, I will sometimes offer my viewpoint.

It's just those that are so vulgar and misguided that make me question the SPS forum and whether it really belongs. I would hate to exclude anyone but I have seen so much disrespect in those threads for men and women alike, that I wonder if it is more harmful than helpful.

I won't go down the route of reporting posts, because I believe people should be able to express themselves as they see fit, but I also believe people should take responsibility for their words and also take responsibility for their lives.

To be a female offering support in the SPS forum you often get shot down with the common phrase "you don't understand". We may not have a penis, but any of us could have been on the receiving end of a "small penis" and if our insights aren't valued because of personal experiences with unaccepting women, then I have to put this down to close-mindedness.

Unfortunately, there are some very vulgar, disrespectful women out there, but two wrongs don't make a right.

No offence to you, or anyone, Jeep.

[malign]

One of the difficulties of reading such wide varieties of people's experiences on a site like this is that "misguided" pretty much covers the entire spectrum of mental health issues, as well as much of normal human behavior that's remarkable enough to be a topic of conversation. It's "misguided" for an anorexic woman to see a fat body in the mirror; it's "misguided" to believe that one's entire manhood resides in his penis. It's "misguided" to think that a drug is making your life better; it's "misguided" to think, as I did at one time, that suicide is a solution for anything.

The real issue is where this "misguidance" originated, what forces maintain it, and how to unravel all the contributing factors so that other choices can be tried. And it is "closed-mindedness" that keeps us trying our "misguided" patterns; we're convinced, by something which we're unwilling to question, that our current behavior is the best we can do.

The point about vulgarity is well taken, however. I have often given greater leeway within the SPS forum than elsewhere, because of the sexual nature of the ailment and because some guys use it to take the focus off their self-doubt. On the other hand, I often think that preconceptions of sex as power (particularly man over woman) and as more or less mechanical (the one with the biggest is the best) contributes as much to the problem as what people tell the guys directly. I would like to ask guys to try to discuss sex with at least a little restraint: if you can change "cock" into "penis", you can say "vagina" instead of "pussy". I can only imagine if I had used the word "cunt" in my father's presence, much less my mother's ... And I think the more vulgar words creep in precisely when the intention is to confuse a person with their sexual equipment; you might consider that the next time someone confuses you with your penis.

I also want to reiterate, because of the fights it has caused in the past, that I think the population of the SPS forum is very diverse: there are several, if not many, different underlying issues that express themselves in a fear of inadequate size. That means that what works for one may not for another, not because he's not trying or "doing it right", but because he's a different guy.

[humanmusicjukedbox(will)]

One of the difficulties of reading such wide varieties of people's experiences on a site like this is that "misguided" pretty much covers the entire spectrum of mental health issues, as well as much of normal human behavior that's remarkable enough to be a topic of conversation. It's "misguided" for an anorexic woman to see a fat body in the mirror; it's "misguided" to believe that one's entire manhood resides in his penis. It's "misguided" to think that a drug is making your life better; it's "misguided" to think, as I did at one time, that suicide is a solution for anything.

The real issue is where this "misguidance" originated, what forces maintain it, and how to unravel all the contributing factors so that other choices can be tried. And it is "closed-mindedness" that keeps us trying our "misguided" patterns; we're convinced, by something which we're unwilling to question, that our current behavior is the best we can do.

The point about vulgarity is well taken, however. I have often given greater leeway within the SPS forum than elsewhere, because of the sexual nature of the ailment and because some guys use it to take the focus off their self-doubt. On the other hand, I often think that preconceptions of sex as power (particularly man over woman) and as more or less mechanical (the one with the biggest is the best) contributes as much to the problem as what people tell the guys directly. I would like to ask guys to try to discuss sex with at least a little restraint: if you can change "cock" into "penis", you can say "vagina" instead of "pussy". I can only imagine if I had used the word "cunt" in my father's presence, much less my mother's ... And I think the more vulgar words creep in precisely when the intention is to confuse a person with their sexual equipment; you might consider that the next time someone confuses you with your penis.

I also want to reiterate, because of the fights it has caused in the past, that I think the population of the SPS forum is very diverse: there are several, if not many, different underlying issues that express themselves in a fear of inadequate size. That means that what works for one may not for another, not because he's not trying or "doing it right", but because he's a different guy.

But only another person and or someone of the sex will understand what they are talking about