Today I was outside doing yardwork. I've lived at this location for 2 years and never met my neighbors. One of my neighbors saw me outside and ambled over to introduce himself; retired, middle-class, mid-60's I would guess. We shake hands, small talk....blah blah bullshit bullshit....until he finally gets around to asking what he wants to know, "Yeah I used to see you coming and going every day but then the last couple months I thought maybe you went to nights or something." Explain I'm between jobs. Ok. Of course it turns out that this fellow is connected by blood with the management at a client** I used to work with 6 years ago at a previous job, asks for my resume. Ostensibly to help. Then he has to tell me about his successful son, son-in-law, grandsons, etc. I don't know why these old retired bastards feel the need to do this. Bear in mind that my horrid work history is directly related to all the shit I post about on here...confidence, small dick, masculine identity.
So we're standing next to the road, and another guy stops beside us in his vehicle. He's another local man who knows the neighbor. Probably early-70's, blue-collar, owns a local blue-collar business. So the three of us stand there and shoot the shit for a while (mainly they talk and I just stand there with a rake in my hand like a fucking moron because that's how these interactions go with me). Well the old guy who stopped gets ready to leave, but as he's leaving he tells a similar version of this joke:
A young couple left their wedding reception, arriving at the hotel for the first night of their honeymoon.
They cracked the champagne and began undressing.
When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife said, "Your toes look all mangled and funny." " I had tolio as a child," the husband replied.
"You mean polio? " she asked. "No, the disease only affected my toes." The bride was satisfied with this, and they continued undressing.
When the groom took off his pants, his bride exclaimed, "What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!" "As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.
"You mean measles?" she asked. " No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."
The new bride was satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued,her husband removed his undies.
"Let me guess, " the wife said. "Smallcox?"
Now let me make this clear for anyone who can't read - I have never met or clapped eyes on these men before today. This is the obligatory dirty joke male bonding thing. It could've been one about fat women, whores, etc. But it had to be this one. No I am not saying that I think the guy knew I had a small cock. I'm simply stating another fact in support of what I've argued here for years. Sure it's funny, but what do you do when your entire life is fucked up because you are literally the punchline of this joke?
I don't really give a fuck if anyone believes this or not. I won't delete this because it illustrates perfectly the vicious circle I have tried to describe between male dominated work environments, confidence, marriage, success at a career, and cock size and how it's all interconnected and one vicious circle. Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't know. I live in oil country and this is the petrochemical industry I'm talking about. But I think the "it's just culture" argument is horseshit. How can I relate so well to this scene written by an Italian from Queens if it's cultural?
** This guy is related to an individual I was forced to go golfing with at the local country club one time. During this golf trip, I was teamed up with this individual and two others, all middle-upper managers at a large manufacturing firm. I don't remember the full context of the conversation now, but I distinctly and clearly remember two of them at one point discussing some guy who worked at the country club and one described him in these exact words, "oh yeah the stud with the little pecker". I took that to mean he had a ripped physique to compensate for a small dick. I chugged bourbon and pretended I didn't hear it, although I was mortified. That was right around the time I joined this forum.
Of course, I'll be told that I'm taking it all too seriously, that none of this matters as long as a woman wasn't saying it. Which doesn't make one iota of fucking sense to me whatsoever. And yes, I know these feminist harpies can be vicious as hell. But they are one half of the same coin. If you are weak male with no confidence, on social skills, no ability to get laid you will never succeed at any type of meaningful career. No matter how smart you are. You will never make the "bro" connections that are essential for getting ahead.
Anyway, people are free to dissect it any way they want or laugh and belittle it. I don't give a fuck. But I won't delete it. It never fucking ends.