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Ladichy

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  1. @LaLa Marie Kondo drives me absolutely insane! 😂 She teaches that things are either black or white. They are not. There are so many shades of grey in between. For example...I bought 2 rolls of "pleather", one to recover a sofa, the other for bags I was going to make (my sewing machine is currently blocked by the clutter). We no longer have the sofa. According to Marie Kondo I should get rid of the rolls. I didn't and it's a good thing. See, my husband and daughter's boyfriend both have motorcycle seats that need to be recovered, and I still plan to make the bags. Not to mention the fabric was expensive-even from the discount site. If I sold it, I wouldn't have gotten my money back, then I would have had to purchase it again. See my conundrum? That is the case with many items in our home. They used to be organized... Yes, there are many things I can let go. But without going thru everything, I can't tell you what or where. That is part of being "frozen". I want to get the things out of my home. I am not a hoarder, quite the opposite actually. I prefer minimalism. It gives me peace, but I can't seem to accomplish it. I am actually going to change the focus of my time with my LCSW to how to deal with the combination of bipolar-disorder, ADD & OCPD. This weekend I came to the realization that my inability to deal with my emotions in a constructive way actually comes from the seemingly polar opposite combinations. I would get angry and take it out on my family when I left for my Mom's house, then again when I came home. I'm not sure yet why I was angry when I left, but I know I was angry when I came home because I was leaving "peace" and going back to chaos. I know this is going to be a very long uphill battle, it has been my entire life. At least I have a name for it now. I am way too cognizant of my emotional and mental state, I'm glad. Without that recognition I probably wouldn't be having this discussion with you right now. 😊
  2. Hi @LaLa! I have a Psychiatrist for medication and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I started seeing the LCSW for issues in dealing with my emotions and learning to deal with something besides anger. However, I have realized that part of the emotional chaos is the result of the physical chaos. I go to my Mom's on the weekends (she is unable to be by herself so I help my sister) and feel relaxed, despite dealing with my Mom. Her house has a lot of stuff (moved from a 5000sq ft house to 2000), but it is much easier to deal with. She is also OCPD and I know exactly how she wants things. My sister (and brother who stays most of the week), on the other hand, are both "slobs". Not horribly...but enough to drive her crazy. I seriously don't know how to deal with this. I stay in my room, or "my hole" as my daughter calls it, most of the time. I would post a video or pictures of my house, but I'm too ashamed. My LCSW mentioned being a hoarder, but it's not that simple. My Mom moved and we had to clear out everything. I got all of her craft items (I'm the only one who crafts) which was a LOT. Then I herniated my L4/L5. While I was flat on my back, our daughter decided that we needed to swap the front living room (my office/craft area) which was fairly organized with the back living room (the real one). She had a several friends (that all knew me), my husband, her boyfriend and our son for the heavy lifting. Everything was thrown into boxes in no order and no "label" or writing to know what was in the box. Now the rest of the house is clean and organized, by her. But my bedroom and office/craft room are a sheer disaster. I don't even know where to start. I need to go thru the stuff my Mom gave me, but I need to be able to get to it...by organizing and putting away what I already had. I had planned the room out on grid paper. Yes, I am that OCPD! Even the furniture was cut out to spec with the drawing with the room. I did this with our entire house and have a book dedicated just for that purpose. I just can't get to anything to put it where it is supposed to go. Our son moved out, so I thought it would be easier having the space in 2 rooms, not just 1, but our daughter has "extra" things (like my thin cabinets with scrapbooking supplies) in his closet and room. Everything is just shoved in there. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! And I will try every one. I'm great at helping others organize, but if they saw my house no one would ever let me help them again.
  3. I believe this discussion has gotten off topic. I will apologize in advance for the long post and if I seem to ramble. I read over it and tried to consolidate related issues. I have ADD and Bipolar II. My Psychiatrist mentioned he thought I had OCPD to me a couple of days ago. During my research, I ran across this discussion. I understand the original question. How can ADD & OCPD co-exist. They seem to be an oxymoron, existing at 2 ends of the spectrum. Sometimes I feel frozen. Unable to start or complete anything. Running in circles. I can't start anything because I can't finish it in the controlled way I need to (work at it for 20 minutes then take a break is a joke). If I start anything, I Have to finish it to my expectations. It's a vicious cycle. Add the Bipolar and it's a recipe for disaster. The need to finish things to my expectations causes other problems related to physical issues. It is also causing problems with my family. They feel like I'm being unreasonable wanting things done a certain way (kind of like I felt as a child), therefore do things their way (not unreasonable, but drives me crazy). The ADD makes me super focused on completing something to my expectations (organizing the kitchen), yet it is destroyed the next day. On top of all, I believe our daughter has OCPD. She makes lists for everything, gets unreasonably upset when things aren't done her way, doesn't make friends easily etc. Our daughter and I have always been really close, even during the dreaded teen years. She has always been my rock. Yet this seems to be tearing us apart. She is there for me, listens, tries to help with what I want and makes suggestions on how to accomplish things. Then I find out she broke down in tears to her Dad or boyfriend because it's too much. I feel incredibly alone. A year ago I was so close to ending my life (my Dad did in 2009, his mother when he was 24-before I was born). Thoughts of her was the only thing that saved me...not my husband or our son. My Bipolar medication has gotten rid of those thoughts. Now I don't even want to feel anything...but the anger that I survived with for so long. I don't even understand why my husband is still around after 30 years. I just hope I'm not the only one and just going crazy...
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