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rmp

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  1. rmp

    Hard Talk

    If my girlfriend breaks up with me tomorrow and says that the problem is "i need a bigger penis" I honestly won't judge (so long as she tells me this with respect ofc). I like what I like and women like what they like as long as it is said with respect I won't mind. Don't get me wrong, it will hurt as fuck if she says that to me some day. I love this girl with everything i have. Every last bit of hope. I don't have a big penis. I don't have an above average penis. I'm on the smaller side and there's little to nothing I can do especially because since I have that bend which probably happened due to over masturbation I am afraid that trying out stuff like jelqing and even those pumps will damage it even more to the point it will be unusable. Peyronie's disease is no easy thing to digest. I got lucky because my bent happened 14 months ago more or less and it seems stagnant for at least 1 year so if I had the disease it stopped developing which is a fucking miracle. I was losing my mind over it. I am paranoid as I said and very anxious... I think I am just stupid and weak if I am honest. I don't know man it may sound silly but I think you would be a great friend if I met you irl. You have similar ideas to my own. Every comment I read from you in here I completely agree with so far. Anyway thanks for "chatting" with me a little bit about this. I know I can be annoying sometimes due to the way I am. I am not healed but at least I know I am not alone... It's a selfish and very evil thought but I can't help it, it's the truth... I never said I was a good person... Maybe I deserve all the shit I got for being weak...
  2. Reading this hurts me because I am too in a LDR. She's from the same country as I am but I don't know how much time it will take for us to be together. I just finished High school (22) and I am currently jobless. I don't like to excuse myself but one of the reasons I took so long to finish high school was due to a major depression that took me 5 years to get through mixed with panic attacks similar to seizures during that period. Inertia and hopelessness won. I am weak. And the only subject I had to finish was Math. Everything else was done when I was 18. This hit me a lot. I am the same... I hope things turn out for the best but be careful...
  3. rmp

    Hard Talk

    I usually don't worry too much about my flaccid size. It's like I read in another topic "erect for the ladies, flaccid for my confidence". Couldn't be more truthful. It's worse when I exercise. For some reason it shrinks. Probably the blood flowing faster through my body makes it compensate and only "give" what's necessary to my penis, i don't know... (Writing this made me grin a little) Normally it's around 6-8cm. So NBP is measuring from the base of the penis without pressing? Okay... I think I understood it better now. I posted my girth aswell in my post where I vent about my SPS. Anyway it's 13.5cm-14cm (Measured in the middle of my penis only. Never measured anywhere else). Needless to say that this is while erect. Flaccid I don't even know. I don't really care too much to be honest nowadays. I used to when I was younger now I just hope it works and lasts and is enough...
  4. rmp

    Hard Talk

    I posted it on the other topic about measurements. I honestly don't know what's the difference. I am slim with a bit of muscle (Not much), I have one of those shitty ass bodies that can't get fat but it also isn't resistant at all and takes ages to get some muscle... I don't even know if there's a difference between BP or NBP for people like me because the way I see it it only makes sense for people that are over weight. That way you compensate for the weight that's covering it, right? Otherwise what's really the point of BP in a slim guy such as myself? It should be the same thing. I don't know. I don't have a fucking clue. It's a fucking mess to understand what's actual my true size and what's not so I usually put it in a range, to be more accurate. Skip to here if you don't want to read my weak ass complaining. I am stupid. Nevertheless and answering your question if I put the ruler against my... well where my penis is attached to the rest of my body then the measurement is between 14-15cm. The measurement that I registered 8 out of 10 times was, as average as it may sound, 14.5cm BP so I assume that's the size of my penis length BP. I do feel bad about myself for complain when there's people in a much worse situation but I can't help it. I even wonder if my measurements are correct. My dick looks so small and skinny compared to most porn guys, even amateurs that I honestly even doubt if my measurements are correct. Seriously, I am so fucking paranoid. Don't even know why I am like that. it's not like my penis will grow. I have 22 yo after all. Bottom line is What's the fucking difference between one and the other when I am slim and you can see my whole penis? To measure My NBP size I usually measure where my pubic hair stops as mentioned. I don't even know if that's how it is supposed to be. Sorry my language. I am feeling extremely anxious and I just talk like that. EDIT: In the other comment about measurements I didn't say what my stretched penis size was. Again I don't see what's the point but BP it's basically the same as erect but if I try and measure it from below (starting from my balls and until the end) then my penis is only like 12,5 cm stretched (while flaccid ofc) and 13cm erect give it or take again. I don't know man.
  5. rmp

    Hard Talk

    This is exactly what I think and exactly what I feel. I don't wish any of it to my worst enemy. To think that I will end up alone or I won't be able to satisfy my partner naturally. I am on the smaller side. I have 13 cm give it or take NBPEL. (I measure when my pubic hair stops) And it completely ruined my confidence and as it did to you it also made me suicidal and completely depressed towards my life. It's like losing a game without even having a chance. This wasn't the only matter that made me into the absolute shambles I am today but it sure weighted a lot... Add to that the fact that I can't last too long in bed no matter what I do and I have a bend in my penis which the doctors couldn't be precise to whether it is Peyronie's disease or not. Today the thoughts have returned and I even started researching about methods to do it. It's stupid because I know I won't have the fucking guts. I wish eutanasia was legal here...
  6. rmp

    Penis Size Measurments

    Here are my measurements... BPEL: 14cm - 14.5cm NBPEL: 12.7cm - 13.5cm GIRTH: 13.5cm - 14cm (These were measured in the middle part of my penis) [Note: To be more accurate (in case of bias or bad measurement) I displayed my size as the lowest I registered while fully erect and the highest. My measurements are most likely among those ranges.] I wish I could talk with some of you in real life. Penis size has been a real problem for me... I could have been something in life and I am nothing mainly because of it... It completely drains my will to fight and it did so many times...
  7. Thank you for reaching out. And yes I do try edging already but only while masturbating. I researched about it and I think I do it properly but you never know I suppose. Once again thank you.
  8. All edits were made due to grammatical or structural mistakes.
  9. Hello. First of all I would like to apologise to everyone because I know how annoying this topic can be to some people. I am not sure this will even be approved and posted since there are usually a lot of posts related to this matter and I won't be surprised if mine gets rejected. Nevertheless I need to vent about it. Penis size has been a big problem in my life. I hit puberty around the age of 13 and I started masturbating soon after which naturally coincided with the discovery of porn. Until my mid teens penis size wasn't really a problem so there's not really a lot to mention. I was a normal and happy kid. Fast forwarding until the age of 16. At 16 I had my first girlfriend. My insecurities started around that age and I believe that the main cause for that to happen was porn. I was a regular "consumer" of porn. By the age of 16 I believe I had already seen basically a bit of everything porn had to offer. I used to masturbate a lot during that period but I don't really think it reached the point of becoming an addiction. I believe It was just my uncontrollable hormones and my high sexual desire. Anyway... That girlfriend was the first person ever to whom I shared my insecurities with. For a 16 year old I think she handled the situation quite well at the time in all honesty. She didn't bully me. She didn't jump into conclusions. She probably thought things but was patient and supportive. She was also the first girl/woman that saw my penis fully erect. I remember that when she saw it she said that I wasn't small and if I was small she didn't want to know what big meant. I kind of believed in her despite knowing that there was no way for her to know for sure because she wasn't that experienced. Although she managed to calm my insecurities with it. Maybe she was bullshitting me. I am aware that's a possibility but back then it worked. It didn't "heal" my doubts and insecurities but it did make me feel less pressured about my member (with her). We eventually broke up and after that I've never been the same. I fell into a deep depression. I couldn't finish high school because of it and I didn't have any other partner until now (age 22). I had 5 years of very intense depression with panic attacks in between (which were the worst part because my panic attacks were similar to seizures and it used to mess with my blood pressure). I've been fighting slowly. Finished High School last year. Had my first job and met my current girlfriend. I am drifting away from the main topic. Don't worry. It starts now. I became obsessed with penis size. Paranoid. I kept watching porn and comparing my member over and over and over again. -It reached a point where I measured my member everyday multiple times a day. -I was ashamed of my size. -I was embarrassed of being naked in the locker room although I never hid myself. That's something I take a bit of pride in. -I don't pee near other men. For some reason I can never do it. I can never pee if I feel like I'm being watched. It's ridiculous. -I don't go to the gym because I am tired of comparing myself to others. I do it unconsciously and I am tired of it. Clearly I believe I developed a "small penis syndrome" but I don't think my insecurities are badly supported. The truth is I am indeed small so my insecurities weren't born out of thin air. These are my measurements approximately: BPEL: 15cm-16cm (The lowest I registered and the highest respectively. I don't know if I measured it wrong sometimes or if I was biased but 14cm is definitely the lowest I registered while fully erect.) NBPEL: 14cm - 14.5cm GIRTH: 13.5cm - 14cm So as you can conclude I am on the smaller side. And it has been a very complicated war against myself. The struggle to accept things the way they are. I am well aware that things could have been worse but that thought isn't enough. I tried talking about it with therapists and how deep the problem is but the hints I dropped were probably not loud enough for them to deduct that there was something serious about those insecurities. Truth is I can't talk about it unless someone pushes me to do it. It's a miracle I am doing so right now. To make matters worse I cannot last too long in bed. I am sexually active with my current girlfriend and unless I use those condoms that make you last longer then I can barely last 1 or 2 minutes. Sometimes even seconds. To be fair the relationship is Long distance and we only see each other every 2 weeks. Sometimes we don't have sex. I believe that maybe with some more practice I would improve my time. Plus I do all sorts of things to train my muscles down there. Kegel exercises. I try to last at least 10 minutes while masturbating everytime. I do exercises to my muscles while peeing (which can cause injuries even). I am trying. It doesn't help that I am a very anxious man and I truly believe that anxiety plays a big role in this department. If I am not okay in my mind then that will affect things. Fortunately it never affected my erections yet. Gladly I am still like a 16 year old. This seriously depresses me because I am a fool for love and all I want is to feel like I am what my partner wants and needs. To feel like I can be the best for her and I don't think I will ever feel like that with anyone. Maybe she does indeed feel that I am enough and that I am what she needs and wants but I can't accept it and that's my problem. Not hers. Men that are on the smaller side like me experienced it. They've seen through their own eyes and felt with their own mind how women feel pleasure with above average members. I will never feel what that is like. I am tired. There's so much more to talk about this yet but I can't do it. I am aware that the character of a man shouldn't and isn't defined by the size of his penis but it does make an impact in my opinion. Like that saying goes "Good men don't come with good dick". I am not by any means classifying myself as a "good man" but I see truth in that sentence. I don't know how to fix this problem. Thanks for reading and, again, I am sorry. I am just your typical insecure man about his penis size... Jesus... I am really weak.
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