mts Posted November 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 22, 2014 Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 Not dumb questions, mts, and I would love to share. I enjoy sharing. I don't have as much time right now as I would like, but I'll give you a quick run down of how things have been and are for me.I'm sorry that your mom went through that. It must have been difficult for you to take in. I'm sorry that you didn't feel closer to her. I was the youngest of four children and the only girl. My eldest brother is severely autistic with a mental capacity of 28 months. He lived at home with us and remained home until my mom passed away from cancer at 58 years of age. I remember watching my parents struggle a lot and so I tried to cause them very little distress. I was very quiet and shy, anxious. I was tomboy-ish. I wanted to play with my brothers so I learned sports. I'm still a big sports fan because of this. I still feel odd in dresses and such, I don't wear makeup, but I feel very feminine on the inside. I enjoy expressing that part of myself. As a child, I saw my mom in emotional pain a lot and felt I couldn't help her or could only help by staying out of the way. Maybe why I feel I so strongly want to help others now? I think their plate was so full they couldn't possibly meet all of our needs, though they did their best. I tend to attach anxious insecure now as an adult and have some trouble with assertiveness and self-care, anxiety.I only dated (and have been intimate with) one man and we've been married almost a quarter of a century now. We have 3 terrific kids. Right now I am caring for my dad at home, which has proven to be one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I'm struggling now because I don't know if we can keep him home due to many complicated circumstances. It's hard juggling so much. I tend to be a strong feeling type of person so this has all been very hard.I have strong feelings and responses about objectification of either gender.Don't women become sad at their rather strict roles in life? The lack of variety? Isn't being in (romantic) love something to be sought after and repeated? And yet, many women marry just one person and that's it. I just can't understand it. What if we lived to 1000 years?I have so many roles.... Mom, wife, daughter, sister, caregiver, friend, employee, co-worker, employer to our home aides, accountant of finances, pet owner...I could go on. I enjoy romance, but I feel quite content with one marriage. I enjoy having close friendships, though, as well. I do enjoy fantasy too and have written romances and enjoy watching them too.okay, maybe not such a quick run down...I hope this helps some, mts. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 - Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 25, 2014 Report Share Posted November 25, 2014 Yes, having family helps a great deal and I am very grateful to have family. Now to work more on how to ask for what I need. :/ I'm sorry you miss your family. That must be so difficult. Friends can be a great comfort. Are you able to reach out when you need to?I agree that there comes a time when we have to face difficult stuff in order to find our way through. Hope you are okay today, mts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 25, 2014 Report Share Posted November 25, 2014 In a burning building, at some point you have to go through the fire.i'd rather just go in the fire (and stay there) rather than through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 25, 2014 Report Share Posted November 25, 2014 I don't feel able to reach out to my family. How does one explain to their little innocent little grandparents that they made themselves deformed?Been trying to figure this out for years.sorry mts.For me, running through the fire is the only way I'm ever going to escape the smoke and toxic fumes in here...i wish you the best of luck.Sorry res. My friend I hope things get better for you. Wish I had more time to write here.thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 I think eye contact can be difficult for many of us. I still have trouble just doing it naturally, which I think is key. It feels so intense that I often find myself looking away or sometimes I try too hard. I have made improvements, though. I think mostly through practice in therapy and at work. Maybe it helps us to just feel okay in our own skin? Easier said than done, I understand.Take care, mts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Beating myself up too much. Gotta stop beating myself up. Over everything.Ahhh that's better, one positive line out of 100 hateful comments to myself I'll take it.so who usually wins, you or yourself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Beating myself up too much. Gotta stop beating myself up. Over everything.Ahhh that's better, one positive line out of 100 hateful comments to myself I'll take it.In order to sell products people are encouraged to spend their lives pursuing a level of perfection that is not only unattainable it is non existent. We should all do our best to avoid that trap. mts and Resolute 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted November 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 - Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 A few more days and I'll have got back in contact with family and I can stop stressing so endlessly (hopefully)....All I Want is to have people in my life. Tired of being alone.It's been so helpful to post here and your replies everyone....thanks very much. Let's hope for a better future for us all.Good night.that's great news.i hope things work out.good night, and good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted December 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted December 3, 2014 Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 Most guys have regrets. I try not to think about mine but it takes a real effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted December 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted December 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted December 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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