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Gayle

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Gayle last won the day on April 13 2011

Gayle had the most liked content!

About Gayle

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 10/17/1979

Converted

  • Occupation
    Counseling Student
  1. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    Summoning of the Muse: I think this song comes as close to actually summoning a muse as songs can.
  2. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    Nice stuff, guys! Sorry, I'm going to be lazy and not respond to everyone individually...
  3. @Watercolor: I think you have a BEAUTIFUL username. Thanks for checking back in to let us know you're OK.
  4. Hi, Sensitive. I couldn't help but notice the location from which you are posting. I know perspectives on marriage might be a little more conservative over there, which could be making it harder on you. Also, keep in mind that my perspective on marriage is probably tinted with American glasses, but here goes: Sometimes marriages just don't work out and it's no one's fault. Other times, it IS more one person's fault than another's, as in cases of abuse, (whether verbal, emotional, or physical). Whatever the case, it is never up to just one person to make a marriage work. In conservative settings where divorce is looked down upon, potential abusers are likely very AWARE of this culture and use it against their victim, knowing that she (or he) will feel more trapped because of it. In the midst of your stress, don't doubt your decision to leave an abusive situation. It was the best thing for him, too. I suspect you may be feeling guilty over the divorce, particularly since your ex could have helped your parents. The irony has to be just killing you. I know it would kill me. But...is your parent's physical health worth the sacrifice of your psychological health? That's the gist of it. That's what it all comes down to. You made a healthy decision to save yourself (and your ex too) from an unhealthy situation. But, alternatively, would you have been willing to sacrifice yourself on the pyre of you ex-husband's abuse to save your parents? As for your other main problem, it sounds like you're dealing with issues of identity, like Malign said, and also issues of DUTY. Are daughters, particularly unmarried daughters, expected to care for ailing parents? You've gone from being a wife to being a daughter again, and...it doesn't sound like you're leaving much time to yourself. Don't get me wrong, caring for your parents is a noble endeavor and I'm sure they're grateful for the assistance. However, if you keep putting yourself "last in line" you may find yourself one day with nothing left to give, if you haven't already. Find a way to feed your own soul and give yourself space to breath, even if you have to be creative to do so. It's crucial. All the best, G.
  5. Hi, Confused and Leo. I'm going to piggyback on Dr. A's comments... Death is the primordial anxiety we all share, consciously or unconsciously. There's an argument that every lessor anxiety (guilt/condemnation, fate or meaninglessness) has its roots in this primary anxiety...Guilt or a sense of meaninglessness wouldn't have the same punch, in other words, if it wasn't for that over-arching deadline we all share. If we were immortal, we probably wouldn't need therapy, at least not for anxiety. Plus, the death anxiety is so terrifying for all of us, on some level, that we manufacture fears (like not getting a promotion, etc.). They become a "peg" to hang the primary anxieties on. In a way, you're ahead of most people. Some therapists try to get people to a place where manufactured fear will decrease and anxiety will increase, because the underlying anxiety can be very motivating. When we come to terms with imminent non-being, we realize that the cost to find meaning and all the risks and courage that demands of us is equivalent to the cost NOT to act and die without finding meaning. Then we realize we may as well act. I hope that wasn't too dense. I was reading about this not too long ago.
  6. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    This one always helps me...
  7. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    NO STRESS. This is one of my “workout” songs. I have to workout to danceable music because my dancing “skillz” frankly suck.
  8. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    @pseudome: That's right...Wow. That's spookily cool. :eek:
  9. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    I have some catching up to do! @Waiting: I have always LOVED that song by REM. A lot of their music seems very real. @Smallstar: and “Bleed Red” also taps into universality in kind of the same way. There’s something therapeutic about being reminded that there’s people out there like you. @sedsed: that Elvis song reminds me of selling televisions. The store played the same video over and over again and that song always accompanied the footage of Hawaii. I guess that’s pretty funny. @malign: DEFINITELY acquire the means to access YouTube. How’s that joke go? I’ll youtube your myspace if you google my yahoo. haha @IrmaJean: He has an amazingly resonant voice… @pseudome: I’ve been addicted to the Killers for a while, especially that song. Now that I’m studying counseling, I realizing it could be describing the feeling of being a client…all the powerful transference, guilt and the confessional nature of the client-counselor relationship, how it can be extremely emotionally taxing on a counselor and how the person being focused on is so very needy. …Or maybe I just need to get my nose out of my books. And I’m totally adding Foster the People to my library! @pseudome, again: It seems like you would be qualified to know—which Tool song actually contained the Fibonacci sequence? @IrmaJean: I don’t think I’ve ever really listened closely to “Bride Over Troubled Water” before. The lyrics describe a beautifully close relationship. It could be spiritual, romantic, or clinical. @Flander: That was sweet. I really liked Anita’s voice... And yeah, they don’t show that kind of thing on MTV much anymore. Hee. I like the video of the second one a lot. It’s simple, but effective…
  10. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    Another cool band I'd never heard of, although I bet I should've. I'm digging the 90's special effects...
  11. http://theworsthorse.com/2010/12/best-headline-of-2010/
  12. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    @Ralph: you might enjoy this. It's a heavy metal band with an African Gray parrot as the lead vocalist. No joke!: You can hear him screeching at random moments in the background.
  13. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    No, it's not everyone's cup of tea, but that's OK. I went through a phase back in high school when I listened to a lot of heavy metal. In fact I think I kind of memorized one of Pantera's albums...Strength Beyond Strength, I think? A few guy friends of mine have tried to get me interested in some heavy metal popular today, and it's just not happening. They don't seem as good, and besides, I'm not just not the heavy metal type anymore. Something in me has shifted. Back in high school, heavy metal was really good for me, because I was really angry back then and it gave me a way to digest my anger, I think...sort of express it vicariously. I'm not saying that's true for everyone, but that's how it was for me, and I think it was therapeutic, in a way.
  14. Gayle

    Music therapy!

    Post music links you find inspirational, fun, beautiful, or just a favorite for some other reason. OK, back to homework I go...
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