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Symora

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Symora last won the day on August 13 2010

Symora had the most liked content!

About Symora

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 11/25/1955

Converted

  • Location
    Canada
  • Interests
    Reading, home improvements, sewing, painting
  • Occupation
    Human Resources professional
  1. Hi Loneone, I see my dreams as images, bubbles, that come up from the subconscious, but they are often so jumbled that that they have no concrete meaning and can't be untangled. I think they can represent fears, anxieties, just thinking events out by free association. Working through confused feelings often gives me confusing dreams. In my case they always include water in one way or the other if they are about feelings. The one thing that stands out in that dream for me is your concern for your kids, you sound worried about them... and then you spoke about your upcoming marriage and having cold feet. Does that have anything to do with the kids?
  2. Hi Pseudonyme, You do indeed sound like things are difficult right now... Haven't been to the forum in a while so I don't know your past, but I do know those mood swings and feelings of despair. I was like that for a long time but finally found medication that has stabilized me and I can say that life if pretty normal now. There can be breakthroughs... mine took some 30 years but it happened... From what I hear you are a single parent. That's difficult, I know for having lived it myself. Dealing with mania or depression while trying to keep it together for kids is extremely challenging, sometimes completely overwhelming. Hard as it was, I do consider now that it was a blessing that I had them though since I don't think I would be here without them... sometimes just the tiredness can trigger the feelings of despair, especially if you are having nightmares... Are you taking anything to help you sleep? Are you being treated for anxiety? May your days ahead be easier, calmer, and more filled with hope Pseudonyme....
  3. Hi Audbaul, Thank you for trusting us enough to share that with us. As Endlessnight said, children are so innocent and so used to being told what to think and do, so subject to the authority of those around them. You did what most 9 years do, they keep it to themselves not to get themselves or others in trouble. You were trying to protect your brother by being silent and that is a noble thing, although keeping it inside also does us a disservice since it becomes a secret that can haunt us. I hope that sharing it with us, and eventually perhaps a professional can help you get beyond the anger and confused feelings about the incident. I'm sorry you had to live that, and please let the blame lie exactly where it belongs, on the person who took advantage of your innocence at the time... he was in a position of power and he took advantage of it with no thought to the consequences to you... If you are still with us, how are you feeling now?
  4. I`m afraid I don`t know what other problems you mean... I'm just back to the forum and a bit out of touch. Am I missing something?
  5. Hi Es, There is no way that is normal behaviour for adults. It is immature and normal adults know that this is invasive, demeaning and crude. They would never have acted that way with your mother, and it was not any more proper to do it with you. You were an easy target as a child and they allowed themselves this stupid behaviour because you were powerless to do anything about it.... The question is how much has it bothered you? Is it just one of those memories that one wishes one did not have (like the guy that flashed me as I was walking down the street one day- I really would prefer that was not in my head...), or is it something that has shaken up your world to a greater degree???? All depends on how you integrated the experience..... Anyway, shame on them for being so thoughtless...
  6. Hello Ilove music, welcome to the forum... I'm sorry to hear that you feel epressed and part of being depressed is being down on yourself, so know that the depression is what is making you feel so hopeless... I've suffered from depression and know that it can feel quite overwhelming, but it usually gets better, so have hope. I have also felt that people just ignore me when I tell them how bad I feel, but now I feel that it is mostly because they just don't know what to say or how to respond. They feel helpless and so it is often easier to just avoid it ... There are people out there who are knowledgeable about depression and those are the people you need to reach out to. Have you talked to a doctor about what you are living, that is probably the first step. If it has been lasting for awhile, and especially if you are having suicidal ideations, then you really should see a doctor first. Therapists, pastors, elders can also be very helpful in helping you identify what may be making you feel so bad. Is this the first time you suffer a long depressive period like this?
  7. That's an interesting question. For me it is often that I just don't feel like talking, but rather I'm in listening mode. I get a lot out of what others post, it helps me get perspective on things, realise I'm not alone going through things. Sometimes I feel like I'm reading interesting short stories, I love hearing people open up about themselves and getting insight into other ways of seeing the world. Then at other times I feel I have something to contribute, or I just feel like interacting more. It also has to do with the subject for me, some things resonate with me more.... I guess it`s like Malign said, there are as many reasons as there are people out there...
  8. I encourage you to look into Al-Anon as well, and even get you child babysat for a couple of hours once in awhile so that you can attend if they cannot provide daycare. The tough part is the isolation, feeling alone in dealing with the issues. There is a lot of comfort and strength in sharing with others who understand and that may even help you make some contacts that will help you explore other options.... My instinct was also to think that perhaps you could find someone else to work with you, someone who might even be more dependable and less stressful...
  9. Symora

    still crying

    Hi Danni, I'm so sorry to hear about your difficult situation. I work in HR and I see these types of situations often. I find upper management is generally conflict resolution adverse and middle management is caught in the squeeze. It's easier to hide one's head in the sand, pretend it's not that bad, and make believe that all is well, especially if he is getting them the results they are looking for. Eventually they usually can't keep the lid on the pot though, and often there is an exodus of people who leave the organization in search of better tomorrows.... It is difficult to get rid of a tyranical person, especially someone at a high level, and it is often ugly and costly. So they pretend and hope it will all go away. Perhaps if people start dropping off, by leaving or taking extended sick leave, they will have to address the situation. In my experience, if you think that he is protected and there will be no action to curb his dictator attitude (which seems to be the case since the other 3 complaints saw no results), then it is wise to start looking elsewhere. It does not have to be tomorrow, but starting to think about your options and putting your feelers out sounds reasonable at this point and may save your sanity .... You have been sad and frustrated by this for a long time Danni and it is taking it's toll... The world is a big place and there are other opportunities out there... I hope you feel better soon my dear and know that you deserve better! Have you considered mutiny as a group ???
  10. I have also had issues with using the Internet at work, and I venture to say that it is rampant problem for people who work at a desk .... For me it has to do with being bored at work. When I have an interesting project I don't crave the internet so much, but if I'm bored or I don't really want to do the upcoming project, then I procrastinate and the internet is wonderful for that :cool: I remember when the Internet first became available in the workplace, somewhere around 1995. At the time only a few people had the privilege of having access to it, and there was concern about the workforce become less productive if they had open and free access to it, and that was before the whole wide world became available on it ! So here we are now in a world where being connected to others through the internet is becoming part of our identity, like a parallel world, the opposite side of the hourglass.... I have found great solace and frienship through the net, it has truly helped me, but I am very conscious that sometimes I still need to disconnect in order to be able to function properly in the old world which is still considered mainstream.... I think Anyway, my phylosophising for the evening. Please know that many people are struggling with that right now. I see it especially with the youth around 20 years old. My niece needs to be plugged in all the time through her phone... she has absolutely no time for reflection or thinking deeply, and unfortunately it is having an effect on her life. The world is moving quickly, our social fabric is changing quickly, I think it's normal that we need to reevaluate once in awhile where we want to put our time in order to have the life we want... Choices, those darn choices....
  11. My feeling is that you can't help him stop drinking, he has to do that for himself. At some point he may screw up so bad he will find himself on his ass, hitting bottom as it weres, and that may give him the incentive to get his act together. That's why you have to be concerned about yourself and your child most of all since it looks like he is dragging you all down with him.... If you own everything, why don't you get him to leave? Is that something that would be possible, or at least out of the house until he gets his act together? I know that living with an alcoholic is a very challenging situation and my heart goes out to you...
  12. I hear you true hope. I've had sort of a life like that too... gave much more than I received in most of my relationships, been treated with lack of consideration and appreciation. I now think that I drew, and sometimes continue to draw, that to myself because I lack self esteem. I don't see myself as worthy of more. I've thought a lot about that during the last year and have been doing a lot of work in that area, and I now find that I am clearer with regards to my boundaries, which is really helpful.... You sound like a lovely person True, do you think that perhaps you lost track of your worth somewhere along the way with all the abuse you have lived?
  13. Symora

    Elder abuse

    Amen to that True-hope.... I just started volunteering in an old age home this week and got a taste of it right away.... The people working there are tired and look like they would like to be anywhere but there. The old people look discheveled, drugged, and to a large degree abandonned to themselves. I was asked to feed two ladies, which I did. But the person across table, a little lady of probably 90, was not eating. So one of the attendants came over and started feeding her heaping tablespoons that she could not take in. It was running down each side of her mouth, and the attendant was just keeping on feeding her while chatting with her girlfriend. No dignity whatsoever, I was frankly appalled. My grandmother was in a centre up to last year when she passed at the age of 100. She had lots of stories of people being rough with her, impatient with her, and she was so frail and was so unheard as an elderly woman that she was powerless before them. What saved her is that she was a Leo and did not loose her fire and her capacity to scold right up until she died And we were there to fight for her as well, if nothing else than by being present often to ensure she was being treated well. Those who have no one to speak for them often don't fare so well... Thank you for reminding us that we need to continue to be there for our elders, be preoccupied by their needs and frailties ...
  14. Perhaps for me it's more about the home than the place. I've travelled a lot, on 4 continents, and frankly I have never been to a place that called me to go live there. I've liked some places, but I prefer where I am because of the size of the city mostly, government town with little industry so the air is clean and the wilderness is less than an hour away. The only other place I thought I might to live is Vancouver, BC because of the proximity to wilderness but also the sea right there to explore... the weather is also more temperate than it is on the east coast... The house I would like though, now that is something I can articulate much better .... fireplace, large open concept rooms with lots of light and atmosphere. Beautiful stone and wood floors, light and bright colour throughout....Nature nearby, with all the animals that come with it, clear air, and a view of water would be ideal. I don't want to be out in the bush though because then I would get lonely, so perhaps a village along a river. We actually have a larger river that goes through here, but properties along the river are so expensive!!! Anyway, that is my personal dream... I guess I'm more of nest builder :-)
  15. Posting here is fine. Now you have your own thread I also find that getting it out of myself is helpful, it helps me clarify within myself what is going on. It sounds like you are doing all the right things...the hard part is waiting for things to move a little. Do you have a counsellor at the university where you are at, or a therapist you can consult when you are struggling. Another option is talking regularly to a wise elder, someone who is good at listening and offering comfort and support. It's hard to do things on our own, no doubt about it... But we can assist with getting perspective and support, it's a smart thing to reach out to others in times of need A la prochaine
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