Jump to content
Mental Support Community


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Lostone56 last won the day on April 5 2016

Lostone56 had the most liked content!

About Lostone56

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • signature

Recent Profile Visitors

571 profile views
  1. Lostone56


    Anyone here process iCloud removal ?
  2. Living in hell all because I tore off my flesh responsible for growth that was attached to my genetalia at age 12. I never got to grow out my genetalia .when trying to walk home from school I could feel my body shifting internally an externally my clothes felt uncomfortable I couldn't move around much at school because I'd sweat too much . I remember I could run really fast but I got sluggish this was not supposed to happen me ! I tried to kick the soccer ball really hard but my strength was cut off completely from me at my pelvis no energy could be transferred to my foot . Something had went really wrong. I don't want to be in this world no more !!! Why was I allowed to see porn at age 12 . My mind infected with the imagery of sex . Why did my neighbor 18 year old son had to sexually imprint on me at age 8 i grow trying to force myself to have sex with my neighbors daughter at age 10 and female cousin at age 11 but couldn't after the imprint too place . all i wanted to learn was how to play stupid marble because I didn't know how to spin the glass ball ? Some say why don't you kill yourself ! Everybody would be happy if you died ! If I hit them I'd be wrong to do so 😢 .
  3. Same here . There's no way out only time ending like a clocks battery dieing . I'm not welcome anywhere I go . Getting a job is difficult because deformity is not welcome in my country. Upon observation I fail the penis inspection test of acceptance to society . And I can clearly see that I'm not welcome around my family . So I spend majority of my time hiding. I can't even put food on the table 😢 !
  4. Yeah that's what he has even curves to the side . i'd say the neighbor 18 yr old was about 8 " I remember like it was yesterday
  5. I masterbated too much and the attachment started coming off . This part is attached to the head of the penis clearly visible to the eye . It's responsible for the growth. The attachment at the back came of when I had sex with a girl one time . if u look at your finger nail an imagine the forskin over it .the nail would be the important part that I took off too early and finger the penis . it weakend me I couldn't kick a football from the goal to the other half of the field. When my aunt found out a wasn't developing she made sure her son never masterbated by being there for him when he showered. Each time I saw it was coming off . I regret the past . all I needed was for them to put a stop to what ever was going through my child mind . I wasn't addicted . just pick up a bad habit. dad has a 14 " penis I saw wen I was kid it was at the knee.
  6. I was the one who ripped off the important part of my penis too early when I was a kid . that's what I did wrong early in life . I shouldn't of been thinking about sex. What triggered this was seeing it on TV . I remember when my neighbors 18 yr old son had brought down my pants when I was 5 yrs old and wanted to put his penis where it didn't belong :'( I remember clearly talking a walk to the hospital when I was 13 and had asked the doctor for a way to end my life because I knew I had destroyed the development of penis.
  7. Where do I go from here now ? When I look back in the past . Everything that went wrong I can't change. I can't blame God for my mistake when I was a child . I wasn't conscious . Wisdom came too late . It's difficult to ignore being ridicule and rejected ( scorned ) by both male and female . This isn't what I had planned . I can't Tuck in my shirt .I barely can find a pants to wear because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Trapped because of my deformity . being laughed at on bus by the crowd of people and everywhere I go I can't co-op with life much more !! What choice do I have when clearly some says to another they should of made it into a girl instead because they can't see my penis or a girl saying he she . why is it that everyone knew something I didn't the boys I grew up with and the people I was around knew something was going wrong for me but no one said anything to educate me . I can clearly remember the way they looked at my crutch . my friend had ask me why is your penis small.my stupid reply was because my zipper was small lol .Nah it because of the wrong things I did too early in my life . That was as the answer i should of given back then . He was 3 years younger than me then . He made it through puberty I didn't . My hearts hurting me I don't know what to do any more :'( my mind took too long develop and understand everything by the time I realized I had f#@% everything up there was no going back to fix what I had done . I try to avoid friends and stay away from other now :'( what really puzzles me is why didn't my parents step in to prevent this . All they did was laughed about it . My childhood destroyed my teenage years and my adult hood :'(
  8. Why do you blame God ? We can't be angry with God .
  9. We all start off with a small penis . having patience and staying away from masturbation is the key to make it through the development stage something I didn't know back then :'(
  10. I admit that being inside a girl is v#$%& is amazing .
  11. Was I the one who caused this downfall in my life ? Out of 99.9 % of the community I was the only one who went wrong ? In the end it was my fault :'( All I need was discipline and self-control but I wasn't conscious of what the end result would bring . I remember being ask if I am a boy or a girl and others asking one another what am I ? Not being developed has its huge downfall the laughter and ridicule on a daily basis . Rejection from the others is clearly visible. Finding clothes to hide the deformity is impossible. :'( How do I smile through it all ? :'( I can't change the past its all gone . what did i learn from it all ? I remember my neighbor 18 yr old son pulling my pants down when I was 5 yrs old . porn was viewed too early as well . The fantasy of wanting to have sex with girls came too early . By the time I had hit 13 yrs it was over for me . :'(
  • Create New...