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LaLa last won the day on August 9

LaLa had the most liked content!


About LaLa

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    one of the forum moderators

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  • Biography
    33 y.o., was in therapy for 2 years, but it ended too early (in 2011)


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  1. Oh, sorry (I was assuming just based on statistics), I see. But I'm sure you can google similar info for the UK. (I don't have time to do it now...)
  2. LaLa


    You're not soppy, nor a git! And I totally agree with you that it "should" happen more often (not that we could force anyone, of course ). I'm glad you posted what you posted - I hope it can be an inspiration for some. (We usually don't mention on the forum having made friends here - perhaps it's a shame!) I'm particularly glad that you recommend it, as it shows you're not "bitter" about the experience because of its tragic end (sorry for mentioning it but you surely think of it anyway ).
  3. LaLa

    I was a bit unsure

    I'm glad you like the experience of being a member of this forum . I hope that after some time, you'll take advantage of it to open up more and perhaps discuss more your life, your options to get better (or you haven't suffered from being "different"?...), to never be tempted to do something illegal and/or harmful again, ... I know it's difficult, but perhaps it can be useful to try... Take care!
  4. It seems the conditions depend on the state you're living in. I've found this, for instance: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_offender_registries_in_the_United_States#Exclusion_zones http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2014/08/sex_offender_registry_laws_by_state_mapped.html Does it answer your questions?
  5. LaLa


    Just a kind of "P.S.": There are more of us who have made ("off-forum") friends here, so I can only second this recommendation.
  6. LaLa

    Good books

    I wonder then, @YOTH, if you'd like the musical Matilda! https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=matilda+musical+ Some examples:
  7. LaLa

    Tom...a real person

    It's natural that you feel "messed up" (but you surely know that)... I think all you can "do with yourself" is to try to take care. Yes, it includes allowing yourself to be sad (and angry and any other emotion that comes naturally to you in this situation), but perhaps you might try a strategy that I've heard of from some people: Choosing a particular time each day (some 30 min) to focus on your grief (being alone, crying or talking to yourself or writing about it etc.). They say it can help with the rest of the day - when you sort of "compartmentalize" like this. It doesn't mean you won't ever be sad at other times, but the most intense emotions could be avoided. It is also recommended to "keep your routine up" and do simple things for yourself. Here are some recommendations, perhaps you'll find some inspiration there: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/dealing-with-grief-and-loss/#how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm#yourself I know it may seem absurd to "follow a guide" when grieving (as it's such a personal and emotional issue that "guides" may sound useless), but... I think the recommendations come from many experiences and may be truly useful... Last few days, I've been thinking about sharing here some info about the causes of suicides. I'm not sure if it can be helpful to someone grieving and / or questioning "why that happened", but I'm finally going to try: The main "message" is that we, as "observers" (= including friends and family), cannot predict suicide based on behaviour and mental illness and that suicidality is better considered as a type of mental illness of its own, not as a usual part of depression. Some people have predispositions to it and those can be only revealed by detailed medical and biochemical examination, not so much (at least so far) by "psychological observation". So, when you ask yourself "why did he do it?", part of the response is "because of his biological settings". It doesn't make it any less tragic, obviously, but it helps to elucidate part of the mystery / part of "the incomprehensible". Here are some short excerpts about it (and their sources):
  8. LaLa

    Hi all

    Hi, Dave! In what way are you creative - what do you like doing?
  9. Hello, Daveuk, welcome! I moved your post to another forum and added the warning to give the people who'd prefer to avoid this topic the possibility to do so. I know the term "sexual abuse" is not the best to express the topic, but I hope it could "keep away" the victims of an abuse who could struggle with reading this. You said you're "feeling bit unsure of yourself". What exactly do you mean? And how do you perceive what you've done, now? I think it's always a very good idea to "talk", so I hope you'll find here a place to share your thoughts and feelings and to gain new insights.
  10. https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/why-anger-has-a-place-in-love/
  11. LaLa

    Tom...a real person

    Don't know what to say... It somehow reminded me of this video (not that I want to make unnecessary connections; it's just the topic of suicide...) :
  12. Video included (this is its transcript) : https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-meaning-of-life/
  13. I know it's quite out of topic, but your generalizing list reminds me of this-one (only a few seconds of the video) - and of the reaction of the other character to the list: https://youtu.be/uJGmC2q2kEg?t=279 Which also reminds me of another (longer) scene - about "shallowness", but with a slightly different priority than you suppose (which shows that even generalizing opinions differ) : https://youtu.be/_NjFQaib6YE Sorry, no "advise" this time, just "BTW" comments / associations...
  14. LaLa


    How have you been, M.? Does the summer job help you already? I wonder if this text might make you feel a bit better - yet, I mainly hope it won't make you feel more sad! : https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/on-feeling-depressed/ Hugs, L.
  15. LaLa

    I dont know what to do?

    https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/on-feeling-depressed/ Hugs, L.