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LostBoy

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LostBoy last won the day on May 22

LostBoy had the most liked content!

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About LostBoy

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    Male
  • Location
    USA
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    Life sucks, then you die.

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  1. Hi @Lodz! long time no see! I hope you have been doing well and based on your post it sounds like you're coping better than in the past. My responses to this thread were definitely not my finest moments and I do suppose that there are people who get "amped" off of these "hand grenade" style comments so I should probably have just kept my mouth shut. It was a rough time for me and I think this guy's "I cured cancer" mentality was just off-puting enough to get a rise out of me and put me on my soapbox. I'm better now 😁. Anyway, glad to see you on here again, hopefully not because things have gotten worse but because you miss us! 💛
  2. LostBoy

    Job fears

    Well I've been quiet for a little while now. It's been a busy few weeks. My job has yet to change but I anticipate it will happen in the next month. I'm trying to prepare myself both physically and mentally for this change but I found myself going through old photos today and I've been on the verge of tears all day. It probably doesn't help that I started drinking early today but I needed something to kill the pain. Anyway, I just wanted to check in and give a brief update. Stay well.
  3. In an earlier post I referenced having a small penis as a handicap and was taken out of context in what I meant but I do agree that a small penis is a physical handicap. The definition of a handicap is "a condition that markedly restricts a person's ability to function physically, mentally, or socially". My small penis restricts what I can do. It restricts my ability to provide my wife pleasure through penetration, it restricts the positions in which I can successfully have sex, it restricts my ability to easily sit and pee in the toilet, and it restricts me mentally.
  4. LostBoy

    You just can't avoid it. It never stops.

    I am very sensitive to hearing about small penis' in a movie or TV show. It seems to be never ending and I hear comments all time that drive me crazy.
  5. When i was single I met a guy and we started meeting up in person at his place. He was much larger than me and i did admire his size. He didn't seem to mind my small size either. To this day, i feel like there was some form of admiration or submission aspect due to his large penis.
  6. LostBoy

    Losing your first erection

    If you've been married a long time then you most likely know your wife much better than I do. It doesn't sound malicious, the way you told the story, but it's difficult to make a judgement call on here.
  7. LostBoy

    Job fears

    Hello Klingsor, have you always felt this way? I would assume not, because I don't know how you would have been able to go to college, and actually graduate. I understand what you're saying and can only imagine how difficult that burden is on you. I have some of the same feelings as you have expressed but I am fortunate enough to be capable of suppression and control most of the time.
  8. LostBoy

    Job fears

    I agree with Victim, The longer you wait the harder it becomes to try something new. It sounds like you are well educated and apparently have some marketable skills. I'm not sure of your family status but based on pasts posts I assume you are single so if that is the case then at least you don't have to worry about the impact of your choice on your family. If you are early in your career then this is the time to do it becasue it definitely gets more difficult with time. It's a ridiculous cliche but I'm going to use it anyway...The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. I also realized that you have already indicated that you're not a risk taker but if you search and find something new before quitting your current job then the only real risk is the unknown associated with a new position. If you are brave enough then jump first and find something later (I'm personally not this brave).
  9. LostBoy

    Job fears

    Hello @Klingsor_the_Capon I appreciate your thoughts and comments here and I truly hope things improve for you. I hate to hear that it's gotten bad enough that suicide is being considered. I think your posts have likely helped a large number of people on here so please keep that in mind. We all have a purpose and the potential to add value. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I read the article and agree with almost all of it. First we have to define what successful looks like and it's likely different based on your economic upbringing and current status. Many people who grew up or currently are lower middle class or under would likely call me successful but I'm fairly sure Bill Gates wouldn't. For someone living out of a box, the lower middle class is successful. For now I consider myself to be okay but not truly successful. I've often thought about this and have came up with basically the same conclusions as in the article. 1) To be highly successful requires some luck. Being smart can get you a long way but luck is required to reach the destination. 2) It is very difficult to be successful without taking some risks and to be truly successful you have to be willing to take so high stakes risks. 3) You have to be willing to fail. Success requires trying something new and when you do this you are bound to fail. If you are afraid to fail and choose to play it safe in life you will likely not reach your definition of success. 4) You have to be willing to put in the effort. Most highly successful people live and breath what made them successful. They are not couch potatoes but instead put in countless hours (above and beyond normal job requirements)to reach that level. I personally believe I have been somewhat lucky up until now and between this and the hard work I've put in these are the only reasons I'm where I'm even at. I don't like taking risks and I absolutely hate to fail. These two reasons are why I will never be truly successful by my definition.
  10. LostBoy

    Job fears

    Well I mentioned it in another post but I thought this would be the right place to vent and get things off my chest. I am currently working on a project that would result in the reorganization of my team. As part of the reorganization design I eliminated my current role because it would be better to be combined with another role at a higher level. By doing this I basically designed myself out of a job and put myself in a position where I will now have to interview for another opportunity. What sucks about this is I really don't have any desire to relocate. I have been in Texas for over 10 years and I enjoy it quite a bit. The people are nice, the weather is fantastic (in my opinion), my hobbies are readily available, I love the local food, the wildlife here is really cool and somewhat unique, I like my house, and the cost of living is good. If I get the job I will be interviewing for I will have to relocate to a city in the north. While I have nothing against anyone from the north, I have lived in the south all of my life and I really have no desire to move north. I hate the weather (except for the couple of months in the summer where it is tolerable), I'm not a big fan of the food, while there are nice people there seems to be a lot more rude people than in the south, I do not like the style of houses and housing prices are absolutely ridiculous, and the cost of living is much higher. The other thing that sucks about this is that I will have to interview again and there are no guarantees that I will even get the job so I have no idea where that would leave me. I have been working for my company almost my entire career (20+ years) and this will be the second time that I have basically eliminated my own job. The first time is what brought me to Texas. The big difference between then and now is that my company is currently on a "diversity" kick and they define diversity as females, African-Americans, and Latin-Americans. They have even changed there process for interviewing and hiring where they can hire based an an individuals potential, not on what they have actually accomplished. What this basically means is that even if I am the most qualified it is highly possible that I will still not get the job if a "diverse" candidate has any capability at all. Right now I have a high level of anxiety about this entire situation for many reasons. The fear of the unknown is killing me and I don't know how to get out of my own head. I have so many things I need to do in order to "prepare" for this next step, whatever it might be, and I feel like there is not enough hours in the day to do it. My current workload is extremely heavy due to a number of large projects that are all occurring at the same time, I end up working late (very late sometimes) almost every day so there is no time to start taking care of the personal preparations that I need to be making. I am basically feeling overwhelmed with all of it, both professionally and personally. I'm not sleeping well, my stomach stays in knots, and I'm constantly on edge. I just wanted to vent and get all of this off of my chest because it's eating me up inside and I don't want to freak my wife and kids out with all of this weight because they have enough to deal with on their own because if we move then this is a huge change for them as well.
  11. LostBoy

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    Thanks @Victimorthecrime. I suppose so. I really do not want to change companies because I do enjoy the company I work for and the people in it, overall, are good people. I've heard so many nightmares about other companies. I'm also not keen on "starting over" with a new company. That means that I would have to start over with the connections, politics, networking, systems, and processes. I've been with my current company for most of my career so I'm afraid that I'm too old of a dog to learn new tricks. Right now I'm venting a little but in the end nothing has happened yet. The writing is on the wall but as of right this moment nothing has physically changed so I'm going to go through the steps of preparing for the worst but I'll just wait and see what happens.
  12. LostBoy

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    The bad thing about this is I think I'm one of the bastards. A company is simply made up of people who are all fighting and scraping to stay relevant enough not to lose the security that they have. This is true for me, for my boss who is a SVP, for his boss who is a president, and for the board of directors who he reports to. We're all just trying to exist and the higher you go the less likely you are to survive long term. Also, from what I see, the higher you go the more you hours per day you work. My boss seems to work about 15 hours a day from what I can tell.
  13. LostBoy

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    I guess my dream job would be growing pot and distilling liquor. I've "been there done that" with the white trash so it's off my bucket list now.
  14. LostBoy

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    It can be an "express train" for sure. I have been very fortunate in the fact that my company has done a great job of supporting hard working employees over the years but it's still a crap shoot at times. I've eliminated my job but they will not just put me in another one. I have to interview just like anyone else would for a new job. On top of that, they have been on a kick here lately to "hire for potential" in order to increase diversity so even if I am the most qualified for the job I may not get it due to the diversity agenda that is currently taking place.
  15. LostBoy

    Planning. I'm not good at it.

    Hi @Victimorthecrime, well I guess I shouldn't have made that comment about stress because I'm now sitting at home stressed out about work and life in general. Without going into a lot of details, I basically reorganized myself out of a job this week. I then presented it to senior management, and they liked what they saw. So what does this mean? It basically means I am now looking for a new position in my company because mine will likely not exist in a few months. For anyone out there that thinks being in middle management is a cushy job, you could not be more wrong. It is always high stress and you are expected to make decisions, for the shareholders, that could impact you personally. I normally enjoy the chaos and high activity very much but when I'm personally impacted it really gets to me. This is the second time, in my career, that I have eliminated my job by design. Fortunately for me, my company will go to great efforts to promote me and relocate me when this happens. The opportunity that I will likely have will be located in the north so I have already started researching communities to live in and looking at houses. While I do not have anything personally against the north, I do not like cold weather or grey skies so this will be a major life change for me after living on the gulf coast for 10 years and in the south for my entire life. So, what am I doing this weekend? House hunting, community hunting, looking at commute times and traffic flows, comparing cost of living, and beginning to clean up and purge junk from my house in an effort to minimize the work that has to take place later. Next week I will be updating my resume, cleaning up personal stuff in my office, designing a transition and reorganization plan and continuing to take care of personal things at home in order to prepare. Once I get the "green light" I will be commuting between here and my new location for several months as I prepare to buy/sell houses and transition into the new role. This is also stressful, based on my past experiences, because there just doesn't feel like there is enough hours in the day due to the heavy work load both personally and professionally. c'est la vie
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