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curtailed

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curtailed last won the day on June 14

curtailed had the most liked content!

About curtailed

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  • Birthday 01/01/1985

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  • Biography
    Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, agree 100% with diagnosis

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    Europe
  1. Not sure where to post this. Here follows: A man in a documentary (I do not know the name of the documentary) said about 'small penis syndrome' the following: "All men who have a problem with a small penis have been in some way neglected in their upbringing." This is very simple and powerful statement. I take it at face value. Go to therapy, talk to your parents, use money, cry, laugh, whatever: GET HELP. I'm doing it. -- Curtailed, Over and Out.
  2. I like Nathan's last reply also, as it seems very practical yet sane at the same time. I can't really convince anyone about anything but I would like to point out that Buddhism some really smart thoughts about calming ones mind. This includes verily the calming of ones mind from the very problem mentioned in the first and original post. If I can relate any of the thoughts I have gathered, they would sum as the follows: Let your thoughts exist. Realize they happen in your body but do not participate in them in any way. This means letting your embarrassment, anger, fear, lust, love and hatred merely manifest themselves in your physical torso. You will realize sooner or later that they do not really exist in your mind as such, but merely as bodily tensions. Realize that that your body exists separate from your conscious realization of the body. In other words: YOU are not your body. Let the emotions exist in your body, NOT YOU. It feels really relaxing once you let everything merely flow through your body and realize you don't need to participate in any of the bullshit that goes on in our lives. It is 4:30 AM and I just came from a bar tonight, but I'm trying to convey my meaning as clear and simple as possible: You Are Not Your Body. -- Thanks for your attention, Curtailed
  3. Answering the original question about splitting: Yes, I do think I do a lot of splitting. As it was earlier mentioned in this thread, people with Borderline Personality Disorder use splitting as a defense mechanism. I have been diagnosed with BPD and I'm still figuring out a lot about the different sides of my disorderly behavior and thinking. As far as I understand, splitting happens on an emotional level and even if the splitting itself can't logically be dealt away with, the situation can be contained with logical arguments. Personally I have been very controlling about my emotions and the way I conduct myself. As of late I have been letting my emotions surface and have also been paying more attention to the finer details. It has been very tiring since I've noticed my anger and anxiety go from 0 to 100 (and back) in less than 3 seconds if I even think of something emotionally uncomfortable. Many times these things don't seem to cause a slightest flinch in other people I try to share my thoughts with. Thinking back on my life I've always had problems with social relationships: I seem to idealize new people a lot, and then when they ever so slightly disappoint me at some time, I usually get very very mad at them. I find it really difficult to feel anything positive about them after something insulting happens. Funny thing now that I think of it is that my upbringing has always been something of a catalyst to this emotional black-and-whiteness. It always seemed weird to my parents how strongly I reacted to things and I was many times mocked or belittled for being so sensitive (read: weak). I guess the biggest problem is I that I often feel utterly betrayed by something very stupid and I except heartfelt apologies for things that most people don't seem to care about. I've noticed that many of the friends I've hung out with for a long time, have very little emotional sensitivity when it comes to this and the ever-bugging thought in my mind is: "If I could Just make them understand!" Eventually my friendships are forced into a limbo-like existence where I'm constantly struggling with myself, instead of really telling them to take a hike. I guess my anger and feelings of betrayal manifest themselves passive-aggressively eventually and I feed something back to the people I get so much fuel for my emotional mayhem for -- F60.3
  4. Hello! Happy new year to all of you! During 2010 I have done the following things: * Turned 25 and got scared that I should be doing adult stuff by now * Became a godfather * Graduated finally from high school (big yay, took me 9 years) * Got a study place in a university (starting in January!) * Started psychodynamic psychotherapy * Accepted that I have a personality disorder and started treating myself * Confessed to some people close to me that I go to a forum called SPS, and that SPS explains some of my problems -- Cheers!
  5. I noticed that there is a member called John ALLMAN, and that he posted in this thread, of all the threads he could have posted in. It made me wonder if he'd chosen the name Allman, because he is "all man" himself.
  6. http://www.measurection.com has Lots of gay men. I think the site was originally founded for gay men.
  7. Hello People. Someone was considering therapy earlier in this thread. I can highly recommend it if you're committed to it, and ready to face anything (and everything) that comes along. It WILL help you with your problems, including insecurities about your sexual performance. I, myself, have started psychodynamic therapy in the last 3 months, and although I can't say it would have changed any of my logical thinking, it has altered emotions regarding my own capability and worthiness as a man. The problem I have faced is that I can't (simply said: am too afraid to) delve into the process and let the healing really take place... It has been nevertheless very exhilarating and I feel a bit more hopeful day by day I'll gladly take any questions regarding my experiences in the last months. -- Curtailed
  8. curtailed

    Jokes

    A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. When the judges had inspected all of the competing dogs, they remarked about the boy's dog: "He's not so shaggy."
  9. Just had a 45-year-old woman at my apartment and gave her a proper finger-fucking and sucked on her... Being that I'm 25 and it was my first time, I felt surprisingly comfortable. It was much more mechanical than I ever expected. To be honest it was exactly as mechanical as I thought it would be. I'm much closer to not being a virgin as I have ever been before - yet I feel no different at all. It's funny that she went down on me, but I was 1) too drugged (on anti-depressants) and 2) too drunk, and I simply couldn't get any reaction out of myself. Nothing at all. I told her I was embarrassed and I told her the reality... She didn't seem too pissed off but was clearly disappointed, as far as I can tell. The conclusion that I came to was that she really liked what she got, since she was wet all over the place - but that she wouldn't have minded to have some cock in that pussy. She moaned like all hell was coming apart and I was afraid for the neighbors, so I don't feel too bad about myself, in that sense
  10. Thanks for being there, my friend
  11. I have personally come to these conclusions: 1) My penis shapes the way I feel about myself: --- it might shape bad things, but it also gives us possibilities to feel things guys with big dicks don't ever realize about themself 2) My penis is something that causes discomfort to myself: --- the penis itself might cause discomfort, but that doesn't mean that you're a sexually unattractive male. you can be more attractive and more sexually active than most males, by using your intellect, fingers and tongue alone... 3) My penis is small and I feel bad about it: --- yeah, this happens to the best of us... usually it's about self-respect and believing in your own sexual capabilities. you can't fool yourself into believe you can fuck a woman silly if your dick is 3 inches long, but that doesn't mean you can't make a woman orgasm 10 times in an hour and have them scream your name otherwise... 4) You're not making sense. --- fuck you and yes I am.
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