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IrmaJean last won the day on December 5

IrmaJean had the most liked content!


About IrmaJean

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  • Location
    New York
  • Biography
    youngest of 4 children and the only girl. Married with 3 children


  • Location
    New York
  • Interests
    writing, psychology, baseball
  • Occupation

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  1. don't understand myself

    Welcome, turtleear. You are going through a lot. Has therapy been helpful in any way? Self-harm has been one way you have been coping. Has anything else ever been helpful to you? Have you tried sitting with yourself through these moments? Maybe ask yourself.. What do I feel? What do I need? Deep breathing? Vigorous exercise? I understand that it can be very difficult to stop self-harming behaviors. :-( Right now, it feels as if there is no way to 'get better'. I hope that one day soon you see some light on the path to feeling better. I want to offer my care and support to you.
  2. Job fears

    I think it's a good idea to have a plan in place for all of the potential outcomes, though sometimes life does throw us curveballs. My family has been going through some major work changes recently after decades of security. It isn't easy and we're still adjusting, but I try to take lostboy1's approach...embrace the change. So challenging at times. I hope things work out okay, Vic.
  3. Not sure why I can’t stand my mum

    Welcome to the community, confusedjess. Are these feelings about your mother new or do you think they have been building over the years? How did you feel about her when you were growing up, as a teenager, and when you left home? Resentful feelings might build if feelings have been suppressed over the years. What are the feelings about? Anger? Hurt? You mentioned that your mom has had strokes and so wouldn't be capable of open conversation with you. Do you think it might help to discuss your feelings with someone you trust or possibly you might journal them? If it weighs on your mind maybe it could help to express? None of us can change our pasts, but I think we can work toward accepting what happened and heal. Hopefully doing this can help improve our relationships in the present...with others and with ourselves. Take care.
  4. Confidence / Self Confidence

    Try not to let that one person get you down..I understand that can be challenging. I hope you find some happiness in your life, Klingsor. I hope you choose to continue on with living. Your life has meaning. I would miss you.
  5. I dont know what to do?

    :'( I hear you, Andromeda. I have a daughter who struggles too. Anxiety and depression can wear a person down. I'm sorry you have been feeling this way. Maybe it helps to take one moment at a time? Do you enjoy any activities? Recently we have been ice skating as a family and those moments seem to be helpful to my daughter. When we skate, she is able to connect with some positive feelings. I think the exercise and focus on learning a new task can be helpful too. Maybe it also provides some space to heal. I am thinking of you, A.
  6. All

  7. Dealing with Perfectionism and Self-Hatred *Triggering*

    Are you able to sit with the Klingsor part of you? Possibly this part of you came to be when you were younger and he has a purpose. Are you able to feel any compassion for Klingsor? If you're able to listen to this part and know what Klingsor needs, possibly this will allow an opening for the other parts of yourself to be expressed too.
  8. My so called life

    We went ice skating last night. I'm certain that I am checking my balance a lot and to stop, I grab the wall.. but I have fun. You got this, Small. I hope you get your skates for the holidays and enjoy skating.
  9. Planning. I'm not good at it.

    Victim, I hope you feel better soon. I enjoy the autumn and early winter, but I wish it did not go on for so long. Autumn and Spring are my favorite seasons, though I would choose Summer over Winter. Work ethic. I think you have to do it for yourself and not for others, who may be impossible to please. I work in a convenience store with food and coffee. It's very physical and non stop, but I take personal pleasure in making things look nice. I have been very fortunate to work in a healthy environment too for many years. It's difficult enough to do a job as it is; I can't imagine working in a toxic environment.
  10. My so called life

    Once you learn something after a while it becomes almost automatic. I have struggled to teach my girls because I haven't been able to describe exactly what I'm doing when I skate. :/ Lean back on your right leg and push off, moving forward with your left leg. Glide forward, alternating feet...left, right, left..Something like that anyway. I can only do it now because I learned a very long time ago; my daughters still need practice to learn. Give yourself some time and with practice I'm sure you'll get it. I find it freeing and it seems to lift my mood. I hope you enjoy skating, Small. I could play softball, tennis, and basketball, but I was just awful at soccer and volleyball. I was always tripping over the soccer ball and my arms would bruise instantly every time I made contact with the volleyball. Tennis was my strongest sport.
  11. My so called life

    I went ice skating recently and I was surprised how well it went. I hadn't been skating in decades and I recalled sucking at it in the past. I can't tell if my memory is off or I'm just not as hard on myself now. I found roller skating to be a bit easier, though. Either way, it's fun. :-) I think you should try it.
  12. SPS Article (SPS Community Contribution)

    I'm really glad to hear her intentions were positive. Thank you for your kind words. They are appreciated. It's been good to seeing members supporting one another. Take care.
  13. SPS Article (SPS Community Contribution)

    As an aside, I was uncomfortable to discover that a reporter had PMed members here for the purpose of writing an article. I'm glad there weren't any issues with this this time, but if any member ever receives PM's they don't welcome or want, please don't hesitate to let a moderator know.
  14. Ways to make money online using your sexuality?

    I agree with this statement. My eldest brother has a more severe form of autism. Here in the US, they don't diagnose Asperger's any longer, but rather different levels of autism. I have one daughter who has been diagnosed and another daughter who is suspected of having autism. I feel there may be a strong genetic link, though I'm sure many other factors are at play.
  15. My so called life

    I can relate to the awful feeling of missing a good friend who has died. I lost my friend K nearly 2 1/2 years ago, and I still miss him and think of him every day. I think replaying conversations and interactions may be common during grief...I have done this myself as well and sometimes intensely, especially initially. Maybe it's one way we try to process what has happened? I found too that although I knew what had happened from a rational standpoint, some part of me had trouble fully believing it. The finality is very difficult to accept. I think we all have to walk our own path with grief. There may be a layer of trauma too because Res died due to suicide. I'm sorry for your loss, Small. :'( A space to share oneself openly is rare in this life and this is a valuable space to have. I didn't know Resolute as well as you or Klingsor did, but I miss him too and think of him. I know it's important to me to continue talking openly about Kent and to keep sharing about him. I hope we can continue to speak openly about Resolute as well. I'm sorry you're hurting. I hope you can be gentle with yourself and allow all of your feelings. Care to you.