Does it really matter in the long run?

[Auptraum123]

I have a question for all fellow men on here: does it really matter?

That is, does it really matter how big your private organ is?

Which matters, that which is between your legs or that which is between your ears?

Too many men are indoctrinated by culture into believing that in order to be worthy human beings, then they must have large penises.

In reality, though, what really matters is what lays between the ears and not the legs.

I would say, that being a good person is more important than anything, it's even more important than trying to impress women.

I came to that realization years ago, and it eventually changed me, it changed the way I think about others. I never minded the fact that I have a small you know what because to be honest, it never really mattered to me. I realized that acquiring knowledge about the world and wanting to make the world a better place are far more important things than the size of the sexual organ.

So to men out there who are suffering from SPS, I tell you now, to not worry, for the end is not here. Too many people take relatively small events and then they blow them up to make it seem like the world is going to end. But, to take a quote from the book of Mathew, though I be not a believer, : "You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end."

So therefore, just because you were born a certain way by no means does that make you defective in any way. Rather, you should rejoice in you're being different and should instead strive to develop your knowledge and understanding of the world and in cultivating a kind personality. That is where true happiness lays.

True happiness lays between your ears, and not your legs.

[u.r.what.u.is]

What you say is true, but I feel bad for the guys who cannot (or think they can't) participate in a fulfilling love life. They have a libido, but don't have the body to match. I don't feel bad for guys who want an 8" penis, but for those who just want 5", I do have some understanding.

PS - I applaud your own conviction here.

[Victimorthecrime]

In "The Handbook to Higher Consciousness" Ken Keyes talks about the importance of "preferences over addictions". All it means is that it is ok to want things but it is not ok (for your well being) to become addicted to having those things rather than just preferring to have those things in your life, be they money, good looks, pleasure, recognition, or a large sex organ.

This concept has really helped me so I thought I would share it. That said there is a part of me that is a little selfish SOB that doesn't listen to reason, that measures time by how a body sways.

[spitfire101]

First of all, I don’t suffer from SPS, I suffer from a SP. Just clear that up. Anyway, yes in a perfect world what sits between yours ears matters a great deal more than what is between your legs. But the world is far from perfect. As it stands in nature the biggest horns, brightest feathers, puffiest chest, most colorful and many other superficial things gets the job done to spread the gene. I am a big believer in the examples nature sets and the fact is that the only natural thing humans have to "puff" up is between out legs and if that is not big enough then we get passed over. Nature always wins for a reason and to fight nature is a loosing battle every time. I read a lot, take in knowledge, am a good person who goes out of his way to make other smile and always does the right thing even if it hurts. But my member is so small I cannot even wear a condom, that is a real mood killer and since they don’t make brain condoms I have spent a long road giving up. Hey, if something worked for you to make you happy then good for you and use it well.

[IrmaJean]

I read a lot, take in knowledge, am a good person who goes out of his way to make other smile...

This is all wonderful.

If you want to look at adaption, in the animal kingdom physical appearance might be the main draw to attraction, but humans are much more complex. The mind and heart can be the most attractive features of a person, and each individual might appreciate and value different aspects. If you feel your energy and gifts from within, others will see this too. We can only be ourselves...

Edited April 17, 2014 by IrmaJean
wording

[Wastedlife]

Yes it does matter very much, and its proven that man with bigger penises have more partners, happier sex lives and are a lot happier in general. Its all nice to pretend that everyone is created equality and we all have the same opportunity’s but that’s just not the reality of this life. Some people just get extremely shafted by nature/genetics and have to suffer more then most...(ie: being born Ugly, disfigured, mental challenged, having small penis...etc) and if you believe these people have same chance at happy life then people who were blessed with good genetics then you are delusional beyond hope.

Also if you are trying to make up for the fact that you have small penis by "being nice to people"...then good for you but i want to inform you that just because someone has large penis hes not automatically out the wreck the world...in fact i would bet my life on it that average man with large penis is allot nicer then most man with small penises, since they are happy and fulfilled while most man with small dicks are bitter and angry (I go in this category).

[Jessie]

I hate to agree with Wasted sentiments there but Im afraid that tends to be true in my experience.

[Wastedlife]

Regardless of size, what I've noticed with a lot of men on here, is that many of you seem to have this idea that you can't be happy unless you're having some type of sexual contact/realationship. Many great men throughout history were celibate, didn't even masturbate. Sex is constantly promoted in society in everything. Sex is very overrated, and you can get as much sex as you want yet still be miserable.

If you want to be happy, regardless of how big your penis is, then you need to understand that there's more to life then just getting a woman, being attractive to women or just sex. These things are overrated and over promoted.

Very good advice for someone who is asexual(not me)...and many of those "great man" you are talking about were in fact very depressed loners with bored line personality disorders and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Only happy sexual relationships and success in all other areas of life lead to as much happiness as can be had in this life. Not locking yourself away from women and collecting stamps or whatever other way you chose to kill time...(which man with small penises are forced to do by default...)

[Wastedlife]

Many of them weren't depressed or had anything wrong with them. Actually, by not constantly masturbating they used their sexual energy for meaningful purposes rather then just waste time constantly chasing women their whole lives. This whole idea that a man needs to be constantly out chasing for sex, chasing women, is just something that's been conditioned into men. Men now base their whole self-esteem on if they can get a woman and if they can't they get depressed. Just because someone doesn't buy into this nonsense doesn't mean they have a personality disorder.

I think you are constantly confusing chasing women/sex with need for relationship...they are connected but very different.

And since you are so concerned about these “great man” who were really happy. You must know the quote: "behind every great man is a great women”. You cant change nature.

[Jessie]

My ex therapist told me to reduce the importance I put on sexual relationships.

Its important to change ones outlook and expectations.

People with terrible disfigurements or disability ARE more LIKELY to be depressed- studies have shown that - but its not INEVITABLE.

Some people can be happy when celibate or alone.

My grand parents were happy when single for decades for sure- had rich lives before they died.

I think the idea is to be happy in oneself and to be self sufficient and content without love.

That makes you more attractive anyway.

Then if you find love its a bonus, but if you dont.. well you are self sufficient anyway.

I know I am the world greatest hypocrite and find it difficult to believe what I am typing! but at least I know the theory.

The sadness of being alone and feeling like I have been cheated by life does make one bitter of course… but meh… we all gotta try I suppose…

[Wastedlife]

Well I mean I love to be part of this great talking point you guys present and I hope it works out for you...If you can have small penis, be alone but somehow fulfilled in life by doing things that don’t involve sex or relationships then more power to you. I really wish you all the best.

But for me only time I’m really happy is when I’m having sex with a girl I like, and I know if I had a girl that I love and loves me back (this must include good sex)my motivation in life to achieve things would be 1000% higher then it is now. I will never find a girl that i'm attracted to that will accept this small penis and that's were it all ends. Talking and wishful thinking is meaningless in my world because i see what i see and base my conclusions of facts not make believe.

[Auptraum123]

True, but is that how our species operates? In other words, are we humans limited to the ideal of existence for the sole purpose of spreading our genes? What if spreading our genes is not the sole purpose of life? Just because the rest of nature does it doesn't mean we should, by counter analogy.

[dvnJ22]

It's a problem because I won't be able to be married or have kids, which was a major goal in my life. Sex in marriage, and relationships are important too. So I don't want to hear that argument.

If it was just sex with random women I'd agree with you, but that's not what I'm talking about.

So I will be alone, and celibate forever. Psychologically sex in a committed relationship are important for most humans. Of course some romantic relationship do not have a sexual aspect, and I would be open such a thing, the main thing is love between a man, and a woman. I can't have that, where in the world am I going to find a woman that's ok with a bad sex life? Or no sex life? We are talking about needles in a haystack as the solution.

[spitfire101]

True, but is that how our species operates? In other words, are we humans limited to the ideal of existence for the sole purpose of spreading our genes? What if spreading our genes is not the sole purpose of life? Just because the rest of nature does it doesn't mean we should, by counter analogy.

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

We are apart of nature, not above or below it, just another species in the tree and species that cannot spread their genes die. We are different from the rest of nature but not by much. Finding someone to love, having children, seeing those children grow and have children of their own is what makes life worth living. That is a big part of what the rest of nature cannot experience in an emotional way and something that I will never experience. All I ever wanted was a big family of my own after a childhood of never having one. Not all of my problems are because of my SP but it is not helping. So does it really matter in the long run? For some, no. For everything I once wanted to accomplish in my life most it certainly does matter.

[spitfire101]

First off, if society really did make us a slave to raising our children 18 years then my life would have turned out a hell of a lot better, because any parent can simply be a coward and take off for the hills like a bitch. It’s not that hard to simply be stick around and be there for your children and it forces people(most people) to grow the hell up and stop being selfish. Yes, divorce happens, but not if you know how to handle it and don’t rush into anything. Most people get divorce when they can’t handle the little things and toss their hands in the air screaming freakout without trying to work through the problems. As it stands right now I am more caged than I would be with a family, I want to go out and enjoy things but just not alone. I don’t have any friends because I don’t know how to relate to them anymore, cannot even go outside anymore without getting depressed about how much I have and will miss out on. The "perfect family" is a fantasy, nothing is perfect, but a simple family is not a fantasy and not having one my whole life is far more of a cage than not having one even in the bad times.

[gone]

First off, if society really did make us a slave to raising our children 18 years then my life would have turned out a hell of a lot better, because any parent can simply be a coward and take off for the hills like a bitch. It’s not that hard to simply be stick around and be there for your children and it forces people(most people) to grow the hell up and stop being selfish. Yes, divorce happens, but not if you know how to handle it and don’t rush into anything. Most people get divorce when they can’t handle the little things and toss their hands in the air screaming freakout without trying to work through the problems. As it stands right now I am more caged than I would be with a family, I want to go out and enjoy things but just not alone. I don’t have any friends because I don’t know how to relate to them anymore, cannot even go outside anymore without getting depressed about how much I have and will miss out on. The "perfect family" is a fantasy, nothing is perfect, but a simple family is not a fantasy and not having one my whole life is far more of a cage than not having one even in the bad times.

Gotta agree. My wife and kids are the best things that ever happened to me. Most single guys I know aren't happy being single. (and it makes me uncomfortable to admit it, but the two happy single guys I know are well endowed and want nothing more than to sleep with as many young ladies as they can. Sex is their reason to keep going.)

Yes, it's damn hard to devote 18 years of your life sticking around and raising your kids, but a lot of men do it. And it shows more strength than a pussy that steps out for a pack of cigarettes and never comes back.

[gone]

I wasn't suggesting having kids and bailing on them either. Just this whole idea that you're missing out on not having kids. You can see it that way if you want, I don't.

I wasn't targeting this at you. You've been consistent in your criticism of marriage and stating don't have kids, but I've read nothing where you've said "Just walk out".

I happen to agree with you on one particular point. Some folks just aren't interested in being parents. (or getting married) I've heard men and women say they're just not having kids and I always admire and respect them for that. Isn't that so much better than pretending to be something you're not and then being miserable the rest of your life?

They're strong enough to state up front they aren't interested, and ultimately some poor kids aren't abused, ignored or abandoned.

Win-Win.

I will however stand by my one statement. I know 4 or 5 guys who for various reasons aren't married and are miserable. No, I don't think they are brain washed by society into pining for a sense of normalcy. They just naturally want a one on one relationship with a woman.

[Jessie]

i was very happy when I was with my 1st GF.

I was the proudest and happiest guy on Earth- I really think I was.

I was also happy with my other GFs (though secretly increasingly worried they were unhappy with my size).

Alas they all left me.

I am so lonely and miserable. Though I should get out more and do hobbies- thats my fault.

But I loved being in a relationship- the sex, intimacy, cuddles, cooking for and begin cooked for, mutual friends, sharing lazy time together.

Instead I'm deeply unhappy.

ps I would never have my own kids for ethical reasons but would happily adopt.

Despite my current insanity I think I would be a good dad. My sis has said that many times.

[Auptraum123]

I agree with this completely. Men are always portrayed as sex-obsessed, to the point where it's not necessarily true. I don't think that a "real man" exists in reality. I think the concept of a "real man" is just a social construct. It's an inherently vague concept, one that lays out of reach for virtually all men, since no one can truly ever attain its status. Men should not be worshipping women. They're not worthy of being worshipped. I didn't mean that to sound misogynistic, but it's true. Women are just human beings and thus members of an animal species just like men are. I don't want to cause any to be offended by what I am about to say, but I mostly have contempt for men who feel that they have to serve their girlfriends or just women in general because they want to please them or something. I don't hate women at all, I just think that wanting to please them is unnecessary, just like wanting to please men is unnecessary. Men are not female sexual organ worshippers, that's ludicrous.

[dvnJ22]

I agree with this completely. Men are always portrayed as sex-obsessed, to the point where it's not necessarily true. I don't think that a "real man" exists in reality. I think the concept of a "real man" is just a social construct. It's an inherently vague concept, one that lays out of reach for virtually all men, since no one can truly ever attain its status. Men should not be worshipping women. They're not worthy of being worshipped. I didn't mean that to sound misogynistic, but it's true. Women are just human beings and thus members of an animal species just like men are. I don't want to cause any to be offended by what I am about to say, but I mostly have contempt for men who feel that they have to serve their girlfriends or just women in general because they want to please them or something. I don't hate women at all, I just think that wanting to please them is unnecessary, just like wanting to please men is unnecessary. Men are not female sexual organ worshippers, that's ludicrous.

This I can agree with.

“On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.”

― Michel de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

[ShameOnThem]

I want a relationship that I'm pleased and happy with her so I will never looking for another women beside her, and she pleased and happy with me that I'm the only men in her heart, in her eyes, in her life... and we will always together forever until we die...

Do you think it's possible to have this kind of love filled relationship with another person without first being able to love yourself? Don't you think it would suck for you if she didn't love herself? That's why it's important that we need to realize that a small penis doesn't limit our happiness, but our attitude towards our own bodies absolutely can and does. I'm not going to say something stupid like "it's all in your head,", because when we see the way we are treated in the media and in society it's obvious this is bigger than our self-hatred, but if we can win the battle in our head, all of life's other hurdles would become so easy to overcome.

[modestman]

[deleted as possibly inappropriate for the forum]

Edited November 11, 2014 by modestman