I feel your pain, believe me! as i am getting older, and more disabled physically and mentally i begin to realize that all my life this has been a driving force pushing me away from not only sex but causing me to hide and reject intimacy from men and women and creating a depression and isolation that is difficult to even explain. I am diagnosed with severe depression ptsd, and still to this day cant even talk to my shrinks about this for sheer embarrassment. I guess i am lucky in one way, i never really had an envy issue, more of an admiration of other men and perhaps an unhealty obsession with the male body i would never have... Im sorry if this isnt helpful, it is just reality for me... For me though, i wish i had had the bravery to follow through with some of the oppourtunities i was too afraid of... My fears cost me dearly, intimacy, family due to mental issues, severe bipolar depression etc, ptsd etc... I wish you well... but by no means is their a magical fix for you or society's obsessions with perfection.