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lostboy1 last won the day on December 11

lostboy1 had the most liked content!


About lostboy1

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    To Live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

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  1. Brokenness

    I'm not sure what had me looking this up but after this post started I decided see if there was anything on locker room "cock checks". I found this article and while there are parts of it I'm not so sure are accurate, there are some legitimate points as well. It basically says all guys look in the locker room and it is for the purpose of "gauging" of where you rank. It also says some stuff about the societal norms of big dicks and small dicks based on team dynamics. This part I'm not so sure about but hey, it's on the internet so it must be true. https://www.outsports.com/2014/3/17/5515302/penis-size-matters-locker-room-gay-straight-study
  2. Brokenness

    Well, I played football and basketball in high school so I was in the locker rooms a lot. Back then there was no such thing as private stalls in showers, at least not at my school. Ours would remind you of an old prison shower where the shower heads are along the wall in a big open room with drains. No privacy whatsoever and you were basically standing side by side with a guy on each side of you. I played basketball and football all four years of high school and the only time that I showered in the locker rooms was summer football camp my first year. I had never been to the place before (it was a new school for me) so I didn't know what the "shower scene" would look like. I assumed there would be private stalls I guess but once I realized that I was way wrong, it was too late to stop without drawing major attention. I wore the towel all the way to the corner where I stood and showered in about 15 seconds. That was the first and last time I showered there and I was very fortunate no one saw me because they made fun of cocks, much bigger than mine, for being small. The rest of the time I would just go home to take one. I'm glad athletics and practice was always at the end of the day. I don't know what I would have done if I had worked out or practiced in first period.
  3. Brokenness

    I completely agree with you but this was kids and kids don't use logic. They just use what they see and ridicule what is different. Hell, even one of the guys I went to school with still has his nickname, to this day, and high school was many years ago. Fortunately for him, he was one of the well endowed so his nickname isn't bad in my mind.
  4. Brokenness

    Sorry for your experience. I'm old (or feel old) and fat (or fat to me) plus i have a small penis and I never get the attention from women. It does suck to feel invisible. I have have similar fears and concerns at the gym which is why I never get nude there. I would rather drive home in sweaty underwear than change in front of others. I think this fear stems back to school when many people were made fun of for many different reasons in the locker room. I remember guys getting picked on for penis size, body weight, lack of body hair, body acne, big nipples, etc... The penis comments always bothered me the most ( as you can imagine) and I would never shower at school for this reason. Guys got nicknames like "stumpy" and "pencil dick" while others who were well endowed ended up with nicknames like "hog" and "muley". The bad thing is that these nicknames extended beyond the locker room so eventually even the girls used them when talking to the guys. I don't know if you had similar locker room experiences or not but for me that's what drives my fear of them.
  5. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    @InLuvWspsMAN - I do wish you the best in your endeavor with your guy. We have all offered a lot of advice in this thread (and a lot of it appears to be contradictory) but I truly hope that some of it can be useful. At the end of the day, you know him much much better than we do so hopefully you have an idea what might work. Just use good sense with your approach, especially if you really like him and want this relationship to go the distance. We will be here to listen and offer additional opinions if needed but hopefully this will work out well for you two. @johnlucas - Out of curiosity, I decided to read every post that you have written since being on this forum and I must say that I am now exhausted , not because of the number of posts but because of the content in each one. There is no doubt that you are seldom at a loss for words. I appreciate your upbeat attitude and positive outlook on life and, while I don't agree with many of your opinions, I do have to say that I admire your passion.
  6. Diet/Gym/Health/Sanity

    I used it a long time ago to. If you are working out it works well or it did for me at least. Probably better than anything else I tried.
  7. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    Okay, I decided to read the rest of your post. I'll summarize your marketing comments since I'm a business major with an MBA and do have some expertise here. The same marketing strategy does not work on everyone (if it did there would be only one marketing strategy in the world). The goal is to get the attention of the majority of your target market. Most of the time this is done with a somewhat "vanilla" approach that has specific characteristics designed to attract those from your target market. It will not attract 100% of your target market and in most cases it attracts only a minority, which may still be okay from a sales perspective. I have been in a very short term relationship with a dominant woman in the past and I ended it quickly. Frankly, she scared me with her aggressive style. Did we have sex? Yes, because she "trapped" me as you suggest. Did I see a relationship with this woman? Hell no. As a matter of fact I ended it as quickly as possible after the "attack". I have been married for many years now and I would love for my wife to be dominant, as you suggest, but this is only because we have built the loving relationship and trust and I feel comfortable with her. If she had done this when we first started dating then I'm not confident that we would be together. There is nothing foolproof, if it were then everything in life would be certain and as we all know "death and taxes" are the only certainties. If all @InLuvWspsMAN is wanting is sex, then your approach has some validity and may work. If she is wanting a relationship then your approach could be successful or it could destroy any chance she has at building a relationship based on love. Unless your "theory" has been proven a million times with a 100% success rate then it is just a "theory" and not a "fact". I would even likely agree with you if this has been proven 1,000 times or even 100 times with 100% success. If you have some scientific evidence that your theory is a fact then please share it because I would be very interested in that research. Otherwise I would recommend easing up on the "I guarantee" statements and go with a "this might work" approach. After all, you have nothing to lose in this endeavor so there's no "skin off your back" if the relationship is destroyed. It's very easy to have confidence in an unproven recommendation when you have no stakes at the table.
  8. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    Hello @johnlucas, I will read your full reply later, unfortunately I don't have time at this moment. Your approach would not work for me in a new relationship. I am very confident of that. You seem to paint everyone with SPS with a broad brush and as I indicated before, if it was that simple we wouldn't be on this forum. By the length of your posts and your use of bold font I also assume you are highly extroverted. I am highly introverted and your approach would send me running in a new relationship so what might work for you would likely not work for me. You also mentioned, in a previous post that your approach is a "theory" which to me means unproven. I think this is important for @InLuvWspsMAN to understand because the rest of your posts makes it sound like your approach is a hard fact. I am not saying your approach will not work, I'm just saying that it won't work on everyone. There is no single answer for everyone. Maybe it will work 1% of the time or maybe even 40% but it's going to be a hard "pass/fail" due to the aggressiveness. Out of curiosity, what are your credentials? It doesn't sound like you have SPS but you seem very interested. Are you a Phd Psychologists or Psychiatrist? Therapist? How many people have you treated who have SPS and confirmed long term success out of this approach? I'm not challenging you, just curious what level of expertise you have in this subject.
  9. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    @johnlucas, I think she needs to be extremely careful with your approach. First off, I think that you referred to men with SPS as "These guys" about 100 different times in your posts. We are not all built the same nor do we have exactly the same problems or solutions. If we did this forum would likely not exists. In addition, your aggressive approach could work or it could send him running never to return. A guy with a damaged ego is like a deer in the woods, it takes very little to spook them. I think @InLuvWspsMAN really needs to consider the risks before taking your approach. Like @YOTH, I do not think this would work for me. Once I get to know a woman extremely well I don't mind dominance from her but to do this as a way of breaking the barrier of SPS would never work for me. Again, my main point is while men with SPS are dealing with a common issue we are not all wired the same. There is no "one size fits all" answer. I still go back to "slow and steady at his pace" as the safest action. Yes, it may take longer to get there but if she's wanting a relationship then time isn't an issue. The "attack" style may work on some percentage of men with SPS but it will be an "all or nothing" approach. It will have immediate success or the guy will run and never return. I think the question for @InLuvWspsMAN is whether or not she wants to risk losing this guy on an "all or nothing" approach.
  10. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    Every guy is likely different on this topic but if he brings it up then I would recommend just listening to begin with. Let him tell you his insecurities and any past experiences that may have hurt him or made him feel worse. Done tell him it's really not an issue or that it's all in his head. Just let him know that you're really into him, the full package, and there's nothing about him or his body that you don't like. I also think it could be worthwhile letting him know that you've only had a couple of orgasms in your life. This way he won't be hurt if he can't get you there. Although, I'm not sure I would tell him about the number of partners because this might trigger him as well, especially if he is inexperienced. These are just some thoughts and every guy and situation is different so you will likely have to adapt. The key is just don't be dismissive of his pain.
  11. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    I completely agree with you on this because, as a guy with a small penis, I have always spent extra effort in trying to satisfy my partners. Unfortunately when I was really young I didn't have any idea what I was doing so there probably was a very low level of success for me but now that I am older and have been married for a long time I know what it takes to please my wife and I can proudly say that her needs are always met. I will get a little graphic here but I think the problem lies with the fact that those of us who are small feel that by being larger we could be better lovers (more positions, fuller feeling for the female reaching more nerve endings, capable of hitting the g-spot, etc...). My wife and I use toys so between them and oral pleasures my wife is able to reach an orgasm multiple times before there is even penetration on my part and I feel really good that I've learned where the right "buttons" are on her body but when the toys are bigger than I am and that is what she enjoys it can also have the negative effect of reinforcing my insecurities. My wife and I never have sex now without toys being involved so I sometimes question why I am even needed in the process. This SPS stuff can be quite a mind game on us guys. I think you have to decide for yourself whether this guy is worth the effort. If so, I think you will just have to give him time and focus on the non-sexual relationship. If the relationship continues to blossom and there is the potential for love then he will likely slowly let down his guard or open up to you by discussing his insecurities. I personally still think it is best to let him bring the topic up at his speed because even though I have always had SPS I didn't even really realize it until much more recently. If you bring the topic up and this is his issue then you may just be reinforcing his insecurities because he will realize that you noticed he is small. Like I said, it's a real mind game. The one thing I would recommend, if and when he does decide to talk about it, is to not dismiss it. My wife did that to me many years ago. I basically told her that I felt inadequate and her simple response was "don't be silly". I have not spoken to her about it in many years so the one person who I can't talk to the one person in my life who I should be able to open up to so I come to this forum for those reasons. It doesn't matter if it's a real issue to you or not. It's definitely real for any guy that has SPS so dismissing it as a "non issue" can make the guy feel worse. Listen, empathize, be supportive and willing to help but don't be pushy or forceful on the topic or else you will likely send him running or he will shutdown completely even if he doesn't run. That's my 2 cents. I really wish the best for you. It sounds like you're a very caring lady who does not let imperfections detract from the greater picture and that seems rare these days for both sexes.
  12. Job fears

    Hi @Victimorthecrime, I've been through many corporate changes in my career. I have been in businesses the were being divested, I was in a plant that was shut down, my business has been acquired, we have added headcount and laid off people as well. It all sucks because as humans none of us really like change. Unfortunately, change is inevitable whether you are working for a corporation, work for a small business, or you own your own business. You will eventually either change or you will die. I have been fortunate enough to not only survive through all of these changes but to thrive during most of them so I will offer my opinion on the topic and maybe there will be something that you can take away from it that will be helpful. I have found that the best way to survive major changes is to embrace them, support them, and be a change agent for those who are implementing them. It is easy for us to become jaded and just say "to hell with it". I have seen many good people lose their jobs due to an unwillingness to embrace the changes. While I have not always agreed to the changes taking place, I went into them with an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt to whatever was needed of me during the transformation. While some people may consider this "rolling over" I see it as making myself an asset to the corporation and not a liability. Most companies, especially during major changes, do not like liabilities. Another thing to consider is that a corporation is not a single person or an entity in and of itself. A corporation is made up of people, just like us, from the top to the bottom. There are humans all along the chain and they are imperfect creatures who are all just doing their best to succeed in whatever they are doing. If something bad does happen, ensure that you are marketable, have an updated resume, make sure you have skills that can be utilized outside of your current organization, and work to continuously improve yourself. In the end I always fall back to this quote: "God give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I know, it's a little ironic considering I suffer from SPS and I cannot follow this quote related to that issue. Anyway, I do wish the best for you in your situation. I personally know how stressful it can be and how painful it is to have to deal with the "unknown" for extended periods of time. If I can offer any assistance please let me know.

    okay, this may be a stupid question but was is MGTOW/TFL about? If you could define the acronyms and then give a brief overview of each it would be appreciated. I suppose I could also look them up but asking seemed easier and it keeps the conversation going.
  14. How is everyone doing?

    Hi @Smallbeans, I was in South Dakota a couple of weeks ago and this last week I was in the hill country of Texas. Both trips were "work" related but they were more about team building and treating customers to various outings. It was almost like a vacation but without the family and with people in which I work. Lot's of outdoor activities and I love being out in nature. On a not so "high" of a note, I did have a triggering type moment when I was in the hill country. Our host has a son who wrestles in 6th grade so we all went to watch a wrestling match at this little high school in rural Texas. It had boys from 6th grade through 12th wrestling and I have never seen a high school wrestling match before so I was shocked that they wore these super tight spandex shorts and apparently they do not wear cups in wrestling. I want to say, for the record, that I am not sexually attracted to children but I could not help but noticing that you could see their penis' plain as day in those clothes. It was almost vulgar to be honest how much detail could be seen (I could never wear anything like that in public). Anyway, seeing that every one of those boys was bigger than me (6th graders included) and some appeared to be much bigger really made me feel bad. Fortunately it was a short lived event but apparently I am still not over it because here I am discussing it.
  15. Hello...I am in love with a man that has SPS

    Well this will be a difficult topic if he has not "came out" about his penis size insecurities to you. It's possible that SPS might not even be his issue and if you mention it then he's going to be worried about having a small penis, and you thinking it's small, whether it's small or not. Somehow you need to get him to tell you the issue not the other way around, otherwise it could be a major ego blow if you basically tell him he is small.