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  1. 4 points
    malign

    Vocational Rehabilitation

    "Vocation" originally meant the calling that priests were expected to feel when they chose to enter the priesthood. It only later came to mean whatever career a person chose. I chose to make a right turn fairly late in my life, and go from a quarter century or so of computer programming to a new profession, psychological counseling. The change required that I get at least a master's degree, which at my age is probably as far as I will go. What made me decide to make such a change? Well, some of the events in my own life, which are largely detailed elsewhere in this blog, gave me some experience with psychology, from the user's perspective, you could say. Verbal abuse, depression and suicidality, and a drawn-out divorce made me aware that there had to be more to life than programming. And, coming to the site during that period, I learned a bit about helping and being helped. Programming isn't much of a legacy compared to that. The path to the degree has been long: four years and counting. The subjects taught were not clear-cut like the ones in my biology undergrad schooling. The classes had varying amounts of "experiential" learning, which seems to have meant that we taught each other. I have failed courses (before this one), something that isn't like me. I put off applying to the practicum several times, tiding myself over with an elective course so that my student loans wouldn't come due. Clearly, then, I have shown some resistance to finishing the program. Now it will take at least another year to graduate, and then I have to get licensed. Anxiety accounts for some of the resistance, at least. The fact that, even when I'm licensed, I will have to be supervised throughout my career is another burden that slows me down. The profession also won't be as lucrative as if I had continued programming, and hey, who doesn't like money? My advisor, even before I was admitted into the program, remarked that I didn't have the same kind of enthusiasm that other students had coming in, mostly just having graduated with psychology degrees. I pointed out, essentially, that I was twice their age and so could be expected to be roughly half as naive, I mean optimistic. I used better words, because he let me in, but I haven't become less cynical. Interestingly, I chose counseling as the way to help because I had experience with (receiving) it over most of my life, and I assumed that was how people get helped. I only realized, this last semester during one of my supervision sessions, that counseling was not, in fact, what helped me through the worst of my own time. It was this site! (The people really.) That startling idea has at least opened my mind to consider other helping options, even if I finish the counseling degree. It probably plays no small part in my reasons for coming back.
  2. 3 points
    IrmaJean

    New age bionic plaque

    The Memorial Day weekend was as crazy busy as ever where I work. We wear masks and most of the customers do as well, there is plexiglass, we are sanitizing frequently.... Today was the first day in 2 1/2 months there were no new cases in our county. We are in a lull with the virus here at the moment, but I don't think this is over. I don't think we should let our guard down either, but things are moving in a positive direction with gradual reopening. Let's hope this continues. I'm sorry you were locked out, Dave. I never received any messages about it, but glad to see you back again. I hope everyone is staying healthy and hanging in there.
  3. 3 points
    Catmom

    Performance anxiety

    I don't think this forum has many posters these days. I used to be a moderator of it over 10 years ago so I got an email regarding your topic, which requires approval. I have definitely approved it because you have a legitimate emotional difficulty that is worthy of attention. I hope I am not the only responder to your post but if I am I hope you don't take it personally. Nowadays, I participate in many very active support communities on reddit.com . There are probably several forums for you to seek guidance but one subreddit you can try is at r/smallpenisproblems . As a woman, I can tell you honestly that most women couldn't care less what size your flaccid penis is and that the teasing you got is very similar to the awful teasing that most people experience in their lives. All we can do is try to overcome the foolishness. It seems that common and immature human nature is to attack others to try to elevate one's own ego, Good luck and best wishes from Omaha, Nebraska, the geographic center of the U.S.
  4. 3 points
    IrmaJean

    New age bionic plaque

    Hello all. How is everyone holding up? I hope everyone is as good as they can be under these circumstances. I think of everyone. We are holding up as okay as possible. Still healthy, thankfully. We are fortunate enough to still have work, but at the same time, it's a little frightening to be working with the public as much as we are. The virus, though down in the state in general, has remained steady in my area, unfortunately. A local young policeman just died due to this, very sad. I honestly don't think this thing is going away anytime soon. I think we may need to adjust to a new normal. We see this often in life on a personal level, but the scope of this is nothing I have seen before during my lifetime. The ironic part for me, as a person who has struggled with anxiety for much of my lifetime, is I feel strong and ready to face this, as best as I can. I think maybe now that I'm an old timer and have lived through the things I have feared most (namely losing loved ones), I'm less anxious. Control what you can and do your best to adjust to the rest. My biggest fear is bringing this home to one of the girls, but we are being as careful as we possibly can. Sending everyone strength, care, and love.
  5. 3 points
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    @Klingsor on a more serious note please seek help if you think for a second you might need it. Not sure what your health insurance situation is but providers both in and out of network are offering therapy and prescriptions via Skype, Zoom or just phone call. Many offer sliding scale because their business has been hit. This is one of the few things I actually know about because it is part of what I do for a living. Just do a search. Where there is a will there is a way.
  6. 2 points
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    It was 81 hot degrees here today and I was only out for a short while but noticed that mask wearing compliance has plummeted. Masks are even more uncomfortable in the heat. Added to that we are set to move to “yellow” on June 04 and I think people are over it and ready to move on. I am too but just hope it holds. Don’t want to have to go through this again in the fall.
  7. 2 points
    malign

    And Another One's Gone ...

    LaLa, I'll probably get to some of your points in later blog posts, but ... I'm not trying to make myself feel bad about withdrawing from people to focus on myself. I don't know if I "needed" to, but I guess I thought I needed to, because I did. All I'm saying is that, having tried it, it seemed like throwing out the baby with the bathwater. It left me with just an empty washtub. 🙂 And, I'm hoping to be able to come back, because that's what I'm doing. "Does not meet expectations" is my cumulative grade for this course, which is pass/fail; the alternative is "Meets expectations", which means passing. We were all given an evaluation form with a lot of categories and subcategories on which we were rated. The grade is sort of a weighted average of performance on each ... task? I'm not really interpreting the phrase as applying to all of me, though it is discouraging. Sessions definitely make me nervous! (Jeff Sessions does too, but that's another story.) I've always been an anxious person, especially socially. Here I am being evaluated at a skill you don't really get to practice much beforehand. All the coursework gives you a grounding in a lot of the why's, but not much of the how's. It seems that they feel that the actual counseling is something you have to learn by trial and error. Which is my least favorite way to learn something. It makes sense that it's not something you can learn from books, but ... I also didn't feel very well supported in the feedback that was available. You are assigned a "supervisor", who is a more experienced counselor, to go over your sessions with. In our case, the supervisor was also a student, though a doctoral level student, who was herself receiving supervision from the professor. I have no independent viewpoint to evaluate her performance, but ... let's just say that my feeling that it was an inquisition was not relieved by our discussions, and I doubt that that resulted in an optimal learning experience for me. Ultimately, the goal is to be able to focus on the client's words in the session, while being able to observe oneself and the client with enough consciousness to move the session in a therapeutic direction. I remained unable to reach that observer level, by the end of the semester. Of course, no one expects us to be fully competent after such a short time, but that's where the "expectations" come in. I didn't even reach those. More elsewhere.
  8. 2 points
    These are trying times for sure.😞 I'm hoping we have turned a corner with the virus (at least for now), but I can't say that I feel sure about that either. Vic, are you in a space where you can go outside and safely walk? Maybe the fresh air might help a bit? Klingsor, is there any activity you enjoy that you find grounding? I hope everyone feels better soon.
  9. 2 points
    Klingsor

    New age bionic plaque

    @Victimorthecrime I appreciate the advice and thanks for caring. I finally got my mower running smoothly and drove to an elderly relative of mine to do some yard work and other odd jobs for her this afternoon, so I was able to get out into the fresh air and get some sunshine. Plus I worked up a sweat which I think is healthy both physically and psychologically. It made me feel better. My problems would still be here even without Covid, it just makes everything worse. Plus the instability, job worries, etc. I was just whining. I'm thankful and fortunate that I can still get out and drive around relatively unrestricted, I still have food to eat and clean water to drink. I have electricity. It could be much worse. So I'm trying not to worry about the future, but that's hard for me to do. I'll stop polluting Daveuk's thread. Days upon days locked inside you get tired of hearing your own thoughts and so it's tempting to get on here and bitch and complain. Thanks again, I appreciate it.
  10. 1 point
    Victimorthecrime

    Dare I say it...Politics

    @Klingsor hope you are ok. No one, least of all myself, is telling you to clam it. Love reading your stuff. Give yourself a break. You don’t owe anyone out in the world any explanations or justifications. You’re fine the way you are. Fuck their bullshit, these put down artists. If they were so special they would have no time for it.
  11. 1 point
  12. 1 point
    TheDane

    Performance anxiety

    My name is TheDane and I approve this message.
  13. 1 point
    LaLa

    Beer

    Cheers! Enjoy!
  14. 1 point
    Victimorthecrime

    Beer

    Beginning last week for Memorial Day weekend I had my first beers in quite some time. Bought a couple cases of Modelo Especial a terrific summer beer. I had fun listening to some music and chatting w people on FB but as always it does slow down my productivity which already not exactly stellar. But no regrets. I am in hardcore quarantine and frankly going a little nuts ha ha so I need some outlet once in awhile I guess. But we are getting there, things are starting to reopen and even though I will remain cautious I am glad because I am hoping it will alleviate some of these long supermarket lines. Anyway, glad it’s the weekend, nice weather so far. Cheers 🍻
  15. 1 point
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    @LaLa From what I read on the internet there is controversy to this day as to what lyric means.
  16. 1 point
    LaLa

    New age bionic plaque

    Very nice pictures (in the video)! But the song is sometimes a bit weird: "dark satanic mills"??
  17. 1 point
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    Wonderful!
  18. 1 point
    Daveuk

    New age bionic plaque

    UK update on the Corona front The lockdown will eased from 1st June 6 people can meet outside as long as there not from the same house 15th shops and businesses will reopen But the 2 metre rule on social distancing will remain the same
  19. 1 point
    IrmaJean

    what is manliness?

    Hmm...I hope you're okay, Klingsor. Sending along my care.
  20. 1 point
    Please don't minimize the problems of those of us with a small penis. While the poster in question is not really small and needs to realize that, many of us really are small. The social acceptability of "small penis" humor, even in public creates a very serious problem with which victims must deaL.
  21. 1 point
    Victimorthecrime

    Performance anxiety

    Wow. Hopefully there are some rivers or lakes for people to enjoy ‘cause they ain’t driving to the beach anytime soon. Or maybe water parks are a big deal I dunnno.
  22. 1 point
    Couple things.... While I enjoyed a Creighton basketball game and hearty steak dinner in Omaha, this location is not the geographic center of the US. This spot resides in Kansas. #2 If you have had great sex in the past, that tells me you can do it again. Unless your wife has sought other suitors who have given her a different experience in the interim. If not, and you have performance anxiety, I would recommend PDE-5 inhibitors, i.e. viagra, cialis, etc. You get erect more frequently and for longer and might be worth the money. Easy way to be 18 again per your penis. If your back goes out, don't blame me. IMHO, it seems that a physical response can override any psychological hindrance you may have given your admission that you have had a positive sexual experience with your wife in the past.
  23. 1 point
    There will be many, many books, documentaries, articles written about COVID, including the huge baby boom that will be upon the World starting in several months.
  24. 1 point
    Someone should write a book “Love in the time of COVID”.
  25. 1 point
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    Same here my friend. I recall you like to keep to a regular schedule so this disruption must be stressful. Hang in there and try to make the best of it. That’s what I am doing. Being really super lazy this weekend is how I am coping lol. Drinking beer 🍺 and listening to music. My local county has great live open mic FB page where some terrific musicians sing and into the night. They all have Venmo tip jar & I have given a little from time to time. Be curious to hear what other folks are doing to cope w quarantine and the stress of not knowing where this is all headed if anyone cares to share.
  26. 1 point
    Daveuk

    New age bionic plaque

    Am coping UK is still in lockdown
  27. 1 point
    Daveuk

    2nd language

    I talk to a lot of Filipinas in dating groups. And for a long time talked English but thought this time learn Tagalog and talk to them.in their own language. Has 9/10 success rate
  28. 1 point
    Daveuk

    New age bionic plaque

    Salanat = Tagalog for thank you
  29. 1 point
    LaLa

    New age bionic plaque

    Welcome back, Dave!
  30. 1 point
    Daveuk

    New age bionic plaque

    Yes got back on I been trying to get a password reset since last week and no messenger sent back
  31. 1 point
    LaLa

    Quotes you like

    Sam Harris: "Mindfulness is about recognizing that you need not be a hostage to your thoughts. In the default state of mind, it’s as though you’ve been kidnapped by the most boring person on earth and forced to listen to a maniac talk at you all day long. Literally, the conversation starts the moment you wake up and doesn’t end until you fall helplessly asleep at night. Mindfulness offers an alternative to this, but it takes some training to acquire this skill. If you can recognize a thought as a thought, if you can step back and just notice thoughts as mere appearances in consciousness, then you’re free."
  32. 1 point
    Small

    My so called life

    I hope you're keeping well too. You're in my thoughts & prayers.
  33. 1 point
    geronimo

    Morning Limerick

    Even your limerick is about career change 😀 There once was a blogger called Malign, Who saw that the weather was fine, Went out on his way Escaped counselling for the day And found he had a much better time.
  34. 1 point
    dont agree. at least not where I am coming from. there is no mens (just give up the apostrophe 's already like the rest of us) activism. Then support legalized rape and caging women in breeder farms, there are plenty of internet communities that advocate explicitly for it. You won’t be an alpha but you can have his leftovers after he’s reamed his harem out and they’ve bore him 50 children. Exactly the same as it is now...you won’t see a Tinder stud complaining about the status quo. But at least it won’t be a bitch telling you what you can and can’t have. Where I come from there is no such thing as feminism. It doesn’t exist. Shrieking harridans don’t defend the status quo, it’s the boys I went to school with who made sure I was recognized as a member of the “can’t get pussy” club because i refused to be a lickspittle or punching bag. And it’s actually the beta males, the dingleberries who slavishly court jester for their betters that are the vicious ones and end up acting just like the women they hate...they hone their cheap shot skills to a razors edge because they know they’re losers.
  35. 1 point
    I tried once to give up the apostrophe but I just couldn’t.
  36. 1 point
    LaLa

    New age bionic plaque

    For those considering going back to restaurants etc.
  37. 1 point
    malign

    And Another One's Gone ...

    I was surprised the last time I found I hadn't posted here in a year. Now it has happened again. I think part of the reason I turned away from the site is that I turned away from myself, a little. Not consciously, but perhaps I was trying to turn towards whatever the counseling profession was or is, or what I thought it was. It's four years later, and I still haven't finished. I put off the practicum last Fall, and though I took it this Spring, I received a "Does not meet expectations" result, which means I have to retake it in order to move forward. After I retake the practicum, I would have to find and complete an internship somewhere. To the extent that I need a defense, more than half of the semester was spent under a stay-at-home order, and so involved both distance learning and distance counseling. But it's also true that I never managed to relax into just being in session with someone. What remains unclear is whether I will be able to, in the future. I am definitely considering dropping out. I'm obviously resisting the program; whether from personal anxiety or from some nobler dislike for jumping through hoops, I don't know. On the other hand, there's a sizable amount in student loans and four years of my life that would have little to show for it. Still, finances might be better if I went back to computers. Speaking of finances, though, my "day job" of working for a local big-box grocery-and-everything-else store has unexpectedly made me essential in some way that no one would have said I was, before. So, I go to work, full time, with a two-dollar-an-hour raise and a mask on my face, and get thanked by people for doing it. Still, I worry more about people who can't go to work, or who will have to decide between risking their lives and earning a living, soon. Amusingly, we're finding that not everyone can work from home, and even better, that the ones who can't may well be more important in keeping our society running. And don't get me started on how vulnerable this makes us, being dependent on internet connectivity for everything, now. I find myself increasingly discouraged by the evidence that our political system, and for that matter, our reasons for being as a society, are breaking down. Suspicion is not only normal; it's openly expressed at every level of society against every other level. People seem to have stopped admitting even the possibility that other people might have good intentions. A famous dead man said that a house divided against itself cannot stand; he presided over the last civil war. So, back to me, and figuring out which way to turn. Strangely, as I tried to focus on learning how to counsel people, I felt less and less able to keep contact with people I was already involved with. It felt like I needed those resources to work on myself, during a process that undoubtedly induces changes in anyone who goes through it. But I can see now that I lost by doing that; that as I pulled back from the rest of my life, ostensibly to improve it, I made it colder and darker, for myself and for those I abandoned. I thought I had to turn inward (even more than I naturally am), but the truth is that the reasons for living aren't in there. They're in the people out there, who need help. So, I may have to get through some more hoops, but if I do try to, I won't be focused on the hoops as much, any more.
  38. 1 point
    stop the presses!!! are there gay orgies and meth in India? (asked the 1st world person)
  39. 1 point
    Never say anything to a girlfriend that makes you appear vulnerable or weak. Small dicks are perceived as a lack of dominance - a lack of TESTOSTERONE - hence weak. Appearing weak is an indulgence only women are permitted. As a man with a small dick you have two options: totally retreat from the world (which most guys aren’t in a position to do) or work every single day on making yourself physically intimidating. Men only respect dominance so if you lack it in your dick you have to compensate with the intimidation factor. It won’t make the SPS go away or help much with women, but it will limit the amount of disrespect you have to put up with from classmates, friends, coworkers, etc. which will definitely help with your confidence level and give you a simulacrum of the “big dick energy”.
  40. 1 point
    @pinkocean your welcome. And thanks for having a sense of humor. Good luck in your studies.
  41. 1 point
    hahaha, I don't know, I was just thinking. Thank you being honest 😛
  42. 1 point
    That is the worst idea I have ever heard in my life 🤣😂. But seriously, don’t get too deep, too heavily on a girl too early. Remember she’s a friend not a therapist. You don’t want to scare her away. I know because I made that mistake too many times when I was younger. Glad you are doing ok.
  43. 1 point
    I m doing okay honestly. I visited the forum again today because I felt like talking to someone about my day. I m just going to lay it down here.Thanks. I went out on a date-walk with a girl today. I had a nice time with her but I lied about things or actually hid a certain things while talking to her. I feel very guilty of that. She's been really nice and sweet to me. Most importantly, she's been honest. I don't want to lie to her, I wish I could open up more freely. I wish I could just tell her I have this problem. I m not looking for any sexual advantages from her but there is just a certain angst in my chest. I thought of showing her this forum. Do you guys this a good idea ? How would she react ? Is it just too much to share with a person you know only for a little while ? What if she stops talking ? I don't have anything serious for this girl but I don't want to lie anymore. I don't want my self esteem to be build on lies. Like always, thanks for hearing me out.
  44. 1 point
    malign

    And Another One's Gone ...

    Well, the licensing varies somewhat by state ... Here in Michigan, LPC (licensed psychological counselor) is for PhD's and LCSW (licensed clinical social worker) is for those with a master's in Social Work. Other master's level counselors (my program is technically a master's in Counseling Psychology), get an LLPC (limited LPC), which means we have to be supervised by an LPC wherever we work. Which restricts us somewhat to agencies, or private practices willing to provide supervision internally. It's a pain, but then, so is getting a PhD.
  45. 1 point
    Lockdown is hard work, millions of people with anxieties. Some things easing a little here, people going back to work and able to drive further for walking. Some reports that people do not want to go out yet though. Who'd have thought 2020 would have this kind of start? (Wish the planners had.) Laughed at my favourite comedian Romesh's show yesterday, even funny through video link. Sorry you guys are having a tough time 💛
  46. 1 point
    Ok, but there are many reasons a woman might cheat on a man besides penis size.
  47. 1 point
    malign

    A Year Gap

    It's good to hear from you, Jai. At a minimum, it inspired me to post again, about how I haven't been posting. 🙂 Here's to steadfast partners, and friends of all sorts. My wife and I are doing fine, both covid-ly (so far, anyway), and relationally. Learning to be together is constant, as learning to be oneself is. © 2020, Platitudes-R-Us. All rights reversed. We'd love to hear more from you, Jai, whether "out loud" here, or not. You take care, too. Care is what it's all about, after all. (That's it: I could do greeting cards!)
  48. 1 point
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    10-4 to that. Pretty much how I spent my day. Worry about my job security in this downturn, worry about this house & all that it needs, worry about my health as I get older, worry about everything I see other people do that I miss out on. Dave? Dave’s not here🤪
  49. 1 point
    YOTH

    Is my penis too small for my age?

    Like a frightened turtle
  50. 1 point
    Lukaz

    Hey, New Member need someone to hear me

    SPS can be difficult to deal with I understand why you got into bottoming but those guys using g and tina etc are slags who sleep with loads of ppl bareback so you need to be careful about HIV and other SIT's. Perhaps if you are going to continue with that life try to get on prep but in all honesty avoid the chem scene. it is a dark path that is easy to walk down and not so easy to walk back. You and others here are not gonna live the playboy/pornstar life that the big dick guys have but you had a gf and things worked for a time so do not give up hope. It is a challenge and can feel unfair but many people have challenges and work to overcome them. If you do sleep with guys perhaps you can use it in a positive way, i.e. no drugs and only getting sucked off by guys. That might give you some more experience in a dom/top role which can help with you self esteem (you know there are hungry guys out there that will suck pretty much any dick). I think the main issues for many of us is that our condition means we will likely face more rejection than the average dude which does not help when our self esteem is in the shitter but believing in yourself and believing you are more than your dick and you deserve better than a size queen is something worth fighting for even if the fight is difficult and attritional and with unfavourable odds. Keep fighting, don't feel ashamed to masturbate, keep away from chems/hnh shit and work on your fitness. Good luck!
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