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IrmaJean

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IrmaJean last won the day on October 10

IrmaJean had the most liked content!

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About IrmaJean

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    Administrator

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    New York
  • Biography
    youngest of 4 children and the only girl. Married with 3 children

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  • Location
    New York
  • Interests
    writing, psychology, baseball
  • Occupation
    cashier

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  1. Are You Able to Laugh At Yourself?

    I find self-deprication (that is light hearted and playful and not about beating oneself down) a humble trait that I admire in a person. I do it myself too at times; I think it helps to not take myself too seriously. The other day I asked a customer at work " How are you?" two times in a row. I also got stuck in the walk in freezer. Graceful as ever. It can be a way of recognizing and sharing our humanity with others, I think. In the same respect, it might not be a positive thing if it's deeply hurtful or is a means of denying inner pain or a poor self image. I think it can depend on the context and the individual.
  2. Depression, Guilt & Regret

    The key for me with anxiety seems to be in having faith in myself and my ability to cope with the potential outcomes. Still a work in progress. Small, do you feel anxious while this is happening or is it more about sadness? How is your self talk? Are you able to be compassionate with yourself and treat yourself as you would a friend? Have you tried sitting with the feelings and caring for yourself through them? Guilt, sadness, pain can be uncomfortable to feel and I think it's common for any of us to try to fight these feelings or avoid them. I don't know if that may be what is happening for you or not. I have found that allowing my feelings to flow-- without fighting them-- can be helpful, especially during feelings of grief, but in my case there was a specific event that was bringing up a strong response for me. You mention that this feels intrinsic to your essence. Could there possibly be any trauma around this? Just some questions that come to mind. I don't know if any of this fits for you or not, but I'm glad you reached out. I hope you also feel positive feelings at times. Peaceful wishes.
  3. I'm sorry this happened, Tina. One positive thing about relationships, even the ones that end painfully, are the lessons we can take out of them. There is always something to learn about ourselves, I think, and the information we gain can help us have more satisfying relationships in the future. The experiences can be helpful to learn too how to relate to and care for ourselves. Also, there are two people in every friendship and I think it's rare for one person to be entirely at fault for the breakdown of a friendship. I can understand that hearing this now might not help much. I hope that you can offer some compassion to yourself. Maybe do something kind for yourself? Keep sharing here, if it helps. We're listening.
  4. Hi Tina. College can be an adjustment and especially if you're living away from home for the first time. Are you involved in any fun activities on campus? Maybe this could help to relieve some pressure and offer balance. Are you able to focus on yourself and your needs? How can you care for yourself now? Have you shared with your therapist that you feel he/she is not hearing you regarding your struggle? Take care, Tina. I hope you feel better.
  5. Can Depression Itself be a Terminal Illness?

    Is there any way to get some space from your co-workers? I understand that isn't always possible on the job.
  6. Do you know what it is you fear in failing, not having control, and feeling vulnerable? Do you think your competitiveness could be a means to try to prevent those things from happening or even to prevent facing your deeper fears in this? Is it possible that fleeing a situation could be a means of fleeing difficult feelings? You don't have to answer any of my questions. I think many of us may have similar fears. I hope you won't need to delete. It's okay to be you.
  7. Can Depression Itself be a Terminal Illness?

    I'm sorry things are so difficult for you at this time. :'( I hear that you feel defeated. Standing by you, Klingsor. I care about your well-being. I hope you are able to find some light. Sending you strength.
  8. Talk therapy combined with medication can be helpful. Working with a therapist to learn coping skills, gain self-awareness, and cultivate self-compassion might be beneficial. Self-care is always very important too, I think. Try to be mindful of responses, feelings, and needs. Also, listen closely to self-talk. This is a question that likely has no simple answers, though I wish it did. I think maybe what is effective may vary too according to a person's needs, temperament, attachment style, even different times in their lives.. Every day presents the opportunity to learn, I have found. It's an ongoing process. Challenging and painful at times for sure. I'm glad you reached out, kiki. I wish you healing and serenity.
  9. Planning. I'm not good at it.

    This. It sounds as though you have overcome a lot, Vic, as well as learning much along the way. I sometimes wish too that the learning part didn't take so many years (or decades). Klingsor, I hope your plans for a new home come to fruition. I am in your corner.
  10. Planning. I'm not good at it.

    I could say the same for myself. I took liberal arts in college because I didn't know what else to do at the time. If I could do over, I would major in psychology/counseling. If I were to offer any advice for planning, it would be to always be aware of the possibility of unwanted change. It can happen at any time. Klingsor, Small, and Vic, I wish all of you the best.
  11. Am I uncovering sexual abuse from my childhood?

    Welcome to the community, nailimixam. Though it does seem as though there might be a dissociative element to what you have been experiencing, I wouldn't know what this means about you and your past. I don't know if any of us from here can offer the answers. I hear that you want to know. Are you still working with a professional? Maybe working with a therapist could be beneficial and help you to the healing path you have been seeking. I hope that it helps to express yourself and share here too. Take care.
  12. Please help me im losing my mind

    Scruffycat, is there someone there with you who you can reach out to? I'm sorry you feel so distressed. I'm still reading through your posts, but wanted you to know we're here listening.
  13. My so called life

    Thank you for the update. It's good to hear from you. I'm glad you recognize some positive developments happening in your life. I hope work continues to go well and you continue to write your novel. Maybe, in time, the shack you are inside of now will feel sturdier and the storm outside will feel less formidable. I have been busy with work and family. We have been in the process of some major changes at work, but all in all I think I have been adjusting well. I recently turned 49 (31 still seems fairly young to me), next year will be the big one, as my brother teases. I enjoy writing too, though I mostly write fan fiction. I'm not sure I could ever create my own characters. That seems very challenging. Does writing help you to cope with or express negative emotions? In my experience, artists tend to be very hard on themselves regarding their work. Maybe this is common with authors as well? I think it's cool that Resolute had the opportunity to read your work in progress, even if he found it disturbing. (You know it wasn't boring) Take care.
  14. whining thread

    If members and Resolute's friends here are in agreement, we can go ahead and lock the thread. I do want to add that there is an open place to share feelings here on the forum if there is a need to, whether in a different thread or a blog or through messages. Your feelings matter. I hope everyone will listen to their needs.
  15. whining thread

    I think all of us tried to help Resolute, but his decision to take his life was outside of our control. I have questioned myself as well and wondered what I could or might have done differently. For me, during loss, I find that I often need some time to accept what I know to be true I think because the truth is so painful and frightening. Rationally there is awareness that there was nothing any of us could have done to change the outcome...but some part of me still wishes that we could have helped and things might have been different. It's difficult to accept such loss. It's difficult to accept such powerlessness. But here we are, sadly. I hope that sharing here is helpful. It does help me.. I had a good friend who was suicidal at times. I think we do help by standing by and being there, by caring, by being ourselves, by being a friend. We can't fix or change things, but we can stand with a person. You were a friend to Resolute. I hope you won't underestimate what you have to offer, Klingcorn.
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