Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Leaderboard


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/08/2019 in all areas

  1. 4 points
    Victimorthecrime

    "It's big enough to be on your mind" would be my response.
  2. 4 points
    Victimorthecrime

    What's the point?

    And just to expand on this a tiny bit - it's not our fault. It's important to realize that life is often hard and that is completely independent of anything we have done. There is only so much we can even impact much less control.
  3. 3 points
    Klingpeach

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    It’s little joys like that I live for. Usually once a month I buy a large pizza on Friday night with breadsticks, salad full works and a dr. Pepper and then watch a movie. It’s a welcome indulgence
  4. 3 points
    One the way home from work yesterday I was so tired and in need of some boost that I stopped at the local bakery and bought a pig-out box! Eclair, brownie, cream puff. It was delicious 😋
  5. 3 points
    When faced w life's difficulties I have found that the only things that help at all are: 1) getting rest and generally taking care of myself 2) what I call "higher level thinking" meaning not being emotional but rather being analytical and taking concentrated look at the facts and the options clustered around those facts and 3) just plain old hard motherfucking work. Sorry to be blunt but nothing else expresses it the way I want. It will get there. It takes what it takes but it will get there. Talking about the house and the financial situation mostly, along w life in general.
  6. 3 points
    IrmaJean

    What's the point?

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down, Obsolete. 🙁This life thing can be challenging, I hear you. I don't have any simple answers, but I am here listening and I care. Depression can make everything feel dark and not possible. I think one of the points of therapy is to have a safe space to openly share feelings. True that therapy isn't for everyone, though. I think we each need to find what works best or helps us most, however that looks for each individual. It's good that you reached out here. I hope that expressing yourself helps. Take care of you.
  7. 3 points
    malign

    A Year Gap

    I think this is the longest gap there's ever been in this blog, which has been running since 2008. I guess nothing too surprising happened this past year: classes go on; it will soon be time for practicum, where the rubber meets the ... forehead of the client; I went back to work for the big-box grocery-slash-everything chain I worked for before ... All the usual anniversaries went by: my hospitalization, my ex filing a restraining order that began the end of our marriage, and so on, but they didn't carry very much weight this time. More prominent was the two year anniversary of my second marriage, which is much happier. I continue to make progress in my own therapy. And that might be part of the reason for the gap: I would like to postpone writing until I'm "done", whatever that means, until I think I can sound smart describing the humbling process of coming to terms with coping "skills" that I would rather change. What I found, mostly, is that my childhood was, in fact, kind of difficult, despite everyone involved doing their best and no major evil. My folks just had too much on their hands, having two baby boys in their 40's. As the first child, I did my best to relieve them of some of the burden, which simply isn't a child's job ... It made it very confusing about what I'm allowed to do, what I'm allowed to want, who I'm allowed to be. The limits seemed a good idea at the time. Now I have to reconcile the part that resents all that I thought I should give up with the part that thought that giving those things up was a good idea. And I do mean reconcile; there's a desire to "replace" the old manager part, but all that does is change which part is exiled. I have to find an argument to which they'll both agree for why they're stronger and better together. So. Still here, still reading, still hoping that people benefit. See y'all around.
  8. 3 points
    Victimorthecrime

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    Sunday morning, after breakfast and having tea and just relaxing a tiny bit before getting to some chores and thought I would post. Having some chronic difficulties w this house that I don't even want to go into. These APPs like Home Advisor, Thumbtack, etc are a joke. Most of the repairman are far away and none call you back. Get better results out of the Yellow Pages! Anyway times like this I remind myself that there are people fighting stage 4 brain, lung, breast, and colon cancer along w any number of other painful, chronic, life-threatening diseases and those folks would give anything to have home repairs be their biggest problem. It's the only thing that gives me perspective & peace. All we can do is our best and take one thing at a time. Hope everyone is doing well or at least reasonablely well.
  9. 3 points
    Small

    My so called life

    Hi @retr0john I'm glad I saw this post, i very nearly missed it. All things considered i am doing okay. I've had a lot of ups & downs recently but have mostly been focusing on work. I've managed to find myself in a position where i do most from home & only got to the office for meetings, and that suits me just fine. I just got home from my sister's house where i spent the afternoon with my niece. We hung out, talked, debated & she put some fish & chips in the oven. I've been teaching my nephew a little more boxing. He's 8 years old - not completely coordinated yet but he's a big boy. Looks like he could have a heavyweight type build! So far he manages to stay in his stance with decent technique. He hits like a mule too. It's mittwork so far with very light sparring. (I don't hit him - he gets to beat me up & practices defending the occasional shot) I'm glad you're getting back in shape again! Were you terribly out of shape? Do you set KM targets or are you walking more casually? I haven't walked regularly since last summer & I'm hoping to get that going in the spring! I rollerskate too and that is a better workout than it looks What are you planning to do at the gym? I'm happy to see you had the kids over & got to cook again. I've been rooting for you these past few months & it's good news. Do you have any more plans to get together with them? And have you got the appetite back to cook again? I don't cook myself so I appreciate a well prepared meal. I mostly boil rice & make a veg & meat stir fry for both lunch & dinner. For breakfast it's toast & scrambled eggs. (No drinking raw eggs for me) Thanks for posting John. I'm happy to hear from you & hope you keep seeing positive developments.
  10. 2 points
    Do it the way people did it before there was such a thing as the internet and dating apps. The problem is people all want to date above them. Guys all want to date the prettiest, slimmest girls and women want the cute, athletic guys. The hardest thing to do when looking for a mate is staying in your lane.
  11. 2 points
    LaLa

    What's the point?

    I'm sorry I don't have enough time these days, but I'd like to mention at least some things: There are as many women with relatively low intelligence as men, and it's improbable that they would seek a very intelligent man. So from the statistic point of view, intelligence shouldn't be a problem for finding a mate. Moreover, kindness is more important for a relationship - and much more precious for life in general... Sorry for mentioning Ricky Gervais's work again (it's only because I'm now in a "phase" when I watch many videos "with him", so it easily comes to my mind as a reference / example), but I also like this series as an explanation that kindness and friendliness are more important than intelligence, although it will never happen that everybody would agree (but intelligent people have "enemies", too!) : - BTW, also read some of the comments below the video - at least the first 3 (just below the description) I don't know what is your age (I'm curious but you don't have to mention it if you don't want to), but I suppose you should still have a chance to have a family: What do you think about finding a widow or a divorced woman with a child / children? Have you tried on-line dating sites (there you could search for women in such situations)...? Also, you mentioned not having friends. In my opinion, friends are more important than a partner / lover. And making new friends can be an important "intermediate step" between solitude and finding a partner. It necessitates efforts, but... so would both suffering in the status quo and planing a suicide - and the potential outcomes of the two kinds of efforts (living better / not changing or dying) would have such opposite values! Are there any opportunities to volunteer in the area where you live? That would be a great way to start, as it introduces you to new, kind, people as well as gives you a meaningful activity and shows you that you are able to be useful. In addition, you could (later?) try some other regular (free) activities where you could meet new people. BTW, it is very possible that your "academic" problems are mainly due to teaches that weren't competent enough to help you find your true abilities. It happens far too often. One nice example is Daniel Pennac, who'd been considered dumb and problematic by teachers but later was lucky and became a great teacher and writer - he resumes his views on schooling in this great book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12857101-school-blues?rating=2 I don't know if I "should" mention this , but I like this attitude. In general; why should one care about opinions of people who don't understand - and even don't try to understand...??? Even more if they are harsh, rude, make one's life even harder...!?! That's all from me for the moment. I hope very much that both of you will "stay with us" and gradually discover ways to feel much less miserable... Take care!
  12. 2 points
    LaLa

    What's the point?

    @Obsolete, I'm sorry you feel that way . You don't need to apologize. And I don't think nor feel I "wasted" my time or efforts. Even if you felt a bit better for a short time, it was worth it. Of course I'd love to see a big change in your perspective, for your sake, naturally, but I'm realistic... I also know sometimes (often?) just many small steps can lead to a significant change. Perhaps you're taking some of them now, by writing about your situation, feelings, and perspective and by reading our reactions; who knows? It is also possible that you "failed" according to criteria which don't truly matter. Perhaps your view of "success" is unnecessarily demanding. May I ask what have been your ambitions? Here is a text I'd recommend you (a depressive friend once mentioned the Kaizen way as it helps her a lot in her everyday life): https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/get-1-better-every-day-the-kaizen-way-to-self-improvement/ I would also recommend you to watch this Netflix series, but I know it's possible that you won't find access to it (at least so far - it will surely soon be available also elsewhere) : https://youtu.be/eIGGKSHMQOM You might at least read this review about it - perhaps it could feel at least a bit good reading about the topic (?): https://medium.com/@jennifersartorehulst/hope-is-everything-6b20d804ac17 Here is also something about it (the hero): It may be one of many alternatives to suicide - "just change your life / attitude as if it didn't matter anymore what others would think". It may be dangerous (if someone is / wants to be violent and this releases his aggressiveness), but in this case, it was only verbal "aggressiveness" / rudeness and it brought, eventually, an interesting lesson for the hero - he realized after some time how to use this new "superpower" in a rather positive way; not hurting "good people". Anyway, back to your post: From the way you've been expressing yourself here, it's obvious you are definitely not an idiot, and you're not just superficial and uncritical. But I think I know how you probably feel - I am educated and people think I'm relatively intelligent, but I've seen myself as "idiotic" most of my life. So yes; it's a matter of perception. I realized the difference between my definition of "idiocy" and the definition others have, is that I think I'm too "stupid" to live "wisely" / "as I'd like to". It's probably similar for you (?). But people who actually are morons don't realize they are morons. BTW, you wrote: Yet, just then you wrote a relatively complicated post in good English and it doesn't give the impression of you having "struggled" to write it - it's well-written, easily readable, it explains well your points. Isn't at least that a reason not to trust your self-perception? So, the problem is that you think you should have / would need more intelligence and better capacity of critical thought. May I ask why you consider it so important for your wellbeing? What is it that you miss, in practice? It's very easy to find many articles about "intelligent / smart people being unhappy / miserable", so... I doubt it that it's very relevant to overall life satisfaction. (some examples: https://www.learning-mind.com/fail-to-be-happy-intelligent/, https://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/why-are-smart-people-so-miserable.html, https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/04/why-so-many-smart-people-arent-happy/479832/) Yes, I can see that this may pose many problems to you . But confidence is also something one can slowly build, systematically increase. Can you tell what makes you "non-self-confident"? I don't know your age, but as your parents are still alive, you're obviously not "near natural death". But that's not even important. There are people who become happy just in their old age. I don't know if they are numerous, but I know some. Staying alive may be seen as giving yourself the chance to experience "better days". Sadly, it's 'normal' to hate one's life and oneself when one is depressed and / or in a difficult social and emotional situation. But what do emotions like love and hate tell us? When we love something, we want more of it or want it more often, when we hate something, we either want to avoid it or change it. Avoiding is easier, even in case of one's life / oneself . The loss of interest is probably due mainly to depression (which is most often treatable and can go to remission). And making new friends is a challenge that would bring a new aim in your life and then also new benefits. Even making new acquaintances can be good for you - and that wouldn't be so hard. For instance, is there an opportunity for volunteering where you live? If yes, then that could bring you some purposeful activity as well as new friends. BTW; you do have some kind of friends: Us here!! This is something many suicidal people erroneously assume! Loosing a family member by suicide is very traumatic! Even when your family is not supportive. They would very probably live in never-ending remorses and self-blame! It's sad that they only show you their disappointment , but it's surely not the only thing they feel about you. Some people are very bad at expressing positive emotions and appreciation, unfortunately. And some are even bad at noticing the good things in others (often until they loose them - then they suddenly realize...). I suspect that the attitude of your family towards you is not as much a result of "who you are / how you life", but rather one of the causes why you've been so miserable. It's very hard to build confidence and succeed without supporting parents (at least in childhood)... I see that it may appear weird to someone who doesn't know a lot about it. "Just talking" doesn't sound appealing to everyone. But good psychotherapy is much more than "just talking". It's creating a healing relationship with another human being; a non-judgemental, understanding, and accepting professional who doesn't want anything from you except for your collaboration on your common effort to make your life better (for a fee, of course). Many studies have shown that it's the relationship that heals / make the biggest difference. But it can't make sense to someone who hasn't experienced it, because you cannot just imagine it. What's wrong about "whiny little teenagers"??? The point of places like this is that you can vent here as you please / need. Don't judge yourself for expressing your emotions and describing your problems. You might as well need to "get it out" (to feel a bit better??). Sorry to pose so many questions, but... I believe that if you consider such a huge decision, you might as well take enough time to think about all the aspects and answer all the raising questions and 'objections'... Take care!
  13. 2 points
    Victimorthecrime

    What's the point?

    @Obsolete take some off if you can. If not just clear the decks as much as possible. Some days just being alive is all the challenge we need. I seem to recall things got better for awhile, you were working out and stuff. Not sure what happened after that.
  14. 2 points
    jazz

    What's the point?

    I've read many of your supportive comments on this forum, now you really need the support yourself because this is how depression is, it makes someone feel awful and completely self critical. When I was depressed it was unbelievable how many negative thoughts revolved around my head, it's a misery prism.
  15. 2 points
    Daveuk

    Week starting 18th - 22nd

    Monday 18th Went out to buy a couple of DVDs and shopping Tuesday 19th Went out to buy cola and a few food Wednesday 20th Stayed in and watched few DVDs Thursday 21st Had probation and CR came back at 10pm Friday 22nd Stayed in and s rest today.
  16. 2 points
    retr0john

    My so called life

    Small, it's interesting you say your nephew stances right but is a left paw. My oldest boy is right handed in everything, but when he played baseball he batted left, and wore his glove on his right hand and threw with his left. I guess it's whatever they learn and are comfortable with. I helped with kids starting out boxing, but when I was helping out I certainly wasn't an advanced coach or anything, I was just helping kids with the basics. Yes, I own my own guns. I have two .45s, a 9mm, a .357, a .25 and a couple .22s to plink with. I also have three long guns and an antique .36 caliber black powder rifle. My boys own 2 or three guns apiece. I do shoot for pleasure, but I also take my practice time very seriously. I take professional class time refresher training at least once a year and practice often. I firmly believe if a person isn't going to take gun ownership seriously, they have no business owning or carrying a firearm. I used to hunt, and took the boys occasionally. Among the things I taught the kids was that they never shoot and kill anything that they're not going to eat, and never take more than you can eat. Don't waste anything. Hunting isn't for pleasure, it's for putting food on the table. Oh well, time to jump down off my soap box. I envy you having tried pasties before. I'm definitely going to make that the first thing new that I try to cook. No, the gym I'm looking at doesn't have any type of boxing set up. It's more of a modern weight training place with treadmills, not an old, comfortable sparring gym like Sarges in Louisville. Heck, Sarge probably isn't there anymore. Take care Small. P.S. Hi Victim. I seen you were reading along. I hope your cutting down on the beer is still going well. Take care too!
  17. 2 points
    retr0john

    My so called life

    Small, it was great to see you had responded! It's good to get grounded again. I suppose it time to pull my big boy pants back on. I'm glad to see you've got into a place with your company that you like and are comfortable with. I have to admit I smiled when I read that part of your post. We could not be more polar opposite when it comes to work. I always enjoyed the actual hands on physical aspect of my job, and absolutely hated meetings with a passion. The few times I had to have a meeting in carpetland I was already in a foul mood before I walked through the front door. I think they considered me anti-social, but I got the job done so they put up with me. Different strokes for different folks. So you're teaching your nephew to box? Great! It sounds like it's going well with him! Maybe, if you're so inclined and have free time you might consider volunteering some time at a YMCA or P.A.A.L. to coach and mentor other kids? It sounds like you're a natural teacher. Just something to think about. I've started walking again. I used to take long walks, but not really for exercise. Just sharing time. I had the jump rope and training bag for cardio. Now I'm picking up the pace and getting my heart rate up. All of the kids kicked in and bought me a nice smart watch that 'talks' with my phone. The watch measures my heart rate and half a dozen other things. I think they worry a little about me over doing it. I really don't walk for distance, but I walk for a set amount of time, keeping my speed and steps up. Yeah, it's amazing how out of shape and how many pounds you gain in a years time. I'm eating better, more salads and less fast food. I'm living about 40 miles north of the old house. I'm still out in the country. It makes for pleasant walking. A nice couple bought the old place. I'm glad someone has it that can appreciate it, but I'll never go back. The kids and I do have one more thing planned. There's an indoor shooting range in Indianapolis. The boys are both proficient with guns, know how to handle them and be safe. A couple years ago I'd been bugging my daughter to at least learn about them, especially the safety aspects. Now that she's a teacher and on the job she's agreed to go to at least one hour of range time and learn how to check if a firearms loaded, how to safely unload and disable one and actually pick one up and shoot it. She has absolutely no interest in owning a gun and has never touched one. That's fine, but I want her to know safe handling and unloading so she can neutralize one she's come across. I haven't cooked something different or interesting for a long time. Chili, cheesy potato or bean soup, cornbread doesn't count. I could do those in my sleep. I watch too much TV. I was watching a travel show. The feller on it was hiking in England. (Lord, there's a lot of beautiful country side and sights there!) Anyway, he stopped at a small shop and bought a Pastie. It looked like a pie crust folded over with some kind of a super thick beef stew inside. Small chunks of meat with lots of veggies and a real thick gravy in a thick bread type crust. I was drooling. These were just sitting out on a shelf. The young lady in the shop wrapped it in a piece of wax paper where she said it would be fine until lunch. It looked delicious. Something like a beef potpie in a folded over crust. I'm intrigued, and I'm going to find a recipe and try to make one (or two or more). I like stir fry. It's hard to justify making a multi item, complex meal for just one, isn't it? I'll humbly make a confession, I love chicken flavored Ramen! I keep a case of 12 packs down in a cupboard and break one out for lunch. I know I'm not a starving collage student but I eat it because I really like it, not because I have to. Small, I hope your life stays on a track that you like. Sometimes easy and placid is refreshing vrs. having a crisis thrown at you every waking moment. Springs coming. I can't wait to just walk and enjoy watching the farmers planting and the flowers bloom. Take care!
  18. 2 points
    retr0john

    My so called life

    Hi Small. I hope you are doing well and in a good place in your life right now. I'm walking again, trying to get back into shape and thinking I might join a local gym this spring. You'd asked me in a different thread if I had cooked anything lately. I finally had all three kids over for just a family evening. It's been well over a year since I've seen them in a lighter social setting. I made a stock pot full of chili, and a big pan of scratch made cornbread. It must have hit the spot, there wasn't any leftovers for lunch the next day. We enjoyed a fire outside. I was just a bit wistful, but it was nice to have the kids all together in a lighter atmosphere. I hope everyone's doing well here. I think about all here I've grown to know and think well of you.
  19. 2 points
    IrmaJean

    Ranting on about women

    I think that people have different needs and wants and different feelings about relationships and attraction. I had a conversation with someone recently about how baffling it is to me that some people can find another person attractive at first glance. It doesn't work that way for me? I need to spend time with that person, get to know and recognize them and then they may, little by little, become more attractive to me. They were equally baffled by my experience as I was by theirs. I think we can learn from one another through open conversion and supportive listening.
  20. 2 points
    John's Know

    Ranting on about women

    I've always wondered what it is that separates the women that will accept a man who has a small penis and will love him and date him and even marry him from the women that want nothing to do with them. What is the personality trait that differentiates the two groups?
  21. 2 points
    lbaker

    Thy Enemy.....Small Penis

    I did it through the small penis support site measurection.com and some other internet groups that have disappeared. However, there aren't any women there any longer. Trying to help guys with small dicks or guys who think they have small dicks is pretty discouraging for women because we are resistant to change. Most women can stand the effort to help only a short time before throwing-up their hands. Also, a lot of small dick and sps sufferers would call the women liars when they said they could get off on a small penis as well as large. I immediately learned not to accuse them of lying so I could get close and learn a lot about their experiences. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that most of us small dick guys are naturally NOT AS MASCULINE and aggressive as we would need to be to cope with the handicap of a small dick. Duh! big dick guys are likely to be the ones more masculine and more aggressive by nature. The women would always bring-up some small dick guy they ran into that was very aggressive and how much fun they had with him. Ultimately, they were saying "why can't you be like him?" Most of the time a small dick correlates to lower masculinity. I know it does with me. I couldn't assert myself worth a dang in school, work, or in the peer group unless I was drinking. Why would I think I could do it in sex either?
  22. 2 points
    Daveuk

    Week after bday

    1st March my birthday had a relaxing day. Brought new Halloween, Detroit Monday went out and brought two DVDS Molly's game and clue Tuesday went out to buy some cola Wednesday stayed in and tidyed up Thursday went to probation and CR Today stayed in and having a rest
  23. 2 points
    jazz

    Week after bday

    Your birthday is St. David's Day, perfect for a Dave ☺️
  24. 1 point
  25. 1 point
    Daveuk

    Quiz 1 answers

    Jazz you got 7/10 on the Quiz 1 the three you didt get are 3. Eastern 21st April Western 28th April 5. Hop 6 hunt and find Easter eggs
  26. 1 point
    Daveuk

    Quiz 1 answers

    Quiz 3 answers 4/10 1. Curse of la lorano 2. Bedazzled 3. Lost in apace 4. Jennifer aniston 5. Shrek 8. Conspiracy theory
  27. 1 point
    Daveuk

    Quiz 4 mixed bag

    Mix of Film, TV and Easter 1. What film was a remake of a gene wilder musical ? 2. What 90s TV series about witches returned in a revival ? 3. At Easter who hides the eggs ? 4. Traditionally what is not allowed to be eating on good Friday ? 5. What film was about a cowboy who was selling drugs to make people better ? 6. In keeping up appearances what was the name of hynciths two sisters ? 7. In Friends who says "Oh my god" ,? 8. Who fights the forces of evil in Sunnydale ? 9. What egg always has chocolate and a surprise ? 10. After Easter what holiday falls on Monday ?
  28. 1 point
    Daveuk

    Quiz 2 scrambled chocolate

    Unscramble to get the answers 1. Dream bury ecc 2. wit X 3. steel ams 4. Smm 5. becked rouled 6. Arms bra 7. crinkess 8. Host blue coat tonc 9. Labs iron 10. Titles Sk
  29. 1 point
    jazz

    Quiz 2 scrambled chocolate

    1. Cadbury creme 2. Twix 3. maltesers 4. m&ms 5. double decker 6. mars bar 7. snickers 8. ? 9. lion bars 10. skittles
  30. 1 point
    Daveuk

    Week starting 15th - 19th

    Sorry no blog Quiz time 10 Easter Questions ( 10 today 10 tomorrow 10 Easter Sunday 10 Easter Monday ) 1. What is the Greek word for easter ? 2. What is the Friday before Easter called ? 3. What is the western and eastern date for easter ? 4. What day does Easter generally fall on ? 5. What is the film called about the Easter Bunnies son ? 6. What is the object of hunting eggs ? 7. What is the Sunday called before Easter ? 8. Why is Passover called Passover ? 9. Why is easter celebrating ? 10. Name 5 types of easter eggs ?
  31. 1 point
    jazz

    I do see what you mean nlh , it's just sometimes the head goes into overdrive - part of it is what the media creates in people's head's as well, endless stories of do this, be that and images to go with it.
  32. 1 point
    MrsSmall

    wife of husband with small penis

    My husband and I have been married for over 25 years, I am so glad that we found this forum. We both have felt so alone, with this secret problem. And now I can finally talk with people that have the same problem. Honestly I didn't know what it was called. The reason why we found it today was because I want help, first I went to penis envy and that was for women. And then I went to small man syndrome and that had nothing to do with the penis. Finally my husband typed in small penis syndrome. I read that letter that lead us to here. I only read a few notes, I was wondering if there were any women out there that sharing this problem with there spouses. In the beginning of our marriage, I really thought that my husband was being silly, yes his penis is small but I had seen smaller and had been with men that were smaller. Then the questions started. All about my past sexual relationships, the size of the penis, the length, fatness, the size when they were soft. The size of the testicles. At first I tried to help him and answer the best I could then, it got worse. The questions really disturbed me. I wondered if he was gay. I believed that he wasn't and I still do not think he is gay. But I was really worried. Then my husband would get really depressed. I didn't understand, I thought he is just kinky, after five years of our marriage I became a Christian, which made it more complicated. Because I felt so guilty for talking about other men in my life, or when my husband saw other men in the public bathroom. Even a few times he saw pre teens or early teens that were bigger then him. So I told him no more. And it got worse, he would go for a whole week with out talking to me. I felt so alone. I talked to my pastor, he to thought that I should not talk about this that if my husband wanted to leave me it was Biblically okay. Then I made the mistake of telling my husband that I told my Pastor, then he didn't want to go to church anymore, I didn't blame him, he felt like the pastor probably told other people and now every body knows. The isolation is so hard. I wish years ago I could have found this web site. Well we went to a women counselor. She felt that she couldn't help us. She felt that I had boundries issues, and that I had to deal with that. But she couldn't help my husband. Then years later because of problems with our marriage, my husband paid for a professional, she told him to get over it. I'm not kidding. Get over it. Wow that was a lot of help. So then I found a male therapist that has help male prisoners, he was on tv or something, he wanted to hypnotise him. We both didn't want that. Also my husband started using pumps, at first they were junk, then he bought more expensive ones. This truely changed his size temporary. A half inch in length and one and a half in girth. And thats not his best. Some times he gets bigger then that. I felt guilt from this because, I did find wonderful pleasure from the change in his size. Which I want to say that my husbands small penis has made him the best lover I've ever been with, he tries so hard to make up for his smallness. He was the first person I ever had an orgasim with and that was before the pump, but when I tell him that it still doesn;t help his emotional pain. So then my husband had surgery, we only had enough money for lengthenig. We couldn't afford to have fat added and the doctor said that would diminish eventually anyhow. That added about a quarter of an inch, I truely feel a difference, but you really can't see it. I have more to say but I've ran out of space. I will write more later, thanks for listening and any advice.
  33. 1 point
    Monday went out shopping at Saintsbury's Tuesday went drop in for cup of tea Wednesday Stopped in for tidy up Thursday. Probation at 9;30am 7;00pm CR Friday stayed in and a rest
  34. 1 point
    Of course you don't deserve any shaming. It's the same as with all people who are different in a "not cool" (/ not appreciated by the majority) way. Do disabled deserve to be shamed or bullied, for instance? People who shame or bully others are just idiots and / or need some psychological help themselves to get over their own issues which make them behave like jerks...
  35. 1 point
    Porn, I do believe, has tremendously amplified the importance of penis size in the minds of men, especially, but women too. Also, porn presents the image that only the outstanding, athletic sex performances featured for the camera are of any value. I was married for 5 years before I saw much porn because it wasn't available. I was very late maturing, had a passive personality and didn't date or have intercourse until I was a Sr. in College because I finally started drinking to deal with my shyness. If I had watched porn, from 12 years old or so, I probably never would have had a date. The main message of porn is that you are pathetic in sexual activity unless you are very well hung. Guys considerably larger than average come away from porn thinking they are too small for anything but "pity fucks." I have read that a large % of the guys on the various quick sex apps don't get any sex. A relatively small % of men do all the fucking, but almost all the women have sex if they want. All they have to do is say yes to what looks best. Men who are good looking in face, genitals and body and are assertive hook-up easily. There are relationship dating apps too, but, those people count as "not having sex" until they actually score a relationship. Maybe eventually a lot of the young men not having sex will get married. . . ?? Maybe not? Anyway, the increasing % of young men not having sex doesn't surprise me.
  36. 1 point
    Daveuk

    Clocks go forward

    Don't forget we lose a hours sleep
  37. 1 point
    Daveuk

    This week near end of month

    Monday went out to buy two colas Tuesday Signed on at 11:30am Wednesday stayed in and day to myself Thursday safe guarding at 11:00am and CR at 7pm Friday Probation at 9:30am and then had tea at firststop and got money and shopping at 11am
  38. 1 point
    Obsolete

    What's the point?

    @LaLaThanks for the reading and viewing material I will be sure to check it all out.
  39. 1 point
    Dot

    memory & blackouts

    Hi All, I'm the wife of someone with bipolar disorder looking for information on blackouts. Recently, my husband weaned himself off of medication, and for two days in a row, he didn't remember conversations that I'd had with him or that my mother had with him. When I mentioned said conversation, he said, "We never talked about that," and looked at me like I was completely making something up to screw with him. Prior to his psychotic episode (which led to diagnosis), this would happen all the time, and he basically convinced me I was crazy and I was making things up. It was a mess, it was terrifying, it destroyed my self-esteem, and I'm terrified that it's going to happen again. Are the people in your life making this up to take advantage of you? Probably not. I wanted to add this because everyone seems to be telling you that your loved ones are messing with you, and as a partner to someone with mental illness, I wanted to offer the opinion that they love you and they're concerned for you and that the diagnosis itself is probably connecting the dots for them. Also, it likely got worse before they started noticing it, so it became hard to ignore. Now, will folks take advantage of your diagnosis in terms of custody and childcare and whatnot? Who knows. I just wanted to let you know what it was like for someone on the other end.
  40. 1 point
    MrEss

    Perspective on Micro-Penis

    I'm new here but saw a related topic, so here's my 2 cents. This is sent with all sincerity, but only gents so afflicted will comprehend my thoughts. Micro-Penis I don't know if I have a Micro-penis, or I am only 'small'. Less than 2” flaccid and under 4” erect. Doesn't matter as I've been like this for over 80 years. If this helps just ONE person, then it's worth my time to write. No, this is not some bull-poop story. To start, I was around before WW-2 started, no TV and definitely no internet. A week ago I found (on this internet) a document that I wish I had available when I hit puberty. While Mr. Jefferson may have been correct ( in his context ) about endowment “... all men are created equal...”, he obviously had never been in a communal gym. Yeah, us guys are equal, but some guys are more equal that others. Disregarding Porn, size DOESN'T matter. At least not in a physical (operational) sense. But size (or rather lack of) can sure make a guy neurotic. I say 'doesn't matter' as my little guy pumped out multiple babys and as their mom even requested my 'little guy' from time to time he must have performed in fine fashion. But getting to that stage sure caused some anxiety on my part. I was still a virgin at age 25. Had done a lot 'touchy-feely' (we called it petting back then) but never had the courage for 'show me yours and I'll show you mine'. I'm sure that I missed out on a lot of 'dicky-dunkin' as some of these young ladies might well have been willing to garage my 'little-guy'. As I said – NEUROTIC. I forgot that I have fingers and a tongue also. My dad did tell me that 'there's a lid for every pot'. The only thing I did right was that I never gave up. At 25, I met a young lady – later my wife – who also had a hangup. As things progressed, we also shared our thoughts. While I was hung up on the 'little guy', she had concerns about her breasts. Yup, we were both concerned about size. At least we were at the 'show and tell' stage, although no penetration yet. Besides thinking that all guys wanted a girl with watermelon breasts, she was also apprehensive when she confided that she was not a virgin. I re-assured her about the breasts that 'anything more than a mouthful is a waste'. We solved the virginity issue by picking a first time (mine) when she had her period. My 'little guy' was then a red man, and we agreed that the issue would never again be an issue. So what if you'll never be a porn star! That's all an act, anyway. Get real, get a girl, get laid! If size matters to her – she's a throw-away. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, or as dad said,'there's a trolley around every corner'. Worrying about size is counter-productive. Do you fixate on dying? Of course not, it's a foregone conclusion that if you are concieved you are going to die, so why worry. Throw away that ruler, do you think the measurement will change? However, the right lady will make him grow. Happy Hunting !!! but Be Safe.
  41. 1 point
    Small

    Thy Enemy.....Small Penis

    Hi Beth, Hope you've been well. Please don't feel the need to apologize on my behalf. I'm glad the mods/admin have deleted the message though. I dropped in to contribute but it seems that my commentary is unwanted - so I'll be taking another hiatus. Thanks for being kind & patient in your conduct. Best Wishes, Small.
  42. 1 point
    divorced

    Ranting on about women

    I loved and married a man with a small penis. I was attracted to the complete respect he gave me with no agenda to get me in bed. This was paramount to me as I had experienced an abusive relationship in High School. I was pretty promiscuous in College and for a few years thereafter. Some of the sex was good for a time, but no decent relationships developed. My relationship with my husband started at work very slowly. Years had gone by before we talked in a personal way at all. We finally noticed that we shared personal interests. The first dates were more like "meet-ups" for activities we both liked though he generally did pick me up. People would assume we were an item, but we'd laugh and say, "no, we just like to do X." We would often have dinner to talk about our interests. One time he drank more than usual and suddenly blurted-out that he loved me. I expected he would make a move in the car, but nothing.in spite of me sitting close to him. I finally took matters into my own hands, wrapped my arms around him and kissed him hard. I stuck my tongue in his mouth. We french kissed and made-out like school kids for a long time. Things progressed pretty rapidly from there. When we finally got naked some days later I was surprised how small his penis was, but wasn't concerned. I never measured it, of course, but it did almost disappear in my hand when I grasped it. But, it always seemed hard and ready to go. He told me he was a virgin as I had suspected. He orgasmed too soon to satisfy me for quite a number of our early sessions. After I showed him how to get me stimulated before attempting intercourse, he had less trouble lasting long enough to satisfy me. This may not be the best way for a relationship to develop. I was clearly "on the rebound" reacting to bad experiences. Our marriage lasted a long time but finally fell apart. So, I'm one type of woman who had no problem accepting a man with a small penis. I don't really know, but 2 shy people would probably be a more stable combination if a small penis is involved. The inequality of our sexual experience was a problem.
  43. 1 point
    Monday stayed in and bit of rest Tuesday went out to Saintsburys Wednesday stayed in for tidying up Thursday went out to firststop at 9:30 then out again at 12 noon for probation meeting then out at 5pm for CR group Today went out got paid got shipping put gas and electric on
  44. 1 point
    lbaker

    Thy Enemy.....Small Penis

    This brings-up the problem of how low masculinity men could best approach life in the absence of medical miracles like supplementing testosterone from a young age on. . . or even beginning supplementation in the womb. I guess we're just "supposed" to be low on the pecking order, unhappily (or happily?) serving the more dominant, more aggressive people. I guess there is a traditional role for low masculinity men as intellectual advisers to the powerful or dominant. In ancient societies, I've read slaves were often castrated to serve in that role to the rulers: eunuchs! I noticed that happening in my work. The more dominant guys got the glory while I was valued for hard work and technical knowledge. Yeah, a pecking order serves a societal function. The slaves shall serve! Maybe small penis syndrome arises only because the less masculine try to rise above their natural status. Failure to accept your natural status.
  45. 1 point
    divorced

    Ranting on about women

    We can only be knowledgeable about some of the women we happen to know!
  46. 1 point
    divorced

    How bad is a 4.7 penis?

    Believe it or not my focus has always been having sex with the guy, not his penis. I've certainly never measured any. I've been to bed with guys who would only stick out an inch from my hand I guess, 4 to 4.5" I remember thinking some were great guys and others jerks. Exactly how good the sex was, I don't really recall in most cases. That wasn't my main interest. I was looking for a mate. Only seldom with any guy would I have what is called a "big O", but I always had multiple clitoral orgasms unless the guy was a jerk or orgasmed way too soon. I'm sure I was hot and orgasmic with some of the smaller guys. I do remember one guy who had a short penis insisting on pushing my legs way back over my head so he could "get deep." I definitely had a major orgasm as a result. Unfortunately, he was one of the ones that turned-out to be a jerk. A kiss and tell type I mentioned before in another thread. I was really hurt when guys who I'd been intimate with and thought I had got close to talked about me to others as a whore and slut, laughing and bragging about what "they got me to do."
  47. 1 point
    Yes, it was. I just can't feel sorry for someone who cannot appreciate when someone is being kind to them and treating them well. Just sets up a vicious circle where nice people can't enjoy being nice, following their true personality.
  48. 1 point
    RonaldU

    Thy Enemy.....Small Penis

    Well, in %, as this are (in general, not talking about penises) small figures, yes, it's a pretty big increase. But if you think about it in inches or cm, it's almost nothing, many people won't be able to tell if an object is closer to 4" or 5"
  49. 1 point
    IrmaJean

    Ranting on about women

    I have never had such a conversation either; nor would I. I believe that when someone shares their vulnerability, this is something I would always want to respect and honor. I have shared my thoughts here many times over the years. My personal feelings about sex have little to do with the actual physical aspect and much more to do with the emotional connection. The act is a gift of sharing self with another. Physical intimacy would be about the gift of recognizing a person in this sense and the unfolding of that. My personal feelings, for whatever they are worth.. I have heard women make general type of rude jokes that I have found offensive. One time I told a co worker that they probably didn't realize how painful this could be for some men. Otherwise I would not associate with people who talked about others in this way.
  50. 1 point
    So I just posted this into the new forum section but I feel that it should be here... So I’m 31 years old and recently got married. I had been happily married for 7 months now and apart from financial struggles and my issue we are really happy with each other. My problem is that I keep thinking about how unhappy I’m about his penies’ size. I mean I knew it and really thought I could deal with it and adjust like I have, but I keep having dreams about exes or just wishing it was what I really like. He is great in bed, a very pleasant lover and in fact the second man that I can actually orgasm with. I feel ashamed to even feel this way because he is been a blessing to me. He is aware to some sort that he wasn’t my type and that I prefer a larger size but he was willing to show me he was enough and indeed he has but I still feel that I missed what I used to like. He even bought toys and things to try to please me. He tried an extender but I felt uncomfortable because I felt as if I was having sex with someone else. Just to give you a little more info. I was exposed to porn at an very early age so that set the bar kind of high for me, and since i started experimenting with sex I always prefer thick and 7-8 inches, 6 was tops for me in terms of how low i was willing to go. At some point when I wasn’t this mature it was a total deal breaker for me. I’m a big and thick girl and having a man with a big size was just like common sense to me. But once things got serious I decided to choose happiness and love over looks and size. That’s how I convinced myself. I felt guilty letting him go just for his size. In fact I did broke up with him about 3 times for the same issue but we will go back and try again and things would get easier. My husbands hides inside of him completely when Is not erected, which freaks me out, and with an erection is 3 - 4 tops in good days. It’s not thick but not thin either is fine. What would be your advise? Should I seek profesional help? Thanks for your time.
×
×
  • Create New...