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emed27

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emed27 last won the day on September 8 2017

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    Ernesto Medina

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  1. @LaLa I actually self diagnosed myself from doing online searches of my symptoms and also I watched a show on tv where some guy had the same problem I had. According to the show this condition is also called “p.d.o.d” and it’s very rare with no cure. Only difference between me and the guy from the show was that he still had a sex drive. I don’t. I literally have no sexual response (although i can still get an erection through stimulation). You have no idea how much this hurts. It pisses me off because during the time it happened i was already going through some serious mental issues , but I always had hope things will get better. “I’m only 17” I would tell myself. And then BOOM! I had to deal with this issue. I don’t know what the point of living is anymore. I don’t have a sexual response , I can’t taste my food and I still suffer from severe psychiatric problems. The few doctors I’ve told this to have no idea what it is. I can’t live with this stress and anguish anymore.
  2. Since I’ve been 17 I believe i suffer from a condition known as “sexual anhedonia” which is where a person ejaculates but feels no pleasure from it. See, before that, I was a very lonely and depressed teenager. I started to develop some serious psychiatric problems, However, my orgasms were my way of escape. I was addicted to masterbating and thinking about sex. Then suddenly one night i was in the middle of masterbating and I noticed I was about to have a really intense orgasm. So right before I was about to ejaculate I squeezed my head together in order to lower the intensity of the orgasm because I didn’t want to have a heart attack and then all of a sudden BOOM, I ejaculated and felt absolutely no pleasure. I immediately knew there was something wrong. I thought I broke something in my brain and now have to live with pleasureless orgaasms. Anyway, ever since that night I no longer have a sex drive or have any type of sexual attraction. Porn doesn’t turn me on anymore, absolutely zero libido. And when I force myself to masterbate in hopes of feeling a euphoric relief, i feel nothing. I’m now 25 and ever since that night I’ve woken up every day with sever anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts because i no longer feel my orgasms or have a sexuality. I also noticed that I can no longer find pleasure in food. It’s almost like I broke the part of the brain that controls satisfaction. I’ve had an mri and it came out good. I just don’t know how to cope with this any longer. The one thing that relieved me from all pain (my orgasms) no longer functions. It’s been like this for the past 8 years. I hope everyday that it’s just all in my head but I know it isn’t. I just don’t know what to do.
  3. Thank you everyone for trying to uplift me. Definitely made me feel a bit better. I swear we should all meet up for brunch one day lol. Thanks again!
  4. @lostboy1 I’m actually 4.5 , 4.7 on a good day with a 4.5 girth. And no this isn’t bone pressed. I’ve always thought measuring bone pressed was like cheating a little bit. And i wanna believe you when u say I’m average, but I just cant. You heard what @2thin2win‘s experience was like. Thank you for your positive words tho. I really do appreciate it.
  5. @2thin2win Wow, that was pretty harsh but very true. I guess I try to convince myself at times that I’m “not that small” and that it’s all in my head. But the reality is that it’s not. It’s very depressing to know I can’t “hook up” or have casual one night stands like people my age are doing. There might be no shame and depression when meeting the right one but living with this condition day to day and realizing i will most likely get complaints if not in my face than behind my back if i would to ever muster up the courage and “hook up” with someone definitely comes with a lot of grief and negative emotions. Thanks for keeping it real man. I think I’m starting to come to terms with realizing that the people who are telling me that I’m “not that bad” on this website are just trying to make me feel better. Just accepting the fact that I have a tiny penis is really hard. Idk, maybe one day I’ll get to a point where it won’t consume my life. But for now my life is just filled with grief and depression. 😒. Thanks for the reply man.
  6. So @GoingInsane‘s comment about how “not that bad” I am made me feel a bit better about myself and gave me a boost of self esteem. But then I read @2thin2win‘s comment about being humiliated and even rejected at one point and brought up the fact that we’re the same size and the shame and depression case rushing back. Damn, I never win 😔
  7. @YOTH Thank you so much for your words man. Means a lots. I have a question for you. How did your wife react when she saw your penis for the first time? How did other partners react? Did she laugh, look disappointed or make a comment? Being that I’m only like half an inch smaller than you Im sure I’ll probably get a similar reaction. And be honest please, I could handle it. Believe it or not the very few people who have seen it have told me that I’m not small and I’m “average” when I ask them. But I’m sure they’re only lying to make me feel better or to prevent things from being awkward. What gives me anxiety and depression is the reputation that will most likely come about after I expose my self to someone. People talk. Especially after a hook up. I’m sure someone will tell all their friends or maybe even tell me once I pull it out that I have a small penis and that will just kill me. I just feel less of a man because of my size you know? It just sucks.
  8. @lostboy1 so you want more details about my misery right? Ok. Since I’ve been 17 years old I’ve suffered from a rare sexual dysfunction called “sexual anhedonia,”which is a rare condition in which people feel No pleasure from an orgasm. Which killed me when that happened because before that I was addicted to masterbating my pain away. I know literally ejaculate and feel no pleasure from it.im also don’t get aroused anymore: I feel like I’m an asexual now. Nothing turns me on anymore and I hate it! Before I was full blow gay and I’ve accepted it now I don’t feel any form of sexual attraction towards anyone. That alone has cause great distress since it happened.ALSO, I’m a Virgin with an std that i gave to myself. There was a point in my life where i was d desperate and determined to feel sexual pleasure somehow someway so i started to atemp masterbating my anal area in my desperate attempt. Well by doing that, i apparently gave my self the Hpv virus: it was the worst feeling in the world when my doctor looked at me and said well this is a life long virus that you will have for the rest of your life , so i would just be responsible and tell potiontial parters before u engage o sex: my heart dropped cuz i was literally a Virgin when she told me that. Never had oral, or especially anal. Doesn’t make Any sense : oh and let’s not forget about my list of mental illness. I struggle with SEVERE DEPRESSION AND ocd and anxiety. And adhd. I’m also obese. At 5’7 I weigh 215 lbs. and I’m extremely unattractive. And to top everything off I have a tiny 1 inch penis. How’s that for a miserable life?
  9. I just wanna die. I feel nothing but this tremendous amount of grief everyday. No happiness. I don’t think I’ve ever even experienced that emotion. I’m tired of pretending like every is ok. It’s emotionally exhausting. I’ll turn 25 next month and I’m dreading it. It’s another year of youth wasted with grief and depression. No one understands. I’m sure no one will even respond to this. I’m just done.
  10. If you guys remember me, I’m the guy that has posted here before talking about having a “4.7” inch penis. But to be completely honest with u guys and even to myself, I’m only 4.7 on a good day. Meaning I have to have a really strong erection to be that size. For the most part I’m 4.5, as in 4 and a half. I realized that today as I spent about 15 minutes with a ruler next to my penis obsessively measuring it. I have finally come to terms that I have a 4 and a half inch penis and realized that I use the “.7” as a security blanket to make myself feel a little bit better. It doesn’t help that my penis is only 1 inch or maybe even a little bit less when completely flaccid. It even goes inside and disappears if I bend over or sit down when completely soft to just a little piece of wrinkled foreskin (sorry for the nasty visual). This emotionally kills like crazy. It consumes my mind, self esteem and mood 24/7 , 7 days a week. There’s not one minute that passes that I’m not thinking about having a tiny penis. It’s this gut wrenching physically painful torture I can feel from inside my chest and stomach that even makes me feel like throwing up sometimes. I know that may sound like I’m over reacting but it’s the truth and I just can’t help how I feel. If you remember reading my other posts you know that I also suffer from severe mental health issues along with sexual dysfunction that already cause extreme distress, this “tiny penis” issue doesn’t help. Everyday I’m envious at the guys at work or on instagram who I’m almost positive have an at LEAST statistically average penis size and don’t have to worry about this. I’m constantly thinking about the fact that I can never date or have casual hook ups or cool one night stands like people my age are having without being rediculed if not in my face than behind my back. I feel worthless, like less of a man. I’m not a man. Not with my 1 inch penis. I don’t think I can go on with this unbearable pain of feeling inadequate any more. That along with all these other issues I have to deal with is too much for me to take. I have a 4 and a half inch penis. There. I said it again. It’s not “4.7” or just a “couple millimeters shy of 5”, it’s four and a freakin half. This kills me. I don’t know how I or any one can live a normal and truly happy life with this condition. I just don’t see it happening. I feel extremely depressed and suicidal everyday and I don’t know what to do. I’m slowly giving up. I’m sorry for acting like a drama queen. I don’t even know why I wrote this. Just felt the long need to vent I suppose. Sorry for the long rant, just don’t know what to do or how to cope with this pain.
  11. emed27

    I think I don't have a reason to live anymore

    @DontWannaLiveNoMore I have u beat by half an inch buddy. I'm 4.5, 4.7 at its hardest. I completely understand the anguish that comes with it. It's like a gut wrenching torture that u can feel from deep inside your stomach. I can't really give u much advice because I suffer from the same extreme insecurity and feel ssuicidal from it on a daily basis, but I can definitely tell u your not alone. There's people who have it worse. Look at me for example, on top of feeling like I have a small penis, I also suffer from a sexual dysfunction that prevents me from feeling sexual pleasure at all. I literally can't feel my orgasms. I ejaculate and feel absolutely nothing. I also suffer with severe mental health problems. That along with the feeling of having a tiny penis makes me a pretty miserable man. Might I add I'm only 1 inch flaccid, which emotionally kills like crazy. Just keep your head up. Let's try to be positive together. I'm here if u need anything man. And if it makes u feel better, I've litterly never had any complaints. I'm still a virgin, but I've had some sexual experiences with oral and being masterbated. I'm so insecure that every time someone would see it the first thing I would ask is "it's small huh?" And they would always tell me "no" and that I'm "average". I once asked someone to estimate how many inches they thought I was and they said "6" which is pretty average to me. So u being not that far off from me, I bet you'll get a similar reaction. Cheer up man. I hope all gets well with u. I sure hope the same for myself.
  12. As I've said before, I'm extremely insecure about the size of my penis. It causes me Great Depression and anxiety on a daily basis. But do you guys think it's all in my head or should i really have a reason to dwell on this? Completely flaccid Iam only 1 inch and completely erect Iam 4.7". This is non bone pressed btw, I wonder if that would make a difference. Anyway, I know the average is 5-6, more specifically 5.5, and ive always wished my penis was 1 inch bigger so I can at least be statistically average, or even just half an inch bigger so i can at least be in the "5 inch range". As you know from reading my other posts, this is just a small piece of all the other emotional issues I suffer from, but this one really kills. I got a referral to go see a urologist and hopefully i get approved to ask him if i have a micro penis or if there's anything i can do to increase my length, even if it's by a little. Although Im pretty sure that at 24 years old it's probably too late to do anything to fix any type of hormonal deficiencies (if any) anyway. What I'm basically asking is how bad is 4.7? Is that like "OMG" freakishly small or just plain old small? Or maybe even just about average (ok i think I'm pushing it there). I have a 4.5" girth if that makes a difference. Any HONEST opinions would be greatly appreciated.
  13. Hello everyone! How's the past week been treating u so far? Hope all is well with everyone suffering. I'm feeling pretty low today. Well everyday, but today I feel the pain a little more. Trying to get my mind off things, hopefully hearing some positive things from my fellow sps sufferers well make me feel better. As for me, I recently joined a gym and just passed my driving permit at 24 years old. Better late than never I suppose. Now to learn how to drive behind the wheel lol.
  14. Just curious to see how your current measurements compare to your "dream fantasy" measurements. I myself am 4.7 erect with a 4.5 girth. But when iam flaccid I'm barley 1 inch! If I could have it my way I would be 3 inches flaccid and 6.7 erect. To gain exactly 2 inches bigger than iam now, both flaccid and erect would be freaken awesome! Btw, what do you guys think about my current measurement of 4.7? Is that like "OMG" freakishly small or just plain old small? Some feed back would be interesting. Thanks guys!
  15. emed27

    This Morning - SPS videos

    @YOTH . I've actually seen this on youtube before and found it quite interesting. Especially when one of the guys who has a 3 inch penis said that no one has ever commented or said anything negative about it. I wonder if that's really true. Anyway, I wish I knew how to upload a video hear. There's actually a video on YouTube titled "Asian guys= Small penis?" By a well known comedian named Timothy DeLaGhetto who basically admits to having a small penis but doesn't think it's that bad of an issue. It's actually kind of funny lol. I've always wanted to post the video here but never knew how. You guys should check it out !
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