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Showing content with the highest reputation since 11/11/2019 in Posts

  1. 2 points
    IrmaJean

    What Music Do You Listen To?

    I have loved Josh Groban since the very first time I heard his voice back in 2001. 3 concerts. Every album. On the day they're released, lol. I do like Michael Buble too. I can't sing, hahaha.
  2. 2 points
    Talking about it is therapuitic. My business partners and friends all know many, but not all of the details mentioned here. Alas, there are two sides to every story, but I tried to be fair and express her feelings/side as well on here as she is quite vocal about her needs/feeling toward me. We just have very different views on happiness for one's life. Unfortunately, there are kids involved, but they seem to be doing ok. Years ago, she called alimony as "combat pay". I wonder if she still feels the same way.
  3. 2 points
    IrmaJean

    What Music Do You Listen To?

    I enjoy Abba.
  4. 2 points
    llbaker

    Rant

    Yes AND the statement regarding his attitude toward sex as a "symbolic" arena in which to compensate for other areas of inferiority might be key. Unlike Reich, who I see you discussed in another thread, did not think sex and certainly not orgasm was important in itself. Interesting that Adler and Reich seemed to split of from Freud in opposite directions! Adler seems to be obsessed with "social betterment" also. Maybe he thought of sex being about rational reproduction and child rearing which you broached with your note regarding "emphasized the procreative aspect with regards to the woman." Maybe Adler tended to reject the sex obsessed as compensating in an anti-social immoral way for their status and physical defects. Adler thought compensation through "good works" lauditory, but through striving for power evil.
  5. 2 points
    Your understanding of BDD is spot-on. I've let my perceived small penis size limit my sexual life severely since I was a teenager. I knew that there was something wrong with this, however, I didn't know how to overcome it. It was only after therapy that now I do realize I have an irrational thought process. Some people may think that SPS is an just an excuse for not living a fulfilling sexual life out of mental weakness. However, in the eyes of the beholder, the obsessive ruminations of never being adequate is ultimately overwhelming. It is obvious that you do not suffer from this and I do wish to achieve your level of self-acceptance. At this point, I am not sure how. It's not like turning on a switch as I wish it was that easy. It would be logical to think that. Being married to someone who capitalized on my insecurities for her benefit has been extraordinarily difficult. But my lack of self-esteem stemming from SPS made it easy for her. While she was clearly in the wrong, I am also to blame for allowing it to happen and for so long. Now, I have to figure out a way to overcome that as well and trust women again. So I'm in a bit of a hole. But, I am getting tired, perhaps many of you as well, of my woe is me posts. Maybe that's a good start.
  6. 2 points
    There are some people who really are small and in your marriage, it’s sure the fuck not you. Small people see the world through a narrow and bitter lens. Internal frustrations and disappointments cause these type of people to attack and humiliate others. These types of people are miserable and often are self-hating so they attack others. I don’t know if this is your wife or not, but it may be. No one can take your happiness and contentment from you unless you allow them to do so over time. I have no idea what kind of person you are but I am certain that your penis size is the least important thing about you. Engage in positive things for yourself. Rebuild your confidence. Fuck self-hatred. The universe is a wonderful place the fact that we even exist as conscious human beings is a miracle. Don’t let anyone else waste your life.
  7. 2 points
    IrmaJean

    I have a small penis

    I should probably also note that this post was written by Dr. Domback when the forum had different ownership and a different name. The forum community existed as part of a different site that also featured articles. When that site sought to remove the community, some of the members got together and moved it here to mental support community.net. Dr. Schwartz and Dr. Domback didn't come with us to the new forum. I hope I am remembering everything accurately.
  8. 1 point
    LaLa

    Wife needing advice

    Yes, people are idiots... (Sorry, I'm just in a mood to say generalizing banal sad truths.)
  9. 1 point
    YOTH

    Speculative Content Thread

    Would you just write a fucking book or something 😂 ever thought about getting a job in accounts?
  10. 1 point
    Although, I'm in a better mind set now than I was 2 months ago, I'm just in no mood to pursue another relationship at this time. I have a lot of healing to do first plus I want to see where I stand after the divorce is final. Before we got married, we talked about waiting maybe 2 or 3 years before we have kids and I believed both of us were on the same page.
  11. 1 point
    KlingBro

    What Music Do You Listen To?

    Basically ^^^. If a song is good, I like it no matter what kind of music it is.
  12. 1 point
    It's hardly fucking poetry though is it, it's just a cunty way of making a point 😂 but I get what you're saying, Vic. I wasn't having a go, I should have added an lol or something. Imagine that shit reversed "Mmm, toad in the hole, kind of a shame that no matter how many toads you add, it never quite fills the hole"
  13. 1 point
    Yes, it does make sense. Women I've been intimate with have opened up and admitted suffering from abuse and a variety of psychological problems. I knew there was something wrong with them and, to put it bluntly, I thought maybe that would lead them to accept me. However, when they got better, partially due to my support often around finishing preparation for their career, they could then see me as I was, a substandard man that was not good for their sexual satisfaction, ego and status. They were not primarily concerned I had a small penis, but dismissive of me not being able to handle it and/or having low sexual drive. My reaction differs from yours only in that I suppressed the feeling of contempt and felt we were birds of a feather made for each other.
  14. 1 point
    uptight outasight

    What if i had a big dick?

    Oh, yeah. A normal or large appearing flaccid would be very helpful. You don't have to show people your erection.
  15. 1 point
    Story in a well respected Danish newspaper today about an Asian complaining about being targeted by men with smaller penises. She is under the impression that it is because of the common belief that Asian women are more likely to accept smaller penises.
  16. 1 point
    Too bad William hasn't returned. I wish he would. I didn't mean to make the thread all about me, but open a discussion about how his problem might be improved or lived with. Though my case was much less dire, I found that "blaming self" was the problem in trying to live with it. I could have lived with it much more easily if I had understood my limitations.
  17. 1 point
    Relationships can feel like perfect love at first even though the sex doesn't work very well. I agree, but it is often not the minor repairable wrinkle they think it will be. This is because the persona is not the self. One or both individuals can be delusional about who her or she is and who the partner is.
  18. 1 point
    LaLa

    recently this cloud has fallen over me..

    Hi, William, welcome! I'm sorry for my late reply. I'm sorry you're feeling so alone, unloved, and confused . You're at a difficult age and things, including making friends, get often better in time. You mentioned you did have friends before, so you're definitely not a person that everyone would like to avoid! Consider what a small "sample" of all people your classmates are! If there isn't anyone that "fits" with you as a friend, it doesn't mean you won't find friends later (if you don't decide not to try anymore). It's a bit similar to finding love. It seems you are somehow different from your classmates. Are there any differences that come in mind, except for having such uncaring parents and not going out? Being "different" doesn't mean being worse or weird. It's just more difficult to form relationships. Do you know about hikikomori? I recommend to you reading about it, for instance here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-23182523 There's something I think you really should try: Psychotherapy. Or, at least, consulting with a school counselor. Does your school have one? In any case, feel free to share more with us. I hope communicating on this forum will be somehow helpful to you (despite the usual lack of activity here these days). Good luck and take care!
  19. 1 point
    KlingBro

    Rant

    There are two types of alpha males: the "gigolo" and the "gorilla". In very rare instances, some men may carry both traits...a "gigorilla", if you will. If you can't get a reputation for being a hung pretty boy, fucking lots of women, satisfying lots of women, etc. then you better be big and savage enough to beat the shit out of any other male that messes with you. Every single boy that isn't a homeschooled, hothouse orchhid learns this by the time he's an adolescent. Or content yourself with being the four-eyed, bookwormy loser who feeds birds during his lunchbreak.
  20. 1 point
    KlingBro

    Rant

    Some of you have led unbelievably insulated lives. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/penis-size-does-matter-in-the-locker-room-at-least-9202855.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ua2XnYlm-o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4DXaKuOAZ0 ("I gave up comparing genitals back in the schoolyard...")
  21. 1 point
    uptight outasight

    Rant

    Yeah, my mother would talk confidentially to me when I was still in grade school and later about inappropriate intimate topics; things we might talk about here or, back then, would be discussed only in therapy or with a very close adult friend. Probably had something to do with the fact she had been addicted to amphetamines since WWII when they were handed out like candy in the military. She continued taking them while pregnant with me which probably had something to do with me being low testosterone and pathologically shy from toddler-hood. People using amphetamines talk too much and do other inappropriate things. She was also plagued by "spells" of semi-conscious paralysis which she said always occurred during sex. She said my father who never had a date of any kind with a woman until he was 30 with my mother. She told me he had grave difficulties maintaining achieving and maintaining an erection and that she was lucky to get pregnant the first time. She also revealed he had no problems being a leader in athletic competition and team sports, but had grave problems with social phobia when they first married though he had overcome it as he aged. I could go on and on. . . It was always clear to me he had a very small flaccid penis as compared to other athletic men when I accompanied him to the YMCA and on other occasions. He seemed totally oblivious and was perceived as a nice tough guy. When I was high school and college age, both of us togetherer were subjected to mild penis size ribbing in locker rooms by his friends and associates on several occasions over the years. The ribbing, on the surface, appeared to roll off him like water off a ducks back. He claimed that it was ridiculous to be ashamed of your body and seemed to purposely train me from a young age by attending the YMCA (they had nude male swimming then--no women were allowed in the Y as now) with him not to be sensitive about your body. Of course, it had the opposite effect. He never breathed a word about penis size to me.
  22. 1 point
    I dunno, if you eat enough of the fucking things, anything can be a main course. Either way, she seemed to dig his groove. But I wish I'd saved myself, every encounter before my missus was pretty disastrous.
  23. 1 point
    Wow. Because egg rolls are an appetizer, not the main course. She was at least a poetic woman.
  24. 1 point
    YOTH

    Mom's reaction...

    Unfortunately my Judus of a body isn't loyal, so as soon as I'm moving, the blood is diverted from my penis where it's so desperately needed straight to my heart to keep my fat, lard arse alive. Luckily Viagra works it's magic there, so I can be mid heart attack and breathing like an asthmatic walrus and still saluting the ceiling. It's a wonder drug.
  25. 1 point
    But WHY are we bombarded? You either have to admit that it is a fundamental desire of human sexuality or there is some byzantine, conspiratorial reason to sell the videos and advertise it for purposes other than....advertising. Which I'm sure as a man of science, you'd ridicule the latter possibility. A definitive, comprehensive, conclusive study answering the clitoral vs vaginal orgasm question would put an end to this BS once and for all. But I doubt it will ever happen. As incredible as it may seem, I am not disputatious simply for the sake of it. I cannot understand this bootstrap mentality of self-blame and rollover to the status quo. Every time. I have been reading these mental contortions for five years, and it is truly unbelievable. In fact, I have to come to think this phenomena is more worthy of study than small penises themselves. I'm done, I'll stop posting to your thread. I will never understand this mentality.
  26. 1 point
    KlingBro

    My Friend Tom

  27. 1 point
    @Under5 I'll take the reduced I.Q. for an extra 3" please, Bob. I probably wouldn't miss it with all the fucking I'd be doing. Plus, as I've never checked my I.Q. I wouldn't know if any was missing 😂 now that's low I.Q. logic
  28. 1 point
    @YOTH - good to hear from you & hope all is well. More trouble at the bridge I hear ☹️. Not familiar w Thomas Maw but will check him out. I used to be a workout lunatic but I am 57 and have slowed down but I still do what I can. I have a desk job so it’s important to get moving as much as possible. I was bullied as a child and that plus fear of being drafted got me lifting weights back in the 70s. I remember taking this Bob Hoffman’s protein powder and it drinking crushed up drywall lol
  29. 1 point
    Look up a guy named Rich Piana. World famous and admitted steroid heavy user. Died while wife was cutting hair. Autopsy found heart 3X normal size I believe. A legal supplement called DIM can lower estrogen, if anyone is interested in that. Some say testosterone production can be promoted by squatting, especially w a wide stance and by the horse stance: https://gethealthyu.com/exercise/horse-pose/
  30. 1 point
    BTW: A subtle difference I noticed after I started to supplement T was a much higher tolerance for truth. Prior to supplementing, I had a very rationalized view of my sexual performance. After I started supplementing I became aware I couldn't make my wife orgasm through penetration, but only through oral service. I should have known this before, but couldn't tolerate the thought. Though I often got her "hot and juicy" during penetration it felt like I was stirring a giant pot of warm syrup with a little spoon and she never had contractions or other indications of orgasm. Before, I chose to think she had an orgasm. On testosterone I simply and naturally asked her what she wanted when that hot instead of futilely stirring until I finally came only with difficult as there was no friction. She said "give me head" which easily took her over the hump to spectacular orgasm. This was great at first, but after a time I started to resent the one-sidedness of our sex and soon lost interest altogether.
  31. 1 point
    YOTH

    Surgery

    I heard about an implant a while ago but I haven't heard anything since. You'd think they'd be working on it like the cure for fucking cancer but they're taking their sweet arse time. This is why stem cell research should be legal, so we can design and grow our own penis which can then be grafted on.
  32. 1 point
    Under5

    Gym this Evening

    So, I went to the gym with my wife this evening. It’s always busy during the weekday evenings. Today was our leg workout. Typically, when it’s less busy I wear semi fitted, short shorts. I decided to wear them anyways tonight even it’s fairly obvious if someone looks that I have small penis. The shorts are otherwise perfect for leg workouts. I’m sure people noticed. I was fine with it. Then, in the shower I was around well endowed men and still felt secure about myself. There was even a client of mine who’d never seen my naked who was clothed and just started to talk to me when I was starkers. I was good with that too. I’m at peace with my penis because there is so much more to who I am than my genitals. I share this because it’s been a journey for me and I’ve found contentment. I hope others who are small like me can reach some semblance of peace.
  33. 1 point
    uptight outasight

    Gym this Evening

    You are way above average in length, but on the thin side which some women even prefer. You can "reach" and do the rest by moving. People enjoy putting others down, so you can't go by comments about celebrities. Many think, "How dare so and so be a celebrity and not be extraordinarily well hung?" Flaccid dimensions don't tell much about erect size anyway. Maybe Greeks were "growers" by genetics to a greater extent than other ethnicities. If you are larger than most statures flaccid you have nothing to worry about. Try being a retractor like me whose penis often retracts totally into my body giving the impression I must have a micro erections (below 2.75 or some such).
  34. 1 point
    uptight outasight

    Gym this Evening

    Google phallic religion, phallicism, phallus worship, etc. You will be stunned. \ Some have jumped to the conclusion that because flaccid penises are often small or average on Greek and Roman statues, their cultures did not venerate the large penis. Not exactly. They did did associate the giant penis with the primitive barbarian tribes they often warred against. They associated the large penis with intemperance and irrationality, ie. rampaging primitives often worship phallic totems, etc. Plus, they perceived African and Middle East civilization perhaps as being better endowed. So, did they really not value the large penis? Hmm! Sounds to me much like the attitude of the South toward Black slaves. Ever read the novel, Mandingo?
  35. 1 point
    BTW: Seems to me that psychoanalysis of the Freudian, Jungian, Reichian and Adlerian types are almost banned at the modern university. Instead of analyzing personality and behavior as reaction formations in the context of genetic endowment and environment, people are now advised to simply look deeply into their feelings and experiences and accept one or more of the 100 or more genders and sexual orientations that seem to fit. Evil to submit sexual orientation and personality to analysis. Insulting and unjustified.
  36. 1 point
  37. 1 point
    I think you're about right there in some cases at least.
  38. 1 point
    Victimorthecrime

    I have a small penis

    I think he was already gone before I got here which is a shame because he was legit and pretty sharp judging from old posts. Back then the forum was lively about a variety of topics. SPS was one of many. Not sure why but I think this type of chat room communication is not very popular because people love the bells & whistles that you get w Reddit or Twitter or whatever. I don’t like the format of either of those. I remember when I first got on-line in 2001 chat rooms and bulletin boards were all the rage on Yahoo, MSN, etc. I like the simplicity and privacy of it but not others do not I guess.
  39. 1 point
    I didn't tak eit personally, but thank you for mentioning it. I know Tom did speak up and was dismissed . I meant not just some individuals occasionally talking about their problems, but many people, explaining these issues as clearly as many of you do here. I had no idea . At the same time, I think this still means they do not know, because they don't really understand; if they did, they would have a very different opinion, approach, and reaction. Yes, I agree. BTW, I once (2 years ago?) e-mailed somewhere (I don't want to mention where, because I don't want to "spoil their image" / "shame them") - to "some" people who make popular YouTube videos about psychology - and I sent them a link to this SPS forum and asked them if they would make a video about this subject. I didn't get any answer. At the same time, I don't think such a video would make a big difference, but still... They probably just didn't know what exactly to say about it, how to present it. (Just BTW: Thank you; I'm glad I give / create such impression. I guess I'm not "too bad" nor "bad in general", yes. But I'd like to be better (kinder, more sensible, ...) in so many ways... Never mind. Sorry for not resisting the "urge" to mention it.) Take care, everyone.
  40. 1 point
    This is the standard of care for these types of psychoses. It doesn't mean they will be successful or acceptable to the patient. I'm on 50mg of zoloft and it has helped somewhat to quell my self negative rumination. I don't care about libido because I'm just in no mental state to start a relationship at this moment. I'm a very logical person. We were all born from the DNA lottery pool and we physically developed from that gamete exchange. It's up to us to make decisions based on the hand we were dealt with. There is no instruction booklet, no manual to refer to. Some succeed, some don't. It's up to us, alone, to figure it out. Some will, some won't. We all on our death bed will have regrets, some more than others, and some of those, were predestined from the moment we came out of our Mothers. It is those phenotypes you can't change, but free will can modify your perception of those realities. This is the crux of life.
  41. 1 point
    It seems to me that it is the lack of awareness caused by the reticence of most men to discuss this topic. I saw several men here mentioning something of the kind that they "couldn't" speak to a therapist about this problem because they "wouldn't be understood"; but how can the mental-health-care community learn about the issue when nobody talks about it (to them or somewhere where they could see / hear it)? Just imagine the world where nobody with some different kind of problem wouldn't speak openly about it, seek help for it etc. - would you expect there being awareness and available (specialized) help? I don't blame the men suffering from SPS. I see that their issue itself prevents them from talking about the issue. At the same time, I feel partially responsible. Because it seems to me that probably the only people who could now create the awareness and advocate for change and better help would be women who, thanks to forums like this one, understand what a huge problem it is for quite many people. Yet, there's another problem: If the woman is married / in a relationship, then such 'advocacy' would lead people to believe she's doing it "for her partner", which would, in this horrible world, as you know, bring a lot of stigma to that partner (even if he wasn't 'small' at all). That's also my problem . Yet, I could do it somehow anonymously. I just don't know how (yet?). I think I should find a way... Any ideas how to do it?
  42. 1 point
    @Toosmallforcomfort Why do you think this problem is ignored or dismissed by the medical community? It affects the lives of many men to the extent that some have committed suicide. Here is how Wikipedia categorizes a disability due to mental illness (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_disorder#Signs_and_symptoms) - Personally, SPS has affected all three bullet points of my life (especially occupational functioning), and I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that most men who post or visit this forum can claim impairment in at least one or two of these criteria. Is it simply lack of awareness? I find this explanation difficult to accept. Or is it due to the reticence most men have discussing this topic openly? Or something else entirely? I'd like your thoughts.
  43. 1 point
    She is a mean spirited human being to say such things. You are entitled to enjoy your sexuality too. What has she done to enhance your sexual satisfaction? Your size is not the “problem”. She seems so self-absorbed that she is incapable of sexual intimacy and wants only physical rubbing or friction. That’s boring as hell being with a woman like that. Oral, digital, anal, etc, are all fun as hell and don’t need a big penis. You can use extending sleeves at times, dildoes, et for additional play fun.
  44. 1 point
    toulouse_lautrec

    Mom's reaction...

    If you're over 5 inches, you have "small penis syndrome", not a small penis. It's all in your mind. I have a 4 inch penis, so I really have a small penis. We have two entirely different problems.
  45. 0 points
    uptight outasight

    Wife needing advice

    Yes, I found this to be true when I argued these issues at LPSG, the large penis support group. Any woman or man who had any sort of a discrimination issue, be it racial, ethnicity, looks, injuries, sexual preference, transgenderism, diseases, etc were totally outraged. But they would give NO QUARTER to my ideas and insisted sps was, at best, a mental illness and, at worst, a moral fault deserving severe reprimand and/or isolation from humanity, Even for men with really small genitals, they refused to admit the concept of handicap. Any suggestion that a real small penis was a real physical handicap or that penis inferiority complexes for the above average were imposed by society's disparagement of the small through vicious humor and discrimination was greeted with HATRED! They claimed I was the one insulting men with a small penis by claiming oppression where there were none! They said I was the one libeling the small and promoting hate of the small.
  46. 0 points
    The thing that terrified me the most from that experience is how easy it was for her to totally fabricate a domestic violence story around me, the abusive boyfriend, because people wanted to believe I was the “angry little man”. She had strategically let my sexual inadequacies slip around friends and that’s all it took. If I had not had proof of her habitual, compulsive lying and proof that what she had said about me was false, I honestly don’t know where it would have stopped. She had absolutely no remorse whatsoever, did not care how it destroyed my life. I honestly have PTSD from her. It was a waking nightmare the whole time we were together. If you are average in looks and/or below average in bed, you young guys be especially careful. No amount of caution is too much.
  47. 0 points
    On Sept 1st, she made an ultimatum, either I leave the house or she leaves. We have a 14 year old daughter and 11 year old son. I left and stayed with my Mom for a few weeks until I found a residency. It was within a week she was traveling an hour and a half to meet and live her new boyfriend. Since then, she has been up there when I have the kids which we have made an agreement before the divorce of trying to make it as equitable as possible for the children. She retired from her job approximately 4 years ago and she does not need to work for financial means. I work full time so therefore she has the kids mainly during the week and I have them on the weekends and during the week when I have days off. Perhaps TMI, but this is my current life.
  48. 0 points
    Yes, I have heard that reaction as well from several women that I communicate with over the internet. They insist their husband is gay and can't understand he might have small penis lack of confidence or be a low testosterone male which I have suggested given the facts they rendered and my experience.
  49. 0 points
    YOTH

    My Friend Tom

    @LaLa His best friend was the only other person who gave a shit, he knew as many details as I did in the beginning, we both couldn't understand it. But as more information came to light he kept me informed. He also gave the police my number so I told them as much as I knew, which wasn't much. I searched for him on Facebook at first and thankfully found him on a tribute page. The medical failures came from the tribunal held to find out how it happened and why. After being unjustly labeled a wife beater, his friend went on to BBC radio 4 after the tribunal and put the facts straight. Everything that happened is in the public domain, most of it was in the papers. But the real gritty details came out during the investigation and his friend told me a lot of it. I still stay in touch with him occasionally, he sent me a picture of their graves next to eachother. At least they were put to rest together.
  50. 0 points
    Renni.cl

    I am the problem

    Hi everyone. It has been a while since I last did one of these. I am writing this because I am having somr problem in my life in general, and today my parents went to my school to talk about it and then they had a long talk with me. Long story short, I am the problem in my life. It is not new, I havw known it for a while. I guess what makes me sad is that I am not accepted because of my personality or my mental dissorders. I dont know what I should do. My parents wont take me to any more therapies and what does one do with problems? One ends them, but how am I going to get rid of the problem if I am the problem? I guess I am back to where i once was, accepting that I have to make myself small in order to not cause any more problems.
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