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so, my mom just came in my room to wake me up, and she laid next to me awhile and our backs were touching. Not only was i annoyed but disgusted by this, i'd say to an extreme. I kept screaming "GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GO AWAY" in my head and twitching/shuffling my feet until she left.I just think it's weird because i'm ok with my friends and girlfriend touching me, why not her? I also can't stand most things she does, singing in the car, the choices she makes, ect. I also tend to snap at her and be agitated by her more than others. My mom has never done anything too bad to me but i mean, i did grow up in an unstable environment because my dad was an alcoholic/schizophrenic and sometimes i'd blame her for staying with him. But i'm over that now and don't see how that would affect me now (in this way).I do not want to be disgusted by my mother, i don't think she deserves that. (note: iv'e noticed this is more intense when i'm off my medicine, i take vyvanase, setraline and apriprazole) oh, and i just remembered i used to have this problem with my grandpa too I didn't like sleeping in the same bed or sitting in his lap or brushing shoulders or anything as a kid (and im pretty sure it only stopped because he died).Honestly i don't think i'd be comfortable with any family member touching me except for maybe a hug but if it was my partner or friend i think i'd be ok with it.
My mom was committed to a state hospital 1.5 hours from me today. She is sick.. so sick but she doesn't think anything is wrong. This is the 3rd hospitalization. All 3 were involuntary commitments from a court order. I found out today her official diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder with exreme paranoia, She is increasingly going down hill and its to the point where i am considering guardianship to make choices for her. She is eligible for disability because of the diagnosis and she is hearing impaired. She just wouldnt let me apply for her.. She wants to work but is unable to find a job because of her illness. She makes crazy associations and says off the wall things that make me fear for her.. She has no friends. no money. no car. .. she has no home .. i had the police take her to the hospital last time and she just cant come back home with me.. it sounds so awful but my mom is going to be Homeless in a matter of weeks.. whenever they release her.. the state she is in has THE WORST mental health care. she goes on spending sprees at the $1 store/writes license plate #'s down, is always talking about the fbi.. talking to nobody on the phone in the earliest of hours.. its so freaking hard because she doesnt see that shes sick.. she has lost all contact with relatives.. she hates me and im her youngest daughter.. nobody else wants anything more to do with her.. they all have given up hope.. She refuses to take medication and even told me on the phone yesterday that she had to go "pretend to take a pill." but when i had her hospitalized last yr in Ohio.. they forcibly gave her medicine by court order and for a few weeks . she seemed a little better.. How can i help her see that shes sick:? seriously i need help// thanks whodey