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LaLa last won the day on October 12

LaLa had the most liked content!


About LaLa

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    one of the forum moderators

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  • Biography
    33 y.o., was in therapy for 2 years, but it ended too early (in 2011)


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  1. LaLa

    Stress? Anxiety?

    Hi, @Radya , welcome! First of all, don't worry about mistakes / English! We can understand you well and that's what matters. I'm sorry you've been feeling so unwell! It sounds like serious problems to me and I really think you should consult a professional. Might it be related to the fact you stoped taking your medication? I suppose it's possible, but I'm not a doctor. Also, heart problems can be caused by stress, too: https://www.activebeat.com/your-health/heart-palpitation-8-reasons-for-your-abnormal-heartbeat I'm sorry I don't have time now to write more, but I'll be back another time. Take care!
  2. (Sorry for not writing sooner ... Even now, I only have a while left!) I see. I didn't see her view as black-and-white, she seemed quite flexible to me in the series (taking into account some preferences of the 'clients'), but I don't know enough and also... the point is to find something you like and find helpful! I'll think about it and write more later. Take care!
  3. You're welcome, Lilly! I hope (seeing your enthusiasm ) I didn't give you some wrong impression that those articles will change everything for better. Healing is a long and complicated process. But I want you to know there are ressources like these (and surely many others - you can google even some more specific problems of yours) that can bring some useful hints, some guidance, clarifications, ... And I wish you to find them and put them into practice for your own good. You're worth it, you need and will get better, even if it probably sounds too hard to imagine to you, for the moment. Take care!
  4. Hi, Lilly, welcome! I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad and feel stuck in these problems . The most important thing I would suggest is to find a good psychiatrist. (Even though your current medication doesn't seem to be good for you, it should be possible to find the right one for you. Sometimes one has to try several medications (taking each for several weeks of months) before knowing what works. It's frustrating, but it's a long-term solution and I think it's worth it.) But as you say you cannot afford a doctor , I don't know if mentioning it is even worth it. But perhaps you'll find some affordable option you don't yet know about... (?) I've tried to find some helpful advises on the web, perhaps you'll find here something new that you could try: https://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/mania#coping-with-mania https://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/living-with-bipolar-disorder.htm https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/health-topics/ty6584 Also, this seems to be quite a big issue: I know it's not just a simple decision to change your priorities and behaviour and self-esteem, but I also know it's possible to make even such big changes (= start caring more about yourself, not overly trying to care for others, ...); it takes time and... professional help from a psychotherapist can be of huge help (I know; it's probably too expensive, but, please, check if there really aren't any affordable / free therapists (AND / OR a peer-support group or another kind of organisation helping people with mental illness!) where you live - sometimes you just don't know about it / them!). Here are some suggestions of reading about the topic: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-put-ourselves-last-why-self-care-priority/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201401/why-we-help-others-instead-ourselves https://www.terricole.com/the-danger-of-caring-about-others-more-than-yourself/ and The Book of life in general, for instance: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/self-love/ https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/self-knowledge/mood/ Good luck and keep posting!
  5. Thanks for clarifying, @Ladichy ! It has to be frustrating and annoying when someone else "(des)organizes" your stuff! And you then have to deal with it! Mainly when it's so overwhelming due to the quantity of things... I'm not the right person to give advise about these kinds of problems at all, but perhaps you can try watching some videos of Marie Kondo on YouTube an if you have Netflix, you could watch this series - first of all to loose your shame about your room (you can see all kinds of 'messes' there! ), to gain some hope / confidence that you, too, can do it, and also to get some useful tips: What do you think? In any case; good luck!
  6. Hello, William, welcome! I'm sorry you're in such pain; feeling rejected by your peers, dealing with a verbally agressive father, having more and more bad days . It can be hard for people to "fit in", especially when you're somehow "different" and when it's in a collective of people who are not understanding, empathetic enough etc., as most teenagers, for instance. Kids and teenagers can be quite cruel to their peers - for instance, by bullying, mocking, or ostracizing / ignoring them; you're certainly not alone in this (even if you're the only one in your class - are you?). I wonder what bothers you more: The way your "so called friends" treat you or the reason why they possibly (/probably?) do it - that they think you're stupid? Do you think there may be a different reason that they think you're "retarded"? Perhaps you're just not "cool" in their eyes, that's all. What does your mom think about it? How does she try to help you? What do you like doing, what do you enjoy and are good at? And a few questions to understand better your post: How did you feel when you were staring at the floor? Why do you think that you reacted that way? Also, when you say it repeated itself in different situations, you mean just your reaction to the treatment by others: the staring at the floor? And, just to be sure; what "it's not at all better at home" means? That you feel the same way even after coming home, or that you also mostly / often "stare at the floor" there? I'm not sure from your descriptions if what your classmates do is bullying, but at least to some extent, it fulfills the criteria. Perhaps, to begin, you could read about bullying and bullies to understand a bit why some people behave in such "unpleasant" and inappropriate ways. For instance, you can try here (or you can google similar articles in your language, of course) : https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/bullies.html https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ted+talk+bullying https://www.verywellfamily.com/reasons-why-teens-bully-others-460532 https://www.crchealth.com/youth-programs/5-reasons-teens-become-bullies/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201110/7-skills-teaching-your-child-stand-bullies And as to not understanding society "anymore"... Do you really think you did understand it before? I think the only think that has changed was that last few years, you have gradually learned a bit more about it, so it doesn't seem as simple as it usually seems to a child. And you can believe me, it's even more complicated and "crazy" than you can see as a teenager. We all gradually discover it's complexities as we grow up and it's part of "maturing" to... find ways how to "deal with" it all. Yes, people are complicated and sometimes impossible t understand, but they are not all "bad"; I believe you'll meet more better people later in your life (at least after school). And there are certainly some strategies how to cope better with your current situation. I suppose a youth psychologist could help you to learn some. Is there a psychologist available to you - in your school or, perhaps, elsewhere? Good luck, take care and keep up posted!
  7. Hi, Tobi, welcome! What would you like to make better about yourself? Take care!
  8. Hello, Stoicbearz, welcome! It seems you've already found a big part of the answer to your question, but it doesn't seem to help. Discovering the reasons of a preference or behaviour is important, but in most cases, some hard "work" needs to be done to change - or to accept - it. I'm not sure one can do it only on one's own (some people can, perhaps); psychotherapy can help a lot. Have you ever considered it? Can you go to therapy to address your issues? I'm sorry I don't have actual insight; I'm not really familiar with this particular issue. I just know therapy could help you to understand your needs more and figure out if you can somehow modify them or how to meet them. You might, perhaps, find some interesting insights about relationships in general on this website, not only in this 'chapter': https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/relationships/finding-love/ Good luck and take care!
  9. I hope at least some of you will appreciate this (I really love this philosophy and this philosopher, as some of you might have already noticed๐Ÿ˜ž
  10. Hello, @Ladichy, welcome! I hope that as your psychiatrist realized you also have this problem, he/she can now start to suggest new strategies to help you. Do you see the psychiatrist only for medication or are you also in psychotherapy? I believe psychotherapy would be the best option, possibly together with some other changes, as Vic suggested in the previous post. What do you think? Good luck!
  11. I would recommend this to everyone with SPS, as well as to those who are absurdly and shamlessly cruel to them (by making fun of them etc.๐Ÿ˜ž
  12. LaLa

    My MIL

    Hello again and sorry for not replying sooner! I'm sorry it's so terribly complicated! It seems the problem is not only your MIL, but also your husband, at least when it comes to dealing with her. He should be more on your side and, mainly, trying much more to understand your point of view! I see that the current situation may make you think about divorce . However, if your MIL is the only serious problem, it sounds like... well, you know. There should be other ways. One of the reasons of my late reply is that I didn't know 'what to suggest'. The only advise I have for you is to persuade your husband to start marriage counselling. Of course, first you should probably try to explain to him, really in details, what your problems are and how his reactions to them have been affecting you and your marriage, so that he would understand the point of the counselling: To find a way how to "deal with" your MIL without endangering your marriage. What do you think? Good luck!!!
  13. Thank you for your reply and for taking the test and sharing the results with us! I hope that it's encouraging to you to know that you only seem to have some autistic tendencies. I'm glad to hear that you're going to see a professional! (Even if it doesn't have anything to do with autism, there are reasons to do it; managing and eliminating your anxieties, improving your relating to others, ...) I wish you to find the time to do it soon as well as to find someone really good! What is "going on" in your life (if you don't mind sharing)? Did your problems started / increased after those stresses / issues / ... had begun in your life? Take care!
  14. Hi again, Jktw, I wonder in what ways you are different and if it could be - as another forum member already suggested - related to some form of autism. Would you try taking a few on-line tests and letting us know what the results suggested? For instance: https://autismcanada.org/about-autism/diagnosis/screening-tools/adult/ https://www.additudemag.com/screener-autism-spectrum-disorder-symptoms-test-adults/ On-line testing is not reliable enough ( https://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx ), but perhaps it'll make you think deeper about your differences. It's always better to know if your problem is an already known, well-descried condition, because if yes, then it should be easier to find appropriate help. If this is unrelated to autism, then we can start trying getting to know you better and help to figure out what could help. Take care and good luck! L.
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