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Everything posted by Andromeda

  1. Im sorry you are going through so much pain Jenna.I really hope things to get better for you and to find happiness in your life. Hugs:)
  2. This what you made is so sweet:)
  3. Hi and welcome to the community:) I understand how bad can make you feel depression and Im sorry you are going through this.I have OCD and I know it can make you feel anxiety and confused.Ive never had lots of friends and somethimes I feel Im not funny or interesting person just like you.But you dont have to stop trying to make friends.Im sure you will find people who like you and will be happy to spend time with you. Do you ever think about therapy?It can help you to feel better Take care:)
  4. Im sorry you are feeling suicidal:(Yes OCD can make you unsure in what you really think or in what you belive.I understand you feel a lot anxiety and confusion now,but try to calm down.I felt like you many times. Things will go into their place and you will find what you really like and what is from OCD.
  5. I understand how bad you are feeling now,but things can change.Im sorry you dont have support from your parents.But you are important.Please take care.
  6. Andromeda

    What now

    Im trying to stay positive,but the pain and sadness are still here.Its like I will never escape from them.:(Somethimes I think maybe I deserve eveything that happen to me.I want to support people around me,but now I see I cant even help myself.
  7. Hi I dont know you but I saw your artwork and i like it

  8. Andromeda


    This song is so beautiful and Im glad you find someone who makes you feel like this:)
  9. Im fine these days maybe a little lonely,but my anxiety is not so strong
  10. I'm sorry you are going through this,but please keep youself safe
  11. Andromeda

    Si again

    In my life happens only problems.I havent gone out of my house more than 2 weeks.I dont have friends to talk.The only good thing is that this is my last year in high school.But maybe this is the problem to want to Si now.I have terrible fight with my mother.She said to me it doesnt matter even if I study hard,even if I have great grades I cant communicate good with other people.I feel so worthless now like Im just one mistake.
  12. Andromeda

    Si again

    I want to burn myself.I thought problem with SI was over,but I guess its not.Last time I ve done it was in 2010.I know I have to distract myself with something but it doesnt work.
  13. Andromeda

    My life now

    Maybe is more outside world.I have feeling like I dream everything around me-all people,buildings.I dont feel bad now.I feel some kind of too much joy and I have no idea why because I have lots of problems in my life these days.I have so much energy now.This happens to me somethimes.One or two months everything for me is more than happy and later am depressed.And most of thimes there have no reason to feel so happy or depressed.
  14. Andromeda

    My life now

    I just dont have idea what to do.This month I feel a little better but Im on so much pressure.My future seems so blur.Its like Im walking but dont know where Im going.I have feeling like I am dreaming.Everything around me seems unreal.
  15. Well maybe is only my imaginatoin but my father act really strange.Maybe he is stressed because of his work but i think he have problems.I mean there have periods when he says to me and my brother that we are not his chldren,he is angry most of the time.When he come home every single thing is a big problem for him and even when its his fault he deny.Nobody can understand him.He is more than nervous I think.
  16. Hi.Im sorry you are feeling so bad.I hope this forum will help you.I know depression is a terrible thing and its hard without support from anybody.I had problems with bulling in my school too.But please take care for yourself:)I hope here you will find people who care.
  17. I hope you will find peace you want.I think you are strong enough to break your shell.I understand you because I make my own shell.Maybe I was disappoinded from everyone around me.Im sure you can make it,because you realize you have problem.So you will fix it.Hold on:)
  18. Andromeda

    Just thinking

    Well Im not really sure why I feel this guilt.Maybe this thoughts make me feel guilty.I just dont know.My parents are really strange somethimes.On 31December everything was fine.I felt ok too.But My little brother had toothache and I gave him pill.Later he said to me he was fine.But he told to mum about toothache too.She came in my room and asked my why I didnt tell her about toothache.I said he is ok now but she told me she saw he still had toothache.My brother came in my room and told her he is fine.But she didnt belive him.She was sure that I told him to tell her he is fine when he is not. I would never do such a thing.So my New yeas eve wasnt really happy.I was angry and have one of these awful range outbrusts.My father said to me Im crazy.So I dont have idea what to do.Maybe is a good idea to talk with some school counselor.I just have no idea how to start what to say.Or is better to wait until I go to university next year?
  19. Andromeda

    Just thinking

    Today I find one of my diaries.In it I am 11 years old.I read it and now I am so :confused:I just cant explain how strange I feel.LIke I saw myself playing with my little brother.I remembered these days.They are so perfect in my mind so bright.Later I read my last diary.I felt big difference.I saw myself afraid of hurting people.I saw my world falling apart.Im mess now.Today Im between my most beautiful memories and most painful memories.Maybe because of New year.I have again this feeling of guilt.
  20. Andromeda

    Too tired

    Jenna520 I hope things will become better for you.Im sorry you are feeling so bad.About therapy I write where new members post.I dont have enough money.My family have more important problems.They never will pay for something like that.I have this thoughts since I was 14.First years I didnt know this is some kind of illneses.I was too little.I just thought I am bad person.The guilty was terrible.I was just a kid.I had no idea what to do.I was so scary.Now I know I am not so bad person but I still feel guilty time to time.
  21. Andromeda

    Too tired

    Thank you.I often have this feeling like I am all alone and nobody wants to listen.I tried sometimes to talk with my parents if they dont become angy I can see in their eyes they dont feel comfortable.This make me so ashamed and terible.I dont want people to feel bad because of me.How to explain that OCD thought cant go away when I just say stop.People around me think it s really easy
  22. Andromeda

    Too tired

    Today I tried to talk again with my mother about my OCD troughts.This idea wasn t good.She become so angry and thinks I m just not stong enough and weak.Am I ?I don t know what to think.Now I feel just guilty.I make life of everybody awful.I never mean to be so bad person.
  23. Thaks for support.But in my county is almost impossible to find free therapist.Well I am happy to know I can write here when the pressure is too much.I lost most of my friends because of this depression and OCD thoughts
  24. There are some thing that help me like reading book,listening music or writing something.But these things helps only when my thoughts aren't so overwhelming.Last year I felt so bad like I don't have options so I burned my arm.I now this is wrong so this year I stopped.I still want it somethimes but I never do it.My family makes things worse.They fight almost every night.I have important exams this year.I study hard for them but pressure is too much.
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