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KatieDid

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KatieDid last won the day on November 27 2009

KatieDid had the most liked content!

About KatieDid

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 07/02/1968

Converted

  • Location
    So Cal
  • Interests
    Writing, Photography, Movies, Animals
  • Occupation
    Dining Services
  1. I very clearly stated that I wasn't going to try it without a dr.
  2. I'll have to inform my job of this at my anual review when I have to update my mandate reporter oath. As for the hearsay opinion... So I could tell her I had plans to kill x amount of people and that's just hearsay too? I don't work with adults - I work with dependant adults. That makes them the same as children. Is it really good practice to encourage people to dump their lives every time they hit a bump?
  3. Does anyone have any experience with this? I'm not going to try without talking to a dr.
  4. In 3 days I'm starting acupuncture for anxiety and pain. If this does work I'm going to have to do meds.
  5. I've battled SAD all my life and now that I'm already in a depression it's twice as bad. For me it's not the light thing, it's being cold. I can go for light therapy, but I'm still cold. For me it's just so depressing to to be bundled up and shivering for so long. Right now a hot day looks the same as winning the lottery. Normally the depression kicks in about the middle of February and lasts until the middle of June. This is the first time that I've wanted to cry over a weather report before Christmas. I feel like I could deal with my other problems...even my depression if I could just be warm.
  6. deleted because the post it was referring to was deleted
  7. deleted without reading further replies
  8. I would love to get all my nutrient through food, but in order to get the necessary amount of selenium I would have to eat 6lbs of broccoli a day. I like broccoli, but...geeze! I was told a simple rule about eating. If it's not food, don't eat it. Things like white bread, soda, and twinkies are not food, they're man made. The human body doesn't know what to do with such things. And people really under estimate the true value of carbs. They are just as necessary and important as protein and should never be cut out of a diet. Things like veggies, grains, and fruits are complex carbs that are vital to healthy living. (things like enriched flour, sugar, and chips are not food...again. Manmade...) Remember, you can't get veggie poisoning, but you can get protein poisoning. The human body only needs 47grams of protein a day. Of course this also leads to a whole new discussion on how we've engineered the our foods to be so pretty that they've lost their nutritional value. I'd love to be able to buy all organic stuff, but I'm not rich. I'm struggling to get up and make a tuna sandwich instead of letting the husband bring home taco bell. I'm not going to start kicking myself for taking supplements instead of being Martha Stewart in the kitchen.
  9. I take a mega B for stress, extra fish oil, and extra magnesium but I don't know if it's helping or not. I have nothing against medication (and I have nothing against others taking it) but I'd rather start with smaller steps like diet changes and such. I'd really rather save medication as a last resort because I've had substance abuse problems in the past.
  10. KatieDid

    Triggers

    I didn't know anything about PTSD for 30 years that I've been living with it. I knew certain things made me uncomfortable and I avoided them, but I didn't think that was particular. One thing that really sets me off is mainstream music from the 70's. My mother was a free living hippie and was into sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Now that I am out of that situation, the music still pops out of nowhere and takes me right back. The logical side of my brain says that it's just bad memories attached to the music and it's as simple as making new, more pleasant memories. The other part of my brain says 'Hell No, get away with that stuff." I always thought it was just the music, but the other day we were talking about how ice cream is different now then it was 30 years ago. I'm not a big ice cream fan (because I'm hypersensitive to cold and ice cream makes me very cold.) so I didn't have much to add. Then someone said the name of a company I thought had gone out of business and the just the word gave me the same feelings as the music does. I don't know why, I have no memories of ever going to that place. It's very confusing and a little scary.
  11. I was reading other posts and came across a motivation tread in the ADHD section. There was a suggestion to make a short list of things to do everyday. I'm trying that. I have a smartphone that can do everything but wipe my nose for me, so I set up the task app. This way the phone can yell at me to get off my ass and do something.
  12. I've always had very little ambition and motivation, but lately it's even worse. I'm actually quite talented (if I do say so myself) but I just have no motivation to get up and do anything with it. Lately I've even lost interest in minor things like recycling. Lately I just feel like I can't find anything to care about. My husband isn't making it any easier because he was very pampered as a child and doesn't really know how take care of a house or even cook a meal. He doesn't expect things but if I don't cook he'll go get fast food. I'm gaining weight in the wrong places, I feel like crap because I either don't eat or I eat crap, and my house looks like the star of a natural disaster film. And I don't care! I hate this. I need a bomb set under me!
  13. Yes, I'm still in therapy. I write when I can but when I start to hurt I stop writing because I don't want to be a bummer. I call it trying to stay positive, my therapist calls it avoidance. I real form of expression is photography, but I've lost interest lately. Lately I don't even want to photography my cute, happy puppy.
  14. I know I'm still a junior member, but I wanted to share my story so you know that I understand. August 13, 2008 I woke up to the most horrendous pain I could imagine. It felt like my insides where being ripped out. I went to the ER only to discover that I was 8 weeks pregnant and having a miscarriage. We had no idea I was pregnant, and now I was loosing it. Afterwards my husband got all the sympathy while people said things like "He would make such a great dad. Give him another chance." or "At least you still ave your dog." The whole thing was horrible. A year later I was pregnant again. Both my husband and I are over 40 and we both have genetic issues so we were trying to hold off on excitment. We planned on starting to prepare for the baby if we made it to the second trimester. I got my first ultrasound at 12 weeks and the baby measured 6 weeks with a strong heartbeat. We were concerned so I went back two weeks later to see if there was a difference. My appointment was on my birthday. The baby measured 7 weeks with no heartbeat and my doctor went on vacation that day, leaving me alone for two weeks. I'm an emotionally detached person anyway, so it was easy to act normal in public. This time I got comments like "You didn't want a baby anyway." or "It's for the best. You might look young but you're still old." and my personal favorite "How many times are your going to do this?" My husband got hugs and well wishes and suggestions to adopt. I ended up having to have a D&C and I have my tubes tied as well. When people found out about that I got comments like "How could you do that to your husband?" People think I don't care because I wasn't screaming and crying 24/7. I was trying to cope and get on with life as best I could, and that made me a monster. My husband went back to work and was seen as a hero for facing life again so soon. I didn't even get a miscarriage book. That would have helped a lot. Death (especially the death of a baby) really brings out the worst in people. It really sucks getting excluded from the sympathy. My due date is in 2 weeks and now people don't even remember I was pregnant.
  15. This was said to me once when I stated I was seeing an MFT. When I decided to see someone in September 2008, I didn't want to see a psychiatrist because I didn't want to go with medication right out of the gate. I wanted to talk. I went to my issuance website and picked out someone I could walk too (We have one car and have to share) who dealt with my issues (depressions, anxiety, child abuse, grief counseling). I didn't look at actually titles, just schools, years in service, and issues. The woman I chose was an okay fit but I felt like the whole thing just wasn't going anywhere. We even had an end date set up. I 'fell apart' a week before my last visit and told her maybe we shouldn't stop after all. I chose to stay with her because it took me a year to finally open up and if I had to start over I would probably not bother. Right now I'm really struggling to stay sober after 15 years. When I mentioned this to someone they said "Find a real doctor and get proper therapy." I found this insulting because 1. It's not their business. and 2. Isn't comfort level more important? Isn't it more important that I'm talking right now and less important who I'm talking to? She suggested that I might need to see a psychiatrist about possible medication, but I'd like to try and hold off on that. If she says it again, I'll go. Is a MFT really all that bad for PTSD from child abuse?
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