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lostboy1

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lostboy1 last won the day on October 13

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About lostboy1

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  • Birthday November 13

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    Texas
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  1. Embarrased in Front of My Wife

    I'm speechless regarding a response to the ad. It hurts to even read it because whether it's true or not it feels "real". My wife's text discussion, with her friend, further strengthens this belief because even though she didn't come out and say that she prefers a larger cock, the unspoken words came through loud and clear Circling back around to my original post, I think all of our discussions explain why I feel ashamed for my wife to see me nude and flaccid. I definitely do not feel like a "man" and even though I consider myself masculine in my hobbies (hunting, fishing, football, billiards, etc...), I do not feel masculine in my body. All male animals have some aspect that identifies them as "alphas", deer have antler size, peacocks have the size of tail feathers, and there are many other examples. I've often wondered if cock size was this aspect for humans. Since we cover our genitals it's not as clear cut but if we were all naked it makes me wonder if I would have ever had sex.
  2. Embarrased in Front of My Wife

    Honestly, that wasn't even what I was looking for when I was reading her texts. I just happened upon it. They were talking about ex's, in general, and my wife said that she looked her ex up on Facebook and he was still extremely hot. She then went on to talk about his size and how it made her sore to begin with until she got use to it. Then there was some bragging about his expertise in oral pleasure. Needless to say, I felt absolutely miserable after reading that discussion. I think that drove me to one of the lowest points in my life. That occurred about 2 years ago and it still hurts me to think about it. I never did mention it to her and likely never will. I am very glad though that I haven't seen where she has told others about my size. I'm not saying it hasn't happened but that conversation would have been much worse to me if she had told her friend about my size as a comparison.
  3. Newbie

    Hi @Lodz , I'm with you. I definitely fantasize about her being with bigger guys when I masturbate and even sometimes during sex. It is erotic and I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm thinking that she could be really satisfied with a bigger guy and her satisfaction makes me happy? I don't know what it is but it definitely occurs.
  4. Embarrased in Front of My Wife

    In honesty, I found my wife bragging about her ex's size to a friend via text after we were married. She may have said it was "too big" to me but the text message led me to believe otherwise. In the end, you just have to try and find ways to overcome it. Lots of toys and time "down there" helps. It may not be a perfect substitute but it helps for sure.
  5. Newbie

    Hi Onenut! and welcome to the forum. As I mentioned in response to your other post, I am somewhat similar to you in this regard. My wife's ex fiance was huge and since she and I were friends before we started dating each other I got to hear a lot about their sex life and his package. In the end she married me. I have learned to be creative to ensure that she is being satisfied (toys, lots of oral, etc...) and this has seemed to work for us. My wife has an orgasm every time we make love and it's typically before I even penetrate her with my little guy. It's not ideal but I've learned to work with what I have.
  6. Embarrased in Front of My Wife

    Hi @onenut This is similar to me as well. My wife was engaged to a guy before me and they were together for a long time and he is hung like a mule. I can't help but to think that my wife has made comparisons. She told me that he was "too big" but that didn't really make me feel any better.
  7. Embarrased in Front of My Wife

    @Powerhouse8000 1) I really wanted to be nude since we had the house to ourselves for an entire week but I felt too "exposed" in front of my wife, flaccid, so I attempted to get the best of both worlds. I didn't wear any pants/shorts/undies so I was "exposed" from that sense but the long t-shirt covered up a full frontal look at me as I walked around the house. The shirt just barely hung below my penis so it was perfect. 2) My wife thought that I had lost my mind but I do weird things all the time so it wasn't too much of a surprise because I had already told her, half jokingly, that it was going to be "nude week" at our house. 3) I think women are different than men in that regard. It's nothing for my wife to wear a long t-shirt through the house with only panties or maybe nothing.
  8. The Bathmate Diaries

    This is a really interesting topic. Does anyone know what medically happens that causes the growth? Does it just inflame/swell blood vessels and if so could it potentially cause long term negative consequences? I love the thought of something making me bigger but I do have concerns of long term issues.
  9. Embarrased in Front of My Wife

    @Lodz It's definitely one of the curses of the small package. Even though it's likely not true, I feel like I will be judged if anyone sees me (including my wife). I've only done public nudity once (and it wasn't really that public although several ladies were there and very close) and I felt like my heart was going to explode due to the anxiety. As long as I can remain anonymous I don't mind someone seeing "my goods" because I like to see their response (good or bad) but the thought of someone seeing me who knows me, personally, bothers me.
  10. Are You Able to Laugh At Yourself?

    @Lodz I completely understand. It's so strange to go from one end of the spectrum to the other. The best thing that I can come up with is to try and focus on better thoughts and try not to let the negative ones take over. This is much easier said than done for me. When I get down on my size I find myself spiraling into dark places and being almost obsessive about searching out sizes statistics or looking at pictures wondering what I did to deserve what I have (or don't have). I find myself being seriously envious of anyone with an "average" size package.
  11. Are You Able to Laugh At Yourself?

    I started this thread when I was feeling somewhat better about accepting my body for what it is and not worrying about my shortcomings in the area of penis size. I was willing to laugh (a little) at myself and even post on here about it but today I sit here and I'm down on myself about the same topic. It's strange how we go through cycles of ups and downs in life. I think this is very normal because most people have good and bad days but it's strange that something I laughed about less than a week ago now makes me feel depressed. I know that I can't do anything about my size and I know that I really am small (it's not just that I think I am small) so one would think that naturally you would get past this at some point in life. Most of my 20's I was very down on myself and my body and I did self destructive things during this entire time period to the point of my wife almost leaving me. I then went through a long period of no issues (my 30's) where I never even really thought about it. Now that I'm in my 40's I seem to find myself falling back into the same cycles as I did in my 20's. I guess this was a long winded way of saying we have good days and bad days and that we should focus on the good and try to steer clear of the things that drive us down.
  12. The surgeries I've seen turn your penis into ground meat or they cause ED if not more serious problems. There is no surgery on the market, today, that will correct a small penis safely. I've often wondered why this is the case since they seem to be able to fix everything else with plastic surgery but for whatever reason it is not currently possible with a penis. I oppose any surgery this risky with questionable benefits at best.
  13. Are You Able to Laugh At Yourself?

    I completely agree IrmaJean. I'm not able to do it often but every once in a while I'll see or hear something that strikes me as humorous and that reminds me of me or something I would do. I feel like as long as it's light hearted it's not bad to laugh at yourself a little. It just reminds me that I'm human and not designed perfectly (no one is).
  14. Hello All, This was originally the thread titled "Chode - I learned a new word today". It had quite a few views and no responses so it got me thinking. While it was intended to be light-hearted and something amusing in a world that has many serious topics, the more I thought about it the more I thought it might have offended some of the group and that was definitely not my intent. I was in a good mood yesterday so I chose to step out and make fun of myself and become very vulnerable to everyone by admitting my shortcomings (versus the norm of beating myself down and hiding). I was hoping others would see the humor and follow suit but since no one commented it got me thinking. Are we ever allowed to laugh at ourselves or make fun of ourselves? There are a lot of people who do this for various perceived faults (I'm also a redneck and it seems to be okay to make fun of myself for that). I was just curious if any else feels free enough to laugh at yourself (lighted-heartedly and not mockingly)?
  15. The Bathmate Diaries

    Congratulations! Whether it is placebo affect or something else if it works, it works. And this is after a short period of time. BTW, the Hercules was replaced by the X50, apparently, so you have the one that should be able to fit an elephant trunk in it!
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