Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Small

Members
  • Content count

    1,345
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    43

Small last won the day on June 1

Small had the most liked content!

About Small

  • Rank
    VIP Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    UK
  • Interests
    Psychology. Rain. Tea. Chocolate. Films. Melancholy. Machiavellianism. Deception. Conditioning. Psychological calculus. Love. Lust. Discussion. Illuminati. Pansexuality.
  • signature
    Please like my posts so I can win the day.

Recent Profile Visitors

2,345 profile views
  1. Small

    Confidence / Self Confidence

    Negative indeed, but true.
  2. Small

    My so called life

    @jazz I'm okay with being upset. Since boyhood I was worrying about something or another. The tides of sadness go from one place to another in me - never truly relenting. My problem is my situation & that I am stuck. It's one thing moving through life in despair but it's another not moving at all. I try to shape and control whatever's in my grasp, but i've noticed there are firm obstructions outside of my reach that stop me living even a substandard existence. I'm like a mouse trapped inside a maze of which there's neither a centre nor an exit. So I wonder full of purpose but from the very beginning it was always futile. I can't fault myself so much as these universal barriers - call them chance, fate ot karma. I don't know. But i am the true loser because I still try & struggle. Am i churning the cream into butter or am I tightening the noose around my neck? I'm not perfect because i have bad habits. At least if i didn't try i wouldn't experience so much turbulence, or the humiliation of seeing how little I yield from what I sow. I feel useless. It rained on Sunday - there was a thunderstorm. It hadn't rained that hard in years. I watched it from my doorstep at first, the thunder rolled continuously with no break. I've never heard that before. The lighting flashed 3, 4 even 5 times per set. I got my umbrella and walked to the park. Some people feel happy on a sunny beach, others in the bustling city. But stood under the heavy clouds & continous storm i felt at one with myself. It's so peaceful. The walkways turned into makeshift streams, the grass into marshland. But i swear until this day, the wonder of rain gushing from the heavens always takes my breath away. It is so, so, beautiful. I'm rambling. I am just stuck. Some of us have to be.
  3. Small

    My so called life

    @IrmaJean I've been skating yeah. I'm still not confident enough to skate outdoors so the lap around the park hasn't happened. The cracks and overall uneven "terrain" really jerks me around. Do u have tips regarding that? (I can skate just fine indoors so idk how to address that.)
  4. Small

    My so called life

    Sorry Jazz, I'm sure u would have made lovely company but i was consumed by grief. I've seen my friends a few times since i last mentioned & I'm in a WhatsApp chat group with them. I've only played football with them twice & have declined anymore invitations regarding that. It's sad to see that they have moved on so much, and that I'm probably the outsider. One small positive is that I'm not "hiding" (as they put it) from them anymore. They know how to reach me & I'm always up for non-sport related things with them. I'm still trying to address a lot of ongoing issues, failing mostly. For what it's worth I'm still trying and giving it my best efforts but alas. I feel stuck since so much is outside of my control. I've self harmed a few times too since my last post regarding it, but it's largely under control. I've quit the more harmful things and stick to what i can handle. I don't know if i can ever stop it fully. Other than that i have small ups but massive downs. And i am talking suicidal. I recently opened up to my mum but now I'm consumed by guilt because I know she'll worry about me. I should have kept it to myself. It's been just over 9 months since Resolutes passing & i have been checking his profile ever since. Maybe it's out of habit, maybe out of hope that he's somehow back.
  5. Small

    My so called life

    Gosh. I am so ...... Miserable.
  6. Small

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    He text me again today, saying to come for football this evening. I'm not as keen because my legs are still sore & I was so bad last time. But I might go anyway. I have a few hours to think about it. We have a thing on Sunday I've already agreed to which isn't sports related thank god.
  7. Small

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    Good to see you're finding things you enjoy. Friends have a way of making certain things bearable. The friend who's father's funeral i went to called me earlier asking to come to the park to play football. I'm not into it but said okay just to go meet them. I was awful it was embarrassing. I met some of the group again though & that has made me feel warm & nostalgic.
  8. Small

    Small victory

    @lostboy1 It's probably best you start up a new thread on Small Penis vs Small Penis Syndrome & we can discuss things there. I read some of the journal article & i find it very dubious as to how the findings were summarised. I don't have much more to add on the topic without getting technical & esoteric.
  9. Small

    Small victory

    Thank you for clarifying my position here. I wasn't offended by the thread or series of posts. I just found the brief exchange the OP shared with Griz warranted a decisive response & as usual i had to be the bad guy. i do understand that the desire for a larger penis can be persistent in some normal sized guys & it warrants attention. They have every right to air their troubles regarding it. Since most of the normal sized guys on here have taken the trouble to admit they are normal sized I simply wanted to return the favor & remind them that by doing this what they suffer from is not a 1) medical condition 2) a belief or 3) a delusion. It is in more shallow waters than that. I have no doubt that they are bothered by their size. I am not claiming otherwise. But i feel that in an attempt to welcome our counterparts with open arms we have muddied the well needed lines between us which add add perspective to our so called victories & defeats in everyday life. I remember years ago sps was frequently compared to anorexia by one particular member. That none of the sufferers were ever fat beyond following a certain poundage of weight loss. But because they believed they were fat, it fuelled a whole host of delusions which caused more erratic & continuous starvation than in normal obese women. This its in the mind not the body narrative was subsequently pushed here. However, a fundamental & obligatory requirement to anorexia or any body dismorphic disorder is a firm unwavering belief in that they are physically inadequate (regardless of the nominal range in which they fit). Therapy is acutely aimed to challenge this belief & this can take years, with poor success rates & high relapse rates. But the difference between the good people of this sub-forum & legitimate BDD sufferers is that in most cases they don't even believe they have a small penis, since they declare this matter occasionally. With no belief of a physical shortcoming how can there be a meaningful delusion? There can't. And with no delusion we are left with weak & fragmented notions that they just need to be bigger. Now, for anyone who does suffer from that, you have a home here. Clearly you can't be likened to people who are dandy with their genital formation. Anyway lostboy1, I hope I haven't waffled on here. I was just trying to stand up for you. I know you weren't being picked on but i did sense some frustration on your part which stems from this "equal misery" notion which is bullshit in my opinion. I am dearly sorry for hijacking the thread. Well done to the OP for feeling adequate with his wife.
  10. Small

    Small victory

    @lostboy1 If people with normal sized penises have a right to complain about their size complexes, you have a right to distinguish between an actual small penis and what is essentially a mental impairment on their part. I hope my comments aren't recieved harshly, but when I consider that the former group (just like the OP) candidly state they're not actually small - I'm sure I'm not pointing out anything unusual. People like you (& myself) have actual physical impairments and this is why normal sized sps sufferers will never, ever, under any circumstance experience what we do. It is apples & oranges. We are not in the same boat we're not even in the same lake. So you have every right to draw this distinction. Not to beat this to death but imagine a an average looking girl who feels ugly. It would be one thing if she truly believed it, but if she's able to candidly admit she's average looking then it isn't even a belief! & compare her to a genuinely ugly girl. Their lives & limitations would be completely different. They don't even have the same disorder. One's grievance is born of a genuine physical shortcoming whilst the other is probably displacing something else or wants to be "very" pretty. When you consider that she's actually able to admit she's "average looking" then it's curious as to how deeply rooted & widely spread her mental/emotional grief is. I'll give you a clue - not very. Again - I am not trying to say that even the average guys couldn't benefit from a little bit more cockage, but once they admit they are normal sized then I find it difficult to sympathise. That by definition isn't a delusion. It's not a belief. So it isn't deeply rooted. Thus it can't be widespread (mentally/emotionally). It's just a guy who wants more.
  11. Small

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    Good to see you're hanging in there.
  12. Small

    My so called life

    Reads? Whoa. This here be the flicks section. Book stand down the hall to your right.
  13. Small

    me....

    Isn't that closer to reality than the opposite?
  14. Small

    me....

    That isn't a bad thing for adults. There's nothing wrong with being toughened up.
  15. Small

    My so called life

    I saw this too I liked it. Something similar I liked was The big short (2015). More outdoorsy but also based on the '08 recession. Strong cast too.
×