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  1. 4 points
    malign

    Vocational Rehabilitation

    "Vocation" originally meant the calling that priests were expected to feel when they chose to enter the priesthood. It only later came to mean whatever career a person chose. I chose to make a right turn fairly late in my life, and go from a quarter century or so of computer programming to a new profession, psychological counseling. The change required that I get at least a master's degree, which at my age is probably as far as I will go. What made me decide to make such a change? Well, some of the events in my own life, which are largely detailed elsewhere in this blog, gave me some experience with psychology, from the user's perspective, you could say. Verbal abuse, depression and suicidality, and a drawn-out divorce made me aware that there had to be more to life than programming. And, coming to the site during that period, I learned a bit about helping and being helped. Programming isn't much of a legacy compared to that. The path to the degree has been long: four years and counting. The subjects taught were not clear-cut like the ones in my biology undergrad schooling. The classes had varying amounts of "experiential" learning, which seems to have meant that we taught each other. I have failed courses (before this one), something that isn't like me. I put off applying to the practicum several times, tiding myself over with an elective course so that my student loans wouldn't come due. Clearly, then, I have shown some resistance to finishing the program. Now it will take at least another year to graduate, and then I have to get licensed. Anxiety accounts for some of the resistance, at least. The fact that, even when I'm licensed, I will have to be supervised throughout my career is another burden that slows me down. The profession also won't be as lucrative as if I had continued programming, and hey, who doesn't like money? My advisor, even before I was admitted into the program, remarked that I didn't have the same kind of enthusiasm that other students had coming in, mostly just having graduated with psychology degrees. I pointed out, essentially, that I was twice their age and so could be expected to be roughly half as naive, I mean optimistic. I used better words, because he let me in, but I haven't become less cynical. Interestingly, I chose counseling as the way to help because I had experience with (receiving) it over most of my life, and I assumed that was how people get helped. I only realized, this last semester during one of my supervision sessions, that counseling was not, in fact, what helped me through the worst of my own time. It was this site! (The people really.) That startling idea has at least opened my mind to consider other helping options, even if I finish the counseling degree. It probably plays no small part in my reasons for coming back.
  2. 4 points
    The truth is, it's a numbers game. It's just a case of whether you can survive the process. For every 8-9 that say it's a deal-breaker, there's one who doesn't care. But 4-5-6-7 brutal rejections can be too much for a guy. If you really want to play the numbers, then put your size in your profile. That way you can sift through the size queens and women who think talking about size is in poor taste and wait out for the girls who aren't fussed. It'd save a lot of hassle and pain. And I've seen it time and time again with lads in here, they do meet girls who don't care, they're more common than we're led to believe. If I was dating again, that's what I'd do, I'd tell them from the beginning so there's no pressure with the reveal. Personally I think the reveal is a major factor of all failures when dating with SPS, it can be unbelievably overwhelming and in some cases an out of body experience, except you're stuck in your body and it's all fucking consuming. But nothing will ever change unless you take control, which I know is easier said than done, but what's the alternative? Except more of the same....
  3. 4 points
    Klingsor

    Wife needing advice

    @Sheepish Attempting to talk to any man except a gay man about this will lead to a hamster wheel of comedic deflection, denials, and bullshit. Men are intrinsically resistant to discussing or admitting anything that may give the perception of weakness or inferiority. This itself is not unrelated to the phallus issue. This is why I can post the article above in size 500 font and it will be ignored or denied. But everyone knows it. Some argue locker room/sports culture and banter its more of a Western, Anglo-American thing. Perhaps so. But phallic symbolism is universal.
  4. 4 points
    Klingsor

    Wife needing advice

    @Sheepish This article will explain how SPS operates: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/penis-size-does-matter-in-the-locker-room-at-least-9202855.html Are you going to suggest that all these professional athletes are "gay"? The overwhelming majority of men would rather swallow bleach than ever admit this to anyone, but men crotch check and look at one another's equipment. A man's identity is wholly vested in his penis. It becomes the primary dominance trait in establishing a pecking order. Bigger is better. It is the symbol of male potency and vitality. Women struggle to understand this because they fail to understand that this problem centers around other males. I personally know at least 2 members of this forum who have had sexually successful relationships with women - the women were satisfied, content, in love - yet who still are eaten alive by this insecurity. Other posts made by transient members also reflect this reality. How can this be if it is not a problem among MEN? It also must be remembered that the majority of porn is generally claimed to be produced for men. If this is indeed true, then why is there so much "big cock"..."massive cock"...."huge cock" type tags, if this isn't something that men find arousing on some level? Are all of these men gay? Even everyday language reflects the common perception of a man's penis as his "tool" or his "equipment". It's no different than two boys on the playground seeing who has the bigger toy. It seems nearly impossible to make women understand this. Men are competitive by nature. Only MGTOW cultists and other kumbaya nutjobs deny it. Homosexual relationships are defined on this principle...dick size is the only currency in the gay hookup world because it's basically the symbol of male potency which most gay men feel they lack in some way. Just because your husband sent some pics online doesn't mean he's gay and wants to be in a relationship with another man. You have to realize that he feels insecure, ineffectual, and trouble identifying as a man. Because everything in our culture is phallo-centric. Everything. The pressure on men to conform to this ideal is overwhelming. Speaking from experience, if this episode is going to remain on your mind, if you're constantly going to be asking yourself if he's gay/not gay, the two of you should consider splitting up. He will never get rid of this insecurity, and I have yet to find a woman who understands this problem deep enough to be able to live with it for extended periods of time.
  5. 4 points
    Small

    whining thread

    It's 2 years tomorrow that we lost our friend Resolute. RIP We miss you.
  6. 3 points
    IrmaJean

    New age bionic plaque

    The Memorial Day weekend was as crazy busy as ever where I work. We wear masks and most of the customers do as well, there is plexiglass, we are sanitizing frequently.... Today was the first day in 2 1/2 months there were no new cases in our county. We are in a lull with the virus here at the moment, but I don't think this is over. I don't think we should let our guard down either, but things are moving in a positive direction with gradual reopening. Let's hope this continues. I'm sorry you were locked out, Dave. I never received any messages about it, but glad to see you back again. I hope everyone is staying healthy and hanging in there.
  7. 3 points
    Catmom

    Performance anxiety

    I don't think this forum has many posters these days. I used to be a moderator of it over 10 years ago so I got an email regarding your topic, which requires approval. I have definitely approved it because you have a legitimate emotional difficulty that is worthy of attention. I hope I am not the only responder to your post but if I am I hope you don't take it personally. Nowadays, I participate in many very active support communities on reddit.com . There are probably several forums for you to seek guidance but one subreddit you can try is at r/smallpenisproblems . As a woman, I can tell you honestly that most women couldn't care less what size your flaccid penis is and that the teasing you got is very similar to the awful teasing that most people experience in their lives. All we can do is try to overcome the foolishness. It seems that common and immature human nature is to attack others to try to elevate one's own ego, Good luck and best wishes from Omaha, Nebraska, the geographic center of the U.S.
  8. 3 points
    IrmaJean

    New age bionic plaque

    Hello all. How is everyone holding up? I hope everyone is as good as they can be under these circumstances. I think of everyone. We are holding up as okay as possible. Still healthy, thankfully. We are fortunate enough to still have work, but at the same time, it's a little frightening to be working with the public as much as we are. The virus, though down in the state in general, has remained steady in my area, unfortunately. A local young policeman just died due to this, very sad. I honestly don't think this thing is going away anytime soon. I think we may need to adjust to a new normal. We see this often in life on a personal level, but the scope of this is nothing I have seen before during my lifetime. The ironic part for me, as a person who has struggled with anxiety for much of my lifetime, is I feel strong and ready to face this, as best as I can. I think maybe now that I'm an old timer and have lived through the things I have feared most (namely losing loved ones), I'm less anxious. Control what you can and do your best to adjust to the rest. My biggest fear is bringing this home to one of the girls, but we are being as careful as we possibly can. Sending everyone strength, care, and love.
  9. 3 points
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    @Klingsor on a more serious note please seek help if you think for a second you might need it. Not sure what your health insurance situation is but providers both in and out of network are offering therapy and prescriptions via Skype, Zoom or just phone call. Many offer sliding scale because their business has been hit. This is one of the few things I actually know about because it is part of what I do for a living. Just do a search. Where there is a will there is a way.
  10. 3 points
    Klingsor

    New age bionic plaque

    The fruits of high finance. Why worry about manufacturing when you can wave a debt lever like a magic wand and create wealth out of nothing?
  11. 3 points
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    Could not agree more @Klingsor. It’s the same here. Our governor has issued a decree that everyone must wear masks in public and specifically when going in stores. We will see what compliance is like. If people get on board w the measures needed to slow transmission we could end this sooner rather than later. Hope you’re doing as well as can be expected Klingsor. I hope everyone is doing well also.
  12. 3 points
    Klingsor

    New age bionic plaque

    Here is an excellent article about making your own face mask at home...no sewing machine, trips to hobby lobby, or craft making skills required: https://blog.japanesecreations.com/no-sew-face-mask-with-handkerchief-and-hair-tie I had a couple of construction masks (N95) but decided to donate them instead of wearing it in public because I am a magnet for nutcases who would take the opportunity to cause a scene about it. I honestly see no issue with the general public using a cloth fabric like a handkerchief to stop airborne droplets since many people are filthy and never cover their mouths when coughing or sneezing, and I’ve worked with numerous individuals who experience some sort of horror at washing their hands after defecation 🤢. If the virus is so infectious that it can simply float through the air like a predator waiting to strike then I see no point to any of it because you would basically need to wear a scuba (positive pressure) mask 24-7.
  13. 3 points
    geronimo

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    Best wishes to you, IJ, it must be very concerning to say the least. What's it like at work now? jazz
  14. 3 points
    LaLa

    New age bionic plaque

    Hello! Sorry for not posting here these days - it didn't occur to me that I might make some people worry! I live in Canada and I'm not worried much about Canada and myself here, while I'm quite worried about my home country and my family there. My husband works from home since the cases started appearing "around" (not far away from our town). I'm still doing volunteering at least once a week; we have special measures taken, so I hope it's relatively safe (certainly more that going shopping ...). Most of our volunteers are around 70, so... I hope the younger ones of us can replace them (so far, many of them still come). I have to go now, I hope I'll write more another time...
  15. 3 points
    IrmaJean

    New age bionic plaque

    I have been carefully monitoring the news for months about the coronavirus. I think it is wise to be prepared, this virus is concerning. It can spread while those who are infected are still asymptomatic. The potential strain on the healthcare system and the ripple effect is alarming. I live in New York in the US and nearby counties have cases. My daughter's school has been cancelled through early April. My son is on lockdown in his CA apartment. I work in retail so I have an elevated risk. That being said, I think it makes sense to be rational as much as possible. Listen to the scientists, heed their advice, help one another as much as possible...we will get through this. Stay well everyone.
  16. 3 points
    YOTH

    Struggling 😣😞😢

    Hey, Emed. Sorry you're having a tough time, it's shit, there's no two ways about it. Congratulations on losing weight and looking better, that's a difficult thing to achieve, I've struggled with weight loss for years, so I take my hat off to you. There's no easy way of saying this, but as painful as it is, you're going to have to let the woman (whoever that is) make the decision of whether your size is an issue. For some women it is, but for other women it isn't. I've been with both and it's just something we have to deal with, it's an unavoidable experience. But I can tell you for a fact that some women do see beyond size and genuinely don't care. And when you meet a woman who you love and she loves you, it's worth the pain and is one hell of a lot better than suicide. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't genuinely considered suicide (for more reasons than just SPS) but ultimately there is always an outcome out there better than that is just waiting to be found. I'm in the middle of one of the darkest periods I've ever been in, and I still believe in hope. Don't give up, Emed. So many people have given up, be one of the success stories. If you ever need somebody to talk to, on here or over voice chat, just let me know. I'm still in a lot of pain from Tom's death, I see that more and more every day. It's something I still carry around with me. If there are people out there who care about and love you and will miss you if you're gone, just know that a part of them dies as well when someone commits suicide. You were dealt a shitty card, I get that, arguably shittier than mine and I understand that too, but I think we should just own it. It is what it is, we can't change it, but we can change how it makes us feel. Anyway, I'm rambling, but reach out to me if you want.
  17. 3 points
    Daveuk

    Its been a while

    Everything is going good I can now make from scratch fudge, toad in the hole, chicken and mushroom pie, apple crumble
  18. 3 points
    @JOHNSON CAMPBELL - I took a programming course w this guy named Fred and this cat was way over on the spectrum. He was smart enough to realize he had a problem w loneliness & what he did was join groups that had a specific purpose. That eased interaction by directing attention to the subject of the group. For example he was fascinated w trains and ships. He would join groups that would share pictures, stories, news, and would (I kid you not) go watch trains at various locations. As you can imagine it was a major sausage fest but it was fun and he did make friends. I am much older than you and I don’t even have family checking up on me. I only have 2 friends that I actually see, and handful of others that I keep in touch w on line but rarely see in real life. The difference w me is that I grew up an only child and am comfortable w my own company. But like you I would like to have more friends. Good luck!
  19. 3 points
    He probably is, but I'll let him speak for himself. Sounds like excellent advice to me. I frankly think us smaller guys have to date people that aren't into the recreational competitive sex derby and don't want to be because they have other values in life and want a partner with whom to share those values. I don't think there are many people into recreational competitive sex for whom size is totally irrelevant even if they say so. I know. I'm saying the actually small aren't suitable for the sex derby unless you have nerves and a mind like a steel trap. Looking back, though I thought the opposite, I really wanted to be in the derby and couldn't accept I just wasn't suited, not just for penis size reasons, but for temperament reasons as well. So, in addition to stating size, you might consider stating the kind of value structure you would want in a partner and the kind of life you would like to have. Woops! Not a dating or hook-up site! I guess there are partner or match maker sites as well.
  20. 3 points
    YOTH

    It's ok here, but not here?

    I recently went to Edinburgh for a Christmas holiday. In part because I love the city, but also because it was the last place I saw Tom alive and I didn't want his memory to prevent me from visiting. I wanted to remember him how he was then instead of the images that I'd conjured up about his death. All in all, the trip was lovely, everyone had a good time. And although it was freezing and we were all tired afterwards the weather held out enough to enjoy the city (which is amazing at Christmas) without having to hide from the rain etc. I decided to book the dungeons for me and my kid as it'd been the one place I'd never visited. I thought it was an actual dungeon experience, I mean it's an unbelievably old city with an amazing history, but these dungeons were made of plastic and full of amateur actors getting in your face and shouting right in your ear. I fucking hated it, but luckily avoided being singled out. Eventually we get to the torture chamber and some over acting woman starts to show everyone the torture methods. She picked a guy from the audience at random and had him sit in the torture seat. She then proceeds to pull out the penis chopper, everyone is laughing and the guy is visibly uncomfortable. Then she pulls out a tiny version of the device and says "this is more your size". He shifts about embarrassed as she says "count the inches with me". She shouts 'ONE' and closes it shut shouting "HE'S DONE!" Everyone laughs hysterically, except him. He looked mortified. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful that it wasn't me, because I was. There was no shaming of the women, it was just implied that one woman was a drunk, but in a very jovial 'obviously a joke' way. And now that guys face is etched in my brain as I could instantly tell that it effected him. Tom didn't go to the dungeons as far as I can remember, but if he had, it'd have taken months for him to recover from something like that. But seriously, imagine taking out a breast clamp and making a size comment, or talking about her vagina, there'd be fucking uproar. But it's just 'a laugh' if it's a man. My actual opinion of comedy is that everything can and must be joked about. No point enjoying the show or a movie until a joke feels personal then complaining, just let it pass. And I don't have an issue with penis size jokes, comedy is either for everyone and everything or it dies. But what I don't like is this bullshit where its ok here, but over here it's offensive and degrading. Don't we deserve the same safeguards when we're out and about? It's inappropriate to allow kids inside and then make penis size jokes anyway, it could be seriously damaging, especially if they're teenagers who already have the seeds of an issue. Stand up is one thing, but in a family show where only men are singled out for a joke about their dick size is fucked up, and it's only getting worse. Can't make a gay joke, can't make a joke about race, can't mention a woman's bits, but men on a whole and their dicks, that's fair game. Well fuck that. It's either all ok or none of it is.
  21. 3 points
    uptight outasight

    Rant

    I think I was making the same point in my characteristic rationalized intellectual way. "Smart" is pretty delusional if what I said has merit. What might look like smart is often actually delusional rationalization of dumb defense mechanisms.
  22. 3 points
    I have always been very interested in whether it is in fact natural selection that has made human genitalia proportionally oversized. is there a limit to how large the penises of future man can/will be? does the vaginas grow in size accordingly ? will future man just be a penis, nothing else?
  23. 3 points
    Klingsor

    whining thread

  24. 3 points
    Daveuk

    My attempt at homemade potato salad

    Behold my 3rd attempt
  25. 2 points
    Klingsor

    New age bionic plaque

    @Victimorthecrime I appreciate the advice and thanks for caring. I finally got my mower running smoothly and drove to an elderly relative of mine to do some yard work and other odd jobs for her this afternoon, so I was able to get out into the fresh air and get some sunshine. Plus I worked up a sweat which I think is healthy both physically and psychologically. It made me feel better. My problems would still be here even without Covid, it just makes everything worse. Plus the instability, job worries, etc. I was just whining. I'm thankful and fortunate that I can still get out and drive around relatively unrestricted, I still have food to eat and clean water to drink. I have electricity. It could be much worse. So I'm trying not to worry about the future, but that's hard for me to do. I'll stop polluting Daveuk's thread. Days upon days locked inside you get tired of hearing your own thoughts and so it's tempting to get on here and bitch and complain. Thanks again, I appreciate it.
  26. 2 points
    LaLa

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    Then I'm even more glad to see you've chosen one as your avatar here! Thank you. The account that sent it is already flagged as spammer. Sorry about such spam, everyone. We can delete the spam-posts from the forum before anyone else sees them, but private messaging doesn't allow this kind of protection, unfortunately. And someone apparently realized that and took advantage...
  27. 2 points
    geronimo

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    You too, IJ. You are doing a valuable job, best wishes with it all 🎖️
  28. 2 points
    Klingsor

    New age bionic plaque

    @jazz the only thing that’s changed where I live is that restaurants have closed their dining rooms (takeout only), grocery stores have trimmed their hours, and schools are closed. Hospitals, care facilities etc have added visiting protocols. Other than that nothing has changed. Think of the sheer terror this virus would have caused had it been a genital rotting virus...they would have barricaded themselves in concrete vaults for years if necessary.
  29. 2 points
    Victimorthecrime

    New age bionic plaque

    Here’s my question: why as a society do we have experts, well paid experts, only to disregard them in a crisis? There are proven methods to controlling an outbreak: 1) Halt inbound infections 2) everyone gets a face mask 3) Test everyone 4) rigorous contact tracing 5) Pay for tests, treatment and quarantine 6) Collect the data and share it
  30. 2 points
    yes yes. we are a superior race..... specifically who were the nordics? were they all Swedes? it wasnt a study per se I referred to. just a bar diagram comparing European penis averages. swedes has slightly larger than Danes. the brutish Icelanders has the largest.
  31. 2 points
    Klingsor

    New age bionic plaque

    Very interesting. I caught the last 20 minutes or so, I'll have to catch up on his other videos. Like everyone else I've been thinking in terms of supply, but a lack of demand has the same effect. What good is a check in the mail - purchasing power - when there's nothing to purchase because everything is closed or shuttered? They might as well nationalize industry and ration everything because that's the only thing the money will be good for...credits to obtain living rations. These stimulus packages from the Fed will do nothing except drive inflation or am I missing something? So people can make 1 more month of rent or mortgage. But they keep extending the scope of the containment period...first it was 8 weeks, then it was August, now I'm reading 2 YEARS in some estimates. There is no recovery from that. Small and medium business will be decimated. People don't understand that a modern economy is nothing but numbers, digits. It's tied to nothing. Consumerism and number juggling is what keeps it running. When there are no consumers, what happens? It fails. Wishing everyone good health, and I'm glad we are still able to chat online. I hope things do return to some semblance of normalcy but I'm doubting it more and more. It's taken my mind off my small penis for a while though, so there's that. 🙄
  32. 2 points
    Klingsor

    The Man Cave

    I’ll say one last thing about this. Through a relative of mine, I grew up in a position to know several men of the “greatest generation”. These were men who grew up during the Depression and saw service in WW2. Because I was very mature for my age they tolerated me being around them and I enjoyed sitting and listening to their stories. In general, they tended to act differently than men of subsequent generations. At least in public they weren’t as boorish and just had more class regardless of social status. They always tucked their shirts in, combed their hair and presented themselves well groomed. They weren’t as selfish and most of them had a very low tolerance for BS. They also knew the difference between camaraderie and “brruuuhh” “bro” “let’s run a train on that bitch Braaahh” . They enjoyed sharing coffee and visiting with each other and then when it was over going back home to their wives and family. I never felt threatened or vulnerable around them and really enjoyed talking with them as I got older. Everything didn’t revolve around organized sports fanaticism...athletics were games for developing children and young boys not grownups. They had a way of stating things as a matter of fact that wasn’t meant to be taken as an insult. That was the masculinity I always tried to emulate but it just made me look strange and anachronistic. Just something I remembered.
  33. 2 points
    JOHNSON CAMPBELL

    25M, Extreme Loneliness

    Dear Victimorthecrime, Jazz, IrmaJean, and LaLa, I want to thank you all for your responses. I have already tried Meetup. There aren't many good groups in my city. I can always create my own group though. I might give this another shot. 2 years ago, I joined a soccer team. We had a good league but I wasn't able to meet with anyone in that year. I went to the events hosted by the Graduate Student Association of my university. I couldn't meet with anyone at those events either. I tried to join all of the parties that people hosted at my department; I couldn't meet with anyone at those parties either [As a side note: I actually "met" a lot of people at those parties but I couldn't become friends with any of them]. I tried talking to random people at coffee shops [This did not work either]. Now, I am actually thinking of joining an improvisation class. This is something I haven't tried and I hope it can help me with my loneliness. I could be perceived as a someone who only talks about himself. However, I never really talk about myself. I always talk about abstract ideas rather than anything (or anyone) in particular. As for my roommate: I agree that I shouldn't view my relationship (or lack thereof) with him as "telling" in any way. The biggest problem there is that we share no common interests. I am totally aware of loneliness being a more common problem than I made it out to be in my post. I probably felt too emotional while writing it. I accept that online interactions can be deep and fulfilling. I also believe that online interactions (especially with random people) is mostly a hit-or-miss. I want to clarify a point I made in my post. All of you are correct in saying that it is not obvious at all that I feel sad about my situation. I definitely feel bad about my situation but not sad. This is because there is nothing to be sad about. Being alone does not take so much away from my happiness. I see it as a problem to be solved. Sure, it sometimes puts me in a depressed state but I am able to find other things to pass the time. But I am not too sold on the idea that "I am not the problem." I may be the problem, who knows? Being a 25 year old male with no history of dating, friendship, and other close contact is something out of the ordinary. Even if I am the problem, this does not mean that I am a bad person. At most it just shows that I don't have the right personality profile that makes friends and girlfriends. What I may be sad about is this: life gets lonelier as we age. Usually, the circle of friends you have gets narrower as you age. My circle is already non-existent. And I am probably at the best time of my life in terms of going through relationships (while I am healthy etc.). So, I will look back to these days 10 years later, and I will feel sad that I didn't have any interpersonal fun. Going to dinners together, movies together, reading together, having sex together, and etc. These are the things an average high-schooler has done already, none of which I had done. I don't know... I really need a therapy and I will give it a shot even if it is short-term. J.C.
  34. 2 points
    IrmaJean

    25M, Extreme Loneliness

    Hello, JC. It sounds as though you are seeking a connection that can be difficult to find these days in our fast paced, high tech society. Some (or many) people have no interest or need for intimate friendships and instead have a circle of acquaintances. I see that too. I also agree with Jazz, that these types of relationships with others can be rare and challenging to maintain throughout our lifetimes. That being said I think that these wonderful friendships can still be possible. I think the key is to keep putting oneself out there. Also, I think it's important to know the other person's expectations in a relationship and to know they closely match with yours. Joining different groups is a great idea. Shared interests can be a place to begin communication and make connections. Best wishes.
  35. 2 points
    LaLa

    Its been a while

    How have you been doing?
  36. 2 points
    although I agree with YOTH about playing the numbers game(i have done just that), and I only had to suffer one telling me off. I don't however agree with the telling them first part. why not let them decide...... in turn proving to themselves, and us, whether they are sluts and/or shallow cunts.
  37. 2 points
    TheDane

    relationship query

    Interesting story thank you..... I myself have just ended a relationship for the first time (I have had 3 girlfriends). I am having trouble figuring out how much, if at all, the SPS was an issue. She spoke of my penis as "normal" sized and she wasnt afraid to tell me that she had been with more endowed guys. But in not in a condescending way. It didnt bother me. I used to hate women.....that has changed.
  38. 2 points
    It seems that you did everything you could. This is not an unproductive attitude to your life at the moment. I suggest that you stay out of intimate relationships for a while and continue raising your children the best way you can. When couples divorce and say that they will continue to be friends, it never really works out. You are right to see her as "the mother of my children" and that's it. To sum up: your attitude is productive, keep working hard (as long as you love your job) and raise the perfect children that you can.
  39. 2 points
    Small

    My so called life

    Merry Christmas my dear friend.
  40. 2 points
    Victimorthecrime

    Wife needing advice

    Can’t complain. It’s been super quiet which is welcome. I got a great nap for is rare for a weekday. It’s a short workweek followed by another holiday so that’s another plus. Just need to get my lagging winter energy up a bit to deal w some procrastinations and I’ll be all set.
  41. 2 points
    I think the real answer is complicated. While I do think SPS, or more accurately, sexual inferiority complex has been around since the dawn of man, there have been society and cultural changes that have made this affliction worse in the last 100 years, especially in Western societies. The most obvious culprit is the development of the internet and the resultant easy access to porn. The pornography industry has poisoned the mindset of millions and of men and women who suffer from an inferiority disposition with unrealistic expectations for the average or below average individual. Many of them are professionals, akin to the superior athletic performance of players in a NBA game compared to a pickup up game at a local park. While most of us happily accept that we will not be in the NBA, it is much more difficult to accept inferiority with a powerful biological need such as sex, and not just average sex, but the learned expectation of superior sex provided by the entertainment industry for both men and women. This may not sit well with women on this site, and I’m a bit reluctant to say this but mean no disrespect, but I believe the rise of SPS/male sexual inferiority complex is in part secondary to the society evolution of women’s liberation. This has resulted in significant society change in the minds of women regarding marriage, monogamous relationships, and has led to women having many more sex partners than 100 or 1000’s of years ago. Woman have much less shame regarding multiple partners (no more scarlet letters placed on women’s chests), dependency on men for financial stability, no longer fear out of wedlock pregnancy given the pill/day after pill, chemical and mechanical abortion, and are now exposed to this lifestyle as a mainstream life experience through the entertainment industry. Personally, I had reservations with a relationship with my wife knowing that she had many more sexual experiences than I had when we met, but I pursued. Perhaps, I set myself up for failure with that always in the back of my mind. I know I’m not alone given what I’ve read on this site. The secularization of society has diminished the desire for marriage, monogamy, and “god-like” behavior, if you will. While I’m no fan of organized religion, a manmade concept which ultimately becomes corrupt in most instances (recovering Catholic), their teachings of these ideals are being lost.
  42. 2 points
    Talking about it is therapuitic. My business partners and friends all know many, but not all of the details mentioned here. Alas, there are two sides to every story, but I tried to be fair and express her feelings/side as well on here as she is quite vocal about her needs/feeling toward me. We just have very different views on happiness for one's life. Unfortunately, there are kids involved, but they seem to be doing ok. Years ago, she called alimony as "combat pay". I wonder if she still feels the same way.
  43. 2 points
    A mental health disorder regarding any body dysmorphia means that your do not realistically view your body or body part. And, most mental health disorders in the dysmorphia realm have a strong obsessive component. i know what size I am. I do NOT think I am smaller than I am. And, my size does not affect how I view myself when compared to other men. I will sometimes fact check my own priorities with hypotheticals. Like, would I give up 5 IQ points to have an 8 or 9 inch penis? No, I would not. Would I give up the way I respect and treat others for a big dick? No. Would I give up even one of my good friends for a bigger dick? Nope. Its funny. There is one clear PHYSICAL attribute I would trade for a bigger penis, and that is some of my height. I’m only 5’9” but I’d trade an inch or two in height to add 3 inches to my penis. I just don’t care as much about my physical attributes in part because they have not given me my most important and valuable aspects of my life like my wife, daughters, career, friends, and activities. Dysmorphic illnesses cause people to narrow their view to just certain physical attributes and a person misses the rest of the world. I wish more men on this site had the emotional and mental health capacity to widen their views of the world.
  44. 2 points
    Under5 hasn't battled and beat dysmorphia, he's accepted that he's small and moved past it as a handicap. Not that that isn't an achievement, it is, I'm legitimatly in awe of him. But SPS isn't seeing yourself as fat when everyone else sees you as normal, it's thinking you're small because you've been told a thousand times that you're small. I have eyes, I'm smaller. I think it should be called phallic psychosis. That in my opinion sums it up better than dysmorohia or a 'syndrome'.
  45. 2 points
    How are you now, Choco? Have you talked to a doctor about all this?
  46. 2 points
    Victimorthecrime

    Sorry for late entry

    I remember when I was young we made moving fun by drinking beer, eating pizza and blasting rock-n-roll. But barring that it can be a pain in the ass so hang in there @Daveuk
  47. 2 points
    IrmaJean

    The power of negative thinking?

    I think there is good information in that video. Positive thinking does help me at times, but I think Jazz is right about balance. I would call myself an optimistic realist. And that works for me, but might not work best for others. Situations are always evolving too, there are adjustments to make and that might also include adjustments to what helps and what doesn't. There is always more to learn, when we are open to it, I think. Open-mindedness, actually, may very well be what helps me personally the most. I am very interested in psychology as well and read whenever I can.
  48. 2 points
    Monday - Humankind at 9am Routestowork - 10am Tuesday - sign on at 9:25am Wednesday - stayed in rest Thursday - probation at 9:30am tried to find new place at 4:00 CR 7:00pm Friday - Routestowork 9:30 New place viewing 10:00am back there at 4:00pm
  49. 2 points
    Harry Truman said "if you are going through Hell keep going"
  50. 2 points
    jazz

    Junes nearly over

    Well, we are having a nice couple of days - June weather has been quite cool - I don't mind really, roses look lovely 🌹
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