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Found 10 results

  1. Hello everybody, I'm new to this site, so please don't be so harsh if I did something that is out of rules, and also sorry for my English, it is not my native language. I'm a 19 years (virgin) boy, who has a very small penis which means around 4-4.3 inches when erected. I'm also obese (5'9 feet and 222 lbs), I'm just mentioning it because some said if I'll lose weight my penis will be bigger (under that I'm not meaning, it'll actually start growing, but more will be seen after the fat pad went away, which is not that big anyways and not so soft so I do not know.). Actually, when I'm in "doggie style" and having fun with my "artifical vagina" its 4.7 inches. When I grab my penis and push it back until (almost) the bone its 5.9-6 inches, but as I heard its a fake size because it is impossible to put it that deep into a girl since it is not even possible to reduce the fat pad down the bones. I also have a strange fetish which might be funny for you (I do not know how is it called in English, but its about tying something around my balls that will make it go lower, I hope you understand what I mean....) so when I do it and of course it makes my skin stretch or I do not know my penis is actually bigger like around 5.1 inches... That might be my real size if I'd lose weight? Or is it just another fake size that does not even matter? Also my other question would be men who has the same (hilarious) size: Have you ever had a sex with a girl that did not laugh at your tiny penis? Or do you even have a family? Because soon I'll want to have a family since I won't be able to live alone... To go home to an empty house that I can't even call a home.... I think I'll commit suicide if I'll be rejected that much .. I'll most certainly give it up .. Anyways, another question, which is for women: Would you live your life with a man who has this tiny penis I have ? And please tell the truth I'm not here for lies, I know what I know, but I must know other people's opinion too. Also if someone here, who has the same sizes and have a family please contact me in PM, I'd like to have a chat with him in the near future...
  2. Hey, i had a very hard time lately as im struggeling with suicidal tendencies, self harm, depression, anxiety, anorexia and OCD for many years now but im never feeling "ill" enough, so writing this is like really hard for me. Just for basic information, Ive been in therapy many times, take anti depressants and started feeling worse again last spring. I told my teacher back in summer about my problems because she asked me a lot if everything was okay and we had this class trip thing that i was afraid of and i dont Even know why i told her everything but she is like really nice and i couldnt go on any longer without telling someone. She had to tell my mom at some point because the risk would have been too high but after that we rarely talked anymore. School is really stressing me out and im even worse than before but I don't know if I should talk with her about it and i don't know how because i don't wanna bother her with my stupid problems. Can anyone help me? Thank u for reading and I'm sorry for my bad english
  3. toby

    i feel Bad[tm]

    uh hey i saw a post on tumblr which talked abt this website so here i am. i feel super suicidal atm. i almost killed myself last night and a huge breakdown and now all i wanna do is cry and delete all my accounts if that makes sense. sorry if this is too personal. um i live in an abusive home and get bullied at school (i know this sounds cliche lmao). on top of that ive got ptsd and am a csa + cocsa survivor. i dont have any irl friends and only talk to 2 people online. lately ive been doing worse and worse. sometimes i cut myself, i tend to do it more these days. i promised one of my online friends to tell him every time i selfharm but the last two times i couldnt bring myself to do it. hes concerned but i cant talk 2 anyone rn. i feel dysphoric too (im a transboy) im sorry this got so long i guess i needed some place to vent. anyway i want to fucking D ie i hate myself im an asshole
  4. Hello. I am Rae and I have been feeling suicidal for years now. Recently its got quite bad. i can't find a reason to live or even get up in the mornings. i can't finish any of my schoolwork or find motivation to do anything most people find fun to do. Quite honestly I just feel like a cliche and i just want to end this. i don't feel like i can or ever will contribute to my or anyone's life. i've planned to kill myself multiple times in the past week, but each time chickened out last minute. how can i stop this. is my existence even worth it
  5. I can't seem to find a reason to live anymore. Everything is black. I am so scared. I am so scared. I don't feel sad anymore. I feel numb. My life is just shit. I'm so tired. I want it to end. I can't stop crying. I can't calm down. I feel like I'm trapped in this forever. It'll never be okay. I'm so scared. Please help me..
  6. hi, I'm new to this. I don't know how it works but I found this website off tumblr...I don't know what to do...I think I hit rock bottom I suffer from anxiety disorders and depression along with self harm. I got in trouble a few weeks ago and my mom took my phone away and told me I can't hangout with anyone in a certain area ever again. The area my friends live in isn't the area I live in, so we go to different schools. But I don't have many friends in my school and she knows that's. She follows through with her punishments. I've barely talked to anybody and I can't go out of the house. I have separation anxiety and I overthink shit a lot. I just don't know what to do. Ive been having multiple panic attacks almost everyday and they're getting worse. All I want to do is drink, cut, and die. I don't even cry unless it has to do with waking up. Yes, I wake up in the morning crying because I have to go to school, and get out of bed. I've been waking up an hour later for school than normal. I just feel like I'm going insane and have no one to listen because I've vented about these things before but they weren't near as bad as now so all the people I talk to think I'm going to be okay and it's just normal for me This isn't normal. I know what normal feels like but I'm too scared to explain that too them because if I say how I'm truly feeling, they might think it's bullshit attention stuff but it isn't. I don't know what to do about anything. I don't even know how to clearly explain this.
  7. I dont really know how to communicate. I like to pretend like I know what the normal protocol is, but that's all it is- pretending. So I'm just gonna start rambling about whats on my mind. no one needs to listen- no one needs to care. I just like the idea of talking- even if its into a void. anyways, how to begin... how about like this? I don't go out ever. I don't really know how to. I'm 22 years old and I've spent virtually all of it hiding wherever I can to avoid people. Im not entirely sure why- I rather like most peoples company. But I also feel excluded- sorta like a drifter. I don't really have any friends- aside from a small handful. I don't really have any talents either. I'm apparently disabled- working memory and audio processing in the 12th percentile. So I wasn't even allowed to do normal high school courses. Due to the lack of a high school education, and profoundly poor language use skills, most people think im a retard. However, I did a bunch of correspondence courses and now attend uoft with a 4.0 GPA. To be blunt tho, its still not very good. I only do 3 half course equivalents (since accessibility wont let me do more due to the working memory problem), so I don't know if it really counts- and ive had a lot of extensions due to various suicide attempts and visits to the psych ward. Plus, I don't consider any of my courses terribly impressive- its just intro to computer programming (not computer science- but programming), modern symbolic logic (a bird course if you have half a fucking brain), intro to cognitive science, and intro to linguistics (again, a bird course). I would really love to do some hard classes that are really impressive- but to do anything worthwhile, I need calculus- and to get calculus, I still have to get my high school math credits. and don't even get me started on how science illiterate I am. I have a deep theoretical understanding of evolution- but a working knowledge of chemistry and anatomy that's no better than a grade 8 student. I am deeply ashamed of this fact, but find it very hard to focus on any of this. Its not that I don't care about he world around me- I do. and Ive read countless books and academic articles on very specific, niche topics. but I have very little interest in most of the specifics about the world around me. and even less interest in politics. I don't even have an interest in math. I just like the idea of being really good at something ppl find hard. I should mention that I got a 90 in computer programming and so far about a 92 in logic (I got 97 in my first first logic midterm but fucked up the second and got 86). I should also mention that I am very vain and if anyone tells me that's a god mark, I will lose my temper and tell them to fuck off. I don't fucking care what you "think" is a good mark- I care what actually is a good fucking mark- a graduate school level good mark. The kinda mark you cant get just by studying hard- but by actually having talent. I should also mention that a lot of people hate me probably for this reason. Sorry if that rant was insensitive to you. truth be told, I don't actually know what its like put in the effort and not yield the reward. in fact, I'm starting to believe that my courses are too easy- that if you put in the effort, you will always yield the reward. and anyone who fails to get a mark equivalent to mine is just a fucking lazy idiot who deserves none of my sympathy. Yes, I am not a nice person- its something I'm trying to work on. Its also made it harder for me to tolerate people who come to these forums to complain about how ugly or unsuccessful they are. Its hard for me to think of anything other than that they aren't trying hard enough to make themselves happy. I mean, for each person here that thinks they are a loser, i probably consider you to be more successful than at least one person who actually does think they are "successful". I mean, most people can sleep at night with a shitty job and a shitty degree from York with shitty marks, and a shitty spouse that's not very attractive or successful themselves. Well, that's my rant.
  8. I feel so irrational, agitated and angry. I just want to smash my face in, cut myself too deep or hang myself. I don't want to eat from 1st December. I'm not going to. I can't write this anywhere else 'cause my friends are trying to recover. I want to die. One of the side effects of Quetiapine, which has recently been doubled in dosage for me, is Seroquel Anger. Anyone heard of it? I'm currently a disgusting abusive cow. I can't stand myself. Help.
  9. SORRY IT'S SO LONG, PLEASE DON'T FEEL YOU HAVE TO READ ALL OF IT, I'VE INDICATED THE BIT I NEED TO BE READ IN ITALICS. I have been diagnosed with Dysthymia/Chronic Depression after having Clinical Depression for near enough 10 years. I had a nervous breakdown at the age of 9 after my Grandfather whom I loved dearly passed away from Cancer. I didn't go to school for a year, didn't leave the house, was home tutored, got VERY angry and destroyed the house constantly...I was vile during that year. Basically, to cut a long story short I have self-harmed for 2 years and have 8 suicide attempts to my name in just under 2 years. Doesn't sound a lot but it has got me about 6 hospital admissions and 3 A&E visits for glueing in an even shorter amount of time. I write poems when I'm stressed. So like, basically, the poem's about my head, but it's on paper. So, all my thoughts and feelings and emotions spill out into a poem and I can't control the darkness of these poems. My most recent one was written in the form of a suicide note titled 'No tears shall fall'. I guess that shows you how highly (ha) I think of myself and how much I think about suicide. I showed it to my STR worker and she referred me back to the crisis team, aka Hospital At Home for my area (I don't know if it's changed in all areas) and wanted me hospitalized as I have definite plans, the means and the motive to kill myself at any second. I had the assessment for hospitalization this afternoon in which they said that they couldn't help me and hospital wasn't the right place for me as I'm too young and not the typical 'diagnosis' for hospitalization. Unlike schizophrenia, psychosis, dementia, etc. I was waiting in ALL day today for an answer. They rang me back and told me they weren't taking me onto their caseload because I was having a lot of input from my Care Coordinator and STR worker and that they couldn't do anything else for me. Why won't they help me? Why wouldn't they section me and lock me away and keep me safe? I don't know, I'm confused. A MASSIVE part of me wants to run away and hang myself like I've planned for days and nights now...but a tiny part of me is hanging on to whatever the hell it is that's keeping me here. It might sound sad, but my animals need me to look after them, so I owe it to them really to stay here at least til Christmas. After Christmas, who knows if I'll make it to January...I really really really do not want to be alive anymore. I have nothing to give, nothing left to offer, nothing worth having, I'm not worth loving, I'm not worth being here, I'm not worth living. I'm so so depressed and I feel like no-one really truly understands how bad I feel. I'm sorry .
  10. HI my name is myka and I am 16 years old I just poured out alot of what I needed to say and it took my like 2 hours but my internet crashed so I need to just do a quick list of what I need help with I hope I put this in the right category I just didn't feel like it fit into any specific one. -Major depression -Due to being extremely mentally and emotionally bullied by my peers, and mom. People who don't even know me made a facebook page called "The freak of ida baker (my school) where people would upload pictures of me they took behind my back and talk horrible thing about me. I have even heard school staff talk about me when they didn't know I could hear them. and excessive guilt and hating myself My mom calls me stupid, lazy, retarded, and said that no one will ever love me. And she wont stop comparing me to other people it makes me feel so worthless. -Suicidal thoughts -I even almost went through with it once the only thing that held my back was the guilt of knowing that at least one person would be hurt. I have had two friends commit suicide and my school has seen 3 suicides in two weeks so I have seen the effects of it. -Self Harming -Social anxiety -I need to have major distractions to keep me from having anxiety attacks sometimes I even go to extreme lengths as to digging my nails into my skin so It doesn't turn into a panic attack. -Paranoia -Even with the slightest whisper or laughter i have to listen to it to make sure it's not about me. At it's worst I see and hear things that aren't there and I know they aren't but it's taking over my life. -Anorexia -For the past 3 weeks I've had anorexia and I hate myself for it. I'm 5'5 and 117 lbs but all i see when I look in the mirror is fat. I feel so guilty when I eat and my mom even called me fat yesterday. I have even stole some of her diet pills to do whatever I can to loose weight. -Lgbt -I like girls. My close friends know but my family and most of my community are extremely homophobic and I'm terrified of them finding out, they would kick me out and i'd never be able to see them again -Self-harming - sometimes I do it to check to see if i'm alive and not trapped in hell and other times it's to punish myself for thinking the way I do and having all of these issues -Very minor kleptomania -Bipolar -I hate this I lash out on people and I feel so extremely guilty for upsetting them which make me hate myself even more. -Imsomnia -I typically get 2 hours or less of sleep a night And I can't get help, I have built my protective walls around me way to high and no matter how much I want help from people and to talk to them I just CAN'T! PLease help me it's taking over my entire life. I'm almost having an anxiety attack simply from posting this, I have never talked to anyone about any of this so please dont judge me.
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