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I don't even know where to start. I haven't googled for small penis stuff for a while now so i got to this subforum and i think i just need to write something. I have a small penis, obvious. Not just small, also thin. To be honest when i wrote this just now i felt something weird. I don't know. A weird hate feeling. Just throwing it out there. I've had sex with 3 girls. The first one i tried to have sex with i couldn't get hard and it was awkward as hell. I hope she didn't tell anybody about it. This was a couple of years ago. We tried to have sex 2 times i failed to perfom both times. The second one was a match made in heaven. We were together for almost 2 years but broke up. I never satisfied her in bed though. Not even once. I bet our break up has to do something with that. The third one was a younger chick who was totally in love with me and i just took advantage of it (i knew she wouldn't make fun of it and tell anyone etc). I know. I fucking suck. I satisfied her once (if she didn't fake it). My life fucking sucks and i just read a thread in here and i think i'm going down the same path. He said how while his friends were out discovering their bodies and living life. Loving... i was at home smoking pot eating pizza getting fat and not giving a fuck. Girls always wanted me though... i do not know why. Even when i was fat girls were always flirting with me. I was avoiding them because i can't satisfy them and what's the point then? I want her to cum and me. When i broke up with the third chick (never had one night stands. I always had sex only in a relationship. Wanted to make it more real... because i'm fucking small) i started to get more active. I started lifting weights and doing calisthenics. I'm really fucking good at it i might add. I made such progress in 1 year where it would take most people 1-3 years. I was always like that... successful... I also played guitar good. I started thinking... I always occupied myself with some hobbies (guitar for 4 years, now lifting/calisthenics)... i think those are just things i occupy myself with to not think about my penis, finding a girl. Starting a family... I'm 22 years old. I want to be a father. I will be such a good father... the best. I know that. But i also know no wife will be happy with me. I can't satisfy her and i'm really fucked up because of all this already. I have serious anger issues and i even hit my mom sometimes (not lately though). Please don't hate me for this since i hate myself enough already and i also tried to commit suicide a couple of months ago too. I survived but spent some weeks in a psych ward which was everything like movies looked. I'm not kidding. The male nurses even beat up a guy. There was blood everywhere... Enough of this. I know this story makes no sense. I'm high as fuck and crying. My head hurts. I'm thinking about suicide again.... bottom point is this... i can't be happy. Even when i find happiness... it fades away over months/years when i realize i want a family. Should i just occupy myself with hobbies till the end of time? The thing is... i really got into shape. I'm intermediate gymnastics level and i'm afraid of wearing the tight suits because my penis is small... I'm afraid of doing certain exercises because i know how my penis looks in them - small ball. Don't know how to explain it... it's limiting me so much. I don't want to live... and yet i do. I'm 22 and sorry for my grammar. English isn't my native language. It's late, i'm fucked up... i don't even know what i'm doing.