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Musicman

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Musicman last won the day on February 11 2011

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About Musicman

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    I've got really embarrassing issues. If they disgust you, just know that they disgust me more.

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    Turn around...
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    Music. I happen to be a Beatles nut. Every forum has to have one, right?

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  1. Welcome to the forum, RG01. There are any number of reasons that your son may have these interests and is partaking in said behavior. It could be a case of infantilism (a paraphilia in which the individual likes to think of him/herself as a child), but I think that's not very likely. It sounds like simple age regression to me. I admittedly don't know much about the topic. I will say, though, that whatever his reasons are, be supportive and no matter what, do not shame him. I guarantee you that he already feels badly enough about these feelings and desires, and he'll only grow to resent you (and possibly himself) if you make him feel worse about it all. For some time now, I've known someone in his mid-20s who is very much into age regression. He was active here for a brief time. He's specifically interested in the thought of being a toddler, perhaps around 5-years-old. From the way he describes it, it sounds similar to someone with gender identity disorder or gender dysphoria. In the sense that people feel like they are born into the body of the wrong sex, it feels to him like he's really a child inside of an adult's body. I imagine it must be a very painful existence. If you'd like, I can try to have him talk to you. We're no longer in contact for various reasons that led to a bit of a falling out, but I've been meaning to patch things up with him, anyway. If I can, I'll send him your way.
  2. Hey, just checking up on you. As good as it is that your mom knows someone who can help you, you must not make any mention of the original reason you joined this site. More than likely, this person won't be understanding, and given that he/she has personal connections with your mother, it can cause problems. I imagine this was your plan, anyway, but just focus on feeling disconnected and stuff like that. You mentioned earlier that you have the same daily routine. Namely, wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, get on the computer for a bunch of hours, and go to bed. I can tell you that this has mostly been my schedule for several years now, and it gets more and more depressing as time goes on. I wish I could give advice about how to change it, but I'm really just as clueless about it as you are. What do normal people do after getting home from work or school? I don't know who said this, but this sounds a lot like determinism. Determinism is the theory that free will is an illusion, and that every action we as humans take is the only action we can take. We are nothing but computers, and based on all information we have received in the past, we will react to a given situation in a specific way — the only way we can act. That is to say, when I saw your post and decided to reply, I had no control over that decision to do so. It was quite literally the only choice I could have made. It's an interesting theory, and I may be wrong, but my understanding is that science does not fully support it. I don't understand it all too well, but I believe that quantum mechanics poses some major issues for it.
  3. Well then, OP. It seems as if you answered your own question.
  4. I use to advise that all pedophiles receive professional help. However, after experiencing the negative possibilities first-hand and knowing many people who had it much worse than I did, I would only recommend doing so if this is an issue you honestly feel you can't live with or control.
  5. I don't know what country you're in or how pedophilia is typically dealt with there, but my absolute sincerest advice would be to NOT tell anyone at school. This is all very specialized, and they will not be able to understand or offer help. Rather, they will likely cause a lot more damage for you. I think there is a very high chance that it could come back to bite you in the ass.
  6. It is true that POCD can cause one to repeatedly question himself as to whether he's a pedophile or not. However, from what I've seen, most people who suffer with POCD related to pedophilia will insist that they're not actually attracted to children. The fact that you say that you know you're attracted to children makes me wonder if this is more than POCD. Here's the VirPed link. If you think the place is right for you, send them an email. Also, I invite you to chat with me here if you want.
  7. Senior penor, aside from the fact that I take major offense to your post, it's riddled with inaccuracies disguised as facts. According to the DSM, a person never needs to engage or attempt to engage in sexual activity with a child. A person doesn't need to have ever watched child pornography to be considered a pedophile. Pedophilia refers to an intense sexual attraction to prepubescent children. Nothing more and nothing less. You're equating attraction and thoughts to action. Since when are they synonymous? Furthermore, my understanding is that statistically speaking, the overwhelming majority of pedophiles never hurt children. And not just that, but the overwhelming majority of people who sexually abuse children are not pedophiles according to the clinical definition, but situational offenders. They may molest children because they get a thrill out of the taboo aspect. They may do it because children are simply easy targets. There are any number of reasons a person may sexually abuse a child. However, if an individual is not equally or more attracted to children than he is adults, he is not a pedophile. I implore that you refrain from making these "common sense" claims when they couldn't be further from the truth. All it serves to do is stigmatize and demonize a class of people who did not choose and cannot control who they are attracted to. You seem to feel that a person who is sexually attracted to children is incapable of maintaining morals, but it's baseless. Most men are straight. Some men rape women. Are you, therefore, going to make the claim that no straight men can be trusted? That they're all animals waiting to claim their next victims? What about guys who are virgins? For what it's worth, the OP is clearly not suffering with POCD. An individual suffering with POCD related to pedophilia is not sexually attracted to children. Rather, he constantly questions himself as to whether he's attracted to children, and oftentimes, will try to "test" his level of sexual arousal towards children by thinking of children or viewing images while masturbating. It's a disorder largely made up of what-if questions.
  8. Listen to what you're saying, though. You don't want to live because people are largely misinformed and ignorant about what pedophilia is and isn't, and you're (currently) not able to be close to any kids. I know that this will not be a popular opinion here, but honestly, pedophilia does not mean that you can never be close with any kids. It depends on the individual and how in control of his desires he is. I wouldn't simply recommend that you just go out and meet some kids, but there are some of us that can handle those sorts of situations (personally, I don't know if I can or can't, so I'm playing it safe until I know myself better). Many of us even have our own children who we don't abuse. I believe that both Nick and Ethan of VirPed have grown children now. Once again, some can handle it and some can't. Does this really make you want to die?
  9. I am also a virtuous pedophile. I imagine that because you used that specific term, you're a member of VirPed? I am. You've never hurt anyone, and you should feel proud of that. Why do you want to die so badly?
  10. PedophileNeedHelp, I am a pedophile who has been active online both giving and receiving support over the last few years. I know how hard it can be to deal with these attractions, and I would like to help. The problem is, at 14, I am really hesitant to call you a pedophile. Don't get me wrong; I'm not denying that you have these attractions. I've been attracted to girls since age 11 and boys since 14. It's just that, I think you're at a time in your life when your sexuality still can change. I feel like talking to you about this stuff could kind of "validate" your attractions, though frankly, I don't have any scientific basis for that. Furthermore, I'm apprehensive to talk to you because as a pedophile, myself, I wouldn't want others to accuse me of trying to groom you. That said, I know how difficult it can be to have these attractions and to not act on them. You've mentioned that you've watched CP. I certainly hope you don't still do that, as it's a really bad path to go down, and it's hell coming back from. Would you say that you are attracted only to younger children, or are you also interested in people your own age and/or older?
  11. Trucker, are you aware of the Virtuous Pedophiles support group? There are a lot of people there who find themselves in similar situations to yourself. When I used to frequent these forums (back then, this place was called Mental Help Net), I always wished more than anything that I could find other people who suffered with my attractions. I only ever met a couple, and they came and disappeared very quickly. I urge you to talk with me so we can try and figure things out for you.
  12. Trucker, you're clearly still upset about all of this. Why don't we talk?
  13. Musicman

    Need Help

    I've also got terrible self-control with some things. I'm 40lbs overweight, and have struggled to control it my entire life. I eat when I know I shouldn't, and I don't go to the gym when I know I should. Still, it's in a totally different league. If you could assign a numerical value of consequence to different acts A} eating when you shouldn't an B} molesting a child, surely, you could tell that one is a lot more dangerous and is far more important to avoid. It's not fair to yourself to compare your ability to control your sexual desires to your ability to control your food intake.
  14. Musicman

    Need Help

    Esruc, I know that you and I have had our share of negative confrontations in the past (both here and in another online community), but when I see someone who is struggling because of his attractions, I feel genuine empathy. Having been in a similar position to the one you describe, I have to ask why you think you'll step out of line and do something you'll regret. Have you done something before that really makes you question your ability to control yourself, or are you basing this all largely on "what if" scenarios? There have been two times in the past where I went to the beach, and upon arrival, I started to panic. Several times, I've been entrusted with the care of my little cousin for a brief period of time. It can be a scary thought, but there's something liberating about being in that position and realizing that you can act as a respectful, responsible individual.
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