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JaneE last won the day on February 5 2013

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About JaneE

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  1. Thanks, you guys! I really appreciate this :-)
  2. Hi Community! I used to come here a lot, when I was still in my abusive relationship. A little over a year ago I left him, and have been very busy getting used to my new life. Mostly it's been SO MUCH BETTER, though there are times I still feel really horrid. I would NEVER go back to him, though...!! Back when I was on here a lot, trying to deal with my abusive husband and his treatment of me (which you guys SO VERY MUCH HELPED ME WITH, THANK YOU SO MUCH) I never really thought of, or remembered that when we first got together, I was so angry with the mistake I'd made, and how trapped I felt
  3. I feel like I know how you feel. The only other human I see in any meaningful way is my son. Otherwise I'm completely alone. I live and work alone. I kind of don't even mind that much. I feel very abnormal when I think of how other people live, but when I interact with people at all, I always mess it up somehow. I say or do the wrong thing, and even when I apologize, I don't ever see any forgiveness. I feel like everyone else is perfect and I'm fatally flawed in some way that I don't understand and can never fix. It's very frustrating, but for what it's worth, I think I understand some of wha
  4. "woman up" Is exactly what I'm doing, and it means shutting up, as saying the literal or equivalent of "**** You" is A) ineffective and damaging. But I appreciate the moral support, if that's how you meant it!! XD After reading through that site I have decided I must MUST keep my mouth shut and ignore it. The main reason is for my son. My Ex makes my son live his lies, and I think my son might be afraid of dealing with me at times because he's afraid he'll give something away, or similar, and I'll confront Ex about his lying. My demanding to be dealt with honorably by someone who's incapa
  5. Oops, I didn't see your question Allan before now, but I do agree very much with what you said, I used to work in the medical arena too, so I have some understanding of the financial constraints and the practices to deal with it. It all makes me wonder if the medicine for profit model can work, particularly in mental health, but to some extent all health is mental!
  6. Oh hey, I happened to do a search on google, and look what I found! http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/lying-and-deception.html A whole site dedicated to liars, specifically within relationships but they also have a section on how to deal with a lying child. They also have a forum, and other related topics. :-) I'd still love to hear how people deal with the liars in their lives, though, if you're dealing with that too. I'd like to hear positive coping strategies. How to heal yourself after dealing with this kind of person, etc. I'm just starting to confront the lies themselves, and how be
  7. My ex is a habitual liar. It's like he lives two lives, the real one, and the one he makes up. Talking to him on the phone, I hear what he's saying, but it's like translating his speech into another language. If he says he did A, he was more likely doing B. I know the language well enough, unfortunately! But in general, how are you supposed to deal with liars? If you know someone is lying to you do you call them on it or just ignore it? It had been my practice to call him on it, which just resulted in a lot of angry denials and/or "adjustments" to the tale. The thing I hate(d) most about
  8. Fascinating, thank you! It makes sense, really!
  9. Hi! I finally split up with my husband/partner of 12 years. I strongly believe him to have Narcissistic and/or Borderline personality traits, and our relationship was very high conflict. One thing I find very distressing, is that I find myself acting like him at times, especially when I have to deal with him. I find myself lying, being evasive, manipulative, etc. He never tells me a straight truth, and I am beginning to treat him the same way, just as some kind of shield against him. Or so I tell myself!! It makes me wonder if personality disorder is communicable!! >_< I read in a
  10. I read somewhere that anorexia is common in girls with Asperger's Syndrome, and that Asperger's is way more common in girls than previously thought... that it manifests itself differently from how it manifests in boys, and that consequently it's being missed!! Asperger's is on the autism spectrum, and I'm pretty sure it's genetic, from what I've read (I'm not a clinician of any sort, just someone who's interested in mental health, personality, and human development). Your daughter may have refused meds because she's worried they'll make her fat. I know that anti-depressants make me gain we
  11. You don't seem like a psychopath to me, you *do* feel remorse, or you wouldn't be distressed at the thought of being a psychopath. Most of the people on this part of the Personality Disorder Spectrum never spontaneously go to therapy or even think they have a problem!! I think you are very young, scared, and confused. That's okay!! OCD is on the Anxiety Spectrum, not the antisocial spectrum... Anyway. I'm not a therapist or a Mental Health professional of any kind. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder (also on the anxiety spectrum) and I lived with someone whom I believe to have antisocial
  12. I know you're frustrated with your kids right now, but to me they sound great!! I love it that your son dissects everything, what a great quality to have, I think. You sound very self-aware and analytical too, so maybe he takes after you :-) I agree with Allan about the possible ADHD. You *MUST* get that looked into, your son will have a very hard time in the world if it remains undiagnosed and untreated. Your family dinnertime talks sound wonderful, I wish I knew some strategies. My family never talked. My family now is headed by someone who overtalks everyone and always knows best. >_
  13. I know what you mean about putting your husband first. I'm in the process of leaving my horrifically verbally abusive husband, and I feel a far greater connection to my son these days, now that he is not eclipsed by my inability to make things work with my husband. I gave up on the husband, but the kid is awesome. Your situation is tough, working swing shifts, and your family out of your sights so much, it's hard to have a cohesive unit just for that reason, I'd imagine. If the only time you guys spend together away from a screen is camping, then I suppose you should try to do a lot of campi
  14. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this!! His behavior is simply unacceptable. I think you have your head and heart in the right place. My son is still young so I don't have personal experience with this kind of thing, so I can't offer any very useful advice, but I do send you a message of moral support. Good luck with everything, I hope things improve soon!!!
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