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Showing content with the highest reputation on 12/15/2016 in all areas

  1. 1 point
    Small

    My so called life

    Hello again everyone. It's been about 3 months since I last posted so I thought I'd pay the forum a visit. I'm hoping you're all in a reasonably stable place while reading this, seeing as we're all in the abyss of life. It's about 11 pm here as I write this. I'm getting ready to watch a film called "The Boy" - a thriller/horror in which a babysitter is asked to look after an old couple's child at their mansion in the country, only to find that this child is in fact a peculiar looking porcelain doll. (I feel like I should have been paid for that). Anyway, not a whole lot has happened in my life. I'm still very much in my glum moods these days, lending thanks to unfortunate circumstances and my dark outlook on life. There have been some improvements whilst some setbacks, so nothing new on that end of the stick. My health My brain health has continued to improve, and I do believe I'm at the best I've been in a decade or so. However, my memory tests are still fairly poor and I know that my processing abilities have not yet been fully recuperated. It's a mixed bag on this end but I am enjoying steady progress. I do have other health issues bringing me down, including chronic fatigue system and narcolepsy which is a kick in the balls. It really does bring down my mood and makes the waking moments far more painful than they should be. I have less energy in the tank and feel exhausted when others are still alive and kicking. What a bitch right? I can't enjoy myself and unwind the way others can after a long day. Work Work is generally good. I'm on an intense but rewarding project so I do get to feel some sense of accomplishment and all that new age bullshit. However the fatigue does really interrupt this. Also, I continue to suffer this generic aversion to work which manifests itself as anxiety while I'm doing my thing. I still bbelieve that the 40 hour week is unnatural and unhealthy, and being a CFS sufferer makes it way worse. Mental health So yeah. I'm still very much depressed and I suffer from a few anxiety disorders aswell as having SPS. I'm melancholic, withdrawn from reality, and I over-think everything. I think that the pursuit of happiness is nothing more than a wasteful and perilous journey, which can only be achieved through delusion and complacency. So feeling sad really isn't my biggest problem, I have felt this way since childhood. General Life as a whole is shit, I must admit it. I do try to enjoy little moments when I can but they are few and far between. I think that I simply refuse to sugar coat the bad and though this serves well in assuring I'm free of delusion and fantasy, it leaves my sensitive temperament exposed to the turbulent and dark world. There's really not much more to say. I'll be posting more frequently.
  2. 1 point
    jazz

    Job fears

    Vic, not surprising you feel unwell. Hope you can complain to HR about the proposed transfer. Get well soon.
  3. 1 point
    Klingsor

    Job fears

    I'm truly sorry to hear that, Victim. Is the department into which you are transferring horrible because of the people you must work with/under or because of the nature of the work? You are a better man than me. I would likely give up and walk away, putting myself into an even bigger mess. That seems to be my pattern. If I were you, I'd most definitely try to get the workman's comp. It's something I never considered in the past, but these days I would. I will be hoping for a solution to present itself to you.
  4. 1 point
    TooOld4This

    whining thread

    Wishing you the best, Pax Keep trying, don't give up. I relate to the sense of hopelessness that comes from repeated failure. I finished law school in 1985, and began a long series of failures that lasted through 2008. That's 23 years, if you're doing the math. But stay strong and keep pushing forward. Eventually you'll show them.
  5. 1 point
    IrmaJean

    Job fears

    Do you have any choice in this or are they telling you that you have to transfer? Can they do that? Are you able to address your fears in this? Maybe some self nurturing activities could take your mind off it for a time, release some stress? I'm not sure what works best for you. I hope you feel better soon, both physically and emotionally.
  6. 1 point
    IrmaJean

    whining thread

    Can you go to your professor tomorrow, explain that you were ill, and ask to turn the assignment in late? I understand that you missed the presentation, but maybe you can still receive partial credit? Hopefully enough to pass the course? I hear you that sometimes it's challenging to push forward and keep trying, but I hope you will continue to try. Sending you strength. Try not to judge yourself harshly, if you can. It sounds like you worked very hard and did a great job with many A's. I hope you are able to rest tonight and that you feel better soon.
  7. 1 point
    TooOld4This

    whining thread

    From one bullying survivor to another, VotC, wishing you the best.
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