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IrmaJean last won the day on August 13

IrmaJean had the most liked content!


About IrmaJean

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    New York
  • Biography
    youngest of 4 children and the only girl. Married with 3 children


  • Location
    New York
  • Interests
    writing, psychology, baseball
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  1. IrmaJean


    A friendship like this can stay with us in some ways, even after loss I think. The interactions and memories will always be in our hearts. I also shared a friendship that I valued with another forum member here. We had plans to meet, but unfortunately he died before that could ever happen. You just never know where you might encounter a kindred spirit. My advice would be to not wait, don't wait to make an in person connection if that's what you both want. It's so true, the time is short. I am grateful for the friendships I have shared here. I'm glad that you and Tom met and shared friendship.
  2. IrmaJean

    Tom...a real person

    Grief works like that for me too. Waves of emotions, sometimes when you least expect them and not something you can always control. One thing that helped me during those waves of sadness, yearning, and pain was to try not to fight the feelings. As hard as that is, just to sit with them and let them flow. Breathe, listen to your needs, acknowledge the feelings, and they eventually ease up...until they show up again. Try to sit with yourself and be with yourself through it, if you can. It really sucks, it does... I'm sorry you're going through this.
  3. IrmaJean

    Hi all

    Hi Dave. Welcome. Thank you for sharing your art. Very cool. I like to write poems and stories too, though I haven't done much writing in a while. May I ask what kind of stories you write? I hope you are enjoying the summer.
  4. IrmaJean

    Tom...a real person

    That kind of bullying over time can have a profound effect. I have found that I go through an intense mental replay after loss. My thoughts are consumed with past conversations, what ifs, interactions, regrets, happy memories, painful memories, as well as a rollercoaster of many (and sometimes conflicting) emotions. It can be mentally exhausting, but I think--for me at least-- it's a necessary part of my grief. Can you write to Tom, talk to him, and tell him what you need? If there is a drive there, maybe it might help to express those thoughts and feelings?
  5. IrmaJean

    Tom...a real person

    I'm so sorry. This hurts. It's hard to think of people we care about dying alone, especially when we wanted so much to be there for them. I hear you. I hope that Tom found some moments of peace. I think talking about my loss helps me process it, though not without pain. I think too everyone copes in their own way. I hope you continue to listen to your needs.
  6. IrmaJean

    Tom...a real person

    @YOTH, I wanted to add that if you ever want or need to talk and share about Tom, I will always listen.
  7. IrmaJean

    Tom...a real person

    Ohh, that is so awful. I'm so sorry, YOTH. I had a close friend who attempted suicide years back and for some time, I did not know if they were dead or alive. As much as emotions may go all over and they may, it has helped me to remind myself that there is no way any of us can know what another person will do and there is no way we can control their choices...over and over again... I hope you will let yourself feel what you will and what you need to feel. Loss can feel so immense it is difficult to fathom. Keep sharing, if it helps. We are here listening. Care to you.
  8. IrmaJean

    I dont know what's going on with me

    Welcome, Takutaki. I'm sorry you're going through this. From your post it sounds like this has been ongoing, but has worsened recently. Has anything happened that may have caused you increased stress? How is your self care? Do you have anyone there to share with who will support you? What has helped in the past? I hope you feel better.
  9. IrmaJean

    My so called life

    My h enjoyed the Matrix, but that's generally not my kind of movie, though not because it is triggering for me. I prefer films about relationships (not necessarily romantic relationships) or character/psychological studies. Nice scenery always helps too. I do also enjoy uplifting movies and movies that make me think. H is geared toward action movies and I enjoy slower moving movies about people. It's always interesting how each person has their own preferences. I can watch over and over again too if it's something I really enjoy. At any rate, it is nice to be able to relax and forget about life problems for a few hours. It's a recharge for me.
  10. IrmaJean

    The one about your penis defining you

    I'm sorry that you have been hurt by women in the past. I think that bad experiences can make it easy to generalize, but I agree that each person...regardless of gender...is individual. I do hear your anger, frustration, and pain. I appreciate that you are able to share your feelings respectfully. I hope it helps to express yourself. What defines a human being? I think we are complex and unique, maybe we would feel less anguish if we did not attempt to categorize ourselves, especially not by a body part. Take care. Welcome to our community, @TheDane
  11. IrmaJean


    Hi Renni! I'm sorry you're feeling anxious and sad today. Does deep breathing help? Exercise? My daughter expresses similar sentiments about school. It can be quite a stressful environment for her. Is there an adult you trust at your school who you can share your concerns with? A speaks with a teacher and a counselor and she finds it helpful. It can be challenging to navigate social interactions and may be especially so during adolescence. It wasn't easy for me either. Are your parents supportive? One thing I try to do for A is to maintain contact with her teachers and counselors and work together with them to help guide her with some of these difficulties. Would your parents be receptive, do you think? Have you shared any of this with them? Is it possible you might see your friend during lunch or recess? Maybe too you might make new friends this year? I hope you enjoy your summer vacation, Renni! Take care. I hope you feel better.
  12. IrmaJean

    If you can't change your circumstance

    I'm sorry for your sadness, Klingsor. It sucks when a friend dies. :( :'(
  13. IrmaJean

    My so called life

    I saw both movies, though several years ago, and enjoyed both.
  14. IrmaJean


    No, you did nothing wrong, Klingsor. Sometimes members want their posts/accounts deleted for their own reasons. It didn't have anything to do with you or what you wrote. I apologize; I should have written and told you the post would no longer be visible. Hope you're as okay as you can be.
  15. IrmaJean

    POCD i think - at a breaking point; please help

    Yes, that has been what I see with my daughter A as well. She hasn't been magically cured of depression and anxiety. She still has intrusive and irrational thoughts. She still struggles, but the medication gives her a little space to breathe so it helps in that way. Tropic, I hope you find the way to inner peace.