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LaLa last won the day on April 20

LaLa had the most liked content!

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About LaLa

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    one of the forum moderators

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  • Biography
    33 y.o., was in therapy for 2 years, but it ended too early (in 2011)


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  1. I dont know whats wrong with me...

    Hi, Kaia, how have you been doing?
  2. Everything’s bad again

    Hey, Renni, how are you? Have you found a new therapist already? It's sad that yours had a problem/conflict with your parents. But there are other therapists, even better-ones, one just has not to give up and search. Would you like to write more about your losses? Sometimes it helps at least a little bit to share what happened and how it has made you feel. We're still here to 'listen'... Take care!
  3. me....

    Have you the possibility to somewhere see this? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nosedive I have no idea .
  4. That sounds really frustrating and depressing, emed . May I ask what physicians told you about the condition? How many of specialists have you seen? Perhaps there is someone who could have a better insight than others (not many doctors know enough (or at all) about rare conditions, unfortunately). Also (sorry that I don't remember it from other posts); have you been in psychotherapy and / or medicated for your depression? Also, is there still some that can make you feel at least a bit good? Like, for instance, music you like and / or a doing something good and important for someone else? I hope this won't irritate you or make you feel misunderstood / 'dismissed', but there is a view on depression that says it exists to force us to think and change our lives for better (do you want some articles about it?). So from this point of view, you might interpret your symptoms as signs that you need to find new, "better" (more meaningful? more fulfilling?) sources of good feelings (not exactly pleasure which is, of course, the most intensive, but also the most elusive and short-lived). Perhaps once you find some contentment in your life, thanks to very different activities than before, you might even re-gain your ability to feel pleasure. (Think of it as an analogy to pain: When you take care about the injury, it may go away as its role has ended.) I know there's no certainty that it will work out this way, but isn't trying to get better (and hoping for change) a better option than succumb to despair? ... I know it's not easy at all, but... isn't it worth a try? And there surely are people (psychotherapists, ...?) who'd be able to support you and help... In any case, I wish you the best of luck to get better!
  5. Recommended readings

    Probably mainly for students: Fostering resilience among students: a little stress goes a long way (There is good evidence that exposure to some forms of stress leads to an individual sense of mastery and adaptability in the face of adversity.) https://www.universityaffairs.ca/opinion/in-my-opinion/fostering-resilience-among-students-little-stress-goes-long-way/ This might be a (funny) song to complement it : Or, "form a different point of view", this - but to fully appreciate the parody, you need to watch the original video (which already looks like an awkward parody but is meant seriously): Another article from the same magazine, written by a student: Dealing with mental health: a guide for professors: https://www.universityaffairs.ca/opinion/student-voices/dealing-with-mental-health-aguide-for-professors/
  6. Weekend entertainment

    My newest discovery - enjoy!
  7. Beer

    TRIGGER WARNING [SUICIDE] Not sure if it's "out of nowhere". But perhaps it's just a way to express other feelings (than real suicidality) in a way that is so often heard and seen "around": Similarly to swearing; we learn that some words convey some kinds of emotions and we don't mean them literally. Think of the F word - would you ever wonder "why would I want someone to literally "f... themselves" (ehm; if such a thing is/was possible)? It's out of nowhere; I don't want people to do that!" It seems to me that for some people and in some cases, saying things like "I'd wish to kill myself" is similar to swearing - it is a way to "vent" some emotions, not an expression of a real wish. But as we are (mainly of we are part of a community like this, with so many suicidal people!) habituated to beware of this kind of speech and thinking as it's seen as a huge risk factor of suicide, we take it perhaps too literally when it's not meant that way and it scares us. Doing it in case of others is a good way to be cautious, because "you never know [how much serious they are]", but if it's oneself who thinks / says that, I'm not sure being too alarmed is good, in case if, at the same time, one doesn't agree with the "suicidal statements". What do you think? I hope you see I'm not diminishing your suffering! I think it is important to address the reasons that lead to such thoughts! I'm only trying to re-direct the attention from the perhaps "exaggerated" perceived danger of the thoughts themselves to thinking about some positive changes that might be done to increase wellbeing (instead of being focused on "preventing suicide", thus still thinking (also) about death instead of more constructive reflections). (Sorry; I wrote this in a too complicated way - sometimes I overdo the attempt not to be misconstrued and it comes out less clear .) TRIGGER WARNING [BINGING] OK, I'll try saying this to myself explicitly and out loud. But when I'm "in the temptation/craving/... mode", I cannot care about logical arguments nor even about myself and my future. I just "don't care at all" and do the worst thing. (In my case, it's overeating and... even though I want not to have any junk-food around (it doesn't help much because I can binge healthy food as well if there's no junk around, or I can create "unhealthy food" out of "healthy" ingredients - it's all about the amount, obviously), I also, sometimes, switch to the "disconnected (from reason)" mode in shops and buy some junk. For instance, I buy it telling myself: "I'm going to teach myself self-control: I won't eat the whole bag of chips at once, but I'll eat only a little bit each day during the week, so it will make me feel good about my self-control." And then I eat it all on my way (!!!) home, not caring at all about anything . And... I'd always used to be very interested in healthy eating etc.; I know very well how and why what food is bad for me, so... there's no lack of info or lack of reasons to fear the consequences; there's just "a switch" in my brain that makes me totally indifferent towards everything except for "tasting something moreish for the longest time possible".) I hope very much my descriptions won't influence you nor anyone else negatively! I'm afraid it may have a negative impact; reading about people like me who've lost their self-control and ignore any reasonable advise although they do agree with the advise. ...
  8. Beer

    Thank you . This thread sounds so encouraging. I always like to see people to succeed to overcome their 'dangerous temptations'. (But it doesn't seem to give me hope to overcome mine anymore... *sigh*)
  9. Beer

    I'd supposed that, but... I preferred to ask . I'm sure in this case, it was my English that "betrayed me", because I wouldn't have expected such kind of sarcasm of you, yet the sentence sounded totally sarcastic to me. Hm. Thanks, Vic, for the explanation as well as for your encouragement .
  10. Beer

    Is that sarcastic? Sorry for having "hitchhiked" your thread .
  11. Beer

    Sorry for 'liking' both posts, Mark . Yes, but why seeing that sometimes doesn't help at all??? (Fortunately, not in Vic's case, as it seems.)
  12. survival guide in a civil war

    I've found this, for instance, but you may google more and find better advises, more useful for your particular situation: http://www.happypreppers.com/economic-collapse.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnB3vaV4S1k I hope you wont need it, though ...
  13. Primal Zodiac! come in folks!

    I haven't read it. The reason is here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnum_effect
  14. First question: Impossible to generalize, but I'd say mostly that I'm happy he enjoyed it and hope he won't be too sad / disappointed because of me. 2) It depends: If I knew from the beginning that "my chances are low", then not at all. 3) I'm sure that yes, but prove is unavailable. 4) I try to reassure him I don't mind.