devils daughter Posted January 5, 2014 Report Share Posted January 5, 2014 Here’s a good (I think) reference to something I alluded to in another thread. I’m guilty, too. But if we can come to an understanding of what is going on, then maybe we have a chance to make (and do) something better.http://www.relationalaggression.net/blog/what-is-relational-aggression/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 5, 2014 Report Share Posted January 5, 2014 Hi DD! Have you had a chance to look at attachment and it's impact on relating to others?I bring it up because that is what I thought of when I looked at your article. Bullying can be viewed as a situation where secure attachment didn't happen and the person is sort of going about their attachment needs backwards and negatively. This is what came up quickly in a search; I think it shows some of what I mean: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationshipDisregard if none of that is helpful to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devils daughter Posted January 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2014 . . .Bullying can be viewed as a situation where secure attachment didn't happen and the person is sort of going about their attachment needs backwards and negatively. . .Yes, 'finding', I do think that makes sense. For me, it also relates back to Dr. Kathy’s article on anger where she said that anger was an APPROACH emotion. Which, if one’s caretakers rejected the anger, then it can leave a person in a catch-22. Attachment needs aren’t being met => become enraged (because that’s what the toddler/child is capable of) => get rejected by caretaker => attachment needs aren’t being met.. Eventually a child can just reject herself and numb out the need for attachment and related needs. But the needs are still there, perhaps deep in unawareness. And still associated with the negative ways of trying to get those needs met. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 5, 2014 Report Share Posted January 5, 2014 What you are saying makes sense, DD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devils daughter Posted January 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 6, 2014 What you are saying makes sense, DD!Nice match and "back at me", finding. ;-) Thanks. And shows me what it feels like in a way I couldn't understand otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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