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SoccerCoach88

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About SoccerCoach88

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  • Birthday 04/30/1988
  1. My Dad lied about how he's never said come home its just a headache we can deal with it. For me its like what can you you? His ansewer I can't do anything. So why am I going to go home when nothing can be done at home. The doctors don't' believe me b/c accordding to the scans and mri's there is nothing physically wrong with my head so they said its psychogenic. My neuro has given up on me. So we're trying a new approach. Right now, I'd like to be admitted to the hospital for pain management, the headache today has been insane and for some reason it's not responding to the meds. I am hoping to sleep it off tonight. We'll see.
  2. So this morning, I told my Dad that I wanted to committ suicide. I don't have any plans but I just want it all to end, the physical pain, emotional pain, doctors, and therapists. I feel that my family would be better off without me. I tell my Dad, I have a migraine, he says "its just a headache we'll take care of it." well my dad was in bed when i got home, and didn't do crap, and they didn't do anything to help me. So I went to the ER and he just mad at me for going, and said I couldn't keep going just for a "headache". I feel like a lost cause, like no doctors believe me and I'm just running around in circles trying to get the right help that I need. They wouldn't have to worry me anymore, no finanace issues, no more trips to the docs or ER and no more criticism from them. I'm just in a really bad place, my dad said he never said "its just a headache" but he lied to me, he told me that Sunday when i had to go to the ER for a major migraine than he had the nerve to lie to my face. I'm not stupid. Kate C.
  3. I use the medications as directed. It might sound like a lot but I have a complex condition where I've been diagnosed with fibromalygia, conversion disoder with pre syncope issues and psuedoseizure features, chronic headaches/ migraines, depression and anxiety disorder. I do take a lot but not over the recommended dose from my doctor. I just need this pain to end. It's getting pretty ridiculous. Other than that I don't have much to say.
  4. So recently I have had thoughts about cutting. I am in constant pain with chronic daily migraines and fibromyalgia and it's getting harder and harder to deal with every day. I am trying to stay away from the narcotics, but tomorrow morning I think I'm going to have to go to the local ER to get some help with the headaches. The cutting comes into play I guess because it's like something needs to hurt more than my head so I don't have to think about it. I currently am not cutting but the thoughts are there. They are new to me so I'm not sure what to do. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow and we'll probably talk about it. Kate.:confused:
  5. A friend will be there to bail you out of jail, but a great friend will be sitting in the cell with you saying that was great.
  6. For me, I'm finding a lot of sarcasm in my grief. I also have found some interesting emotions in me. For sarcasm for example, if one of the flower places calls, and my parents asked who was on the phone, I'll tell them something like "oh they'll be delivering reminding you your nana died flowers".... or For a while they kept the sympathy and condolences cards up, and I just took them and piled them up. I called them reminding me my nana died cards. I'm confused if this is anger, or just the way I deal with things. For me, usually I'm the funny one the one to make people laugh when I don't try... Now it's just like sarcasm is most of what comes out of my life. THe funeral is tomorrow, and I don't know if I'll actually stay in the church or not. I mean I was there for the hard part, when she actually died but for some reason I don't think I can do this. I guess I'm confused about life right now. Kate C.
  7. Hey there. A "HA" is a headache, I was a nursing major so I picked up all the medical non-sense. I'm actually in between pain streaks right now. I went to ortho and he was happy with the way that my leg is coming along but gave me a cortizone shot. Holy mother did it hurt, but I gotta say almost 12 hours later and I'm still not in pain although my leg is pretty swollen bruised and will probably hurt tomorrow for PT. My doc is sending me for intense outpatient treatment right now. I am going up to see the facility Thursday with my therapist actually becuase she wants to know what its like... Well It's back to the ice packs for now so I can keep this leg in semi working shape. When it rains it pours. Kate C.
  8. Hey guys- So I got out of the hospital on Friday night. I was so doped up on dilaudid and percocet I couldn't tell you what month or day it was. Unfortunetly this did not solve the pain problem but gives us some new options to look into. The docs bascially are saying that my brain is my worst enemy. It's like an endless lose lose game for me. They are not saying that I am making it up or anything like that. They are pretty much saying that your brain has some issue with the pain reeptors that I can't control. For me it stinks. They want me to do some intensive outpatient treatment to take care of some psych issues and give me better ways to cope and hope that it will help a little bit. I wish I was pain free. Tonight (its now 2 19am here) a horrible night. Taken percocet and toradol. We'll see what happens. Hopefully I can get some sleep. Thanks for the support. Best. Kate C.
  9. So my nana just died. I was there for her last breaths. I am having a really really hard time coping with her loss. What do you guys do??? For me it was having a couple of hours and then I had to go back to school the next day, and deal with various other things that seemed so insignificant when they really weren't. My doctor always says "no time for self-pity"... I don't think that I'm in that stage though, I'm not sure if he's getting the fact that I'm trying to I guess learn how go grieve if that makes sense. In a way I'm still in the denial phase. The funeral is this weekend I guess what is when it might hit me. How do you guys grieve or is there no way of really doing it because its all different? I feel so lost and hopeless in this circle. Thanks. Best. Kate C.
  10. already on xanax and zyprexa... so have to be careful of use of benzos. usually if i can get a benadryl shot in and at least 1 xanax it'll pass pretty quickly but now its just getting all that responsibility of remembering the meds to bring with me. it's such a pain as is giving myself an IM shot. Best. Kate C.
  11. wow- this is the first time i'm getting to look at all the responses. i just had a one week stint in the hospital for an intractable HA that lasted too long/ into the red zones. There were also some red flags (waking me up from sleep, not being able to sleep from it and so on) so one of the workers on my house (he's the nicest guy) drove me to the local urgent care center, where they moved me to an admission at the main hospital. Oh well for doing well for a little while. I've finally gotten myself off of the narcotics for the most part, a vicodin every couple of weeks if the pain gets bad. but i was so doped up at the hospital for so long by the time i got home i was just numb and for the first two days tried to get everything back in order. i've done the natural/ homeopathic route but it didn't work. They are now sending me to an intensive inpatient treatment program for psych. They pretty much said my head is playing games with my body. I can't control it but everything that hurts that shouldn't hurt is like a never win game for me. Best. Kate C.
  12. Hi all. Well I got admitted to the hospital today for an intractable headache. I've had this bout of really bad HA's for the last week and a half and a headache/migraine every day since march. Well I'm hoping to get some much needed pain relief that I know will help my depression becuase when you've had pain this long, yeah you can get pretty depressed becuase I was pretty much non functional the last 3 days. So any kind of support would be greatly appreciated as most people hate being in hospitals (I do at least), and that I get some much needed relief. Thanks. Best. Kate C.
  13. Hi all. So I'll get right to the point, my Nana died on Wednesday surrouneded by myself, my dad and my aunt. she just simply stopped breathing. we were waiting for the time to happen, her periods of apnea just kept getting longer. i got to read a letter i wrote to her and told her it was ok to let go. 10 minutes later she was gone. i actually took some extra pain meds because my head gets worse when i am super emotional. i feel myself dipping into a depression again. i miss her so much, i can't even put it into words. kate
  14. Hey guys. So I have chronic ha/ and migraines. I just got out of the ER about 20 minutes ago, and I lied once again to my parents about it. How do you guys cope with chronic pain (if you have it). I'm having a really hard time. My family was just hit by my cousins fiance committing suicide which opens old wounds for me, when I hit rock bottom I told my parents I didn't want to live anymore. But now I'm in a better place. My family is super supportive. But I am having trouble coping with chronic pain what should I do??? Kate
  15. I am a 22 year old college student. I suffer from now what they are calling non epileptic seizures. They are having me see a specialists soon. My parents are super helicopter parents because I have about 5 diagnoses in one complex condition. For me, I have now turned to lying to my parents when I'm having seizures and I'm brought to the hospital. I tell them that I am at the library studying or getting extra help or else they would get mad and take me out of university. So I guess I am wondering if I'm doing the right thing by lying, and getting through the day without problems, or should I be upfront with my parents and tell tell them whats going on and whether or not and have them flip. I've lied probably three or four times that this point. THanks. Kate
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