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LaLa last won the day on April 13

LaLa had the most liked content!


About LaLa

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    one of the forum moderators

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  • Biography
    33 y.o., was in therapy for 2 years, but it ended too early (in 2011)


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  1. How have you been doing, @Obsolete? I hope we'll hear from you soon...
  2. I'm sorry you feel ignored here. I don't have the impression that you've been ignored. Yours is probably due to the fact that you're not yet used to this forum - there are posts that don't receive any reaction and many other that only receive very little reaction; unfortunately, there aren't enough active people here to be able to answer everything. It has nothing to do with willingly ignoring you. I don't have any idea about dating from my own experience, but I'd recommend you this website - I like it very much for every aspect of psychology: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/relationships/dating/ https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/relationships/finding-love/ I hope you'll find there several useful tips and insights! Good luck!
  3. LaLa

    It was not your fault that he left! Please, don't worry about this at all...
  4. LaLa

    I'm sorry you feel bad about this all, @Klingpeach . It's OK that you posted what you posted. It's not your fault that it wasn't "understandable" to some. If you want, I'll delete this thread. But before doing so, I'll leave some time to others to read your latest post here. I hope it's OK.
  5. LaLa

    By "here", you mean in this particular topic / thread? I understood it like you writing about the SPS forum, not this thread, but @Klingpeach seems to have understood it as attacking his posts here, which is sad. Or you meant the comments he (Klingpeach) meant when he was complaining about the "discussion" below the article he posted?
  6. Hello, @the_anonymous_one, welcome! I'm female and from my perspective, you don't have any reason to be worried. There, unfortunately, are some women (I know about their existence only from the posts in this SPS forum!) who care about size and girth in men, as well as men who ridicule other men just based n their "member", so yes, some people can perhaps offend you (although I don't have any idea if the numbers you mentioned are "too low" for them or not), but I'd say the most important for you is not to develop an anxiety around this issue; not to develop the SPS - a syndrome that makes suffer even those who are happily married to a woman who likes them as they are. Don't let your current little insecurities increase and take control over you and your dating etc. Don't focus on your anatomy, try to focus on your relationships. Good luck!
  7. LaLa

    Try to re-read his second post.
  8. Sorry if you won't like the association (everyone has a different sense of humor), but this reminds me so much of this joke (it's a brief excerpt of a talkshow - the punchline (= the last sentence of the excerpt I want to "quote" here) is a sentence containing the word "pizza") :
  9. LaLa

    Nightmares, PTSD

    Hello, Octavia, welcome! I'm sorry you've been suffering like this . It's a lot of stress, living in such fear. Good idea to 'reach out' on this forum! I hope it will help at least to some extent. You can even find here many 'distractions' - for instance; http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/8843-weekend-entertainment/ http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/forum/33-recommended/ http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/6704-music-therapy/page/6/ etc. It seems that you might experience PTSD also due the abuse by your partner, that's why you're so very scared. Does your therapy address also the PTSD? (There are some very new therapies for rapid and effective treatment of this condition, but they are, unfortunately, not available in most countries , at least not yet. But perhaps the great results will persuade more countries to adopt it...) May I ask you more about the actual risk you're in? (Because fear is one thing and real danger another.) How probable is it that you'll meet your ex by accident? Do you live in a big city? Are you sure you both frequent the same places? What does your therapist think about the risks? And how are you satisfied with the therapist and the treatment? Have you already seen improvements? It seems that probably that this new situation (your ex back in the city) is the main problem now. (Do you agree?) Are there people (other than the therapist) who can help you to cope with it? What used to help you, other than medication? Have you learned some techniques (CBT, ...) to calm yourself, to alleviate anxiety? If not yet, I think this is a good way to go: Learning new ways to calm down. Meds are helpful but... make sure you don't overuse them... I have to go now. Take care and good luck!
  10. My hypothesis is that the oversexualisation and superficial "valorisation" of "loosing virginity soon" in 'western' societies is some kind of backlash to the previous centuries of the opposite extreme imposed by religions: The revolution in the 60ties (enabled by contraception) liberated people from absurd (and often even dangerous) 'prudery', but then also went too far and now some people think that "being a virgin" as adult and / or being asexual is somehow... "weird". Fortunately, it doesn't come with similar dangers as loosing virginity before marriage used to in the past (or in still present in many other cultures)...
  11. Of course you don't deserve any shaming. It's the same as with all people who are different in a "not cool" (/ not appreciated by the majority) way. Do disabled deserve to be shamed or bullied, for instance? People who shame or bully others are just idiots and / or need some psychological help themselves to get over their own issues which make them behave like jerks...
  12. Hi, redCanine, welcome! What have been your problems related to virginity?
  13. Hi, Ava, welcome! I'm sorry your marriage has become so difficult . It doesn't sound like being related to his ADHD. May I ask what do you mean by "everything's changed"? Except for his jealousy, what else is different? And have you already talked about it with him? What does he say? Does he admit he's changed, did he give some reasons? Good luck and take care!
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