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  1. Yesterday
  2. Life is a dangerous game. People do things against their will all the fucking time and some end up suicidal because of it. I just hope that doesn't happen to me. I am a strong person a stubborn person if you will, almost willing to further myself at any cost. My sex drive is also very high. This is why when it is dammed up I find irregular outlets. When I was in the United States(I left because I wasn't sure my visa would be renewed even though my employer had guaranteed to me that it would be) I was institutionalized because of many reasons. There was a guy at the institution who was really screwed up and thought he was Jesus. After taking medication for a few days he sobered down and admitted to us that he had cheated on his wife and that's where it all started. I am thankful I am not that screwed up. I have my own set of problems though. All my paranoia revolves around my cat who I love very much. I think if I do this she will come to harm. If I do that she will come to harm. I frequently hear my own inner voice quite profoundly in my head articulating thoughts that come from God knows where. I am on serious medication and I am much much better and functional but the daily suffering is too much and quite frankly sometimes I play dangerous games simply because I get bored with the tedium of ordinary life.
  3. Or am I too far gone for reasonable advice. I certainly hope not. I still feel a glimmer of hope and goodness inside but that's slowly being covered up by the cancer eating inside of me. I know I know I just need to find a girl. I just need to give vent to myself. But how in the world would i Do that. I did an autism test lately and I got told that Autism is possible with me. I got 24 score and 30 score was autism likely. I've always been a very screwed up individual. When I was little I used to think I have AIDS because AIDS was big news in the 90s. I used to bisect the distance between two light poles whenever I was riding in a car mentally with my vision compulsively so. Even today in my mid 30s if I have to go around a pillar I first go around one side and then around the other believing that my cat will come to harm if I do not do so. I used to chain smoke and do drugs when I was younger but now I am under psychiatric care. I want so much to be ok but how to do it. I've never been good at forming relationships. I've always liked a lot of women but I have always idealized them and never gotten too close. Wtf. How is this ever gonna change. I think I really am autistic because I do have a private vocabulary and a private world of my own for how I see things. My diagnosis is paranoid schizophrenia but there may be elements of autism. That's what I think. Any help welcome.
  4. I'm feeling all twisted up inside. I watched some irregular porn just now. I guess it could have been worse but it was about a guy tied down and a woman teasing this guy. And I masturbated. What can I do to redeem myself. I want to have a girlfriend and a real relationship but it doesn't look possible as long as I am so messed up inside. Am I just a fucked up individual or does this have to do with SPS. I really hope it has to do with SPS and I am alright as a person coz then all I gotta do is have sex and my worries will either be confirmed or denied. I have another thing to admit. Sometimes I watch webcam girls. I saw this one girl who got an orgasm using a toy by just penetrating it two inches or even less just playing it around. I asked her how this was possible. She said the g spot is located 2 inches in. She said size does not matter. I believed it but I also realized that there are women out there who wouldn't be satisfied with even an 8 inch dick. So everyone is different and to some size matters and to some not depending on their anatomy. I have the highest respect for all anatomies though I would be partial to women who are satisfied more easily for obvious reasons. Women, if you are reading this, please respond to me. What should I do?
  5. Last week
  6. Most women believe or like to believe or want people to believe that it is the relationship, not the penis size, even those women who have a lot of adventurous sex. They resent that men seem picky about female bodies and make a point they aren't or, at least, put the person first. When they admit preferences they are clear they are just talking preference and can adjust to whatever the "right" man has in the way of genitals. An interesting point is that women list as attractive or necessary male characteristics such as "confidence", not just in bed, but in life, which are difficult for a man with a small penis (real or imagined) to develop. Just my attempt at mind reading. Plus, there are many varieties of females. They don't all think and feel alike! My stereotype above does not fit all.
  7. Maybe, I can't know what your friendship is really like - but I do know friendship is a 2 way street, something that should make both parties happy.
  8. I don't mind asking that at all, but I'm sure that if she did have any relevant friends, she would have made the introduction already.
  9. Alabaster, I see what you are saying re. friend, but as you were both involved and she probably has more than an inkling how you feel I don't think it is 'completely legitimate' for her say it's going well with the other guy. Say you'd rather not hear if you want, test her sensitivity - because if she is a close friend she'd understand. This is cheeky but why not ask her if she has any cool female friends you could double date with! Also, when crunch time arrives with a girl, I'll bet that you will know instinctively what to do, especially if she is the right one 😉
  10. Thanks for the replies! Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I should note, though, that while the technical experience (for lack of a better term) is one of my concerns, it's probably the smallest among them. I might try that; I guess it's a matter of finding an activity where I could fit in and enjoy it for its own sake, where there are also women, and where there is an opportunity to actually get to know your peers, so it wouldn't be too creepy if I come on to people. That makes sense. However, distancing seems extreme, probably wouldn't help that much, and difficult in practice due to work relationships. The issue with establishing boundaries is that, since I'm quite sensitive, they would have to be impractically restrictive to be effective. A single word said has the potential to trigger me and give me something to obsess about for a long time. For example, she has recently told me that things are going well with [that other guy]. As a friend I think its completely legitimate for her to tell me such things. And because I care about her, I wish I could feel genuinely happy for her. But I can't. It's too painful a reminder for what I've missed. This sounds reasonable, but I have a few issues. If I look at the hard evidence so far, there's plenty of evidence that I'm not desirable (no meaningful relationship in 35 years), and not enough evidence that I am (one semi-serious relationship that got nipped in the bud). And regardless of logical arguments, the important issue is whether I feel desirable, and I can't shake the feeling that I'm not. I wish I had something a bit more tangible to show me that I am. And though I might be a bit blowing things out of proportion, in my mind, having sex is exactly that - the ultimate, conclusive proof. Not "close to sex". Not "maybe sex if circumstances were a bit different". Sex. I'm fine with that. But here's the thing... Normally, I'm focused on my work, and I don't spend time and energy on the idea of dating; so I don't think about how miserable I am. When I do try to date more actively, this just opens a Pandora's box and brings all those negative emotions to the surface. Which, in turn, makes me less eager to try to date. It's a vicious circle I have so far been unable to break. I'm sure that it's not useful to think that virginity is a handicap. But merely knowing this is not sufficient for me to not think that... If I ever do have sex, I'm pretty sure I will let the partner know in advance it's my first time. I can understand what you're saying that it is always challenging with first-time partners, but this really can't match my current level of cluelessness. To be a bit blunt and use the words of Samwell Tarly, I won't know where to put it. And there's an emotional component to the event beyond the mechanical one. I think it will be useful for her to know exactly what we're going into. Well, she's a cool person, and being friends with her is advisable regardless of anything else. Also, in a sense, she is the only close female friend I've ever had. I think it's healthy to have friends of the opposite gender, who are not romantic partners, or partners of a male friend. And I think it strengthens me as a person to be able to remain friends with an ex. The thing here is, that I might be biting more than I can chew. I'm not really that strong emotionally, and internally, I'm not handling what this friendship entails all that well.
  11. cool. thanks. however, it would be reassuring to hear from a woman especially about the girth.
  12. jazz

    Top news from UK

    Don't blame you for not watching them 😆
  13. Hi Alabaster and welcome. Just 2 things I wanted to add - try to put yourself in situations where women go to improve the odds of meeting someone - who knows, you could meet the woman of your dreams at a yoga class 😉 Also, about your friend - I can understand how that is a painful situation, don't endure torment if it is too much to be friends with her - think about distancing or at the very least boundaries about topics you don't want to hear about.
  14. You don't need to ask women 5.9" is considerably above average. You have nothing to worry about. When I visited LPSG I perceived that the "Ask a Woman" participants pooh poohed male size concerns. They were not size queens at all!
  15. Victimorthecrime

    Full week

    Interesting thanx. I like that the website is nice n simple. American website sites all have banners, pop ups, links galore so if you click one wrong place you are off to a different page and have to start all over again. Let me know if they are of real help or if it's just talk. Glad things are going good 😊
  16. Daveuk

    Full week

    https://www.tameside.gov.uk/supportedemployment
  17. Hi, Alabaster, welcome! Sorry for such a late reply. I hear your concerns and I understand your longing for a relationship. Also, it must be difficult to be around a person who reminds you of something so disappointing . However, it seems to me you're overestimating the problem that virginity might pose and you're seeking a proof of being desirable and lovable although you already have it - the woman has chosen someone else just because he was there and she happened to like him more; that doesn't mean you're not desirable etc. I think it would be better to concentrate on meeting some new (and/or 'already known') women and forming a nice relationship, just by talking, flirting, kissing, ... and taking it slowly so that you first really like each other and then, when you're already sure, you can try 'the next level'. I think that thinking "virginity is a handicap / disadvantage" is not useful at all and can only unnecessarily make yo nervous. I suppose it's always "new" with a new person (because people have different preferences, ...), so any past experiences don't make it much easier. You don't need to think it's such a difference. I'm sure there are guys who aren't virgins and can get nervous when they are with a new partner for the first time; it's normal. And I presume most (/many?) people don't have too hight expectations of 'first times'. All you need it to be attentive (not overly, in a weird way) to the needs and desires of the woman you're with and let her "guide you". Also, she even doesn't need to know in advance that you're a virgin (you may tell her afterwards). What do you think? BTW; I imagine you're probably rather lucky to be friends with the colleague, despite the fact that she reminds you (so far - it will end one day, surely at least when you'll be in a relationship) of what happened. What would yo say that her friendship brings you? Good luck and take care!
  18. well i just wanted to know how a certain class of women think. to be frank there were a few women who were really nice over there. but some of them massacred me. there is an 'ask a woman' section there where there was this one guy who asked .. how can i turn my girl friend into a size queen. he also got a lot of flak. it was said to him that it is not possible.
  19. Hi, Lately I'm in a lot of anguish concerning this. I've asked this question before but I mis stated my measurements so my earlier question stands null and void. My bone pressed erect length is around 5.9 inches to be precise it is 5 and 7/8 inches. My girth is around 4.5 inches around mid around 4 inches at the head and around 4.7 inches or more at the base, but base does not count as it does not penetrate. So please tell me your opinions. For some reason girls tend to find this question very annoying but I ask for your patience. Thanks in advance. I don't want to go to Large penis support group or any of those other places as the women over there are really ruthless and merciless and they slaughtered me last time I went there.
  20. Victimorthecrime

    Full week

    Tell me a bit about 'routes to work' if you care to.
  21. Daveuk

    Full week

    Monday - phoned routestowork for first meeting on Tuesday Tuesday - meeting at 3:30pm at routestowork for more support Wednesday - stayed in and tidied up Thursday - probation at 9:30am, humankind 1pm and CR at 7:30pm Friday - staying in for a rest
  22. Daveuk

    Top news from UK

    Both love island and the bachelor i do not watch now if you don't mind I be doing my weekly round up In my blog
  23. jazz

    Top news from UK

    Looked up the Maury show and does seem like the Jeremy Kyle one. Love Island is a dating show, contestants seem as if they would not have a care in the world but a lot of parading, ridicule and rejection goes on. It's like that show The Bachelor too, lots of misguided girls getting rejected trying to chase a "bighead", wanting to get famous.
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