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Jktw

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  1. Thank you for your advice. I have taken these tests as well as a few others, and while I don’t believe I can fully say I’m autistic it does seem like I may have some autistic tendencies. I would like to go see someone about this and the other things I’ve been struggling with, but unfortunately this has been a crazy year and it just doesn’t seem like something I can reasonably do right now with everything else that has been going on.
  2. Lately I’ve noticed something I struggle with a lot, is really relating to other people. My brain is so different from everyone else’s and my anxieties revolving around change and people have kept me away from doing new things for so long that I really have nothing to relate to people with. I already avoid conversation as much as possible; however, when it does come up I end up saying something about someone else because I can’t relate to their experiences. I can’t really relate to anyone. Even setting the anxiety aside, my head and emotions just work and think so differently that i cant relate to how those around me feel and think. Even when a I think about my best friend, who has literally been my only friend my whole life, I really have problems with relating to how she is thinking and feeling. It’s something that has really bothered me lately, and I think it’s made me even more isolated than I already would have been and I didn’t even realize it. The thing is, I don’t know how to teach myself how to do that. I’ve taught myself to do a lot of things thus far in my life, but this is something I’m completely lost on. How do so even begin to tackle something like this?
  3. I’m honestly not quite certain how to start this, but I just discovered this site and think that I might be in need of just some advice right now. (Sorry in advance for the super long post) I’ve never been on this site before, but I’ve been on websites like this. They were just communities where you posted about something you needed help with and people could reply. Many of them weren’t very active with replies and just weren’t good for me, and one I was on when I was around 16 or 17 years old. When my parents found out that I made an account they were so upset with me and thought that what I was doing was dangerous, and I was so ashamed that I never went on again and deleted everything I had to do with it. Parts of me think that it really just propels some of my bad habits, but considering that I am now 20 and keep thinking about it and coming back I think it was helpful in someway. I don’t know what I need help with at this point or what exactly is going on with me, but I’m tired of being like this all the time. Everywhere I go I feel like I’m the weird one, no matter where it is. In my family I’m the one that’s kinda crazy cause I like different things, and even though I’m smart I’m the kind of person that doesn’t always get the joke or understand what your saying right away. I can’t stand the sound of bottles crinkling or people chewing, and every time I’m just told to stop making a big deal about it. In middle school I sat alone all year cause people were making rumors about me and I was too nervous to sit next to someone. In high school people thought I was mean because I didn’t talk to them, when in reality I was too scared to. In college I’m just outright invisible. I only have one person that I’m really truly friends with and we have been for a long time, but it took a good three years for any sort of interaction to actually happen at all. I’m just flat out scared and uncomfortable talking with people, and it’s gone on for so long in my life that it seems like a normal thing now but it sucks. I’m always so worried that I won’t make sense or will sound so ridiculous that I won’t even try to talk to anyone. I’ve always been the person that will sit in class for two hours with bad gum because I’m too scared to just stand up and throw it away (which is unfortunately a true story). Lately just everything puts me on edge, and I don’t know what to do about it anymore. Some days I’m fine and some days I actually wish that I could just burst into tears and cry. I don’t sleep anymore, not because I can’t but because I don’t want to. I don’t want to sleep cause when I wake up I have to deal with everything all over again. I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is anxiety or what, but I’m so tired of it. It’s been like this my whole life but I’m tired of being nervous and too afraid to just live my life with other people. Even now it’s 3:15 in the morning and even though I know that I need to sleep I just don’t want to. It feels like there’s a ball of tightness in my chest that just won’t go away. Super long explanations aside I just need advice. I can’t live like this forever, but I don’t know what to do about it.
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