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malign

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malign last won the day on November 6

malign had the most liked content!

About malign

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    Administrator

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Changed in the Fall of '13; now in the snowy state of Michigan, US.
  • Interests
    Bird photography, go, happiness, Demented Bunnies
  • Biography
    Lifelong depressive with a dash of hope. My name is Mark, too.

Converted

  • Location
    Changed last Fall; now in the state of Michigan, US.
  • Interests
    Bird photography, go, happiness, Demented Bunnies
  • Occupation
    Software Engineer, site moderator, but most importantly, human being.

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  1. malign

    Take care ya'll

    So ... whatever happened ... was it about you or about them (whoever they might be)? It would be a shame to die because other people are idiots.
  2. malign

    Mental abuse and Human Rights violations

    And the reason that I suspect some part of you doesn't believe your explanation is that you posted this on a mental health website rather than a thugs-for-hire website.
  3. malign

    Mental abuse and Human Rights violations

    Raisul, Please believe me: we are not withholding help. But we can't chase away the things you see, much less the things you believe. You're studying IT, so you're a logical person who understands how the world works. What would you say to one of your friends if they told you their neighbors were tormenting them in their dreams? People sometimes see and hear things that aren't there. But these sensory inputs seem so real that they try to explain them using magical thinking, because nothing else can explain them. This condition is called schizophrenia, and it's harmful because gradually the person moves farther and farther from reality. They may begin to believe that strangers are out to get them, that others know things such as exactly when they're trying to get to sleep, and they get upset because no one believes them. I believe that you hear the voices of your neighbors, I believe this only happens when you're home, and I believe that you believe your explanation of all that. What I wonder is whether you would be open to explore other possible explanations. You are willing to ask for help to change the causes you believe in; could you ask for help to make sure your belief is correct, first?
  4. malign

    Losing weight

    Renni, Are you and your family attempting to manage your ED on your own, or do you have professional help? If it's just you and your folks, it could easily become (or return to) you against them. That way is much harder, and requires that you and they keep on communicating. With a professional, at least you have someone neutral to talk to.
  5. malign

    Does This Sound Like POCD or Pedophilia?

    You're right: the hallmark of obsession is that question, "what if?" With that going on, neither we nor even you can convince you of anything. In particular, "checking", also common with obsession, cannot work ("what if?" wins every time), and is actually silly (how can you make an effort not to think of something without continually thinking about that something to make sure you're not thinking about it?) Can you approach your parents, tell them you're having intrusive thoughts about being a bad person, and ask if they can get you help? You don't have to be specific. Or, ask them for an appointment with your regular doctor, and tell him or her in confidence? There are medications for OCD. They don't change your feelings; you'll still know that hurting a child is wrong. The meds cut down on the uncontrollable thought pattern that prevents you from trusting your own answer, that you're not a pedophile.
  6. malign

    Day 8

    (Car) trunk - boot Hood - bonnet Tire - tyre Cold, damp, and foggy - an ordinary day 😊
  7. malign

    Day 8

    We do have kettles; we just don't use them. ☺️ Most people here would use the microwave, or buy their expensive coffees in a shop. My parents were British; Mom English and Dad Scottish. I went off tea fairly young (due to overexposure), but Mom had a kettle and a teapot and a tea cozy she made herself. We're not barbarians, really we're not.
  8. malign

    Feel all alone

    Dave, you said you're afraid to go out; is there anyone you could call? You know, not much has changed since the verdict. It's not like all of a sudden everyone knows. You're still just another bloke on the street. And, you're doing what they asked you, to make it right. What more can anyone expect?
  9. malign

    Interruption of Service

    Management regrets any inconvenience due to its failure to pay the electric bill in a timely fashion. Oops. πŸ˜‘
  10. malign

    Vague thoughts

    "Wondering if anyone else out there feels the way I do." Pink Floyd did. I think everyone who has replied has. The responses sound to me like each person's attempt to give you what they use for support when it happens to them. The thing with needing people around is that we're all so different ... You said you don't know what you look for, here. Maybe you can feel what you're looking for? They don't have to be opposites, they can be best buddies who each see a different half of the picture. You're not alone.
  11. malign

    Curious

    If we haven't already fnord. Dave, the description is based on your number of posts, that's all. It doesn't mean you're aging quickly. πŸ˜‰
  12. malign

    Pedophilia or POCD??

    I'm not sure I'm following the conclusion "... so I can't go to" a professional. Can you tell your parents that you're having horrible intrusive thoughts, and leave it at that? It would seem that if you'd rather die, asking for help might be better, especially if you don't have to reveal too much. If you enjoyed the thoughts, they wouldn't be intrusive. But that reassurance won't last long, because you'll start testing that too. Get help before that happens. You deserve to be happy.
  13. malign

    My so called life

    I'd like a beautiful mind, but unfortunately, mine's butt-ugly. πŸ™‚
  14. And ... you probably know that neither my, nor anyone else's, reassurances will last very long. I used to "fear" that meds were the only way (mine are for depression/anxiety), but they're really just there to give you a break while you work on the underlying issues. Like why you let a thought of "what if I'm something awful" take root and grow.
  15. Well, we're not psychologists here or anything, so my first suggestion is to go see one. In fact, I wonder why you haven't done that already. Is it because you fear the answer? I doubt that a true pedophile cares either way if he is one. My opinion: you mention significant anxiety, prior compulsivity, though mild, and exhaustive testing. And you wrote us a very lengthy description of your results. I'll ask you -- does that sound like pedophilia or OCD? FYI: a "groinal response" may be obtained by practically anything, at your age, given the amount of trying you're forcing on yourself. Ask your doctor, your parents, or both, for what you need: less anxiety and a reduction in those repetitive thoughts that risk messing up your life.
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