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David O

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David O last won the day on December 26 2013

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  1. This is part 2 of a question asked 2 weeks ago titled: If I had life to live over again...... Part 2 asks: The best therapists is too often our own self, after all, who knows and understands us better? Sometimes all we need to problem solve is to have a structured way of looking at our issues, and asking the Miracle Question is a powerful approach, especially if taken seriously: If a miracle happened overnight, and you woke up tomorrow with one of your major concerns/problems/issues (that you have control over) greatly improved (or was gone), how would your life be different? What
  2. Good morning all, This was actually part 1 of a 2 part question: part 2 is the Miracle Question, which appears in a new thread. Note that they're connected for most of us. The real trick to managing our past is to know what to leave behind and what to bring with us on our journey. Thoughtfully, David
  3. I was in a hurry when I removed the posts, my apologies-- they're back up. On another note-- I'm tired of folks taking pot shots at others, this happens frequently via the forum and pm (which is why I locked mine)... and as many know, there have been openly hostile exchanges not only flying my way, but at times between other members. In this case Amazing asked for honest feedback, she received it-- so where's the problem? If you don't like my post, ignore it, move on and post something that genuinely contributes and adds value to the "family" as opposed to using your time and energies to cri
  4. There are too many members feeling unsafe and even threatened by incidents that have occurred here over the last few months. Over the year we've had several posters who's behavior bordered on detrimental and injurious to the community, and hurtful to specific members. I would have preferred that eNIGMA choose to become more socially responsible and use his powers of intellect and logic in a caring and compassionate manner, thereby having a hugely positive and healing effect on the community. One cannot help but sense that his cause hid a deeper pain, or experience, and that it was only a
  5. I thot you'd forgotten to count or your alphabet Calla!! :) ooops, mea culpa, mea culp! 10) Chosen some of my friends in the past based and who and what they are and less on what they have 11) Told my children i loved them every day until they said: Dad, please don't love me so much!" (and now I'm choking up)
  6. 6) Cry and laugh less at the movies and more in real life 7) Worry less about my house being clean and more about my children being loved and adored
  7. If I had my life to live over again, I would.... 1) Have more real troubles and less imaginary ones 2) Make more mistakes and not have such a fetish about being right all the time 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) Everyone add your one-liner till we reach 100: this should be eye-opening.
  8. I think this Asian tale may help you think about the issue with your husband and recognize the role patience and time will take. Enjoy: A young woman by the name of Yun Ok came one day to the house of a mountain hermit to seek his help. The hermit was a sage of great reknown and a maker of charms and magic potions. When Yun Ok entered the house, the hermit said, without raising his eyes from the fireplace into which he was looking "Why are you here?"Yun Ok said: "Oh famous sage, I am in distress! Make me a potion!" and he responds, "Yes, yes, make a potion! Everyone needs potions! Can we cure
  9. IrmaJean, I think you're right -- I may have misinterpreted Livewell's comment. Could be my English to Portuguese, to Spanish, to Ebonics to Swahili and back to English problem.
  10. Hi Amazing Grace, For 18 years I was married and finally, after much pain, we divorced. While my wife had Bipolar Disorder and a series of affairs--- I was that man who who was an immature beast-- didn't listen, was condescending, impatient, cold and uncaring... well, the list is rather long. There are certain truths I learned from my divorce, my excellent 2nd marriage, and also from >30 years in private practice: The first hard truth I faced, and those most of us do once the pain has left us and we are left to look at our part, is that we usually (not always) are each 100% responsible f
  11. eNIGMA, Shakespeare's Queen Gertrude said to Hamlet: "Me thinks thou doth protest too much..." and with that I was wondering what lies behind this level of passion, vehemence and single minded focus. To insist, at the level at which you are doing, that those with "incorrect" views on pedophilia must be shamed and made to to look like clowns, strongly suggests that there may be other factors involved within you. If your goal is to 'correct" members of the forum and set them straight, you must remember that it's not what you say that people remember or absorb, it's how they feel after you've sp
  12. OK Brighteyes... let's take a deep breath hear and see if we can't decipher some of this so that your entire life doesn't feel like it's surrounded by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. I'm a great believer in the principle of parsimony-- using the most frugal and simplest route possible to look a situation by taking it apart and chunking it into more manageable pieces. The best way to do this is to ask you to list your top 5 concerns and then rate them on a scale of 1 (very low concern) to 10 (extremely urgent), so that we can get a sense of what the issues are for you. for example
  13. Hi Petahgree and welcome to the "family". It's a holiday weekend so things are moving much slower than usual, but I thot to at least welcome you. I was wondering if you were comfortable sharing a little more about what's going on with you? How long have you experienced the Depression and Anxiety? Did one precede the other, for example, were you first anxious and then became depressed, or vice versa? Also, this may be hard, but can you tell us HOW your depression feels: in other words, what does it feel like inside of you and where do you feel the weight of it the most (chest, stomach, shoulde
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