Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'food'.
Found 3 results
Look, I dont know where else to ask about this. I do not have an eating disorder, but all that comes up when I ask daddy google is about OCD and EDs, and I've never been concerned about my weight. I'm fat, I dont care. I used to like eating but now I'm just turned off by literally everything under the sun, not even just food. The dog is kinda wet - I wanna throw up. The butter smells buttery - I wanna throw up. This eggroll had been in my mouth for .002 seconds too long - I wanna throw up. I've struggled to keep down meals for days now. I've become pretty agitated and upset that I wasted some buffalo chicken bites from a restaurant because I chewed one for two long and couldnt bear eating the rest. That probably makes it sound like i sit there chewing for five minutes, but it's a pretty typical amount of time: my brain just doesnt think so, I guess. Other searches said depression, and I guess, but I've been feeling pretty okay for months. I'm not even on my medication anymore and I'm fairly unlikely to accept I'm still clinical. In other words, everything was fine and now I would rather starve than eat. Yes, I have an appetite. I'm actively hungry. The thought of eating makes me nauseated. I can forcibly swallow some things, but nothing tastes good it's only just tolerable. Tolerable or vile. Theres no in between or balance. Sorry if I'm coming off as majorly aggressive, but the eggroll thing happened not long ago and it really pissed me off because i took time from my day to make it and my body is being a jerk about it. I have a doctor's appointment in a week, but I have about as much faith in them as I do google right now. Is there literally anyone else who is like, "o ye, that happened to me, I feel, dont worry youre fine, something about age and DNA or something"?
Okay so, I don't know why, for the past couple of years, I've, like, mentally praised myself when I go hours without eating (like 8 to 20 hours). Especially when I'm upset/sad. Food is completely unappealing & sometimes flat-out disgusting to me when I'm sad. (I have moderate to severe depression, mild social anxiety, & self harm problems, btw.) I like the taste of food (most of the time)!! But, I choose to skip eating even though a part of me wants to eat & finds eating pleasurable, because this strong thought in my head is saying "let's see how long we can go without it". And I'm almost always pretty proud of myself when go without it for a while. Just several days ago, I looked up the weight I'm supposed to be for my sex, age, and height, and I found out that I'm supposed over twenty pounds more than my current weight. I recognize that this isn't good AT ALL. Why the heck do I do this? Why do I think weird things like this?? It's just.. I look around the kitchen and at the food and I either think that it's not at all appealing or I should try to go as long as I can without it
Like... I just get so stuck on a certain food I want. After a day or so I just get frustrated and the craving or whatever will not stop until I get it. Nothing else will fit. It drives me so mad I can throw a tantrum for it and it makes me want to cry... I don't know if its my OCD linking up to my ED or something but its making me want to cry now. I feel like a freaking baby and now I have a headache.