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Everything posted by Sheepish

  1. I didn't intend to start saying anything over night that would be out of character in reguards to his penis. I think the main time he has felt insecure with me was when we first dated and while I was pregnant. The rest of the time he has no issues being naked in front of my just casually or doing a helicopter with his penis at me. I feel he felt more insecure while I was pregnant because I wasn't into different sexual activites with him during my pregnancy for reasons already stated. First you told me to separate because I feared he could potentially be gay and that if I will forever think he is I should leave him. Then you suggest I separate from him because he will never get over SPS. Both are totally unreasonable. I am going to assume you aren't married. Marriage is more than just sex. Marriage is hardwork. Its give and take and loving your partner through the bad times and being able to work past issues and problems and knowing how to forgive and love them at their worst.Its helping them when they aren't even able to help themselves. It is not reasonable to leave him because of his SPS. I am pretty sure that is exactly what many men on here experience in non marital relationships that lead them to believe all women are bitches only wanting large penis. Your advice to separate is the exact sort of behavior that men on here fear and hate women for. So I really don't understand why you keep pushing that as an option? I am really honestly sorry you feel this way. I can't imagine the pain you face everyday. But there is no way in hell that I would ever agree Eugenics should be a thing we do and that men like my husband should be weeded out of the gene pool because of his penis. My husband is a damn good man. Hes intelligent and hilarious and I love everything about him. I would do anything for him to make him happy.Including leaving him if he had ended up being gay if it could mean he would be truly happy. I really don't understand why you have turned my concern for my husband into something else. I really don't know how you find it possible to equate a small penis with being a slave and rotting and dying in a nursing home but kudos to you because you have managed to do just that. I feel like you are projecting your own feelings about yourself and your life and I feel awful that you feel this way. And I am sorry that society has conditioned you to this point and feeling this way in general about any man with a less than average penis. Words aren't going to do anything to make you think differently about yourself and the world but not all women think and feel the way you think they do. And I don't know any men that I have dated that have put other men down for their penis size or looked down on them in the way that you do. Where are you getting this from? I have never known any of this to be true. People really don't go around talking about mens dicks, if they are stallions, or if they are impotent. I have never known anyone even anyone second hand to be this way. I don't even have words to respond to this. How is an impotent man worthless? Men are worth more than just their penis just like women are worth more than just their vaginas. I want to say I have never thought about what other men may potentially have penis wise. I never thought about how big guys where and I have never speculated and made fun of men for potentially have or lacking a certain size or ability. Neither has my husband or past partners of mine. I have came across many men though that like to talk crap about women having a busted vagina or feeling like being with some chick was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. But I really haven't came across women making fun of men. I feel like it is super easy to find that online because its easy to find everything online. If you are looking for videos on women saying they don't like small dick you are going to find tons of videos on that. But if you look for porn of women enjoying small penis you are going to find that too. As far as people with other disabilities or chronic illness I feel SPS would have a lot of stigma and misunderstanding like any mental illness would even in a community of chronic illness and disability. People don't understand what they aren't going through themselves. But thats true about any illness. Someone with normal insulin levels isn't going to understand a diabetics struggles. A woman isn't going to understand SPS but a man probably won't understand PTSD from miscarriage or tramatic child birth. Oh I know and I appreciate your suggestions. We had a much better sex life before kids. Kids are great at cock blocking.
  2. @Under5 I have asked for couples therapy. I asked years ago when I was pregnant and several days ago. He refuses. i know its most likely because he is afraid to go and say what his issues are and listen to me say what mine are to someone. As for doing something like nude beaches. I am pretty sure there is nothing like that in our area, we still have small children, and its not something I think either of us would be comfortable joining in on. But after reading the posts here I feel like I have a some what better understanding. I have looked back on the past events and realized times I probably made him feel insecure with himself and hurt him without meaning to or trying. We have talked about it and his feelings and I have apologized and so has he for the dating apps and nudes. I never realized his penis was an issue for him after we were together. I have asked him how it effects his daily living that I don't even know about. He mentioned fears he has every time he has to go and use a public restroom and I had no clue he did any of those things. And everything he has said about his feelings or things he has done are all things I have read on this board. @LaLa its alright. You are a mod here and I'm sure you regularly see all the posts made on the sps board. I don't. So the very idea of sps is a totally new world for me. When I wrote my message I was trying to google if what he did was normal and looking up info on husbands with a small penis. The fact that so many men do the exact same things he does and for the same reasons was reassuring to me but heart breaking he feels the way he does about himself. I love my husband but finding out about the pictures he sent felt like a total betrayal. Even though hes not gay and I understand his intention behind the photos it feels like cheating to me. I can move past that but I have to understand the why and where he is coming from. I don't want my marriage to end because there was a point we weren't communicating and he felt unwanted. I didn't realize he felt his penis was a problem but now that I do I want to make an effort to make him feel wanted and make up for any ways I made him feel that where negative about himself. It has also cleared the way for us to talk about some other issues in our marriage.
  3. So I want to respond to the big question everyone keeps asking. Why would you automatically assume it means hes gay? My reason being is I grew up around an LGBT community. My sibling was gay and had lots of drag friends around. Many who where married to women and did drag insecret and had affairs with men regularly. That has always stuck with me. I have my own issues about being cheated on previously . My first initial instinct was to think he is gay. Think of it like a reflex reaction. I asked for opinions here because well I'm not a man. I admit I don't understand. I don't understand the fear and worry surrounding SPS. I did lurk the board like I said and some of the posts did make me think he was telling the truth and just wanting someone to compliment him like he said bit I reached out to the board for opinions. I'd like to add I did read the links you all provided. Thank you! They where hepful. I have talked to my husband since posting when I have been more calm and in a more clear mental. I discussed why this is not ok for me. He agreed if I sent nudes to a woman for confirmation on how I look he would be upset. And I agreed I understand he felt a man would be more honest about his penis. YOTH thank you for the input about when I was pregnant. My pregnancy was high risk and I was sick non stop. I would puke often the entire time and I refused to do oral sex because everything and anything made me get sick. I would get sick just from water. And I was so large now that I think about it that typical pregnancy sex positions didn't work and I didn't think about it at the time. But I am wondering if the positions not working out messed with him. You have given me a lot to consider and think about. Also for those telling me if you will always think hes gay or if you can't handle the sps divorce him. Really? I am more than willing to understand and work on my marriage. Which is why I reached out here for men with sps to give me advice. I don't think its unreasonable to gut reaction think your spouse is gay if you catch them on a gay app having no context on why initially. If he was gay I wanted to know. Hes my bestfriend and if he married me for reasons to be a cover I deserve to know and he deserves to be happy. Before we discussed why he did it sps never occurred to me. I had never heard of sps. I never realized how insecure he is until I thought long enough to create my first post on the things I know he does similar to other sps posts. Now that I know what suggestions do you all have for helping him feel wanted and secure with me?
  4. I really am not sure what to think. I have lurked this support board and I think I have a better understanding but maybe I am wrong. I have been with my husband for 10 years. When we started dating he was very sexually inexperienced. I knew that when we started to date. I later found out it was because his entire life he was afraid to date and have sex because of his penis (his words). My husband is 5 in. He has measured it several times while we have been together. We have always had a great sex life until we had kids but I feel thats normal? I never had any complaints about our sex life other than our work schedules being opposite shifts got in the way. There was a point in our marriage while I was pregnant that we did not get along. He hated me and even researched getting a divorce. I found out during that time he was very unattracted to me while I was pregnant that he had downloaded hook up apps to his phone and made accounts to look for women. I found out one of the accounts was grinder. Which is for gay men. When I confronted him about the gay app he swears he isnt gay or bi curious. But that he didn't think anyone would want him because he believes he has a small dick. And he doesn't believe he satisifies me with it like I say. He said women wouldn't talk to him on the apps and he wanted to know if his penis is as small as he thinks it is. He said he sent a pic of his dick to two men to get an honest opinion because a gay man would be more honest about what they think. He said he was made fun of by both men. He then decided he wasn't going to cheat and deleted all of the apps abd we then worked on our married for 5 years after that. But I am just now finding out he sent pictures of his penis out into the world. Should I believe thats why he sent it out to men? He has always been extremely sensitive about his penis. He constantly mentions how its small or makes small dick jokes. He has asked me about my previous relationships and how he compares to them. He also compares himself to men in porn and refuses to watch any porn with me at all. He wont even pee in public urinals if other men are there. I really have no problem with his penis at all. But I just am not sure about his dick pic sending excuse. I have never thought he was gay or bicurious before. I can understand him sending a dick pic to get opinions because female friends have send me naked pics that I did not ask for to ask me my opinion on their new piercing or to help them pick which lingerie looks better. Is this a SPS issue or am I just reaching for excuses?
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