i stay in my room all day. All year. I never talk to anybody when i leave school, when i am at school, i always somehow manage to fuck up whatever i do, i can try to be funny, end up with just being ennoying instead..
at first when i talk to people, they like me and we become friends, but slowly if you spend more than 1hour with me, i feel they dont like me much anymore.
im 15, shower often, dress properly, but i do only wear sweatpants and normal clothes. Everyone knows me as the geek who never leaves his room and people dont know more than that.
my dad does not like me either, i can feel it. my mom and dad are divorced, But they share one thing. Always if they CAN avoid having me join activities, family time, stuff like that. It does not make it better that on school.
i have some supposed "friends" They arent really my friends. ive figured, on school it may seem like im ight. But when everyone leaves school, NO ONE wants to have anything todo with me.
Ive always been the guy who wasn't really a part of my grade, at first i found some friends in 10th, when i was in 8th but, however they left. some of they stayed because they were only 9th graders but left when i HAD to start 10th, 10th grade is WACK. Because i only was with 10th when i was in 8th, i never got any friends in my grade. just sat there. Eating left to goto 10th grade friends, i was known as that for 2 years, If 10th left for workdays, id just sit where we used to sit. just wait. intil they come back.
But when i got to 10th i had no friends and since id isolated me from everyone in my grade. i was fucked. I had no friends. I got some in my 10C im in 10A, only because i had to work on a group project with them in a class that shared all 10th grades together, you could choose "Spanish, German or work at a groccery store." in the start in the 10th year, so i choose groccery store so they did." i dont feel like they like me and would rather get rid of me.
It sucks to exist, i wish i could goto sleep and stop existing. i was i wasnt born.
When i grow im gona move away. Stop existing. get a husky, get a good pc. And work online. Exersize in my house and all. Buy alot of grocceries when i have too. Never leave unless grocceries and walking husky.
Help?... what is this kinda stuff?