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ILoveZed

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  1. I dont think I have anyone who can take this normaly. I had a teacher in my school which was really cool and I liked talking with her. She was really open about everything and I feel like she was really going to help me with that, but now I am not in that school anymore.
  2. Sorry about my English. Hi, so sometimes I feel really depressed and confused when I am thinking about my sexuality. I feel like I dont know what I am. I dont know if I Iike guys or girls and I am really confused about what should I do. I feel like I cant tell anyone. Cuz if I tell my parents they will be asking me "why didnt you tell us" and if my grandma knows she would probably get a heart attack. So I cant do anything else than to just search for help on the internet and it does make me feel better when I write about this stuff. I am going to start with the fact that I have had a crush on a girl only one time and it was at 3 grade and back then I didnt really know what I was feeling, so I am not sure if I should count this. Anyways I just have always had a crush on guys. It was really weird. There is no one esle on the school who has got only one girl crush in his whole life. Everyone is talking about girls and I pretend to like girls too, because I cant imagine their reaction if I tell them how I feel. Another thing is that when I feel depressed I just want to hug someone and because I cant i feel even more depressed. I have tried to jerk off to a straight porn, but it just doesnt work. Also I never get hard from a girl. I always get hard around guys. And actually the thing that makes me feel depressed is that I dont want to be like this. I want to be normal. I have talked with my mom about gays and all of that and she is ok with them and I then I felt like I could tell her, but I am still not sure what I am. I am just praying that it is because of puberty and it will go away, but it is not going away. I am only 14 and most people will probably tell me "Ahh you will be ok", but I am not ok. I want to know what am I and to be able to tell my parents and friends about it without feeling uncomfortable. Please help me.
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