Jump to content
Mental Support Community

lloydbaker

Members
  • Content count

    51
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    2

lloydbaker last won the day on July 10

lloydbaker had the most liked content!

About lloydbaker

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Interests
    Small Penis Syndrome
  • signature
    Lloyd Baker Jones

Recent Profile Visitors

82 profile views
  1. lloydbaker

    Mother Made Me Play with Bullies

    For most of my life I thought my mother's behavior was the root of my problems. Then I realized there was something wrong from toddlerhood. I showed none of the exuberance typical of toddlers. I developed a stammer and severe social anxiety. Finally, at 50 when I started supplementing testosterone, I improved 100%. Before that only alcohol made me half way normal. Possibly my hormones were screwed-up in the womb as my mother was an amphetamine abuser during pregnancy.
  2. I was painfully, pathologically shy growing-up, from toddler on. My mother was very disturbed by this and demanded I get over it even before kindergarten. Part of her program was to force me to play with bullies, often older kids. She would intervene if their bullying got too extreme so it didn't go "too far", but that just made me a "momma's boy" that couldn't defend himself. She thought I would learn by example, but, instead, the experience just ground me into the dirt and increased her fury. She would tell me what wonderful potential, mentally and physically, I had, but rage that I was betraying the family and myself by not taking advantage of my innate qualities! I think this was very psychologically damaging to me.
  3. Yeah, maybe you should try to get T supplements while still young. Used moderately, the risks are low.
  4. lloydbaker

    Adult Imaginary Friend

    And it is really a shame, too. I am gathering the meds are, in effect, almost 100% tranquilizers of various sorts. Some help people cope, but none get to the root of either the chemical or psychological problems.
  5. lloydbaker

    Adult Imaginary Friend

    I would tend to think the Psychic has done you a terrible disservice. Ben is a part of you and performs OR TRYS TO PERFORM a function that the rest of you cannot perform or has difficulty performing. In my opinion, you should think about and try doing for yourself some of the things Ben does or suggests, but in a more reasonable well thought-out manner. For instance, perhaps you don't standup for yourself as well as you should. Maybe you could start by speaking-up for yourself more. You can take Ben's advice, but insist that you take the intent of the advice with necessary alterations for safety and reasonableness. Feel free to accept Ben's help, but argue for more prudent actions. Insist that Ben be more patient. See what he says in response to your criticism. Ben is part of you, so you don't have to worry about losing him. He might merge better into you so he becomes a line of thought instead of being so dramatically "a person." We all have discussions with ourselves and parts of ourselves. I used to have a terrible internal critic, though I didn't think it was a person. Finally, I became aware I was repeating unfair criticisms from my mother and so, argued for more reasonable criticism. Having sex with him could be intense, but how could it be anything but masturbation? Unless I'm missing something, wouldn't Ben be a considerate lover? Why would the psychic suggest he wants to rape you? Seems like the psychic was planting fear in you. Disreputable thing to do. Ben, even if too emotional, is trying, I gather, to help. Ben, might be what the psychiatrist Jung called the animus. He might be your archetype of what a man should be. According to Jung women have a "male" animus and men have a female "anima" inside them. Power works both ways in sex / possession works both ways. For some reason, probably traumatic life difficulties, your animus perhaps has become more conscious than usual. Try talking to him like he is part of you. See if you can insist that he be more reasonable and stop getting you in trouble. Agree with and try to implement his valid criticisms, but insist he be more careful, considerate and reasonable. Argue stongly for yourself against Ben if he goes beyond trying to help you toward condemnation or suggesting you hurt yourself. Insist that he be your friend. You have a lot of power over him. You might try instructing Ben on how to help you when you start to have anxiety attacks. You might point-out to him that upping his criticisms during an anxiety provoking situation makes things worse. Ask him to help you handle situations instead of criticizing. Maybe he can help you remember what to do in difficult situations. If he can't help tell him he needs to be quiet! It is unfair and an over-reaction if Ben said you were raped because you were a slut. Perhaps you should be more careful in judging people before being alone with them, but that is just an estimate. Clever, cunning criminals might fool anyone.
  6. lloydbaker

    Job fears

    Yeah, Klingsor! You said a mouthful there. Getting more basic, it's about testosterone and testosterone receptors!
  7. This might seem to be an odd approach, but I would suggest considering all thoughts "just theories" about the world. That puts them in their place. You might then assign a likely probability to each thought. BTW: Many psychotherapists do manipulate patients to maximize fees instead of help. Not a far out theory at all in itself. However, you need to have some specific evidence before you act on it as a high probability theory.
  8. Your are definitely above average. However, with no sign of schizophrenia, there are many men who feel their penis is small when it isn't. Men project what they feel as lack of masculinity on their penis. The penis is a symbol of masculinity. Perhaps you need to practice small assertive steps in improving your own life. "Big Societal Issues" can be a substitute for actually attending to your own life. However, the alleged chemical / organic nature of schizophrenia makes one more susceptible to all manner of irrational / unproductive thinking and obsessing. Do you take any medicine to minimize these symptoms?
  9. lloydbaker

    Aliens

    My wife see "entities" everywhere, especially in clouds, woods and bushes. Any complicated detailed scene or surface reveals these entities to her. Sometimes, I can see them too if I make an effort, especially in clouds, after she points-out the "eyes". She must be projecting mental images based on shape suggestions in her visual field. She is very adamant at times that these things are real and the rest of us are just afraid to acknowledge them. Sometimes, she is afraid they will murder or abduct her. I try to tell her that the universality of what she sees, even if real, means they are just part of reality and not a threat. This doesn't seem to help. Nor does trying to explain projection. For some reason she doesn't think these things are "space aliens", but doesn't know what they are. She says they are very busy doing things. Anyone have ideas?
  10. There is a lot of anti-testosterone propaganda. Governments and Insurance companies don't want to pay for it. How can bio-identical T supplementation well within normal limits cause serious damage? Total T levels vary from 200 to 900 which indicates how different men are in masculinity. How likely is raising from say 175 to 350 to be damaging? One of their tricks is to focus on body builder abusers who use weird steroids that should never be in the body or T at ridiculous levels. A few years ago, American FDA defined bio-identical T as a narcotic! You can spend you life in jail if caught with it without a prescription. Absurd!
  11. Yeah, you will notice I said nothing about using T supplements for a larger penis or to accelerate puberty. Bio-identical T supplement was not available and they would have used an extract from horse piss or something if Dr.had opted for supplementation. My parents took me to a Dr. because I wasn't maturing. He blamed it on lack of exercise. He was a moron, like many doctors. Is bone fusal, premature ending of bone growth? Hardening of the growing ends? T supplements need to be during puberty to effect penis growth as far as I know. I never tried T supp. until I was 50 years old. It immediately cured my social anxiety and grew hair where I didn't have any prior like on my back. No change to my genitals. If I had still been young, I might have become more sexually active with no need for alcohol. I became much more assertive. My puberty was very strange. My voice never cracked. My puberty started very late after I turned 15 and lasted until I was about 25 when I finally grew chest hair.
  12. That's interesting. I had a few people whispering such stuff about me too because I had a slow late puberty, small penis, and didn't date until my last year in college. My puberty didn't end until I was about 25. I looked quite boyish for many years later than I should have. You must be fairly involved with a social group to have rumors circulate about you. I was such a hermit that only my mother and sister wondered. Looking into hormone supplementation treatment couldn't hurt. Be prepared to have to shop for a Dr. however.
  13. Ultimately, I discovered that, in my case, hormonal insufficiency was the problem. I wasn't naturally assertive enough to overcome the relatively moderate size issues I had and other negatives such as slow late puberty. Some very small hung guys are not virgins, perhaps because they have high hormonal levels and are, naturally, very assertive. Unfortunately, it is difficult to get Drs. to prescribe testosterone for these reasons. Some will if your readings are low. Hormonal insufficiency can be related to the depression noted by some of the posters in this thread.
  14. I'm 4.5 and thick, so I've had only a taste of what it is like to be really small. Without excessive drinking, I probably wouldn't have ever had a date or sex. I can't really recommend that approach. If just a couple drinks helped, I'd recommend it, but it was a LOT and lead to severe life problems. There seems to be a catch 22. Seeing the situation exactly as it is, which helps with many psychological issues, is pretty discouraging, but denial is a non-starter for the really very small. I was large enough that denial with alcohol assist could be effective.
  15. Being 6'1" has always been comfortable for me and I would miss it. I feel certain my height had a positive effect in most of my relationships with people. With a 4.5 penis sex hasn't gone very well and certainly had no positive influence on my confidence with women. Choosing between the two makes no sense, though.
×