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  1. Today
  2. Hello everybody! I know I haven’t been here in a while, but lately that fact of having a small penis has been effecting me so tremendously , I really don’t know where to turn to and thought maybe I can open up to u guys about it. Fuck man, it’s been hitting me so hard lately. I mean the fact that it’s 1 inch if not less when I’m completely soft is just unbelievable. And for it to be 4.5???? Damn man, how am i even supposed to live a normal life with this deformity?? Can date , hook up , or do anything other 20 something year olds do and take for granted. I wish god would have had a little more sympathy when creating me. Why would he curse anyone with a penis below 6”???? Just cruel man 🙁☹️😕😟😔I wish I could have at least been just 1 inch longer so I could be at the statisticly average size of 5.5 , which although it’s still pretty small , I think I would have felt a little more secure knowing I was at least in the “Average” according to medical terms 😟 i Damn man. This feeling kinda kills. Any advice or words of comfort ?????
  3. Yesterday
  4. Daveuk

    Not so busy week

    Monday 15th - Humankind 9am - sign onto compass shortly be moving Tuesday 16th - Routestowork 11am and signed on 4:15pm Wednesday 17th - stayed in and rested Thursday 18th - Probation 9:30am Life healing choices 7:30pm Friday 19th - Routestowork 10:30am and shopping, gas and electric
  5. Last week
  6. 1st attempt - Potatoes were too tough 2nd attempt - Too creamy and onions didt mix well Possible 3rd attempt is needed
  7. Hi, @spsdownandout, welcome to our forum! And sorry for letting your post without a reply for so long . I'm sorry you've been suffering so much and it even led you to having suicidal intentions . I'm not "a fellow sufferer" but I'd like to offer my point of view. I hope so very much you'll come and read it and will try to engage with new ways of thinking about things. I can only imagine how difficult it can be to open up to someone whose reaction you cannot predict . And I've read a post here of a member proving that SPS is an issue that not many health care professionals know about and some of them can sometimes react in an abhorrent way. Yet, it's certainly possible to find a psychotherapist who would be kind enough to you and able to behave in a way that your initial embarrassment wouldn't feel like humiliation. The feeling of humiliation can only be triggered by something someone else does or says, not just by your talking about your intimate issue. I see that you don't trust others, even therapists, enough to believe they would be able not to trigger the feeling of humiliation. But trying to trust (or searching for someone you'll start trusting after several sessions where you wouldn't mention your SPS) seems, at least to me, like a better option than to give up everything, give up hope. I know that when one starts feeling suicidal, it becomes harder to think life might once change for better . But your ultimate goal is to get rid of suffering, so you might as well try other ways first, before doing something "irreparable"; what do you think? Here I see that you imagine "the only possible improvement" as "learning to cope with loneliness" (= if you learned to cope with it, you wouldn't suffer as much anymore) and the only way to confront your issues as "putting yourself through the humiliation of rejection". I understand that from your current point of view, it may look that way. But there are many other things a good psychotherapy could "teach" you and there are women who wouldn't reject you. It seems evident that humiliation and rejection feel unbearable to you. Yet, they may be a normal, occasional part of life of most of us. It's obviously different for you and you naturally think that you couldn't get rid of this dreadful fear of them. Well, understanding and overcoming such fears can also be a part of therapy. You can learn to be less affected by rejection and, subsequently, also to be more courageous to put yourself in situations where you could either be rejected, or rewarded.I know it would be tremendously difficult, perhaps even impossible, to talk about SPS in a first therapeutic session, that's why my advise would be to spend several session talking about your other problems (without mentioning SPS) - as, for instance: and and your past (some of the fears are surely related to some childhood experiences, so it would be useful to analyse them anyway). Then, when you'll feel that you can trust the therapist and you'll feel at least a bit ready to reveal the biggest issue (I know also from my own experience that you can become ready to talk about things you had considered impossible to reveal!), you'll find a way to say it and work in a more focused way on getting better. Yes, some people can cope, some much better that our "typical" members (because they don't need a forum like this, we don't often hear from them). Everyone is more or less different, but also everyone can change to some extent. Have you ever thought why you consider the fear of humiliation and rejection as worse for you than killing yourself? There are reasons and if you discover them it therapy, you can work on changing and being even more brave than those you know admire. Good luck, take good care, and keep us posting!
  8. Daveuk

    Dear uncle Vic

    Dear uncle Vic. That is all. Just wanted to make this thread alive again.
  9. Just looking for fun and love with another small guy in London uk
  10. Beth it wouldn’t help and I wouldn’t know how. I have extreme social anxiety. I’m 32 and the textbook definition of failure. The only people I’d be comfortable around are other failures, and if that’s the glue of friendship I don’t see how it can provide anything but negative validation. I’m dead flesh that reacts to an electric prod. There is nothing inside to express. Anyone that has achieved any form of self actualization or success I envy and don’t like being around them because it’s just a negative affirmation.
  11. Uhh. Hey, have you found a solution? I have a similar size with you. Around 1.2 soft but i only have around 2.3-2.5 erect. So i wanted to know what i could do...
  12. I don't have an answer but I do know that ending your life is not it. I m over 50 years old now and never give up searching. Even with my wife cheating on me and wondering if my 2 children are mine or not, I never give up. I did thought of it but I always believe there are better solution. There will be someone who will love me for who I m and not how big is my dick size or bank account! And if it mean I have to be gay/trans/bi/whatever to be happy, I will take it. Bro, in case you didn't know, I m asian and even if I have a big dick, all asian male have to live with the small dick stereotype from non-aisan and even from our own women! So your life cannot be worst than mine. Bro, don't give up, keep on fighting and keep on searching... Regards
  13. I’ve spent the last 48hrs planning my suicide after at least 13 years of this issue plaguing my mind. I have no confidence to go to a face to face therapist or speak to my GP. Humiliation that I never invited in and never asked for. It’s some consolation that there are others out there, I’m not sure why I’m posting but here I am. It’s at least encouraging to see some of you manage to have some relationships. The only times I’ve managed to have sex are being black out drunk, and even then it’s been a rarity. Now heading into my 30s and I’m becoming weirder and weirder to my friends and family, having never been in a relationship yet outwardly a confident person. Friends are now pairing off and starting families as people do, and my bouts of depression are becoming more frequent and intense. For the first time I had to go home from work on Friday because I just sat at my desk with silent tears rolling down my face. For me that’s a sign this is now escalating. I’m not sure I’m okay with learning to cope with loneliness for the rest of my life, I don’t see the point. I cannot put myself through the humiliation of rejection (at least sober), some of you are very brave. If the choice I have ahead of me is either live a life of feeling like this for the next 30-40 years or ending it, I can’t help but think the latter is worth planning. What keeps you going?? - a sufferer.
  14. Earlier
  15. @Jktw mostly likely your school has a counseling center. Also call the customer service # on your health insurance card. Get names of psychiatrists & mental health centers & schedule an assessment. To me some of what you wrote sounds like something on the autism spectrum. Pursue it. Don't let it get the best of ya.
  16. Sounds like there are a fair amount of agencies and departments etc for people where you are. Not much like that here except for the very poor.
  17. Hello, @Jktw, welcome! Don't worry about the length of your posts - it's always good to vent as well as give the readers enough information! I hope you'll find here a welcoming environment that will help you to gain new insights and more forward, get some effective help! It has to be difficult to be "different", but it's not necessarily "a bad thing" - I hope you already realize that. It's challenging, but possible to find the positive sides of your "difference". I hope it'll help to know it's a known condition: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia Perhaps you could find articles that explain it (also with personal testimonials of fellow sufferers) and give / sent them to your family members. Also, such articles might give you some practical advice to cope better with the problem. I wish you to stop with this sleep-avoidance immediately. Lack of sleep (not enough sleep) is very damaging to the brain and triggers mental as well as physical illnesses. You're lucky so far that you're not insomniac, so take advantage of it and get as much sleep as you can! You need it to feel better and to face all the challenges and problems of everyday life!!! From what you describe, it seems plausible to me that you also suffer from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder In any case, it would be ideal to address all your issues with a good therapist. To start, you may talk to a psychologist / counsellor at your college. You deserve to get much better and live without all these anxieties and insecurities! It'll be probably a long journey to wellbeing, but it's worth it and the sooner you start, the better. Good luck and keep posting!
  18. Daveuk

    Very busy week

    12th - Friday probation at 9:30am and Routetowork at 2:00pm 11th - Thursday life healing choices at 7:30Pm 10th - Wednesday humankind at 3:00Pm 9th - Tuesday went out for a bit of shopping 8th - Monday Shopping and tea at drop in centre
  19. I’m honestly not quite certain how to start this, but I just discovered this site and think that I might be in need of just some advice right now. (Sorry in advance for the super long post) I’ve never been on this site before, but I’ve been on websites like this. They were just communities where you posted about something you needed help with and people could reply. Many of them weren’t very active with replies and just weren’t good for me, and one I was on when I was around 16 or 17 years old. When my parents found out that I made an account they were so upset with me and thought that what I was doing was dangerous, and I was so ashamed that I never went on again and deleted everything I had to do with it. Parts of me think that it really just propels some of my bad habits, but considering that I am now 20 and keep thinking about it and coming back I think it was helpful in someway. I don’t know what I need help with at this point or what exactly is going on with me, but I’m tired of being like this all the time. Everywhere I go I feel like I’m the weird one, no matter where it is. In my family I’m the one that’s kinda crazy cause I like different things, and even though I’m smart I’m the kind of person that doesn’t always get the joke or understand what your saying right away. I can’t stand the sound of bottles crinkling or people chewing, and every time I’m just told to stop making a big deal about it. In middle school I sat alone all year cause people were making rumors about me and I was too nervous to sit next to someone. In high school people thought I was mean because I didn’t talk to them, when in reality I was too scared to. In college I’m just outright invisible. I only have one person that I’m really truly friends with and we have been for a long time, but it took a good three years for any sort of interaction to actually happen at all. I’m just flat out scared and uncomfortable talking with people, and it’s gone on for so long in my life that it seems like a normal thing now but it sucks. I’m always so worried that I won’t make sense or will sound so ridiculous that I won’t even try to talk to anyone. I’ve always been the person that will sit in class for two hours with bad gum because I’m too scared to just stand up and throw it away (which is unfortunately a true story). Lately just everything puts me on edge, and I don’t know what to do about it anymore. Some days I’m fine and some days I actually wish that I could just burst into tears and cry. I don’t sleep anymore, not because I can’t but because I don’t want to. I don’t want to sleep cause when I wake up I have to deal with everything all over again. I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is anxiety or what, but I’m so tired of it. It’s been like this my whole life but I’m tired of being nervous and too afraid to just live my life with other people. Even now it’s 3:15 in the morning and even though I know that I need to sleep I just don’t want to. It feels like there’s a ball of tightness in my chest that just won’t go away. Super long explanations aside I just need advice. I can’t live like this forever, but I don’t know what to do about it.
  20. @GeomaHalfcolor it doesn't sound like your boss is mad at you, just was hoping you could work. That kind of situation as you described would give most people anxiety. The thing that helps me combat anxiety to some degree is taking action. When I am doing I feel better about things but when I sit and worry then it gets bad. Breaking things down into parts helps too. But not as much as being in action.
  21. Welcome to the community, GeomaHalfcolor. Anxiety can have an effect on so many areas of our lives. 🙁 Anxiety can make it difficult at timea to function in our society. I'm sorry for your distress. I recall one time I got confused about my work schedule. It happens. Maybe if you called your boss, you could cover a different shift to make up for the one you missed? It sounds like you are being hard on yourself. I hope you won't judge yourself harshly. Are you working with a therapist, Geoma? Take care of you.
  22. Hi, it's the first time I post here and I'm kinda scared but I got nothing to loose. Just for basic information, I have a social and general anxiety disorder. Yesterday, I was awoken by my phone. My boss was calling me to tell me that I was 45 minutes late. The thing is that I didn't even knew I was working that day. Like it wasn't an error on schedule or anything, I just didn't look well enough (god I'm so stupid). So I tell my boss about the situation and she ask me if I can work anyway and I said that I slept like 2 hours so I couldn't work (I was almost having a panic attack). So I don't remember what she said next but I had a panic attack right after I hung up. Now I feel like I'm the worst human being on the planet. I just wanna die in a hole. I feel like I'm a waste of oxygen. I've calmed down but I'm still really anxious (English is not my first language so don't juge me please).
  23. I haven't post here for quite long. Very busy with new projects and also forgot password... Just learnt how to recover. Anyway, I have not done anything yet. I was still deciding when the new project landed on my desk and have been working hard and putting aside that thought. However, I have done some experimenting after my last post, I started watching porn again. I find myself liking the tranny porn most, straight porn and lesbian porn 2nd, and totally not into male gay porn. But the weirdest thing is I don't understand why I like tranny porn but not gay porn. Both have penis but 1 gets me real hard, the other I find it... disgusting to tell the truth. I m more confused than ever...
  24. How does that work? Actually go through hormone treatment and surgery? "Most?" I've often thought I'm a submissive "male" lesbian.
  25. This is fascinating... I hope it helps a lot of people. Face-to-face support for those who feel life is no longer worth living: https://listeningplace.org.uk A movement against male suicide, the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK: https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/
  26. LaLa

    Is This POCD?

    Great! I hope you'll get a good specialist soon! I see; it's not a pleasant idea to be hospitalized . However, it might really help and, moreover, if they see you're not in immediate danger anymore, they'll let you home and you'll get an outpatient care, hopefully with the same specialist as in the hospital. Anyway; your life feels terrible now; hospital shouldn't be worse. Good luck!
  27. @Victimorthecrime I am in Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh City. My nationality is South Korean and Vietnamese.
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